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Author Topic: 6 amazingly high tech ancient weapons: Cracked article  (Read 2119 times)

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PhaedrusXY

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6 amazingly high tech ancient weapons: Cracked article
« on: August 17, 2010, 12:55:29 PM »
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[spoiler]
Quote from: Lycanthromancer on September 12, 2011, 09:40:53 PM
A couple of water benders, a dike, a flaming arrow, and a few barrels of blasting jelly?

Sounds like the makings of a gay porn film.
Quote from: borsniel on September 12, 2011, 11:28:16 PM
...thanks
[/spoiler]

archangel.arcanis

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Re: 6 amazingly high tech ancient weapons: Cracked article
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2010, 01:08:59 PM »
well there goes my day.
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veekie

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Re: 6 amazingly high tech ancient weapons: Cracked article
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2010, 02:43:29 PM »
China - Ancient Superweapon Origin
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The mind transcends the body.
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Quote from: Soda on July 22, 2009, 02:48:16 PM
"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

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awaken DM golem

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Re: 6 amazingly high tech ancient weapons: Cracked article
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2010, 05:58:56 PM »
Niice.

The Crossbow fires 10 bolts in 15 seconds. That's 4 per D&D Round.
It's "just" a Masterwork weapon. I've got some magic around here somewhere.

Flamethrower = Alchemy

Fireworks Rocket says: "Packed with 750g of gunpowder and weighing five to 10 kilograms, one of these missiles could cruise up to a mile and a half."
The range is Carnivore-esque. The damage should be Hulking-Hurler-esque.

Land Mines = Alchemy

The Claw = Telekinesis with an expensive material component.

The Mega-Boat ... boring ... Tsuyo Crafted a Star Destroyer, didn't he?
 :D
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Prime32

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Re: 6 amazingly high tech ancient weapons: Cracked article
« Reply #4 on: August 23, 2010, 06:26:49 PM »
I'd heard of those dragon rockets that breathe rockets before. Those had to be terrifying to fight.
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The tier system in a nutshell:
[spoiler]Tier 6: A cartographer.
Tier 5: An expert cartographer or a decent marksman.
Tier 4: An expert marksman.
Tier 3: An expert marksman, cartographer and chef who can tie strong knots and is trained in hostage negotiation or a marksman so good he can shoot down every bullet fired by a minigun while armed with a rusted single-shot pistol that veers to the left.
Tier 2: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything, or the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.
Tier 1: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything and the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.[/spoiler]

veekie

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Re: 6 amazingly high tech ancient weapons: Cracked article
« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2010, 02:29:58 AM »
IIRC, the accuracy was pretty terrible(you're shooting a missile that shoots missiles), but for shock and awe it's pretty impressive, and when the rockets hit...well that was impressive too.
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The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

Quote from: Soda on July 22, 2009, 02:48:16 PM
"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."

JohnnyMayHymn

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Re: 6 amazingly high tech ancient weapons: Cracked article
« Reply #6 on: December 22, 2010, 05:51:19 AM »
I actually just read this the other day... gotta love explosives made from animal guts

corpse crafter + explosive runes = naval mine ???



EDIT: whoops, I read this one
http://www.cracked.com/article_18880_7-insanely-advanced-weapons-history-somehow-forgot-about.html
« Last Edit: December 22, 2010, 05:52:56 AM by JohnnyMayHymn »
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Shadowhunter

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Re: 6 amazingly high tech ancient weapons: Cracked article
« Reply #7 on: December 29, 2010, 11:33:51 PM »
...now I just have to equip my Kobolds with homemade flamethrowers. I MUST.

I knew of these before, but the Flamethrower still looks pretty badass. Saw it on television about a year ago I think. Or possibly two.
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Quote from: Operation Shoestring on November 08, 2009, 03:11:54 AM
I often have to remind people not to underrate divination.  The ability to effectively metagame without actually metagaming beats the ability to set things on fire more times than not.
[/quote]
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konner09

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Re: 6 amazingly high tech ancient weapons: Cracked article
« Reply #8 on: January 04, 2011, 12:07:40 AM »
Lol that is all
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[spoiler] Every generation has a teen heartthrob made for 16 and Tiger Beet magazine.

You can go back many years and there was a guy named Donny Osmond who probably every male teenager wanted to kick the crap out of. Leif Garrett, David Cassidy, The Mmm Bop kids, Justin timberlake, on and on.

This Bieber kid is just another of many over-hyped kids created? by the music machine geniuses to give them someone to grace the covers of 16 magazine and to get little teen girls excited. Random Youtuber [/spoiler]

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