"Hi, I'm likable McFacey and also Sneaky McSneaky, i spot traps without even trying, and I can use any magic item, so if you need someone to use a wand or something. Oh yeah, and my expected DPR is 200 damage."
"Hmmm... that's not so bad."
"We'll give you a trial run, see how you do."
I'm sorry kid. Your trial run was good, but then we found this other guy who can do everything you can do, but he replaced 200 DPR with Power Word Kill, Dominate Monster, Mass Hold monster, foresight, and Time stop, all while automatically overcoming monster spell resistance.
Beguilers ftw!
And, yeah, Bards. Hmm. If they're not going into Sublime Chord, then they suck. If they're half-elves and are Bard 5/Mindbender 1/AAA Y/Sublime Chord 1/BBB X, then, yeah. Then they're on par with a Sorcerer, but no longer really bards.
There are ways to make Bards totally awesome, like the half elf substitution level - 'the balor has to make a Will save DC 52 or "chill"' and all that. So I suppose I have to give bards some respect.
I think Beguilers are underrated. I'd take one over a sorceror any day in normal play, and they can pick up a few spells off their list, which means a lot of stupid wizard tricks are ultimately available to them, and about as painful as doing said stupid tricks as a sorceror. (Ok, maybe a little more painful if you have to go through shadow spell intermediates). Yes, beguilers are totally awesome.
Potion thrower rogues:
Its called a handy haversack. Lightweight, easy to get exactly what you want from, and potions come in all elements for your convenience! (also, your SA is the same type as the damage you dealt, ie, fire/acid/cold/lightning). And you have rapid fire, because you can, which nets you an additional attack (not included in the DPR estimate, because I'd forgotten and wasn't explicitly trying to optimize the heck out of this - I mean, I can get more than 10d6 SA too, and that's all I was counting).
The basic build works with Rogue 20 right out of the PHB (alchemists fire and acid flasks). You snag a handysack and later a ring of blinking (greater blinking eventually with non-core materials). And its pretty good at rogue 20. But you can do much better with creative PrCing and multiclassing.