More Things That Make You LOL

[BobismyRhino]

This guy that's been stalking me for YEARS called me again. I was in a weird mood so I answered the phone and started fucking with him.

Short version: I told him I was engaged and pregnant.

He got a little annoyed that I wouldn't cheat on my fiance with him. I should've told him that my fiance was a big angry bisexual black man. That would've sent him over the edge. He's so racist and homophobic. Too easy to fuck with, really.

He doesn't know where I live, thank god! And he doesn't know which city I'm in at the moment-I'm very nomadic, you see.

But it took all my strength to not start laughing as I was feeding him bullshit. After he abruptly hung up, I burst out laughing and felt the need to share his idiocy with you. 

[altpersona]

while i imagine that would be very enjoyable...

the nagging adult side of me says you need to handle your end better.

antagonizing the mentally unstable is not generally advised.

[InnaBinder]

[Ruam]

Hahaha! I love weebl stuff. That song's amazing, btw.

Favorite part:

Shut up woman! Get on my horse!


...And yes it's replaced the All hail oppai. Definitely on repeat in my head.

BLASPHEMY!

Extended version! (no video though)

[Nanshork]

Hahaha! I love weebl stuff. That song's amazing, btw.

Favorite part:

Shut up woman! Get on my horse!


...And yes it's replaced the All hail oppai. Definitely on repeat in my head.

BLASPHEMY!

Extended version! (no video though)

I prefer Grandma's Cheese!

[bhu]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0cI7hxWwgU
old but classic

[BobismyRhino]

while i imagine that would be very enjoyable...

the nagging adult side of me says you need to handle your end better.

antagonizing the mentally unstable is not generally advised.

I totally agree with you. But see, I figure if I make myself seem really undesirable, I won't be turning him down. He, instead, will be turning ME down and thus not going psycho on my ass because I don't want him... It's been 3+ years of him calling and me not answering his calls or telling him that I was seeing someone and no, I wouldn't make out with him. I might just change my phone number and be done with it. He's really starting to wear on my nerves and I might just scream at him if he calls again. 

Exhibit X of why I don't kiss/sleep around/anything remotely sexual with random people.
I'm a one person at a time sorta girl. For now, AC's brain is all the brain I have time to control. 

[CountArioch]

I would have called the police.

[McPoyo]

I would have called the police.

This ^

Restraint injunctions are super cheap nowadays. Easy way to solve the problem.

[Kuroimaken]

Seconded.

Still, having the ability to fuck with your stalker's brain requires some serious willpower. I salute you.

In the meantime, being careless enough to do so is very worrisome, so I scold you.

Consider yourself saluted with a slap to the back of the head, then. 

[altpersona]

i second kuro's salute.

the kinison method of breaking up requires more extreme methods than just being slightly unappealing. you would have to try harder.

[BobismyRhino]

 
I dunno. I want to say he's not dangerous, but you never know with crazy/awkward people.  I've never really said, don't call here again to him... mainly because if he really is unstable, I don't want to set him off. I feel bad for him, but at the same time, I can't respect a guy that would tell me to cheat on someone I love.

I guess I'll threaten him with the police the next time he calls. I know there will be a next time. To quote one of my favorite villians: "he's like a turd that won't flush."

I wish I could help him, but as the movie Patch Adams taught me, sometimes crazy people will kill you. So police it is! Problem is that he blocks his number. I used to have his number on my phone before he started blocking it, but then my phone was destroyed and I lost all my contacts. (but he doesn't know that. I could tell him I have his number...)

I don't even have a last name for him, so that's really not helping me out. What would I say to the cops? "Uh, hi... There's this guy that's been calling me sporadically for years begging for a hook up... and I'd like it to stop? No, I don't have his phone number. No, I don't have his last name..."

Yeah, I think that's why I haven't called the cops yet.

I'm going to have to see if I wrote his number down anywhere else. I'm not worried either way. He's forgotten my last name, I've given him a fake last name, he doesn't know where I live, he doesn't know what city I'm in, and I could take him on a one-on-one fight. Short of him having a firearm and knowing how to use it, I think I'm okay.



 

[McPoyo]

I dunno. I want to say he's not dangerous, but you never know with crazy/awkward people.  I've never really said, don't call here again to him... mainly because if he really is unstable, I don't want to set him off. I feel bad for him, but at the same time, I can't respect a guy that would tell me to cheat on someone I love.

I guess I'll threaten him with the police the next time he calls. I know there will be a next time. To quote one of my favorite villians: "he's like a turd that won't flush."

I wish I could help him, but as the movie Patch Adams taught me, sometimes crazy people will kill you. So police it is! Problem is that he blocks his number. I used to have his number on my phone before he started blocking it, but then my phone was destroyed and I lost all my contacts. (but he doesn't know that. I could tell him I have his number...)

I don't even have a last name for him, so that's really not helping me out. What would I say to the cops? "Uh, hi... There's this guy that's been calling me sporadically for years begging for a hook up... and I'd like it to stop? No, I don't have his phone number. No, I don't have his last name..."

Yeah, I think that's why I haven't called the cops yet.

I'm going to have to see if I wrote his number down anywhere else. I'm not worried either way. He's forgotten my last name, I've given him a fake last name, he doesn't know where I live, he doesn't know what city I'm in, and I could take him on a one-on-one fight. Short of him having a firearm and knowing how to use it, I think I'm okay.

If he has your number, he can figure out where you live and everything else of relative import using the internet, look-up websites, and county records databases. I used to do it for a living, trust me.

Also, the police can request his number from your cell-carrier's database if they have to do an investigation if you give them a copy of your cell bill with the call log attached from it.

[CountArioch]

I'll contact my brother, but he knows stuff like this, and it's impossible to block a number in a way you can't override it.

[McPoyo]

Use Trap Call, for instance, to block them out.

Alternatively, contact your phone carrier, and let them know an unidentified number keeps calling and harassing you, and that you want their number added to your block list. If you give them the time and date stamps of his calls, they can do it internally.

[Bloody Initiate]

Design a computer virus for cell phones that makes them overheat and explode... then give your secret admirer a call... nah, I wish the most fun and appropriate solutions were more doable.

[McPoyo]

Design a computer virus for cell phones that makes them overheat and explode... then give your secret admirer a call... nah, I wish the most fun and appropriate solutions were more legal.

fixed for truth

[Prak, the Mad]

Seconded.

Still, having the ability to fuck with your stalker's brain requires some serious willpower. I salute you.

In the meantime, being careless enough to do so is very worrisome, so I scold you.

Consider yourself saluted with a slap to the back of the head, then.  

So... a tip of your hat and a wag of your finger?

Bimr, it's also, of course, always possible to go along with his request in word, saying "yeah sure, hey! I don't have your number anymore, could I get it so I can call you sometime? Oh, and what's your last name anyway?" and then immediately go over to the local police department.


Other things that make me lol: Pastafarianism.... I know everyone else has probably had their lols over it a long time ago, but I only just looked it up (I was wondering if wanting to eat the flying spaghetti monster would be blasphemous)

[Bloody Initiate]

Seconded.

Still, having the ability to fuck with your stalker's brain requires some serious willpower. I salute you.

In the meantime, being careless enough to do so is very worrisome, so I scold you.

Consider yourself saluted with a slap to the back of the head, then. 

So... a tip of your hat and a wag of your finger?

Bimr, it's also, of course, always possible to go along with his request in word, saying "yeah sure, hey! I don't have your number anymore, could I get it so I can call you sometime? Oh, and what's your last name anyway?" and then immediately go over to the local police department.

That's a potentially dangerous bluff and just as much a gamble.

One of the things that will turn someone onto you more than anything is the belief that you're interested.

[McPoyo]

Seconded.

Still, having the ability to fuck with your stalker's brain requires some serious willpower. I salute you.

In the meantime, being careless enough to do so is very worrisome, so I scold you.

Consider yourself saluted with a slap to the back of the head, then.  

So... a tip of your hat and a wag of your finger?

Bimr, it's also, of course, always possible to go along with his request in word, saying "yeah sure, hey! I don't have your number anymore, could I get it so I can call you sometime? Oh, and what's your last name anyway?" and then immediately go over to the local police department.

Just make sure before you go to the police, or any other law enforcement, that you have specifically told him to "Do not contact me anymore". Without those words, they won't be able to do anything until he contacts you again after that point. Same with a restraint injunction.