I HAVE FURY!!! Lets Play Super Robot Wars Judgement!

[Stealthyboy]

I say we go with Zeorymer, the Mazin Bros, Zeorymer, Bellzelute, Zeorymer, Blade and Blue Earth, Zeorymer and the Adorable Brain Powerds.

And Zeorymer. If we have any space left.

[Gundam Optimal]

Part 17.1: Its important to remember that SRW is essentially Fan Fiction. Once you accept that the plot ceases to seem contrived.
[spoiler]
The trick to this Puzzle Robo is to figure out which enemies you have to destroy and which you can physically block from the protected zone.



Akatsuki casts Accel and Snipe.







Oh, did I not mention that the Aestivalis Ground Frame has rocket fists? My Bad.






Using Assault, Accel and crotch missiles, Combattler finishes off the wounded SPT.






Unable to get past, the enemies attack our guys. I have them defend because theres no need to fight.



And there we have it.









I focus my funds on the units that got the most votes, which unfortunately leaves little for our newest arrivals. Oh well, guess they'll compensate somehow.



Not quite enough to upgrade Bellzellutes weapons, however. Hmm...





Easily dealt with by selling excess fuel tanks and ammo.



With SP cost reducing equipment, we have a chance to really help out either a support character or a main pilot who has to burn through SP regularly. For the time being I put it on Ruri, to reduce the cost of Nadecsicos Scan and Snipe commands. One of the argument for having Ruri as the ships main pilot and Yurika as a sub is you can use parts like this to reduce the cost of Cheer and Tire on Yurika while buffing Ruris combat stats, but frankly, any way can work if you work at it.



I can't waste flight units on the Shuffle Alliance yet, so I settle for giving them mobility boosts.



I also give Dancouga parts even though he's actually pretty far down in the roster. Oops. Well, we can fix it next time

We resume with the talking head and oh christ its her:















The size penalty to hit that large units like Voltes and the Battleships have is rarely a deal breaker, even when fighting tiny units, because most mooks have terrible stats and can't dodge even the most cumbersome weaponry. Its only when fighting bosses and some late game units when it really comes into play, and even then its more a matter of saving SP for Strike.











Apparently the mere sight of Kira socialising means Flay thinks she has to reset his brain through his junk again.









She hides in the cafeteria waiting for people to start whispering about their friends. You didn't know?







Ah, the life of an anime character. Family life? School? What are those?



And suddenly we're in their hometown. The scene isn't set very well, so I'll explain it: We're in a hotel room full of surveillance equipment, across the way from the apartment of a 16-year-old living alone.















Welcome to the last of our plots to get going, Full Metal Panic!. Melissa Mao, the tough chick, leads lovable sex offender and sniper Kurz Weber, and all-business/no social skills Sosuke Sagara on missions for the mercenary group Mithril, who have been mentioned before. If we'd gone with the Nadesico last time, they would have helped to fight the Jovian Lizards and Master Asia, but instead they debut here.








And they're basically stalking a young girl. Just to point that out.




How can you tell through his permanent scowl of total military discipline?




Assuming the UEFA give their soldiers ammo is kinda a big assumption, Kaname.









She smacks him. Since he doesn't fly out of talking range, I have to assume she's not that mad after all.










Man, I know competition for college places is tough in japan, but if your school is next door to a firebreathing spidercrab factory, I would think more than half of students would stay home.
Then again this is an anime high school, so half the students are probably wizards, mutants, or cyborgs.









Sosuke is supposed to be a big military hardware fanboy, and yet he doesn't know what the pilot of Mazinger Z, the original super robot, looks like?







But at least he recognises this is a big deal, which is heartening.









And then we're back to high school antics:







...Er...If you actually have to add vitamins to your daily meals, I think there is an issue, Sosuke. Why not just take MREs with you for lunch? Its not like it'd be any more obvious than trying to sneak an MP5 into school, which is another of your favorite tricks.

SUDDENLY EXPLOSIONS




At this point we can assume he bodytackles her and ends up with his face between her breasts.






"Why did we leave all three of our advanced Arm Slaves at the car wash? Why?"





TIMESKIP






I'd complain about so much happening off camera and being exposited to us, but given that it'd be reams of text either way, its no big loss.











Not getting to play as Boss in a hopeless fight against waves of mechabeasts, however, is a crime.




Uh, heading in basically any direction from Japan will get you to the Pacific.






I should point out that Arm Slaves are pretty low-scale as mecha go, Mithril might have awesome ones but the average mook AS would barely trouble a tank or helicopter. But then, as always, we're talking about the UEFA.




"Enhanced" is not a good term for the Iron Masks, given how criminally retarded they are. They're cyborgs, and I know 'Kaizoningen' literally means 'enhanced human', but these guys have had their brains removed to make their nazi stormtrooper helmets fit better.





That happened on a level on the other route, Zeorymers debut level.




"Attack the hero whose beaten all his plans in a place where he can't use Mazinger? You're right, thats not like Dr. Hell at all!"







Moral dilemma!



Have I explained Baron Ashura yet? If I haven't, do you really want me to?







To say Baron Ashura works for Dr. Hell is really understating the total devotion Ashura has for the mad scientist that made it. Ashura is Dr. Hells bitch through and through, and endlessly seeks praise from the doctor while timidly accepting the endless ranting when it fucks up.

You'll be shocked to hear that Ashura then turns around and asks like a psycho to its own troops. But they're retard cyborgs, so we don't much care.





This guy is treating this double-gendered abomination against god and its plan to obtain seize the worlds greatest weapons and overthrow civilisation as we know it like he was delivering pizzas. That takes a certain kind of guy.















SRWJ: Confusion and Ellipses.





Oh noes![/spoiler]

[Gundam Optimal]

Part 17.2: Nasty as they are, the enemies always stay polite and take turns.

[spoiler]



Here we begin the numerous examples of Gauron not shooting people he just said he was going to shoot. This'll be a common thing, which kinda takes away from his badassery, but given the general competence of the protagonists we have to make some allowances.





So apparently Sosuke....nerve pinched the teacher or something to make Gauron not shoot her? I couldn't tell you since I've watched like 3 episodes of FMP. Damn text-only storytelling. At least the PS2 games have some animation, if only map sprites doing a few twitches and flying around cheap explosion effects.







"Stop answering my questions with completely unrelated questions!"









You're starting to see what I mean about Dr. Hells minions, I hope. Frankly, allying with Hau Dragon and hiring Gauron are the smartest moves this mad scientist has even made.















Dignitaries of what? Why hijack airplanes if you're a merc for hire? It's made abundantly clear later on that Gauron is not a terrorist, because he doesn't have a cause, so listing a bunch of stereotypical terrorist acts he did to pay for his squad of Arm Slaves isn't really giving us the right context for who he is. But context is like kryptonite to this game, so I guess complaining won't do anything.











The inner workings aren't that hard to figure out: Everyone kisses Dr. Hells ass while he rants and raves about his genius and how everyone else is fools. Frankly, Baron Ashura is probably the most complex of the Mazinger Villains, Dr. Hell is just an Evil Mad Scientist right down to actually looking more like a wizard than anyone with any technical skill.







Oh, derp, I'm a moron. I haven't introduced the Mithril leaders yet. Not that they're that hard to explain, Tessa is a Teen Genius, Kalinin is That Old Guy with all the experience to counter Tessa's naivety, and Marduk is just the guy who repeats all of Tessa orders to the crew of Mithrils submarine, the Tuatha De Dannan (the 'Toybox' mentioned before), because soldiers cannot hear orders given by women and such things must be given by relay.






Tessa seems to know how the Enemy AI works. A useful tool.




"That's kinda brutal, isn't it?"
"The indicated area is a french orphanage."
"....Wait what?"




....What does that even mean?



Its not a matter of want, its a matter of protocol.




I'd imagine it would have a lot of meaning to the civilian populace, and the families of the victims, actually.







Wait, you think Dr. Hell will give up just because he suffered a total defeat? Thats every wedensday for him. Heck, if Koji sprains his ankle running away from the UEFA carpet bombing, it'll be a significant improvement over his usual performance.










Collecting their milk in the morning is too much for the UEFA. You gotta adjust your standards, Murrue.













I should point out that Tessa cameo'd in an earlier level on the other route, where the Nadesicos computer got confused about who was friend and foe (thanks to the UEFA shooting at it back in level 2), and Tessa helped Ruri to reset it. It was a nice touch that showed her technical skill, but I'd have preferred what happened in the Nadesico anime, where Akito has to go into virtual reality and fight Gekiganger 3.










....thats a really backhanded surrender to the moral choice, Murrue.












He stands by his old friend, even though he's already forgetting his name.







Didn't Ashura publicly threaten the hostages as it mades its demands? Dr. Hell is a 'Hijack the television to rant at all of Japan' kinda guy, so you'd think everyone would have heard about the situation by now.







This is the point in SEED when Creuset, the main villain, dissappears for half the series. Why does he do this? Probably to make it even more stupid that he's the shows main villain.




"It's bitter, like that yoghurt sauce I had to eat with all those kebabs!"









....Isn't this just the Creuset Squadron except that Creuset has an excuse for not showing up to help his subordinates?




....Seriously? I know Japan has seen Star Trek, someone at Sunrise must have known the nickname.

Anyway, the heroes arrive at the island:





Ruri is a mistress of pattern recognition. That nanomachine brain is earning its cost back.



In Japanese, saying someones full name is a mark of utmost respect in their identity. In English, it sounds like this submarine commander has forgotten his superiors name and is reading it off Athruns badge.








"So long as any of my face remains, I will happily keep getting shot down by yooooouuuu!!!!"



Spoilers: Their 'formation' is sending their forces forward in comfortably-sized waves.




There follows a short aside where some of the cast say its ok for Kira to stay on the ship, and some egg him on to brutalise his best friend, but I'll skip it since we're not using his and thus do not care for his angsting over such things.








You get the sense that team cohesiveness is not the Coordinators strong point. Thats what you get when you genetically engineer everyone to be perfect at their one special thing.



Our deployment: The Shuffle Alliance, Cagalli, Great Mazinger, Zeorymer, Boss, Voltes, Blade, Calvina, and the three Brains. Lets see how they do.



Our usual practise of grouping everyone into packs of friends mean we start to leave people behind quickly. Domon, Sai Saici and Zeorymer are now bringing up the rear. But don't panic, I have a use for them.







I know its kinda a waste to use Assault like this, but I guess I wanted to punish this guy in a walking submarine from trying to assault my overland with torpedoes.








This is probably the easiest enemy to kill this level, because the big gimmick of this level? Water. As I've said before, most of our weapons have only B or C rank underwater, many powerful attacks like beam cannons won't work at all, and theres a defense bonus and hit penalty for being underwater. Its a good thing all our units can fly, but as it is, only the Brains will be operating without penalty, everyone else will have their effectiveness curtailed.

Not that this makes the game hard, it just means the enemies take longer to kill.




Why did I leave the only water jet on Danccouga of all robots?









;_;



The Brains at least get to help out more than usual. It seems Organic Energy works everywhere.






George gets confused as he tries using his vulcans. A gundams vulcans can sometimes be useful, but only if you've upgraded the units weapons massively. Usually, this is the result. Ok for getting a few XP off a mook though.

The other new guy tries to help out. The Volt Team get as far as anyone else. This might be a long level.














A large group of flying enemies move to hit the most obvious target, Boss. However the Brains are there to support him, and with his Flight Unit he can do much more damage to these guys.


[/spoiler]

[Sucrose]

In fairness to the writers, Gauron is the kinda guy that would hijack airplanes and kill dignitaries from both sides of a conflict purely for the lulz.

In any case, I deeply approve of your cutting out of Kira's (pointless, in this case) angst, particularly given that it allowed for the space that allowed the Iron Fist of the game's true Hero to be revealed!  Boss Borot is best robot.

[Gundam Optimal]

Part 17.3: They have been reduced from 5 units that can destroy my force singlehandedly to 4! Now is the time to strike!

[spoiler]








Even with the protection of water, the guys attacking the Nadesico fair no better than any others, although Cagalli unwisely support defends (I just keep forgetting to turn it off, ok? Plus its something for the repair guys to do.)






A few of the more short ranged units get sniped, but manage to dodge anyway. Great can Thunder Break once his will is up but it doesn't work on underwater foes, and Argo's Bolt Gundam is just kinda boned.








We continue exchanging blows with the enemy and coming out on top. It does annoy me that Wall doesn't affect support defense, it really seems like it should.

The Shuffle Alliance get to work on the remainders of the first wave. As I've said, even their basic attacks are pretty darned good, although the environmental penalties still have an impact, doubly so since they have to fly here and thats not their best terrain either.




Using the Map version of the Voltekka lets Blade get some XP and puts him a little further behind the pack. With Pegas he really can tear up the maps and its sometimes best to let someone else have fun.

Voltes cracks out his better attacks, but is still having trouble now that the first set of spirits I cast out of habit have worn off. Calvina is doing fine though.




On the enemy turn, their forward element try to snipe Voltes, but the bazooka has a fair ammo supply and they give as good as they get. Some aquatic units try to get in close and suffer for it.




More focus on Lasse, enough to overcome support defense from Nanga, but he's not too badly off, and Regen should be enough to keep him in the fight.

Our turn again, and I suddenly notice something very interesting: All the ZAFT gundams are arranged right in front of the Nadesico, and because they're not aquatic units, they're suffering massive dodge penalties. This presents us a unique oppurtunity, which we then follow up by finishing off one of the recurring annoyances, this time for good.





I let Voltes run around with critical health to benefit from Kenichis Prevail skill for a while, then have Boss and Cagalli heal them up. Prevail can be incredibly useful on a real robot or on a super that has enough armor anyway that when Prevail boosts it it becomes basically immune to damage. Voltes, however, is a 'seishin bank' mecha that gets by on the fact it has 5 times the Spirit Commands of everyone else, and thus its actual stats aren't so incredible.




For example, the Archangel is outdamaging them, and it hasn't even been hit yet, let along using Murrues Prevail.



Why are you learning Focus, Tolle? You're not a pilot, stop pretending you can fly robots or skygraspers.

I take this time to punish Athrun for using his beam-cannon-using mech underwater, thankfully getting him out of the fight before he can even be an issue.



Meanwhile, Domon, Sai Saici and Zeorymer have made it to land, but rather than have them charge towards the few remaining Gundams I have them land and get into formation. What could this be in aid of?



You fail at effectiveness.



The Gundams also suck at pattern recognition and haven't gotten out of the way of the Gravity Blast. I just need to move my guys out of the way and weaken them enough, and I could have a big windfall of cash and XP...













...Easier said than done, with their supporting each other and various special defenses. Still, I don't seen to have anyone else in range, so I'd better go for it....Damn.



Double Damn.













Voltes beat the Duel and gets a big XP windfall, but again, thats just the Assault Shroud, the actual gundam is still standing. Argo finishes Dearka, despite taking a big hit.









Without the Shroud, the Duel isn't too much of a problem, Yzaks worst weapons are his constant sweary oaths of vengeance. Chibodee gives him a sendoff.



"And by that I mean the wreckage has reached escape velocity."

No seriously, do the SRW designers always go straight for the boss and assume everyone leaves a ton of mooks behind? Do they not see all the delicious money and XP lying around?








Ashura will strike if the sky is blue that morning. Its not exactly known for being overly cautious. And you certainly don't need Tessas genius brain to spot this. But then, there are more newtypes than people with basic pattern recognition in this universe.




We were never in any danger.





"Exactly how many steps ahead is a secret even to me! Thats how cunning I am!"






I don't think a mechabeast has ever done anything in 'one swift blow'.









Of course expecting a few waves of basic mechabeasts, even underwater ones, to be a threat to us is so laughable as to not even be a joke, so the game falls back on another SRW staple, the Obnoxious Failure Condition. It says something about the game mechanics that preventing yourself from slaughtering the enemy in two turns is considered a challenge. Luckily the victory conditions appear to be bugged so that we lose one of the needed wait turns immediately.






In order to keep myself amused during this, I have to suffice with roughhousing the mechabeasts but not finishing them, so I decide to experiment to see how much they can take. It becomes abundantly clear why Mazinger easily took on one each week, even level 1 Koji with just Guts as his only spirit command.





I allow myself a few kills to validate coming out all this way, and Domon takes one, activating Super Mode. Which he'll need if his dodge chance while landed and next to Sai Saici, and with a mobility part, is that abysmal.




At least his dodge when evading is decent...Also it seems I snuck another kill for Zeorymer in there because asking Zeorymer to not kill things is just wrong.




This is what most of my turns consist of now, a ship character announcing how long we have left, and then rearranging our guys to let the repair units polish the scratches out of their armor.







Wow. They can't even hurt a pseudo-real like the Rose Gundam that badly.



About the most complex thing I have to do is keep setting Zeorymer to not-murder and tell Calvina to stop trying to support defend. Not that he's even likely to take damage most of the time...

[/spoiler]

[Prime32]

"All of you, shut up! And listen..."

[spoiler]Have I posted this yet, by the way?[/spoiler]

[Gundam Optimal]

Part 17.4: HAHAHA! Mine is an evil laugh!

[spoiler]



I always dodge when I'm using support defense and not countering, to give the supporter the best chance to escape doing their duty.




With Zeorymers HP and EN Regen, this isn't even wearing it down. When one of them attacks from too close, I let Masato have a little fun.

We're rapidly running out of mechabeasts that haven't been reduced to critical health, so I turn my attention to Ashuras submarine, the dissappointingly name Bood. So long as it doesn't go below 2000hp and trigger Ashuras inevitable retreat, we'll be ok.






The first attempt doesn't go so well, but Argos not one to complain, and compared to Dearka thats a love tap. Chibodee also gives it a try.













The Brains give it a shot but Ashura proves oddly accurate with its flying torpedoes. Only Hime is able to escape a smacking.





A lot of anime martial artists can punch so hard they make shockwaves in the air. Not so many can punch so hard it makes tornadoes.

Meanwhile, a pointless comparison.

And then finally, after 5 turns of babying the enemy:









That must be a pretty big helicopter to fit 300 people...





No more conditions. Lets bag these turkeys.





First thing is to use Georges Map Attack to get rid of riff-raff.







Then I give Domon and Sai Saici kills. Learning Chain means Domons sword attacks can hit pairs of enemies, not the most impressive yet but that will improve along with his damage output.




Mainly I just give all my lowest level people all the XP they could want, and let the big boys use their biggest guns. It doesn't take long, and soon we chase the half-and-half boss away.

The Talking Heads switch over to Koji and Co. watching the Mithril helicopter fly off as it turns invisible. Seemingly Mithril never thought to check the barn on the other side of the hill.




"Abandonment is awesome! My parents taught me that!"








Not so! Koji's a mean chef, and can do your laundry!





I thought going into shock was a serious condition that could alter your body temperature and induce all sorts of side effects. This might be relevant, since if this is working out like in the TV show, this girl is dressed in a towel and pumped full of drugs.








He said with obvious joy in his voice.




Mazinkaiser can be controlled by shoving an exercise bar into the console and pretending its a motorbike. Actual military hardware is a little different.










You might have noticed Sosuke is something of a stoic, not given to emoting, which is ironic given he has the same voice actor as hot-blooded heart-on-sleeve Domon. This is probably the first time Chidoris seen him without his game face on, ready to take pride in his work: Killing terrorists.

















"We fought a purple man who fought with ribbons and a giant slug that shot gravity. It was really annoying, it barely felt military at all."



WHOOPWHOOPWHOOP




Shame we didn't get to play that fight. Also, apparently SRW Sosuke is better than the canon one because the beating 5 Savages thing is something Sosuke does in a much better unit.




They hop the fence and head for the river, but:








Why was another pilot using Sosukes mech in the first place? Why didn't he have his own? Was it someone Sosuke knew? This point is apparently in to explain stuff next level, but raises more questions than it heads off.

Like, for instance, why Sosuke can tell its his when Mithril would have bombed it back to the stone age to make sure Ashura didn't get so much as a screw from it.

THEN SUDDENLY





Gaurons ponytailed mech rushes the Savage and shanks it, disabling it in one blow.










She said while armed with a hairband and high heels.















The terrorism pays for his dream job of being a brain stylist.














Fade to black.



Checking the intermission roster, we see that theres one essential unit for next level, and its Koji in Mazinkaiser. Which is a positive sign, if a bit of a spoiler.

Finally, the puzzle robo this time:








We have to prevent the bad guys from entering the red squares, and this time they're closer than we are. And we have no spirit commands, just a bunch of plucky Aestivalis in a variety of frames. I can possibly provide more details on request.

Right, so, after seeing that roster you chose in action, are there any changes you'd like to make? And where should I put my upgrade money?

[/spoiler]