Episode 36: Don't Kick People out of your game

[Josh]

I have a long standing "love hate" relationship with analogies.  The key thing to remember is analogies are used to explain a point, not to examine or extrapolate.  The item missing from the standard dinner party is the key part of gaming, the game.  People come to a game because of the playing. 

The reason that is important is that people understand the need to work at and improve that game.  While dinner party communication may be rare, game communication is incredibly common.  In fact it is rare not to communicate.  How much obligation is their for a gaming group to communicate, quite a bit.

Even old school traditional grognard sour pusses advocate communication and player feedback.  And remember, people who you would kick out of a dinner party, kick out of your game. 

[Meg]

In summary, is it better to velvet rope, or is it better to kick players out? And, if somebody's a jerk at your dinner party, how much attempt at communication are you really obligated to do?  Because, I think, for a lot of us, it's less than you guys seem to think.      

Great point and something we should've elucidated on.  The communication we advise is about quality, not quantity.  Have good, effective communication up front- it will save a ton of time in the long run.  Head off the problem when it first arises, don't spend 10 minutes every game just putting a band-aid on it.

I'm convinced that most gamers, when they "just talk to" their fellow players, do it in a way that adds to the problem, not heading it off.  So it's the same amount of communication- perhaps a bit front loaded, but saves a ton of time, energy, and heartache in the long run.

[cfbrunner]

Hey there,

I'm just getting caught up with all the podcasts, but this is near and dear to my heart.

But I have a rather unique take on this and can use some advice. So, I was running a D&D with friends for about 3 years when I started to have some personal issues and told the group that I really couldn't run any more (and needed to take a break from playing as well).

So, another player offered to run the game at his place and they had one session (a few players couldn't make that one due to some scheduling conflicts).

The next day, both I and the other players get emails/text messages from the rest of the group telling us that the game went really well and they don't really want any more players. So yes, I was kicked out of a game that I had been running... Also at about this time pretty much all social activities with these people stopped as well (so, no more invites to game nights, coming over to play rock band, etc.).

So.. yeah.. that happened.

But now the -real- questions. I'm back to running a game again. The question is, do I invite any of those people back? Should I be the bigger man?

[Josh]

Should you be the bigger man?

Good question, not one I can answer.  Your friends were jerks, or they were just dumb.  Or, whatever. 

Then there is the need factor.  When I was growing up in Maine we had to put up with players foibles, because if you didn't there would be no game at all.  You may need these players.  Or you might have tons of players. 

So, do you need these guys?  do you want to give them another shot? 

The key question is: will you have more fun with or without them?  Do that.

[InnaBinder]

[raise thread] This thread seemed relevant to this episode.  At least, I thought so.

[Zeke]

I actually don't disagree with any of those points, just in execution

[RoboZeke]

I actually don't disagree with any of those points, just in execution

BEEP BOOP! EXECUTION COMMAND ACCEPTED!

STATE NAME OF HUMAN FLESH BAG IN NEED OF TERMINATION!

[Zeke]

I totally accept being replaced by a robot