The worst thing to say during sex...

[j0lt]

Him: Is it okay if I pretend you're Vin Deisel?
Her: Sure, you have the penis size of a bodybuilder...

+1 

[PhaedrusXY]

"Uh, keep looking forward; I want to pretend you're someone else."

That reminds me of one of my favorite South Park quotes, which fits perfectly into this thread:

Satan: "Saddam, why do you only make love to me from behind? Are you trying to pretend I'm someone else?"

Saddam: "Your ass is red and gigantic. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Menelli?"

[Judging Eagle]

Not the worst thing that you can say, but your comment reminded me about a girl that got off more on being slapped than anything else.

The really annoying thing about something like that is when you're not mentally prepped for a "strictly slapping session" and expect other things to occur. I mean, you may not want to do just that, but it's better if you know ahead of time that what will happen will be one person turning an other person's rear red. Since that sort of thing may tire you out and not leave you able to do what you were hoping to do.

============

Here's some others:


"Hmmm, that reminds me. We need to get cocktail weenies for my friend's baby shower next saturday."

On the other end of the spectrum:

"If that's going inside me, I'm the only one that's allowed to move, get on your back and give me some pillows for my knees."

And...

Him: "I worship at the altar that is you."

Her: "What a tiny parishoner. I hardly feel your praise."

Him: "I am sorry that I am muted by the size of the catherdral."

[CountArioch]

"If that's going inside me, I'm the only one that's allowed to move, get on your back and give me some pillows for my knees."

Heard something very similar to that before.  I'm not joking.

[Kuroimaken]

Him: "How big was your ex?"
Her: "He was kinda uncomfortable, it felt like a can of pepsi!"

[Judging Eagle]

"I can see why they call you the coke-can dispenser girl."

[bhu]

"Can you occasionally make some moose noises?

[Vidar]

"Can you occasionally make some moose noises?

Curious, how does a moose sound?

[bhu]

"Can you occasionally make some moose noises?

Curious, how does a moose sound?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHu8KNRZ0bg&feature=related

surprisingly non loud

[AfterCrescent]

"Moose are hot"

[Tshern]

"Moose are hot"

Sounds like a corollary to Mickey Mouse vs Goofy thingee.

[GawainBS]

Not necessarily "bad" to say, but out of the ordinary. Jumping out from under the sheets, hands on your hips while singing: "Cpt Hammer's here, hair blowing in the breeze, the day needs my saving expertise!"
On the same issue, and probably worse: "This is so nice, I just might sleep with the same girl twice. They say it's better the second time, you get to do all the weird stuff." (Would be quite hot if you had those fangirls chiming in in your bedroom, though.)

[Bozwevial]

Not necessarily "bad" to say, but out of the ordinary. Jumping out from under the sheets, hands on your hips while singing: "Cpt Hammer's here, hair blowing in the breeze, the day needs my saving expertise!"
On the same issue, and probably worse: "This is so nice, I just might sleep with the same girl twice. They say it's better the second time, you get to do all the weird stuff." (Would be quite hot if you had those fangirls chiming in in your bedroom, though.)

Just keep that one guy at the back of the group away from me.

[GawainBS]

As long as I can have the really dark brunette with the piggytails.

[Vidar]

As long as I can have the really dark brunette with the piggytails.

Good god, man, will you stop your whining about the pigtailed brunette?! Living with this guy is just constantly remarks about "dibs on this girl", "dibs on your sis-in-law", "next session, bring along a hot redheaded chick"

More on topic, but not quite: My girlfriend saying non stop "ZOOM ZOOM" (dutch onomatopea for the "buzz" sound of bees) during, the whole 8 hours!
More often than not, she has these weird behaviours during sex which I'll maybe remind one of these and post here.

[Sunic_Flames]

Pics or it didn't happen.

[Vidar]

Pics or it didn't happen.

Pics of Gawain constantly claiming each and every girl? That's kinda hard since it's more soundrelated. The zooming too.

[Kuroimaken]

I DO believe he mentioned the eight hour thing.

[Bozwevial]

As long as I can have the really dark brunette with the piggytails.

Good god, man, will you stop your whining about the pigtailed brunette?! Living with this guy is just constantly remarks about "dibs on this girl", "dibs on your sis-in-law", "next session, bring along a hot redheaded chick"

More on topic, but not quite: My girlfriend saying non stop "ZOOM ZOOM" (dutch onomatopea for the "buzz" sound of bees) during, the whole 8 hours!
More often than not, she has these weird behaviours during sex which I'll maybe remind one of these and post here.

I think he's talking about Dr. Horrible, Vidar.

[bhu]

"So uh...next week I was thinking of bringing in a cheerleading squad to do some cheers and uh..inspire us..."