Brilliant Gameologists Forum

Play Like You Have To! => The Kitchen Sink => : Kuroimaken January 04, 2009, 03:19:17 AM

: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Kuroimaken January 04, 2009, 03:19:17 AM
Topic. I'll go first!

Tonight, SWSE campaign. Our intrepid heroes were all near a Jedi Master's home in the middle of a wastelands-like planet. Nearby there was this odd rock formation circle (think Stonehenge), in the middle of which said Jedi Master should be meditating. My character went on ahead (he wanted to train under him) and was waiting for him to come out when the other characters showed up and they decided to move into the place. Only one of them made it in (place was based after that creepy swamp from Empire Strikes Back). Since the guy started taking too long to return, I went in.

Inside, I found what I thought was the old master, and started "sparring" with him. At some point I figured it was an illusion so I started actually attacking. Then the guy blocks my lightsabers with his bare hands.

My next action: "I mind trick myself into believing it's an illusion."
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: altpersona January 04, 2009, 10:24:07 AM
lvl 1 psycic unicorn, power surges and kills whole party with a mountain.

2e.75(?)
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: emissary666 January 05, 2009, 08:13:55 AM
Ripped out the druids tongue

He deserved it
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: veekie January 05, 2009, 10:00:23 AM
Turned a black dragon into a fish(he'd make the save on a 3, DM rolled a 2), then had him for lunch.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: altpersona January 05, 2009, 10:33:30 AM
saved the princess, with help from my brother, from the BBEG anthropamorphised half dragon turtle.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Kuroimaken January 05, 2009, 12:30:14 PM
saved the princess, with help from my brother, from the BBEG anthropamorphised half dragon turtle.

Your DM had been seeing TMNT reruns?

...that, or arguing with Faelryinth.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: BowenSilverclaw January 05, 2009, 12:37:35 PM
I think it's a Super Mario Bros. thing ;)

: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Straw_Man January 05, 2009, 01:28:46 PM
saved the princess, with help from my brother, from the BBEG anthropamorphised half dragon turtle.

So she wasn't in another castle?
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: altpersona January 05, 2009, 01:43:33 PM
it was a long campaign.. lots of anthro turtles... lots of castles..   :banghead



 :P
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Shaun January 05, 2009, 02:43:10 PM
In one of my Burning Wheel campaigns a couple of weeks back, my character failed an Oratory test trying to convince my character's countrymen to organize into a resistance movement against an occupying army, but instead spurred them into an angry, torch-wielding mob who burned down the village and were then subsequently slaughtered by the soldiers I'd wanted to revolt against.

That's kind of a tie with last night's game, where I failed to stop the priestess of a pacifistic religion from exacting revenge on an unarmed inquisitor who had been confessing her followers. By confessing, I mean slitting their throats. It wouldn't have been cool, except that I have "Always seek justice," and "never kill a fallen foe" as Instincts. Also, it was me that had convinced her that the time had come to take matters into her own hands.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Kuroimaken January 05, 2009, 04:11:41 PM
In one of my Burning Wheel campaigns a couple of weeks back, my character failed an Oratory test trying to convince my character's countrymen to organize into a resistance movement against an occupying army, but instead spurred them into an angry, torch-wielding mob who burned down the village and were then subsequently slaughtered by the soldiers I'd wanted to revolt against.

That's kind of a tie with last night's game, where I failed to stop the priestess of a pacifistic religion from exacting revenge on an unarmed inquisitor who had been confessing her followers. By confessing, I mean slitting their throats. It wouldn't have been cool, except that I have "Always seek justice," and "never kill a fallen foe" as Instincts. Also, it was me that had convinced her that the time had come to take matters into her own hands.

That's some kewl stuff indeed. XD
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Shaun January 05, 2009, 05:21:14 PM
Even cooler - the priestess is one of the other players. My wife, in fact. She proceeded to thoroughly school me in a DoW and convinced my character that sometimes justice is dirty.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Vynar January 09, 2009, 02:56:17 PM
I jokingly asked the dm if I could make a fortitude save against epic failing and I rolled a natural 1.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Kuroimaken January 09, 2009, 03:40:10 PM
I jokingly asked the dm if I could make a fortitude save against epic failing and I rolled a natural 1.

I've lost count of similar counts, such as Reflex saves to catch glasses full of soda or Spot checks to notice my sheet wasn't at my spot on the table...
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: SorO_Lost February 01, 2009, 12:05:09 AM
I've lost count of similar counts, such as Reflex saves to catch glasses full of soda or Spot checks to notice my sheet wasn't at my spot on the table...
...My seat wasn't there to sit down on, dogs make funny nosies when you fall on them... Fun times.

One of the coolest things I've done is successfully hide in my armor.
I pretended to be a guy who pretended to be a decoration.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: skydragonknight February 01, 2009, 12:36:17 AM
My character-a Were-Rhino named Bud Tugly-had his head cut off from a Blade Golem(4 armed golem: wields blades) with vorpal swords. The DM asked if I was immune to having my head cut off. My fellow players and I checked my abilities and the Artificer quoted the fluff text on Morphic Immunities that my internal organs were always shifting around. So we gave it a 15% chance that my brain was in my head when it got cut off, with low being bad. I rolled pretty high-my brain was somewhere near my feet when my head was cut off, so I survived.
At the suggestion of the Cleric, next round I shifted from headless hybrid form to hybrid form with a head (never mind the legality of it; the DM allowed it) as a move action(Warshaper 5) and immediately proceeded to take revenge on the Blade Golem.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: BowenSilverclaw February 01, 2009, 05:19:12 PM
Hey, another Lycanthrope bruiser :D

My Werebear, in an undead heavy campaign, jumped down about a 100 ft. from his airship and went dragoon on some Angels of Decay :D


Definitely one of his more 'cinematic' accomplishments :P
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: SixthDeclension February 01, 2009, 05:48:33 PM
Lycanthrope vs. Vampire Game. Before I joined, the party chose to be on the Lycanthrope side (pseudo-good). We needed to kill this head vampire's daughter, so we went to his house. Fought a battle, and slowly looked into the next room. Black Dragon. We devise a plan to sneak across; the smaller lycanthropes in our party snuck across the room without being seen. The last couple of us, one at a time, went to cross. The person ahead of me got caught and breath weaponed. I, playing a DFA, go out, bluff the dragon with a 35, and convince it that we were really on the side of the vampires. Doesn't help that we got the girl out of the house and never brought her back... and now have a dragon after us. Yay for dragons not having sense motive!
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Kuroimaken February 02, 2009, 01:49:20 AM
Attempted to Baleful Polymorph a Drow Priestess.

A little background on this. We're trapped in the Underdark. Saved said Drow Priestess. Said Drow Priestess had been treating every male character in the party like trash. At some point, we were supposed to pass a checkpoint and my character decides it would be to his benefit to disguise himself as a female Drow rather than a male (everyone else had set up their disguises otherwise). Said Drow Priestess dispels it. I set it up again when she's not looking.

When we get to the city gates she says, "this is a prisoner, you can arrest him" and dispels my Alter Self. I end up escaping.

So I follow her, my character loses his marbles, and he decides this bitch needs a lesson. Quite a few attempts to "peacefully" stop him later (including a Charm Monster from the other Wizard in the party, which she ruined by trying to curse me, I escaped), my character ends up with three arrows to the chest, enervated and cursed - but alive.

This bitch is gonna get what's coming to her. BIG TIME.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Caelic February 09, 2009, 08:15:33 PM
Live-action group called "Adventures in Mid-Land."

I was playing a Goblin.  Not just any Goblin, mind you, but a Spackwater Goblin--a member of the poorest, most wretched tribe in the Free Lands.  The Spackwaters were known for mutations and deformities--my Goblin had a nose that was a good eight inches long, from which he got his nickname: "The Beak."

The Beak was cowardly, conniving, and greedy.  He'd come to the human settlements to make some money in order to pay off a rather large gambling debt; he had a weakness for cards, and wasn't particularly good at them.  The way he saw it, the humans were powerful, unpredictable, and violent, but they were also rich--so he was going to just keep smiling and nodding and agreeing with them while taking them for everything he could get.

An odd thing happened with the Beak, though: he developed a conscience.  Every time the you-know-what hit the fan, I found him charging in to do the right thing--to his amazement and mine.  His battle cry was "What the hell am I DOING!?"

This culminated with a mission in which the Beak (who had the constitution of a cockroach and was basically immune to disease) was one of only a handful of characters not incapacitated by a plague, and had to go on a quest to find the cure.  Long story short: when a voice told us that one of us would have to sacrifice his life for the cure, everyone else stepped back and the Beak stepped forward.

As a result, my cowardly, conniving, poison-using, compulsive-gambling Goblin became the chosen disciple of the Goddess of Healing and Mercy.  Now THAT was an interesting pairing.

Ultimately, though, the Beak developed a purpose greater than just making money and keeping himself alive.  He started to wonder why his own tribe shouldn't have some of the wealth and luxury he saw among the humans. 

Now: the Beak made money.  He made a LOT of money.  And, ultimately, he achieved his goal:  first, acting through intermediaries, he purchased the land on which his tribe lived from the King of Selinor (the main human kingdom.)  Next, he made a trip to the Free Lands to visit the Goblin King, and purchased the land from HIM.

Yep--I bought a country.  Twice.

That's a nice way to wrap up a character's story. :)
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Straw_Man February 09, 2009, 08:17:23 PM
Live-action group called "Adventures in Mid-Land."

I was playing a Goblin.  Not just any Goblin, mind you, but a Spackwater Goblin--a member of the poorest, most wretched tribe in the Free Lands.  The Spackwaters were known for mutations and deformities--my Goblin had a nose that was a good eight inches long, from which he got his nickname: "The Beak."

The Beak was cowardly, conniving, and greedy.  He'd come to the human settlements to make some money in order to pay off a rather large gambling debt; he had a weakness for cards, and wasn't particularly good at them.  The way he saw it, the humans were powerful, unpredictable, and violent, but they were also rich--so he was going to just keep smiling and nodding and agreeing with them while taking them for everything he could get.

An odd thing happened with the Beak, though: he developed a conscience.  Every time the you-know-what hit the fan, I found him charging in to do the right thing--to his amazement and mine.  His battle cry was "What the hell am I DOING!?"

This culminated with a mission in which the Beak (who had the constitution of a cockroach and was basically immune to disease) was one of only a handful of characters not incapacitated by a plague, and had to go on a quest to find the cure.  Long story short: when a voice told us that one of us would have to sacrifice his life for the cure, everyone else stepped back and the Beak stepped forward.

As a result, my cowardly, conniving, poison-using, compulsive-gambling Goblin became the chosen disciple of the Goddess of Healing and Mercy.  Now THAT was an interesting pairing.

Ultimately, though, the Beak developed a purpose greater than just making money and keeping himself alive.  He started to wonder why his own tribe shouldn't have some of the wealth and luxury he saw among the humans. 

Now: the Beak made money.  He made a LOT of money.  And, ultimately, he achieved his goal:  first, acting through intermediaries, he purchased the land on which his tribe lived from the King of Selinor (the main human kingdom.)  Next, he made a trip to the Free Lands to visit the Goblin King, and purchased the land from HIM.

Yep--I bought a country.  Twice.

That's a nice way to wrap up a character's story. :)

  Thats .. pretty damn epic Caelic.  :clap
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Nachofan99 March 02, 2009, 07:18:23 PM
D&D 3.5

My character was asleep in a Tavern/Inn that had just been pillaged the day before; he had successfully Intimidated the bandits to just get the hell out of Dodge - from time to time I let evil-doers off the hook hoping I don't have to get covered in their blood.

Well 3 of the bastards came back that night and it was no surprise when I failed my Listen check with something like a grand total of -13 (Inattentive+Asleep+Awesome Roll  of 1=Awesomely Alert!)

Well, I was Coup-De-Graced in my sleep - I make my death save and wake up (Damage Reduction+Delayed Damage Pool anyone?).  Two guys are holding me down and there's one guy standing there with his sword buried in my chest.

Did I mention I'm a desert half-orc mineral warrior?  Easily making my grapple check, I bust my 1/day earthstrike, natural 20, confirm it, kill a man with my bare hands by sticking my fingers through his eye-sockets, then I *cleave* into the guy next to him with the same skull-fucking maneuver and likewise kill him.

The third guy has no weapon now because he shit himself (literally) and left the sword buried in my chest.  I take his testicles and fashion a pair of dice out of them with Craft: Taxidermy.

The lesson? Leave sleeping desert half-orc mineral warriors where they lay.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Pyro_Azer March 09, 2009, 11:34:24 PM
In a high level campaign i had a wizard that worked a side job a a jester(don't ask). Anyway we were fighting through an evil wizards tower. The DM fully expected us to fight the wizards personal bodygaurd and then fight the wizard. Unfortunately i had other plans. Due to some lucky rolling and smart spells and items I turned the wizards bodygaurd into a fanatic for me. Our party then ordered him to kill the wizard. It was successful.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: ZeroSpace March 11, 2009, 03:52:49 PM
This last game day with my group, we were playing Shadowrun 2E, and we all very stupidly let ourselves get captured. It involved a standard 'if you want to see your friends again...' note and bottles of knockout drugs brewed for each of us specifically. The Dwarf drunk one full bottle meant for the elf, then mixed his mostly full bottle with the other orcs mostly full bottle and downed that.

Anyways, we then get sent through some combat challenges by a company we had been working against, shooting up lots of sasquatch and vampires along the way. We then get to a water challenge, where we have to sink the other guys boat. Ingame, it was done because we were killing shit good, but we know the REAL reason we were given rubber bullets is because one of the guys wanted nice ammo for the boat guns.

After a fast and furious fight, both of the boats are dead in the water, and the next to act would likely win. That would be me, using the loaner machine gun to turn their boat into swiss cheese. With rubber bullets.

Good times.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Prak, the Mad March 17, 2009, 02:00:14 AM
Group's going through a dungeon, I'm playing a Wild Elf Barbarian (D&D 3.5). We come to a door and I listen at it, and hear some big speech, think Hitler style, in a deep booming voice. I open the door a crack and peek in, and see a Minotaur talking to a bunch of goblins. I close the door again and start pulling out lamp oil and alchemist's fire, and tie the bottles together. I open the door again, throw the bundle in and close it. I back up and ready my bow, and the rest of the group readies their weapons. The goblins trickle out, on fire, and drop, the ones that aren't damaged enough I shoot down.

Then the minotaur bursts out. I'm in front, so I'm first, the minotaur attacks and sends me flying to the end of the short corridor, he attacks the rest of the party, but then charges me, goring me and pinning me to the wall.

At this point I turn to the dm and say "so, his horn is going through me and stuck into the wall?" "Yeah" I look down, and grin, and lop the damn thing's head off.

I then proceed to skin it and turn it's hide into a hooded/masked trenchcoat (with the horns and crown of the skull still in the hood), die it in it's blood, make a goblet from it's skull, and so on and so forth.

that was a fun game.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Risada March 19, 2009, 10:14:10 AM
Group encounters a Bulette in a dungeon. There's a deep chasm/hole nearby. As the encounter starts I use SMII to call a wolf and promptly order him to throw himself in the chasm, while I ready an action to cast Baleful Transposition when the wolf moves. The bulette fails the save.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: RobbyPants March 23, 2009, 11:32:30 AM
This is more for what two players did in a game I ran.  This one was also fun, because it was the one time my wife (girlfriend at the time) had fun with D&D

Years back I was running a 2E game (with Player's Option material), set in 18th century Europe.  Magic was supposed to be very rare.  The two characters were a gun-slinging fighter and a witch (using the Spells & Magic warlock casting variant).

For whatever reason, these two low level characters had to take on a small fort.  The fighter had a tendancy to load up on nearly a dozen firearms so he could go a while without reloading, so he was able to shoot the place up pretty well.  I think they attacked from the cover of darkness, which helped keep them from taking much fire.  Speaking of fire, they managed to light up a portion of the wooden wall, and the witch made judicous use of Affect Normal Fires (ah, I miss that on in 3.5), eventually setting the whole place up!

I wish I remember the specifics, but basically, two low-level PCs managed to take on an etire fort.  The two of them still bring that game up.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Caelic March 27, 2009, 10:05:36 AM
Group encounters a Bulette in a dungeon. There's a deep chasm/hole nearby. As the encounter starts I use SMII to call a wolf and promptly order him to throw himself in the chasm, while I ready an action to cast Baleful Transposition when the wolf moves. The bulette fails the save.


Congratulations--you invented the sling Bulette.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Risada March 28, 2009, 12:30:03 AM
Group encounters a Bulette in a dungeon. There's a deep chasm/hole nearby. As the encounter starts I use SMII to call a wolf and promptly order him to throw himself in the chasm, while I ready an action to cast Baleful Transposition when the wolf moves. The bulette fails the save.


Congratulations--you invented the sling Bulette.

I thought it was more like bungee jump without the cable...
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: skydragonknight March 28, 2009, 10:02:46 PM
PhaedrusXY needs to post here.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: The_Mad_Linguist April 10, 2009, 07:19:50 AM
Bluffing a fortress guardian into believing our party was encyclopedia salesmen.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Kuroimaken April 10, 2009, 11:38:27 AM
Bluffing a fortress guardian into believing our party was encyclopedia salesmen.

Might as well go with TV repairman and pull off a Bruno the Bandit...
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: The_Mad_Linguist April 11, 2009, 05:27:02 AM
Updated now that it's been revealed in game, and my players have no chance of seeing spoilers:


Using journalists as a disease vector - for a plot point.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Akalsaris April 13, 2009, 08:17:02 PM
2E high level game

I was DMing, and the fighter/mage is on a solo campaign with one of the other players watching, off to rescue a princess from an evil illusionist.  He flis over and lands on top of the tower, when suddenly twenty death knights (Really Tough Baddies) appear out of nowhere and attack him!

The player freaks out immediately and shouts: "How did this illusionist get TWENTY DEATH KNIGHTS??"

I tried to run the combat, but the other player was on the floor, laughing so hard it was imposible.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Autopsibiofeeder April 25, 2009, 08:11:10 AM
3.0 ish (3.5 wasn't out yet). We were fighting in a dungeon that featured a ceiling with a lot of shafts/passageways, to facilitate the resident beholder(s). We knew there was a beholder around, but we were at that point fighting some big hardhitting monsters (don't quite remember what). The party mage was invisible, hiding and buffing where possible, as he had run out of combat spells. As such he and the ranger agreed that the ranger could get a fly spell, so he could shoot arrows freely without aforementioned hardhitters charching him.
I played a psychic warrior (we adapted the class to make it workable) and was having a blast with the monsters. I was metamorphose'd into a stone giant, wreaking havoc with a huge greatsword.

The DM asks the ranger where he plans to position himself and they work it out on the map.

DM: You sure...here?
Ranger: Yah, definately...blabla line of sight blabla contingency plan.
It sure sounded like a good idea
DM: *Scratches head* Gee, well, you position yourself directly in line of sight of the beholder and it fires a ray on you, make a save.
Ranger: *fails*
DM: Your skin tickles as it seems to freeze and within a second you are turned into a statue
Ranger: Doh!...oh, hehe, a flying statue!
DM: No...a falling statue....you are about to fall 50ft, smash into the floor and shatter.
Ranger: And then?
DM: You die

Awkward silence ensues as the ranger sobs at his sheet

Me: Hang on, it is my turn...*puzzles*. Allright, am I strong enough to lift the statue? (DM confirms). Ok, I manifest a quickened dimension door, to where the statue is, catch it mid air and fall with it
DM: Uhh, ok *has me roll some checks to execute my move with precision, I roll very well* You know, that's really gonna hurt..
Me: I don't care, even if it breaks all the bones in my body. I wanna grab him, hug him and make sure we fall so I hit the floor first.
DM: Okay, that's awesome enough I'll let it work. *rolls damage for me* The statue lives
Ranger: *Happy*
Me: *Proud*
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Kuroimaken April 25, 2009, 12:52:01 PM
That's awesome, even if your DM made a wrong call. Fly grants perfect maneuverability... and anything with perfect maneuverability that gets hit, paralyzed, etc. continues to fly until the effect runs out.  :)
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Autopsibiofeeder April 25, 2009, 05:28:36 PM
Hmm, Kuroimaken, your comment kept me busy for a bit there, while doing cooking and dishes. I am sure the spell grants good maneuverability, not perfect, at least in 3.0. I donīt think thatīs the line of reasoning the DM/our group follows, anyway.

I pondered on how a spell that affects a creature would affect an object, or rather, a creature turned into an object during the spell. I guess the effect could persist, but then I thought about how the fly spell would work. Does it enable you to fly if you wish so, or does it make you fly? In other words, do you hover by default (starting the moment the spell gets cast on you) or walk by default with the ability to set off and fly? If someone casts fly on you while you are standing on the ground and then the floor beneath you gets disintegrated, would you fall unless you choose to fly/hover in the place you were (which would be a legitimate choice) or do you hover and would you have to 'choose' to not-fly if you for some weird reason would want to fall? Seeing how someone turned into stone becomes mindless, these questions are important and likely played a role, as that is how we treat fly :) .

Anyways, it was a nice thought excercise I figured to share. It doesn't really matter. Maybe the anti-magic eye cone of the beholder had something to do with it, I honestly don't know, or can't remember. A point I would like to make, though, is that the players did not oppose his ruling, were satisfied and enjoyed the session...slap consistency on the side of the DM onto that and I think you have a call that is different at worst, but cannot be 'wrong'. But that's semantics and beyond the point of the thread  ;).

Cheers!
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Kuroimaken April 25, 2009, 06:12:30 PM
Hmm, Kuroimaken, your comment kept me busy for a bit there, while doing cooking and dishes. I am sure the spell grants good maneuverability, not perfect, at least in 3.0. I donīt think thatīs the line of reasoning the DM/our group follows, anyway.

I pondered on how a spell that affects a creature would affect an object, or rather, a creature turned into an object during the spell. I guess the effect could persist, but then I thought about how the fly spell would work. Does it enable you to fly if you wish so, or does it make you fly? In other words, do you hover by default (starting the moment the spell gets cast on you) or walk by default with the ability to set off and fly? If someone casts fly on you while you are standing on the ground and then the floor beneath you gets disintegrated, would you fall unless you choose to fly/hover in the place you were (which would be a legitimate choice) or do you hover and would you have to 'choose' to not-fly if you for some weird reason would want to fall? Seeing how someone turned into stone becomes mindless, these questions are important and likely played a role, as that is how we treat fly :) .

Anyways, it was a nice thought excercise I figured to share. It doesn't really matter. Maybe the anti-magic eye cone of the beholder had something to do with it, I honestly don't know, or can't remember. A point I would like to make, though, is that the players did not oppose his ruling, were satisfied and enjoyed the session...slap consistency on the side of the DM onto that and I think you have a call that is different at worst, but cannot be 'wrong'. But that's semantics and beyond the point of the thread  ;).

Cheers!

I suppose you're right. I was just pointing out the RAW side of the thought exercise.  :P
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: emissary666 May 09, 2009, 09:17:34 PM
Well, it failed, but, last thursday my rogue failed by 2 on a bluff check to convince a horde of goblins that hobgoblin invaders were building metal gear.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Kuroimaken May 10, 2009, 02:02:56 AM
Well, it failed, but, last thursday my rogue failed by 2 on a bluff check to convince a horde of goblins that hobgoblin invaders were building metal gear.

Don't you mean Metal Gear? Those capital letters make a lotta difference, y'know.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Rymosrac May 20, 2009, 05:49:08 AM
Rolled a nat 20 when sneak attacking something with a crossbow. Rolled a nat 20 on the crit confirmation. DM had me roll again, randomly instigating the insta-kill rule - one we've never before or since opted to use. Nat 20. By this point, the entire table is dead silent. DM asks me to roll one more time. 19.

Sad thing is, I was shooting at an orc.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: PhaedrusXY May 22, 2009, 04:24:14 PM
PhaedrusXY needs to post here.
:lmao

How about "Possessing the intelligent tooth of your party-mate"? Oh, and I have a necklace that follows me around whenever I possess someone (Stranger with the Burning Eyes PrC from Frank and K's Tome of Necromancy). So that appeared in his mouth, around his tooth. It was quite a hilarious moment.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: BowenSilverclaw May 22, 2009, 04:26:40 PM
PhaedrusXY needs to post here.
:lmao

How about "Possessing the intelligent tooth of your party-mate"? Oh, and I have a necklace that follows me around whenever I possess someone (Stranger with the Burning Eyes PrC from Frank and K's Tome of Necromancy). So that appeared in his mouth, around his tooth. It was quite a hilarious moment.

Much win was had :D *high five*
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Bozwevial May 22, 2009, 06:13:48 PM
Hmm, let's see. I once bluffed my way inside an orc fortress by holding a dead orc corpse in front of the eye slit in the door and speaking gruffly. Then when they opened the door, we fired the ballista we had set up behind the door. The magically reloading, flaming ballista, mind you. So much fun.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Kuroimaken May 22, 2009, 06:21:17 PM
Hmm, let's see. I once bluffed my way inside an orc fortress by holding a dead orc corpse in front of the eye slit in the door and speaking gruffly. Then when they opened the door, we fired the ballista we had set up behind the door. The magically reloading, flaming ballista, mind you. So much fun.

Clone Wars style infiltration FTW?
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Dan2 June 02, 2009, 05:02:35 PM
A friend and I sold Tenser's Floating Disks with rugs on them as "discount flying carpets".

Leaving town quickly afterward was a mandatory part of the plan...
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Agita June 02, 2009, 05:15:32 PM
How about Bluffing a potentially important NPC into thinking her date had touched a six-year old in inappropiate places and then Shattering said date's pants? :D
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Bozwevial June 02, 2009, 05:35:23 PM
How about Bluffing a potentially important NPC into thinking her date had touched a six-year old in inappropiate places and then Shattering said date's pants? :D

This after convincing the aforementioned date to give the little girl a dessert he was holding.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: BowenSilverclaw June 02, 2009, 05:40:47 PM
How about Bluffing a potentially important NPC into thinking her date had touched a six-year old in inappropiate places and then Shattering said date's pants? :D

This after convincing the aforementioned date to give the little girl a dessert he was holding.

Long live social skills :D
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Vinom June 02, 2009, 05:46:11 PM
Got a mug, and every day would contingencsy spell predigtation to lower the water in it by one degree... we then faced the BBEG, I put down the mug, plane shift followed by quicken create water... the second the mug was filled the DM looked at me and said... "What was the point..." I calmly explained that I just got a substance below absolute zero, which would end all thermal energy on the plane... Then demanded XP for all the creatures I had just killed, including the whole party, the BBEG, the Princess, etc....
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Bozwevial June 02, 2009, 05:50:17 PM
Got a mug, and every day would contingencsy spell predigtation to lower the water in it by one degree... we then faced the BBEG, I put down the mug, plane shift followed by quicken create water... the second the mug was filled the DM looked at me and said... "What was the point..." I calmly explained that I just got a substance below absolute zero, which would end all thermal energy on the plane... Then demanded XP for all the creatures I had just killed, including the whole party, the BBEG, the Princess, etc....

How'd you manage that from a different plane? Also, can't you only have one Contingency active at one time?
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: AfterCrescent June 02, 2009, 06:00:23 PM
Yeah, I'm not seeing how that story makes sense/worked...
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Agita June 02, 2009, 06:03:43 PM
Craft Contingent Spell might have worked, though. That also doesn't have a limit on how long it can be inactive.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Kuroimaken June 02, 2009, 06:04:42 PM
Got a mug, and every day would contingencsy spell predigtation to lower the water in it by one degree... we then faced the BBEG, I put down the mug, plane shift followed by quicken create water... the second the mug was filled the DM looked at me and said... "What was the point..." I calmly explained that I just got a substance below absolute zero, which would end all thermal energy on the plane... Then demanded XP for all the creatures I had just killed, including the whole party, the BBEG, the Princess, etc....

How'd you manage that from a different plane? Also, can't you only have one Contingency active at one time?

And it's a personal thing as well... can't have a contingency of a spell you can't cast on yourself.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Bozwevial June 02, 2009, 06:09:06 PM
Craft Contingent Spell might have worked, though. That also doesn't have a limit on how long it can be inactive.

Also has to be cast on a creature. The limit is based on Hit Dice, so...

Edit: Perhaps an Animated Object?
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: The_Mad_Linguist June 02, 2009, 06:15:16 PM
Got a mug, and every day would contingencsy spell predigtation to lower the water in it by one degree... we then faced the BBEG, I put down the mug, plane shift followed by quicken create water... the second the mug was filled the DM looked at me and said... "What was the point..." I calmly explained that I just got a substance below absolute zero, which would end all thermal energy on the plane... Then demanded XP for all the creatures I had just killed, including the whole party, the BBEG, the Princess, etc....
A) Physics wise, that doesn't work.  At all.  It's not even wrong.
B) "Prestidigitation cannot deal damage or affect the concentration of spellcasters"
C) Contingent doesn't work like that
D) It's only chill, not cool by some arbitrary temperature
E) Physics are a house rule anyway, given that in DnD the speed of light is instantaneous.
F) How do you cast it from another plane anyway?


I do, however, concede that it does indeed qualify as a literal interpretation of the thread title.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: BowenSilverclaw June 02, 2009, 06:21:55 PM
I do, however, concede that it does indeed qualify as a literal interpretation of the thread title.

:lmao


: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Vinom June 02, 2009, 06:33:54 PM
Got a mug, and every day would contingencsy spell predigtation to lower the water in it by one degree... we then faced the BBEG, I put down the mug, plane shift followed by quicken create water... the second the mug was filled the DM looked at me and said... "What was the point..." I calmly explained that I just got a substance below absolute zero, which would end all thermal energy on the plane... Then demanded XP for all the creatures I had just killed, including the whole party, the BBEG, the Princess, etc....
A) Physics wise, that doesn't work.  At all.  It's not even wrong.
B) "Prestidigitation cannot deal damage or affect the concentration of spellcasters"
C) Contingent doesn't work like that
D) It's only chill, not cool by some arbitrary temperature
E) Physics are a house rule anyway, given that in DnD the speed of light is instantaneous.
F) How do you cast it from another plane anyway?


I do, however, concede that it does indeed qualify as a literal interpretation of the thread title.

The answer to all those questions can be solved when you understand that our DM didn't have a clue what he was doing, and was trying to railroad a chaotic eivl party into saving the princess... We desided if this didn't work, we'd keep the princess as our own slave...
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: dither June 09, 2009, 07:54:02 PM
My CG Silverbrow human bard called out our party's paladin for torturing a kobold. Before then he'd been violating his code of conduct repeatedly without repercussions, and the other characters were chaotic and/or neutral, and in most cases supported the paladin's cruel actions. When he refused to comply with my demands to cease torturing the kobold, I ran deeper into the dungeon, calling out to the kobolds (in draconic) that we were sure were deeper inside, warning them that an evil, fearsome force was coming to get them.

My bard wasn't terribly intelligent, and I enjoyed repeatedly calling out the paladin on his clearly unjust methods. Anyway, I startled the party so much with my actions (I'd convinced them that the caverns were likely full of kobolds), that they chased my bard down and beat him unconscious. The bard left the party and I handed the character sheet over to the DM and told him I created an excellent background for a future BBEG.

Then I brought in a LN necromancer and showed the party what a real evil character was like. Too bad the game didn't last much longer beyond that point, as I'd just started to really enjoy the reversal of roles -- the paladin, whom I could never definitively prove was violating his code of conduct, now had to deal with my character expertly defending his outlandishly evil actions with superior intelligence.

Yeah, that was pretty damned cool.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: BowenSilverclaw June 10, 2009, 01:14:12 PM
:clap

That was awesome in a can right there :D
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Agita June 10, 2009, 01:23:25 PM
My Silverbrow Human Dragonfire Adept, who is a bit of a Large Ham, was in the forge from the Forgotten Forge Eberron module along with her gang when they heard someone shouting from outside, calling them 'weak fleshies'. Upon hearing this, she climbed out of the hole in the building's roof, bloodsoaked from a run-in with the place's guardians, and started shouting at the warforged outside how he was really the weak one, and laid an Entangling Exhalation on him. The warforged spent nearly all of the upcoming fight trying to break free (our DM houseruled that EE works like the spell Entangle) while my DFA roasted him with impunity and kept raining witty insults on him from the rooftop. Not bad for a level 1 CMoA, I'd say.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: dither June 10, 2009, 02:07:55 PM
My first character in D&D was a 3.0 half-elf bard. I was joining a party for the first adventure in what I would later discover was the Shackled City adventure path. Anyway, we had a scythe-wielding human fighter, a half-orc ranger, and an elf rogue. All the characters already in the party were pretty beefy, and I was coming in with fairly average stats to replace a gnome sorcerer who'd left the party when the player didn't have time to play in the game anymore.

This was before I'd learned any of the "party roles," but I very quickly rose to fill the 'party face' position, because I was constantly in character and talking smack to just about every NPC we ran into. My stats were garbage, and I had a tendency to roll poorly, but I was always able to talk my way around a terrible Bluff or Diplomacy roll. It also quickly turned out that I was the only player with any *real* common sense in the group. Where they would see magic and treachery, I was able to see clever tricks and traps, which, if you've played the Shackled City adventure path, apparently there were TONS.

Anyway, the party never really explained to my character the goals they were trying to meet by their forays into the dungeon. My character was literally going along for the ride, but quickly bonded to the half-orc ranger. At some point, we stumbled across a jail and an outpost with food and wine and ... well, prisoners. My bard, who was at this point used to sitting most of the action out, quickly went for the food and wine, and was toasting our party's success as we were releasing the prisoners from their bonds. One of the NPCs took issue with this, and casually threw a drink in my face after I explained how our party had everything under control.

As she started going off on my bard about the horrible things the prisoners had been suffering, I was laughing his ass off, rolling on the floor (completely unable to take her "insult" seriously), the LAWFUL GOOD half-orc ranger (and my good buddy) came over and backhanded the woman across the room for insulting her rescuers.

Imagine the scene: wine-soaked bard ROFLing, half-orc bitching the prisoner out for being rude to her rescuers.

Anyway, this sparked an argument with the DM, who claimed back-handing the prisoner was in violation of alignment. The argument lasted over an hour, and I think that was the last thing we did that night. All because my bard was just wanted to have a good time!  :smirk I think my character was definitely living the high life of a Chaotic Neutral adventurer. Loud, proud, and hedonistic to the core.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Agita June 10, 2009, 02:29:25 PM
Very nice, dither.

Speaking of first characters, my very first character was a Human Bard. Really basic, PHB-only, and completely unoptimized. In fact, I probably still have the character sheet around. I was playing with other first-timers in a one-shot adventure specifically for inexperienced players. (Although it was PbP, so by the time we finished, all of us had quite a bit of experience already from playing in other games.) The adventure's last encounter. Big Boss at the end of the dungeon crawl. Some dragon-spider-thing none of us had seen before (which later turned out to have been a Blackspawn Stalker from MM IV), along with its minions. Within the first five or six rounds, the Wizard, the Druid, and one of our Fighters all died, leaving me alone with the other Fighter. After the Druid died (who had been a close friend of my Bard), my Bard started using his Feather Token (Whip), which the DM ruled to have constrict, to grapple and pick off (with his rapier) the remaining minion while the remaining Fighter and the BBEG were exchanging blows. After finishing the minion, my Bard summoned a Celestial Badger behind the BBEG to flank with the Fighter + Aid Another, and then made a fruitless attempt at grappling the big thing with his whip. That round, the BBEG reduced the Fighter to exactly 0 hit points.
Next (and last) round. Bard switches tactics, uses whip to Aid Another and has badger Aid Another as well. The fighter, with his last ounce of strength, attacks the beastie with his shiny new to-hit bonus and manages to kill it before dropping to -1 himself and falling over.

Last man standing: The Spoony Bard.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: dither June 10, 2009, 03:25:52 PM
Very nice, dither.

Last man standing: The Spoony Bard.

Many thanks. It looks like your first character has an impressive resume himself.  :D

I played in a BESM game which was "supposed to be" a trope-riffic horror story. The black dude died first, and then the couple who had sex died. I was playing a goth-influenced, Wicca-practicing, genre-savvy lesbian chick who had some klepto tendencies. Every time we came across an interesting item (or a dead body), she picked up some item related to it. By the end, she had shards of glass from a window that had fallen on a dude, one characters (broken) iPod, the preacher's bible and some holy water, and an assortment of other random objects.

Considering how, despite everyone else's attempts to GET THEIR CHARACTER KILLED, I was trying to keep my character alive. I thought I'd at least stick to the "gotta get out alive" mindset that a character ACTUALLY stuck in a horror film would have. Anyway, it was down to me, the jock, and the stoner, and we were confronted by the Big Bad. We fled (as we were supposed to). Sadly, the stoner's foot went through the old wooden stairs and she broke her leg, to be eviscerated only moments later.

The jock and I booked it out of there, and he got "dominated" by a ghost, started walking towards the dude, and I tossed my well-prepared holy water in the ghost's face, disrupting the domination effect. The two of us managed to make it out of the scary mansion. I still had my guitar (which I'd considered using as a weapon on numerous occasions) and the various objects I'd picked up off the characters. The jock and I exchanged awkward hugs, and then vowed to take the jock's motorcycle to the nearest yuppie bar and pick up chicks.

Happily ever after. I hear the DM's got a sequel in the works.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Kuroimaken June 10, 2009, 04:10:13 PM
Very nice, dither.

Last man standing: The Spoony Bard.

Many thanks. It looks like your first character has an impressive resume himself.  :D

I played in a BESM game which was "supposed to be" a trope-riffic horror story. The black dude died first, and then the couple who had sex died. I was playing a goth-influenced, Wicca-practicing, genre-savvy lesbian chick who had some klepto tendencies. Every time we came across an interesting item (or a dead body), she picked up some item related to it. By the end, she had shards of glass from a window that had fallen on a dude, one characters (broken) iPod, the preacher's bible and some holy water, and an assortment of other random objects.

Considering how, despite everyone else's attempts to GET THEIR CHARACTER KILLED, I was trying to keep my character alive. I thought I'd at least stick to the "gotta get out alive" mindset that a character ACTUALLY stuck in a horror film would have. Anyway, it was down to me, the jock, and the stoner, and we were confronted by the Big Bad. We fled (as we were supposed to). Sadly, the stoner's foot went through the old wooden stairs and she broke her leg, to be eviscerated only moments later.

The jock and I booked it out of there, and he got "dominated" by a ghost, started walking towards the dude, and I tossed my well-prepared holy water in the ghost's face, disrupting the domination effect. The two of us managed to make it out of the scary mansion. I still had my guitar (which I'd considered using as a weapon on numerous occasions) and the various objects I'd picked up off the characters. The jock and I exchanged awkward hugs, and then vowed to take the jock's motorcycle to the nearest yuppie bar and pick up chicks.

Happily ever after. I hear the DM's got a sequel in the works.

You DO know that your character's adopted son will be in the sequel, right?  :P

Speaking of first characters, mine was an Elf Rogue. We were low-level, just barely starting in on D&D, and optimization wasn't even a word back then. Anyhoo, the guy who actually OWNED the books played a beefy Greatsword-wielding Fighter, while my character constantly switched weapons around because the DM kept to AD&D rules about which weapons you can/can't sneak attack with. The Fighter liked to play leader, but his suggestions were incredibly inane, so my character constantly bickered with him, and at some points he'd punch my character in the face to get things his way.

Anyhoo, we were in this pocket dimension-thingy, and we run into a dead end with an altar and a button. The Fighter asks me to go press the button, imagining that I'd look for traps (nevermind that my character had no ranks in search, and I didn't care for trapfinding anyway). I warn him that if something bad happens, I'm punching his teeth in.

I get hit by a poisoned arrow (thankfully the DM had no clue how poison was supposed to work either). I calmly walk up to the Fighter, dust his shoulders off, and punch him in the face. Natural 20, confirmed with another natural 20, and Sneak Attack to boot (DM figured Sneak Attack dice multiplied). The DM's response: "You have just lost 4 front teeth and 4 points of Charisma". To which he replied by trying to punch my character in the face and rolling a natural 1.

More dice awesome than character awesome, but still.  :)
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Caelic June 11, 2009, 11:57:25 AM
Then I brought in a LN necromancer and showed the party what a real evil character was like.



Heh.  I once played a LN necromancer in a mostly-evil party.  I went with the "Soulless-Science-For-The-Greater-Good" route--my character was a dispassionate student of death. Think Count Roogna from The Princess Bride.
("Now, remember, this is for science, so: be honest: how did that make you feel?")

The undead I created were masterpieces--bones carefully lacquered, silver wire articulations, the works.  My main gripe with OTHER users of necromancy was that they had no sense of CRAFTSMANSHIP--I couldn't abide sloppy work.

The various evil characters in the party were downright creeped out.  :)
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: dither June 11, 2009, 12:34:38 PM
Heh.  I once played a LN necromancer in a mostly-evil party.  I went with the "Soulless-Science-For-The-Greater-Good" route--my character was a dispassionate student of death. Think Count Roogna from The Princess Bride.
("Now, remember, this is for science, so: be honest: how did that make you feel?")

The undead I created were masterpieces--bones carefully lacquered, silver wire articulations, the works.  My main gripe with OTHER users of necromancy was that they had no sense of CRAFTSMANSHIP--I couldn't abide sloppy work.

The various evil characters in the party were downright creeped out.  :)

That was pretty much my character's approach, except that it was sort of a "cover" for the MANIC GLEE he experienced while taking "acceptable targets" to pieces. He would crow every time an evil creature was pincushioned by magic missile, and would cackle whenever a well-placed fireball went off. He focused on Evocation+Necromancy+Transmutation; his schtick was that he would take things apart and put them back together ... differently. How's that for creepy? I would've loved to pick up animate dead, but, as I said, we didn't make it that far. So I had to leave it pretty much at exulting whenever he destroyed a creature, and had him collect "specimens" (pieces of the bodies, in many, many labeled leather pouches and bags, humours in vials and flasks, etc, etc.) from the fallen enemies.

...

I'm reminded of another campaign where I was replacing another player who'd left. He'd been running a dwarf barbarian who was the party's trapfinder. He'd walk down a corridor and trust that his high Fortitude and hit points would get him through anything. He put the party's rogue to shame. Anyway, the player was also a disruptive asshole, and finally got himself thrown out of the game (by mutual consent, of course). I resolved to play a character more-or-less identical to him, except better.

I made a dwarf fighter with Power Attack+Combat Expertise+Improved Bull Rush+Improved Trip, and I went to town with tripping and shoving enemies around the battlefield. I kept my character's shenanigans to a minimum, however, and spent most of my time deriding the party's paladin for being a pansy in combat. (I have a long, unfortunate history of abusing paladins who're played poorly.)

Now, here's my character's 3rd-level CMoA:
We're hunting down the source of a slew of grisly murders in this temple district, and we hear this awful scraping noise. Immediately, I'm thinking: "It's Pyramid Head." It turns out to be a vampire in full plate with a scythe. "Not so bad, I think," since I know that the DM's probably just throwing some weight around with a high-CR opponent, and I misremembered the vampire's CR as 5 (actually a minimum if CR 7). I wasn't the only one at fault here, because the other players thought we could all take on this crazy, pale, skinny dude in full plate.

Well, thankfully, the paladin got to him first. A lucky blow landed our paladin on his ass with two negative levels. He limped out of the fight while the vampire went for our young charge, a boy named "Timmy," who carried a light for the party and sort of acted as the party's errand-boy. Now, here's where I come in -- the vampire's reached Timmy, and I'm standing right by him. I activate Combat Expertise and Bull Rush the vampire (without a running start) and push him back a whole 10 feet, into the middle of our group.

We all take a turn slashing at the beast, but no one can hit him because he's got a ridiculous AC. He focuses his attacks on me, though thankfully I'm kept safe due to my own increased AC, courtesy of Combat Expertise. So, I drop my axe, which I'd been enjoying up to that point, switch to halberd, and trip his pasty ass (somehow rolling high enough to pull this off). Myself, the rogue, and the favored soul now pound his face in until he can manage to get up without me knocking him down again, and he runs.

After the fight, we went and found the paladin, who'd managed to scamper quite a ways off, and I had a whole new slew of insults for him.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: lotofsnow June 11, 2009, 02:35:40 PM
I used the 4e wizard at-will Thunderwave to launch the party fighter out of the gelatinous cube engulfing the two of us.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: BowenSilverclaw June 11, 2009, 02:47:07 PM
I used the 4e wizard at-will Thunderwave to launch the party fighter out of the gelatinous cube engulfing the two of us.

Nice :D :clap
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: veekie June 11, 2009, 03:37:18 PM
I used the 4e wizard at-will Thunderwave to launch the party fighter out of the gelatinous cube engulfing the two of us.
Fighterdoken!
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: lotofsnow June 11, 2009, 03:50:27 PM
I used the 4e wizard at-will Thunderwave to launch the party fighter out of the gelatinous cube engulfing the two of us.
Fighterdoken!

I had to look that up. I figured we must not have been the only duo to perfect that move. I'd often fling him into oncoming enemies to get the battle started. It was a good pursuit tactic as well. Due to his heavy armor, he found he was often just shy of catching fleeing foes. That's when I'd saunter up behind him and chuck him the rest of the way.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: NecroticBanana July 11, 2009, 07:07:34 PM
I've got a couple of stories, some of you from the old wizards boards might remember them, i posted them there once before...
Ok first story, was our first foray into the 3.0 rules. Our DM started my Orc fighter, and my friend's human paladin as part of a chain gang of slaves belonging to some dragon cultist. They were dragging us thru the desert to uncover some supposed temple, a stone, dome shaped building, they threw us picks and shovels and told us to get to work to uncover a door. well eventually we make it inside and after searching a bit we're attacked by a young adult black (i dunno why black) dragon, eventually the paladin goes down and my orc is becoming fustrated. The DM had already stated that our chains were enchanted and unbreakable, so i decided to go nuts on this dragon and thru several amazing dex checks climbed up this things back and using the unconsious paladin as a counterweight tightend the chains around the dragon's neck and suffocated it to death. Well the DM being petty and spiteful decided to throw an even BIGGER dragon at as and i did the exact same thing, he even attempted tactics on me like the crushing manuver, that a dragon of that catagory isnt even capable of doing. didnt matter....2 dragons, single-handed at LEVEL 1!! he was pissed.

2nd story. (years and years later) We were playing an evil campain i was playing an Hella-necromancer. and we eventually earned ourselves a castle and a huge tract of very good farming land. well i decided that we could make good money as local lords, and sent out thousands of invitations all over the kingdom declaring farmers that they may pick there own choice plots and farm the land for a fraction of the current taxes they were paying blah blah. Half of these were in black envelopes the ther half in red. We had a large garrison of magically desguised undead warriors looking over the fortress in our absensce (we got sucked into ravenloft for a year). We left them with instructions that anyone bearing a red envelope was to be treated fairly and givin anything they needed to start anew, the ones bearing black envelopes were to be locked in the dungeons immediatly and forgotten. Well by the time we made it back we had a very nice bustling community around our lands and were welcomed as heroes. And later that night i privatlly decended into the catacombs to begin preperations on creating my new army. Bwahahahaha
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: BobismyRhino July 11, 2009, 07:49:25 PM
Well, the one campaign where I played a ninja...
(much to AC's and the other players' chagrine) I touched this shiny orb thing that exploded and sent me, as well as the other members of my group into another plane of existence. I think he sent us to the Chaos one. Whatever. After everyone was done screaming at me for being a stupid, selfish idiot (both in game and out), the COOLEST thing happened: we met a baby dragon! We talked to it and played games with it and became friends with it. I think it was a crystal dragon? Might be wrong about that one. But we had to constantly play with it. AC made us laugh so hard. He used this cute little kid voice for the dragon and it was always so excited and the dragon was just too smart for us so it beat us at every game...
Later the mommy or daddy came home (who can tell the difference, really?) and it was pissed but didn't eat us because we promised it treasure (the way to a dragon's heart). It sent us away to get its treasure....The end.

My first druid:
While crawling through some underground tunnels in the middle of BFE, I broke open some closed-off area and managed to find the deck of many things by total accident. With this deck, I managed to get a pimped out estate, I turned into a greedy, badass ethereal halfdragon, and something bad happened but it was inconsequential. I was so happy! My first character managed to be the one and only character that survived that campaign. Since everyone else's characters had died-some, multiple times-we gave up on the campaign. But since I really didn't want that campaign to end, I made AC tell me what happened to my character. According to him, my character and AC's NPC (another halfdragon) ended up living together in the estate I had won. And spent the rest of their years together making awkward halfdragon babies and playing with books and treasure. 

I have also managed to get a raptor as my animal companion. This may not seem like such a big feat, but really, it was. AC was all, "You can't have a dinosaur animal companion because they don't live anywhere near here, blah blah blah!" and I kept whining at him and telling him that I didn't want any of the animals he kept sending my way. Finally he gave in and told me that he was going to roll it. I had a 5% chance of getting the damn dino. He rolled a 99. I named my raptor Squeaker. Boy, could he jump.  :D

I've also managed to have my characters (multiple ones) urinated on by gnomes, and raped by tieflings and dwarves. That's a feat in of itself.

Lastly, one of my druids managed to get a hold of the Wand of Wonder! ...I think that's what it's called. All I know is that I called it that. Man, did I mess stuff up with that thing. It was hilarious. I turned myself into a purple ogre and then sent 70 magic missiles at myself, then got caught in a bubble, made a plant grow on someones head... The battles I had with enemies were no longer serious after I got a hold of that thing. The downside was that I nearly dissintegrated my friend, I banished an NPC to the middle of the world (it was on ACCIDENT!), and I nearly killed us all a zillion and ten times. Good times. Good times.   

Yup. Those are my cool moments.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Vinom July 11, 2009, 09:24:30 PM
I've also managed to have my characters (multiple ones) urinated on by gnomes, and raped by tieflings and dwarves. That's a feat in of itself.
What are the requirements for those Feats?


Warning, very disturbing story, for your safety, do not read sober...
[spoiler]My female Blue mage once convinced a tribe of Kobolds, that virgin sacrifice happened when you sacrificed virginities, not virgins.... an hour later, she had her spells for the day, and half the Kobolds of the tribe were exhausted... That DM neverlet me Role play interactions with NPCs again.[/spoiler]
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: BowenSilverclaw July 11, 2009, 09:27:12 PM
I've also managed to have my characters (multiple ones) urinated on by gnomes, and raped by tieflings and dwarves. That's a feat in of itself.
What are the requirements for those Feats?


Warning, very disturbing story, for your safety, do not read sober...
[spoiler]My female Blue mage once convinced a tribe of Kobolds, that virgin sacrifice happened when you sacrificed virginities, not virgins.... an hour later, she had her spells for the day, and half the Kobolds of the tribe were exhausted... That DM neverlet me Role play interactions with NPCs again.[/spoiler]
Thank got I've had 4 litres of beer :P
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Agita July 11, 2009, 09:28:42 PM
Meh. As disturbing stories go, I've heard better. Or worse, as the case may be. :P
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Vinom July 11, 2009, 09:39:39 PM
Meh. As disturbing stories go, I've heard better. Or worse, as the case may be. :P
You didn't get to hear the high priest getting chewed out by an aspect of tiamat from behind an illusionary wall....
and by chewed out, I mean, lectured, then eaten...
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: BobismyRhino July 11, 2009, 10:14:41 PM
What are the requirements for those Feats?

Heh. You really don't wanna know.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Vinom July 11, 2009, 10:20:33 PM
What are the requirements for those Feats?

Heh. You really don't wanna know.
sure I do, I have a game to get kicked out of...
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Nuntius Mortis July 11, 2009, 10:43:37 PM
Playing a chaotic good halfling rogue, I went into a bank, talked to the guard but out of (my own) stupidity I tried to hide in a bank that was open. I was put in jail but they let me free shortly after because stupidity is not a crime. When I returned to my party and told them the story the dwarf cleric asked me what I tried to hide in the bank in the first place. I convinced him that I was trying to get a nap and then went on that he doesn't understands the halfling ways.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: mbtheory July 21, 2009, 07:37:55 PM
Playing in a modern-day supers game with nougaty Stormwatch flavoring.  I'm running an ill-favored ex-police detective.  We found out that there are people in the world who have a resonant connection with their home countries, and that things that affect these people have a correlating effect on their nations.  We dub these people "National Heroes" for bookkeeping purposes.  Several game sessions later, it becomes necessary to find the National Heroes of Ireland.  They're living in a dirt house with grass growing in the roof, no electricity, no running water.  I set them up with a trust fund.  Several months later, Ireland became an international economic superpower.

Late Victorian-era League of Extraordinary Gentleman style game.  Our intrepid party is still in its formative stages.  The GM is sending us help that will arrive on, and I quote, "a boat that's supposed to arrive today."  We head to the harbor, and find a loud altercation in progress.  Turns out it's between the captain of a particular ship and one of his passengers, and it's over a lizard that the passenger brought on board at the original port of call.  After a few minutes of listening, we find out that the captain is terrified of the lizard and wants more money for having brought the two of them across the sea; apparently he didn't notice the lizard until our passenger--who is definitely the help we're looking for--disembarked.  My character steps forward and gives a congenial, "Well, captain, we'll just take this unseemly gent off your hands for you, and you'll never have to worry about him again."  The captain immediately gets vociferous, starts demanding compensation.  Without changing gears, I reply, "Very well; we'll just leave him and his lizard with you, then."  Captain suddenly didn't have any objections to us taking him without further payment.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Prime32 July 21, 2009, 07:53:19 PM
Playing in a modern-day supers game with nougaty Stormwatch flavoring.  I'm running an ill-favored ex-police detective.  We found out that there are people in the world who have a resonant connection with their home countries, and that things that affect these people have a correlating effect on their nations.
So, what, like Axis Powers Hetalia (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AxisPowersHetalia)? :p
(Also, yay Ireland!)
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Bozwevial July 22, 2009, 12:52:20 PM
Managing to rescue the entire party from what would otherwise have been probable death and/or rape.

You see, the barbarian pulled a Leeroy Jenkins and charged into a mine filled with 80 hostile dwarven creatures. I avoided eventual capture by wild shaping into a mole, then following the (disguised) bard and the dwarves who had taken our companions into a room where they were to be tortured. Presumably.

After the bard had botched an attempt to salvage things, and botched it to the point where he was in combat, I decided that chewing through the ropes was going to take too long, and that my companions were unconscious anyway.

So I turned into a bear.

After scaring the one remaining dwarf out of the room, I proceeded to heal my friends, then block the doorway by virtue of the fact that a) I have three natural attacks, the bard has one and isn't proficient with the weapon he grabbed and b) I'm a fucking bear.

I manage to stall them until the dwarven hierarch arrives and tells us that we may leave without incident if we never set foot in the mines again.

TPK? Averted, thanks to wild shape. (If the DM hadn't been a bit of a jerk in declaring that I couldn't cast Call Lightning underground, despite the spell specifically allowing me to do so, I'd probably have wound up killing all the dwarves before the capture in the first place.)
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Vinom July 22, 2009, 03:43:57 PM
TPK? Averted, thanks to wild shape. (If the DM hadn't been a bit of a jerk in declaring that I couldn't cast Call Lightning underground, despite the spell specifically allowing me to do so, I'd probably have wound up killing all the dwarves before the capture in the first place.)
I remember when I had avoided TPK by taking the shinys and and jumping off a cliff...
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: dark_hound August 02, 2009, 10:22:39 PM
The group was 3rd lvl of a bard(me), druid, fighter, and a cleric.  I was the only male character.

We were adventuring up in the tundra -10 dergees when we come across a river 20ft. across.  For some reason, I forget why, we have to cross it.  The others start to strip and put their clothes in a bag of holding to try to fight off frostbite.  I wait to get a free peep show ;) and then out of the blue remember that I have a swan boat token :D.  I ride to the other side and they're too cold to do anything but warm up and think of revenge.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: kalaskaagathas August 19, 2009, 04:16:37 PM
I was in a KotOR era SWSE game, playing a jedi with a focus on deflecting/redirecting blaster bolts.  Myself and our sneaky force-sensitive Jawa have just begun an encounter with a Sith Lord type guy, inside a small building.  The Jawa managed to shoot our Sithy friend (without his even attempting to deflect/redirect) which gave me an idea.  The rest of our party was outside in our Cool Ship to provide close air support (a tactic which had previously served us very well), so I ran outside, got on my comm-link, and asked them to shoot me with the ship's blasters:
 
"Yes, yes I do want you to shoot me."

"You know, Jedi, I've been secretly hoping you'd ask me to do that."

"Let me refine my request - I want you to shoot me
once."

Our scoundrel of a Captain fires the shot, I roll 'Use the Force' to deflect, succeed, and roll my ranged attack to redirect.  Natural 20.

The Sith Lord couldn't deflect it.  Service Ace, Game, Set, and Match.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Vinom August 19, 2009, 07:10:07 PM
One time, during a one shot campain, the party consisted of a Knight, a Paladin, a Fighter, a Barbarian, and a female rogue(Me) named Katiana... 2 and a half hours in, the knight, the paladin and the fighter both exclamed loud enough to desturb ever game in the convention room "DAMN IT KATIANA, WE ARE NOT YOUR HAREM!"

the barbarian was too busy literally rolling on the floor laughing...
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Generic_PC August 27, 2009, 01:15:35 AM
This happened last session, actually. Here's some story.

My character is a gnome. a colour-obsessed, borderline ADD gnome. You know, like all of them, but worse. Also, an Illusionist banning Evocation (because apparently Illusion sucks that hard that it only takes 1 in this campaign. I wasn't complaining.) The rest of the party is a Wizard who never has any spells, a Scout who is dysfunctional because he seems to be obsessed with being a mixture of Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli (So he carries 4 weapons, and tries to use everyone in a combat) and a crusader. I had recently picked up an artifact which made me have a 50% chance of not casting the spell I was casting, but doing something else. Similar to a toned down rod of wonder. on a 100 it did a rediculously better spell, depending on the situation. I don't know the specifics, only that it was absolutely redonkulous.

We come back to a town after clearing out their kidnapping monkey problem, and the guy isn't paying us what we want. Everyone gets all macho, but them I'm all like 'don worry, I got it.' I go to make a colour spray, and end up doing a Prismatic spray, dealing a pile of acid damage to our guy, and turning both his guards to stone. He calls the guards, everyone around me is flabbergasted, including myself. This gnome is like 'Yes, colours do own.' The guards run in, and I do it again. but this time, prismatic wall. Apparently 9/10ths of the guards disappear, and the other ones surrender. A more surprised DM I've never seen. The DM switchs this redonkulous hat for a rod of wonder, because he decides that it is less damaging in the hands of an ADD sufferer.

More the DMs fault than my awesomeness, but he rolled the dice, and the fact that he got those two spells, the continuation of the colourful theme, was a surprise.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: GrandLlamaQ September 16, 2009, 06:20:59 AM
I've got two to share:
First up was an old Half-Orc Barb, very standard and boring. Running a low level campaign. We ran into this underground market that was deserted, and my Barbarian immediately notices the weapons rack, goes to inspect it and gets caught in an electrified cage. After shocking himself down to about 2 HP trying to break out, he waits for the others to get him out, only to realize the rest of the party is being attacked by bandits...and losing. At which point he looks around, realizes he's close to a potato cart, and using his javelin, spears a potato, pulls it into the cage and hurls it at a Bandit.
Natural 20. Natural 20.
The group laughed for about five minutes before we continued, and my Barbarian decided that since it worked so well he'd keep doing it.
Five minutes later, the party is heavily wounded, but all the bandits are dead.
And thus was born the legend of Thrudd the Spud-chucker.

This one is the whole party working together fairly awesomely I think:
A little later, we're hiding out in a bar as a town is getting raided, when some bandits burst into the bar and we kill them in two rounds. The DM, being a little spiteful, decides to dig out a 7th level Red Wizard of Thay and two Minotaurs to go up against our 2nd Level characters.
So we hear cheering from outside as the bandits glorious leader enters the bar, and demands we lay down our arms or we'll end up slaves. And to demonstrate his seriousness, he fries an NPC to cinders with a Wand.
Me: So...he used a wand?
DM: Yes.
Me: So he pointed the wand at her, right?
DM: [Waiting for me to get to the point] Yes.
Me: I take a swing at his arm.
Roll. 20. Confirm. 20. His arm falls to the floor, blood flying everywhere. Thrudd kicks the arm over to the Wizard who uses the wand to fry the Minotaur. Other Minotaur fails a save against a Scroll of Hold Person the Cleric found and gets dispatched. Thrudd walks over to the screaming Red Wizard, rips off his robes and gear, lops off his other arm and legs, then opens the door to the bar and hurls his naked limbless torso into the street. Less than a minute after the Red Wizard entered the bar, the Bandits were heard fleeing into the night.

I think what makes that story great is imagining from the point of view of the Bandits. They watch their friends go into a bar, hear fighting, friends don't come out. Glorious leader arrives with his fearsome Minos, strolls confidently into the bar...and less than a minute later, comes flying out of the door of the bar nude, with no arms and legs. Hilarious.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Kuroimaken September 16, 2009, 07:53:11 AM
I've got two to share:
First up was an old Half-Orc Barb, very standard and boring. Running a low level campaign. We ran into this underground market that was deserted, and my Barbarian immediately notices the weapons rack, goes to inspect it and gets caught in an electrified cage. After shocking himself down to about 2 HP trying to break out, he waits for the others to get him out, only to realize the rest of the party is being attacked by bandits...and losing. At which point he looks around, realizes he's close to a potato cart, and using his javelin, spears a potato, pulls it into the cage and hurls it at a Bandit.
Natural 20. Natural 20.
The group laughed for about five minutes before we continued, and my Barbarian decided that since it worked so well he'd keep doing it.
Five minutes later, the party is heavily wounded, but all the bandits are dead.
And thus was born the legend of Thrudd the Spud-chucker.

This one is the whole party working together fairly awesomely I think:
A little later, we're hiding out in a bar as a town is getting raided, when some bandits burst into the bar and we kill them in two rounds. The DM, being a little spiteful, decides to dig out a 7th level Red Wizard of Thay and two Minotaurs to go up against our 2nd Level characters.
So we hear cheering from outside as the bandits glorious leader enters the bar, and demands we lay down our arms or we'll end up slaves. And to demonstrate his seriousness, he fries an NPC to cinders with a Wand.
Me: So...he used a wand?
DM: Yes.
Me: So he pointed the wand at her, right?
DM: [Waiting for me to get to the point] Yes.
Me: I take a swing at his arm.
Roll. 20. Confirm. 20. His arm falls to the floor, blood flying everywhere. Thrudd kicks the arm over to the Wizard who uses the wand to fry the Minotaur. Other Minotaur fails a save against a Scroll of Hold Person the Cleric found and gets dispatched. Thrudd walks over to the screaming Red Wizard, rips off his robes and gear, lops off his other arm and legs, then opens the door to the bar and hurls his naked limbless torso into the street. Less than a minute after the Red Wizard entered the bar, the Bandits were heard fleeing into the night.

I think what makes that story great is imagining from the point of view of the Bandits. They watch their friends go into a bar, hear fighting, friends don't come out. Glorious leader arrives with his fearsome Minos, strolls confidently into the bar...and less than a minute later, comes flying out of the door of the bar nude, with no arms and legs. Hilarious.
Absolutely fucking awesome. AND LOL-worthy.  :lmao
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: veekie September 17, 2009, 05:42:22 AM
Dis-armed and de-feeted, always a favorite.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Khorus September 18, 2009, 05:32:01 PM
In a Pathfinder societies game I bull rushed a mud hut and dropped it on a bunch people with leporosy. :) Then I raged power'd into goku, jk on the last part.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: altpersona October 06, 2009, 03:36:11 PM
3.5/pathfinder game

our party, all ecl 4

ogre paladin (plans to fall to blackguard later)
dragonborn (custom creation, not sure of class now that i think about it)
human paladin
human wiz
helf sorc3/barb1 (me)

we arrive at destination. ruined keep. a few skelletal giants in the courtyard, all dead, none undead.. couple hundred years ago the giants attacked the keep, it seems no one cleaned up..

we have two 'large' companions.. who needs doors.. we go over a wall... rather onto a wall..

so i says, hey hike me up to that window in whats left of that tower..

me on draco on ogre, in window.. sit in window, look around.. ick, a rotten body in the middle of the room strapped to some lumber. and a green glowy light behind it.

first things first, i aint going in that room...

cast a spell, im wearin some light armor, make my fail check easy.. cast mount. i encourage the pony i summoned to walk around the room.. nothin.. a couple rounds later after making sure nothing is interested in the pony i dismiss it..

'hey, throw me a rope' i says... i pull out my hand of the mage, and tie the rope to the body/wood... pull the rope tight.. hold rope, jump down from window... make a strength check to keep holding rope as the anchor moves.. give rope to largers and down comes baby cradle and all... paladin - detect evil - nope.

'hoist me back up!', grab ledge, hoist up, the ledge grabs back :( or rather a couple hairy arms grab back..

grapple checks, 22 vs 30 i loose... and in i go... another round/grapple check and i find im pinned by a minotaur. minotaur has a buddy, a bugbear.. who casts blindness on me.. yip, failed save.. on the next availible opportunity, the bugbear applies a significant amount of pressure to my head w/ his morning star... natural 20(confirmed). my buddy the dragonborn is just making it into the room when my head comes off..

draco does something, i forget what, and dives backwards out the window once he sees my head fly off..

he has glide vice fly, so he coasts down to the ground..

about 6 or 8 rounds later.. im still doornails.. along with minotaur, bugbear, couple worgs, hand full of gobs, and a manticore..

the human wiz, lvl 4, had the most body count thanks to flaming sphere... i think the count was 8? mostly gobs though...

really, i cant help but think that if i hadnt dismissed the pony, i probably would have lived..
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: Giblets October 29, 2009, 06:45:25 AM
Fist character I ever played was an 8th level fighter4/bard 4. I was joining the rest of the game and the dm and other party members were finishing up from where the last session left off. They put me in front of that really crap 3.0 character gen and told me it would help me make my character, when I asked what were my most important abilities they replied strength, cha, con, and dex. So not knowing the rules I proceed to jack up my abilities to Str 84, Dex 92, Con 95, Int 78, Wis 82, and Cha 94.

The real kicker is the DM didnt't review my character sheet, so later in the session the party gets split up while trying to solve a maze with a series of puzzles in it. Well I end up finding the exit wich led to a devils lair where the rest of the party was trapped in cages. I enter combat with the devil and after my insane init roll the DM finally asks to see my char sheet, glancing over he begins to chuckle and hands it back to me and we resume combat. So my first character saves the party going toe to toe with a fairly high level devil. After whipping the snot out of it the DM explains that he didnt think the maze was hard enough to trap all the players but one and that since it was his slip up that my stats were jacked all to hell that he allowed it so that the encounter wouldnt turn into a tpk.

Needless to say I rerolled a new char immediately. This one a Rogue Barbarian.
: Re: The "Coolest Stuff You've Done In-game" thread.
: bihlbo October 31, 2009, 08:18:15 PM
I was playing a lich channeler (http://darknessfalls.leaderdesslok.com/class_channeler.htm) in the Midnight (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inL9D2-3eAA) setting. We entered a huge, abandoned keep and got set to spend the night there. Being a lich, I spent the night in study, trying to learn a new spell from a book I got out of a bad guy's chambers.

Spiders started crawling under the door, so I ordered my undead minion to seal the door behind me, and I ordered my familiar to feast on the spiders still in the room. I went to investigate, bringing my pack with me (in it I had scrolls, potions, and most importantly, my lorebook containing virtually all my character knew, secret or otherwise).

I eventually ran into the vampire master of the keep and politely introduced myself. He was pissed. Turns out the artefact I kept with me that surpressed the undead's violent urges to maim and kill all living things had removed his desire to drink the blood of the living too, and he wanted it back. He liked it.

I tried instead to make him an ally, attempting to convince him that our fight against the dark god was one that would benefit him as well, and that I would be leaving in the morning. He sent his giant spiders after me. They weren't much of a challenge, but they did web me up pretty good.

Ignoring my distressing situation, I continued trying to get him to join us. That's when he spotted my lorebook sticking out of my pack. He demanded it in return for my freedom and I declined, so he attacked. First with lightning, then with cold rays, while his spiders tried to stab me. The GM had forgotten lich properties (immune to lightning and cold, and DR 15/bludgeoning and magic) so I bluffed that the spells were tearing me up. I told him I was bluffing about something, but not about what, and the vampire kept rolling poorly.

"How's he look?" I asked.
"Quite spent," the GM replied. "He also looks surprised, because really, you took on some powerful spells. Holy crap you have a lot of hit points."
"Yeah, sure do," I said dismissively. "I ready an action to cast the spell I have written on this card as soon as he's in range to touch. Bluff save so he doesn't know that's my plan."
The GM rolls, then, "Failed again! The vampire says, 'I tire of this' and swoops in to grab your pack that contains your lorebook," he said ominously.
"Does a 23 hit his touch AC?" I asked after rolling. "Good, he's been hit with a heal spell."

"Oh." Crestfallen, he continues, "The vampire swoops away with your pack and coughs, looking hurt."
"I say, 'You shouldn't have done that. I could have used a minion like you.' 29 still hits his touch AC right? A bolt of blue and black energy shoots out and crushes the vampire's chest. I cast disrupt undead."
Another player chimes in, "Wait that's a 0-level spell right? What the hell?"
"Yes, it's a 0-level spell," I reply. "It does 1 point of damage."
"The vampire," the GM continues, "shrivles into a pile of dust."
Everyone woops, laughing that the vampire lord of this keep was killed by such a lowly spell. "So how long will it take you to heal up after that epic fight anyway? He threw everything he had at you," the GM asked.
"Maybe you should look at my character sheet."

We all thought it was pretty hillarious.