« previous next »
Pages: 1

Author Topic: Assassination  (Read 3251 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

axenome1

  • Ring-Tailed Lemur
  • **
  • Posts: 42
    • Email
Assassination
« on: January 06, 2010, 04:20:34 PM »
How to kill a king.
Step One: Invent the flush toilet.
Step two: Sell one to the king.
Step three: Find out his bathroom habits. Clairvoyance is good for this.
Step four: Sneak into his personal chambers three months after installation of the toilet, timing it so that fifteen minutes before the time of day when he most reliably has a bowel movement, you replace all the support pegs for the seat cushion with beads from a Necklace of Fireballs.

Comments?
Logged
"I would love to just run out the end of that building dressed as a sperm..."
-Internet comment regarding the Yas Hotel, constructed in Dubai

Havok4

  • Man in Gorilla Suit
  • *****
  • Posts: 2144
  • It can only be attributable to human error.
Re: Assassination
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2010, 04:27:54 PM »
That could be considered metagaming due to the whole flush toilet thing, but the mechanism for the assassination would work fine for a variety targets, the actual throne might be a better target as it would be much more public and no one else would sit on the throne but the king.
Logged

ninjarabbit

  • Hong Kong
  • ****
  • Posts: 1442
    • Email
Re: Assassination
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2010, 08:16:55 PM »
Except we're ignoring the fact that every king worth his crown will have a wizard version of the Secret Service.
Logged

Havok4

  • Man in Gorilla Suit
  • *****
  • Posts: 2144
  • It can only be attributable to human error.
Re: Assassination
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2010, 08:27:36 PM »
Quote from: ninjarabbit on January 06, 2010, 08:16:55 PM
Except we're ignoring the fact that every king worth his crown will have a wizard version of the Secret Service.
True that is the case, so a mundane or magically undetectable death dealing mechanism along with some method of defeating divination spells is really essential to a good assassination. A good mechanism might be something that just cannot be anticipated. The prevalence of divinations is why a good assassin has the vecna blooded template.
Logged

axenome1

  • Ring-Tailed Lemur
  • **
  • Posts: 42
    • Email
Re: Assassination
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2010, 03:47:15 AM »
eh forgot the multiple castings of Nystul's Magic Aura on the beads from the Necklace of fireballs to suppress their aura XD
Logged
"I would love to just run out the end of that building dressed as a sperm..."
-Internet comment regarding the Yas Hotel, constructed in Dubai

Brainpiercing

  • Hong Kong
  • ****
  • Posts: 1475
  • Thread Killer
    • Email
Re: Assassination
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2010, 06:11:43 AM »
Quote from: axenome1 on January 07, 2010, 03:47:15 AM
eh forgot the multiple castings of Nystul's Magic Aura on the beads from the Necklace of fireballs to suppress their aura XD
And the fact that any king worth his money will have Private Sanctum cast on his fricken toilet :). OR on his throne room and bedroom, for that matter.
Logged

veekie

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 9034
  • WARNING: Homing Miko
Re: Assassination
« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2010, 04:11:31 PM »
Somebody should replace the toilet with the Mimic cousin of the Bag of Devouring.
Logged
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

Quote from: Soda on July 22, 2009, 02:48:16 PM
"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."

Prime32

  • Administrator
  • Organ Grinder
  • *
  • Posts: 7534
  • Modding since 03/12/10
Re: Assassination
« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2010, 05:08:26 PM »
Quote from: axenome1 on January 06, 2010, 04:20:34 PM
How to kill a king.
Step One: Invent the flush toilet.
Step two: Sell one to the king.
Step three: Find out his bathroom habits. Clairvoyance is good for this.
Step four: Sneak into his personal chambers three months after installation of the toilet, timing it so that fifteen minutes before the time of day when he most reliably has a bowel movement, you replace all the support pegs for the seat cushion with beads from a Necklace of Fireballs.

Comments?
That didn't work on Fidel Castro, it's not going to work here.
Logged
My work
The tier system in a nutshell:
[spoiler]Tier 6: A cartographer.
Tier 5: An expert cartographer or a decent marksman.
Tier 4: An expert marksman.
Tier 3: An expert marksman, cartographer and chef who can tie strong knots and is trained in hostage negotiation or a marksman so good he can shoot down every bullet fired by a minigun while armed with a rusted single-shot pistol that veers to the left.
Tier 2: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything, or the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.
Tier 1: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything and the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.[/spoiler]

axenome1

  • Ring-Tailed Lemur
  • **
  • Posts: 42
    • Email
Re: Assassination
« Reply #8 on: January 08, 2010, 06:28:11 PM »
Quote from: Prime32 on January 08, 2010, 05:08:26 PM
Quote from: axenome1 on January 06, 2010, 04:20:34 PM
How to kill a king.
Step One: Invent the flush toilet.
Step two: Sell one to the king.
Step three: Find out his bathroom habits. Clairvoyance is good for this.
Step four: Sneak into his personal chambers three months after installation of the toilet, timing it so that fifteen minutes before the time of day when he most reliably has a bowel movement, you replace all the support pegs for the seat cushion with beads from a Necklace of Fireballs.

Comments?
That didn't work on Fidel Castro, it's not going to work here.
ARGH Dammit! Someone spotted it! I was hoping to get away with another week before someone remembered that! LOL
Logged
"I would love to just run out the end of that building dressed as a sperm..."
-Internet comment regarding the Yas Hotel, constructed in Dubai

Sinfire Titan

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 5697
  • You've got one round to give a rat's ass.
    • Email
Re: Assassination
« Reply #9 on: January 08, 2010, 06:38:31 PM »
Quote from: axenome1 on January 08, 2010, 06:28:11 PM
Quote from: Prime32 on January 08, 2010, 05:08:26 PM
That didn't work on Fidel Castro, it's not going to work here.
ARGH Dammit! Someone spotted it! I was hoping to get away with another week before someone remembered that! LOL

I don't think Explosive Diarrhea has ever been fatal...
Logged


[spoiler][/spoiler]
Pages: 1
« previous next »