Author Topic: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation  (Read 42107 times)

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snakeman830

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #60 on: March 17, 2011, 12:02:02 PM »
Good call.  He clearly doesn't care enough to be polite.
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Kajhera

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #61 on: March 17, 2011, 12:04:01 PM »
They sound really worn out. Probably just in general, likely from DMing.  :( I'm thinking having someone else DM might be a good break for them, rather than having to think more.

You did ask them to do a lot of thinking.

If they're finding the whole matter overwhelming, more thinking might provoke a short reaction like that.

Saeomon

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #62 on: March 17, 2011, 12:16:06 PM »
They sound really worn out. Probably just in general, likely from DMing.  :( I'm thinking having someone else DM might be a good break for them, rather than having to think more.

You did ask them to do a lot of thinking.

If they're finding the whole matter overwhelming, more thinking might provoke a short reaction like that.

You're probably right, and if it had been just this one rude message then I wouldn't be responding like I am. But it's been a pattern of rudeness. Had my DM said something like, "Hey, I'm feeling really stressed right now. Can you hold off on the questions?" then everything would be cool. But responses like the one I was sent aren't cool at all, especially not from someone you've known for so long.

Also, for a little bit of context, I can really understand being burnt out. I'm an associate at a small law firm. I've got a lot of work on my plate. I also have a 7 month old niece in the hospital with cancer. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law, her parents, are going through hell. My wife is very close to her family, and I'm doing what I can to support her and all of them.

My DM knows all of these things and yet the rudeness still flowed. Gaming was supposed to be an outlet for some of my stress. My DM made it a stressor instead.

Kajhera

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #63 on: March 17, 2011, 12:19:10 PM »
They sound really worn out. Probably just in general, likely from DMing.  :( I'm thinking having someone else DM might be a good break for them, rather than having to think more.

You did ask them to do a lot of thinking.

If they're finding the whole matter overwhelming, more thinking might provoke a short reaction like that.

You're probably right, and if it had been just this one rude message then I wouldn't be responding like I am. But it's been a pattern of rudeness. Had my DM said something like, "Hey, I'm feeling really stressed right now. Can you hold off on the questions?" then everything would be cool. But responses like the one I was sent aren't cool at all, especially not from someone you've known for so long.

Also, for a little bit of context, I can really understand being burnt out. I'm an associate at a small law firm. I've got a lot of work on my plate. I also have a 7 month old niece in the hospital with cancer. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law, her parents, are going through hell. My wife is very close to her family, and I'm doing what I can to support her and all of them.

My DM knows all of these things and yet the rudeness still flowed. Gaming was supposed to be an outlet for some of my stress. My DM made it a stressor instead.

Yes... getting out is a good idea.

KellKheraptis

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #64 on: March 17, 2011, 12:24:41 PM »
I'm usually skeptical of the actual circumstances involved in rage-quitting .... but that guy really is a dick.  How fucking inconsiderate is that to completely ignore the painstaking care and conscientiousness you poured in to that email.
Fuck that dude. 
in his butthole. 
with a chainsaw.   :shakefist

When wotmaniac pulls out one of my usual Vlad-style sentences, you KNOW it's getting bad.  Seriously though, good for you.  Tell that piece of shit fuckwipe off before you leave, and give him a spinning heel kick to the face from me  :flame
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MalcolmSprye

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #65 on: March 17, 2011, 12:33:22 PM »
If you have the emails of the entire playgroup, forward them the emails. Follow with a short, polite note saying something to the effect of, "I've tried to respond to hostile criticism with reasoned and friendly accommodation.  As you can see, {Insert GM name here} seems bent on maintaining his anger.  I'll be leaving to look for a more friendly play environment."

Never hurts to make sure others don't think you're the villain.

Saeomon

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #66 on: March 17, 2011, 12:40:40 PM »
If you have the emails of the entire playgroup, forward them the emails. Follow with a short, polite note saying something to the effect of, "I've tried to respond to hostile criticism with reasoned and friendly accommodation.  As you can see, {Insert GM name here} seems bent on maintaining his anger.  I'll be leaving to look for a more friendly play environment."

Never hurts to make sure others don't think you're the villain.

Despite everything, I don't wanna drag the DM's name through the mud and I don't wanna destroy the group for everyone else. I'm already going to have to talk to one member of the group about all of this directly, since I'm related to him. I'll probably let everybody else draw their own conclusions.

KellKheraptis

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #67 on: March 17, 2011, 12:43:07 PM »
If you have the emails of the entire playgroup, forward them the emails. Follow with a short, polite note saying something to the effect of, "I've tried to respond to hostile criticism with reasoned and friendly accommodation.  As you can see, {Insert GM name here} seems bent on maintaining his anger.  I'll be leaving to look for a more friendly play environment."

Never hurts to make sure others don't think you're the villain.

Despite everything, I don't wanna drag the DM's name through the mud and I don't wanna destroy the group for everyone else. I'm already going to have to talk to one member of the group about all of this directly, since I'm related to him. I'll probably let everybody else draw their own conclusions.

All the more reason to forward those emails.  All they'll hear is fuckwipe's side of things if you don't.
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Kajhera

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #68 on: March 17, 2011, 12:51:33 PM »
At least let them know that gaming's become more stressful than stress-relieving and that's why you're leaving. I'm sure you can do it respectfully.

wotmaniac

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #69 on: March 17, 2011, 01:10:32 PM »
this reminds me of a little episode with my group a while back.
the thing is, if you do end up passing the email around, make sure you do what I did, and simply send the entire email chain and simply say "what am I doing wrong here?"  that way you emphasis the fact that you are indeed in the business of building bridges.

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Saeomon

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #70 on: March 17, 2011, 01:12:41 PM »
All the more reason to forward those emails.  All they'll hear is fuckwipe's side of things if you don't.

I see your point. So I've come up with a plan...

At least let them know that gaming's become more stressful than stress-relieving and that's why you're leaving. I'm sure you can do it respectfully.

...and that plan is to do like Kajhera suggests and do my best to take the high road without going away silently.

So I'm going to send a short email to the rest of the group that says I'm withdrawing from the game due to a combination of life circumstances and intractable conflict with the DM over playstyle. I'll tell them all that I enjoyed playing with them, that I regret leaving because the game had been fun, but that because of the differences between me and the DM it was time to withdraw; that due to that conflict the game had become a source of stress for me rather than an outlet. I'll conclude with an open apology for inadvertently stepping on any toes, whether or not I actually did step on any toes, and say that I hope that the group will continue to have fun.

I'll personalize it up a bit, of course. Use my DM's name and all that. But I won't cast blame or aspersions onto my (now former) DM.

Saeomon

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #71 on: March 17, 2011, 02:00:00 PM »
Here's what I sent. I think it covers all of the bases.

Quote
Subject Line: It's time for me to withdraw from the game

This news is going to become known to the group very soon, so I figured I'd step out in front of it.

Due to a combination of life circumstances and an intractable conflict between [the DM] and I over my play style, I'm regretfully withdrawing from the game. I wish that this choice wasn't necessary, but due to all of these factors gaming has increased my stress, as opposed to mitigating it.

For those who are not aware, my seven month old niece is in the hospital undergoing cancer treatment. I have been doing my best to support my wife and my family. I continued with the game with [my wife's] blessing, but told myself that if it became a distraction rather than a simple diversion then I would give it up.

Unfortunately, it has become a distraction. [The DM] and I have been struggling to find a way in which to coexist as DM and player for quite awhile. Lately our struggle grew larger. I am firm in my belief that I always approached the matter with an open mind and with the intent of seeking collaborative solutions, and it became apparent to me that despite my best efforts common ground could not be reached.

I say all of that knowing that every story always has two sides. Therefore, please know that by saying what I have I do not mean to cast any aspersions on [the DM] or to diminish [the DM] in your eyes. [The DM's] run a good game, one in which I've had a lot of fun. I hope the game will go on and that all of you will continue to have fun. In my case, the fun was simply overshadowed by this conflict.

I'll conclude this email with a sincere apology for my abrupt departure. I also apologize if I ever stepped on any of your toes at any point. I don't know if I did or if I did not, but if I did then know that I did not intend to do so.

I wish all of you the best.

[Signed, Me]

P.S. - I've left [the DM's significant other] off of this email because emotions are still running hot and I don't want to antagonize [the DM] or [the DM's significant other]. I've also left [my relative who's a part of this game] off of this email because I plan to speak with [my relative] directly. I hope that my choice will not affect how any of you view [my relative], or how [my relative] views any of you, [the DM] and [the DM's significant other] included.

archangel.arcanis

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #72 on: March 17, 2011, 02:42:49 PM »
I think you did too much to cover the DM's ass on the email. I would have simply stated reasons for leaving and that would have been it. In trying to be nice it seems like you came across as the one who was wrong in the situation, at least from my vantage point.
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Saeomon

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #73 on: March 17, 2011, 03:06:56 PM »
I think you did too much to cover the DM's ass on the email. I would have simply stated reasons for leaving and that would have been it. In trying to be nice it seems like you came across as the one who was wrong in the situation, at least from my vantage point.

Hmm...if that's your read then maybe I did try too hard to be nice. :shrug I thought my paragraph that starts with "Unfortunately" made it clear I wasn't at fault.

Drull

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #74 on: March 17, 2011, 03:12:15 PM »
Ok, first time I thought the DM was attacked unfairly by the people in this thread!

I WAS WRONG!

Fuck that dude. 
in his butthole. 
with a chainsaw.   :shakefist

Saeomon

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #75 on: March 17, 2011, 03:29:35 PM »
Ok, first time I thought the DM was attacked unfairly by the people in this thread!

I WAS WRONG!

Fuck that dude. 
in his butthole. 
with a chainsaw.   :shakefist

*lol* Drull, you've made me laugh. Thank you. I need to laugh because otherwise I feel sad. No, not so much angry as just plain sad. This whole situation just spun way out of my control very fast and all over something comparatively inconsequential. There's no reason, in my mind, that rationality should not have prevailed.

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #76 on: March 17, 2011, 04:12:54 PM »
They sound really worn out. Probably just in general, likely from DMing.  :( I'm thinking having someone else DM might be a good break for them, rather than having to think more.

You did ask them to do a lot of thinking.

If they're finding the whole matter overwhelming, more thinking might provoke a short reaction like that.

This is also my conclusion.  These kinds of things tend to happen in groups of 6+ players.  I think you are dealing with a burned-out dm trying to maintain the last shreds of balance in a multi-tier'd group.

Here's the answer...E6 tier 3 only.  Of course this requires going out of core for the classes in tier 3.  It is not super difficult to run games at level 6 with bonus feats.  The players have fewer surprises to spring on the dm, and require more teamwork to get their way.  It is not difficult to break E6 by any means, but when you do, it becomes more obvious than it would at higher levels of play.
The best part is that all the classic archetypes are possible with tier 3 classes.  Consider giving 7-8th level abilities as capstone feats (factotum fan ;))

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #77 on: March 17, 2011, 04:47:14 PM »
Umm, best wishes to your niece. I don't really care about your DM or your group, but I hope she does OK.
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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #78 on: March 17, 2011, 04:53:49 PM »
Umm, best wishes to your niece. I don't really care about your DM or your group, but I hope she does OK.

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archangel.arcanis

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Re: My DM Just Banned Psychic Reformation
« Reply #79 on: March 17, 2011, 04:54:07 PM »
Umm, best wishes to your niece. I don't really care about your DM or your group, but I hope she does OK.
I'll second this. Having a daughter that has required 2 heart surgeries and isn't a year old I can really understand the parents plight.
Clerics and Druids are like the 4 and 2 in 42. Together they are the answer to the ultimate question in D&D.
Retire the character before the DM smacks you with the Table as the book will feel totally inadequate now.-Hazren