Favorite Silly Builds/Tactics

[strider24seven]

I would like this thread to contain a large portion of the silliness that has permeated the CO and TO boards over the years.

Please submit your favorite builds/tactics that excel extremely well at accomplishing something absolutely meaningless.  The bees, basketweaving, shopping, silly infinite loops, pointless positive feedback loops, and outright tomfoolery are allowed and encouraged. 

I will start:
[Paraphrased from some of the WotC threads and from my own in-game experience]
Ingredients:  Portable Hole, Sewing Needle and Thread, Druid with Wildshape and Leap Attack.  Pants are optional.
1) a)Sew the Portable Hole to your waist
    b)Have the druid jump inside, wildshape into a bear, and ready an action to Leap Attack when signaled.
    c)Face the enemy, signal the druid by performing a violent pelvic thrust and grunting loudly.

Congratulations, you have successfully BEAR-BLASTED your opponent.

[Talore]

Ingredients: Goblinoid/Orcish PC, Leadership, Lightbulb (Glass Flask with a Continual Flame in it), spear, ladder.

Firstly, select your base or house, and with the spear, stap a hole into a wooden ceiling.

Secondly, commision your 'lightbulb,' from the local mages guild/etc.

Thirdly, place your ladder under the whole, and climb up it.

Fourth, have all of your goblinoid/orcish followers to use 'aid another'

Fifth, see how many goblins/etc. it took to screw in the lightbulb.

Ta-da!

[RobbyPants]

So does this count stuff like free-action-five-foot-passing rail guns?

I've always liked the ridiculous Hide rules and how you can use a tower shield to grant yourself cover so you can hide, and then you and your tower shield are effectively hidden!

Congratulations, you have successfully BEAR-BLASTED your opponent.

Heck, since it's a druid, it could HUMPCAT them if it wanted.

[Mixster]

Buy a cow, cast flesh to salt, sell salt, buy 100 cows. Repeat.

Cast Mount, cast magic aura, Cast Disguise self, Sell mount, skip town.

Get a +1 fullplate with called on it. Sell it as a regular +1 full plate, skip town, call armour.

Be a CE thrallherd. Get a lot of thralls, Build a castle of your thralls (it might smell but they are free easily replenished materials).

[Rebel7284]

Trouserfang Dwarf

[strider24seven]

So does this count stuff like free-action-five-foot-passing rail guns?

I've always liked the ridiculous Hide rules and how you can use a tower shield to grant yourself cover so you can hide, and then you and your tower shield are effectively hidden!

Congratulations, you have successfully BEAR-BLASTED your opponent.

Heck, since it's a druid, it could HUMPCAT them if it wanted.

Actually, passing an object involves using readied actions, which are considered standard actions.  This can lead to serious causality problems when it takes XXX standard actions (about 3 seconds apiece) to move an object YYY feet in a 6 second round. 

Stolen from the Silly Builds thread on WotC:
Ingredients:  Any eye grafts, Ocular Spell ray spells
1) Since grafts never specify that they replace actual eyes, affix the grafts to your nipples.
2) Use Ocular Spell to debilitate your opponents with your nipples.  I suggest Ray of Enfeeblement or Enervation.

[The_Mad_Linguist]

1) Play a dvati factotum
2) Optimize sleight of hand
3) Continually hide yourself 10' away as a free action, stealing everything in sight.  Nobody can stop you.  If there's a door in the way, steal the hinges, the lock, the knob, the door, the wall, the building, the lease, the land rights, and the kingdom.

[strider24seven]

1) Play a dvati factotum
2) Optimize sleight of hand
3) Continually hide yourself 10' away as a free action, stealing everything in sight.  Nobody can stop you.  If there's a door in the way, steal the hinges, the lock, the knob, the door, the wall, the building, the lease, the land rights, and the kingdom.

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!!

[Aliment]

Obese Adamantine Warforged Swordsage.  Maximise your weight and then use the shadow step ability to get above your opponent.  Laugh as your Fat Ninja abilities crush all.

Also in the rediculous fall rules:
Level 5 Druid.  Cast Jump on Buffalo, have buffalo use its 2400 lbs of weight to crush an opponent by jumping on it.

Level 4 Druid.  Get a Dire Bat, order it to drop heavy objects on people from over 200 ft.  Bonus points if your light enough to ride it while doing this.

[Lycanthromancer]

Monk/kensai, enhancing your fists with throwing/returning. Now you can hurl yourself 50' in any direction by punching things. Don't use returning, and you can flurry your way around faster than anyone else can fly.

[The_Mad_Linguist]

Monk/kensai, enhancing your fists with throwing/returning. Now you can hurl yourself 50' in any direction by punching things. Don't use returning, and you can flurry your way around faster than anyone else can fly.

Doesn't that just give you rocket fists and severed arteries?

[Lycanthromancer]

Monk/kensai, enhancing your fists with throwing/returning. Now you can hurl yourself 50' in any direction by punching things. Don't use returning, and you can flurry your way around faster than anyone else can fly.

Doesn't that just give you rocket fists and severed arteries?

Nah. You're just throwing your own weight around. They're still attached to you, after all.

Maybe not a good idea if you're a rotting corpse, though. Why don't undead have to worry about rotting away?

[Caelic]

Drunken Master Bloodstorm Blade.  Get in a barroom brawl, kick their asses by throwing the bar at them, piece by piece, for massive damage.  Bottles, coins, chairs, the little umbrella from the elf's drink...it's all good.

[Lycanthromancer]

I prefer a bloodstorm blade that has the Throw Anything feat (and possibly Fling Ally). Take Leadership, get a halfling pouncing barbarian.

[KellKheraptis]

1) Play a dvati factotum
2) Optimize sleight of hand
3) Continually hide yourself 10' away as a free action, stealing everything in sight.  Nobody can stop you.  If there's a door in the way, steal the hinges, the lock, the knob, the door, the wall, the building, the lease, the land rights, and the kingdom.

Note to self : do this as a changeling wizard.

[The_Mad_Linguist]

1) Play a dvati factotum
2) Optimize sleight of hand
3) Continually hide yourself 10' away as a free action, stealing everything in sight.  Nobody can stop you.  If there's a door in the way, steal the hinges, the lock, the knob, the door, the wall, the building, the lease, the land rights, and the kingdom.

Note to self : do this as a changeling wizard.

You don't have the requisite two bodies.

[KellKheraptis]

1) Play a dvati factotum
2) Optimize sleight of hand
3) Continually hide yourself 10' away as a free action, stealing everything in sight.  Nobody can stop you.  If there's a door in the way, steal the hinges, the lock, the knob, the door, the wall, the building, the lease, the land rights, and the kingdom.

Note to self : do this as a changeling wizard.

You don't have the requisite two bodies.

Bolded for emphasis.  Alter Self.  Polymorph.  Sure I do

[The_Mad_Linguist]

I think alter self/polymorph can only turn you into a single creature.

[Echoes]

I think alter self/polymorph can only turn you into a single creature.

A pair of Dvati twins is a single creature.

[Caelic]

I prefer a bloodstorm blade that has the Throw Anything feat (and possibly Fling Ally). Take Leadership, get a halfling pouncing barbarian.

Well, that's the point; since the Drunken Master gets to apply his unarmed damage to improvised weapons, those coins (or that halfling) does massive damage.