More Things That Make You LOL

[bhu]

Knowing Japan?
More than enough to sustain a small but thriving market.

Yeah but I meant in the US? 

"Good evening sir! That's two bottles of Astroglide, Busty Women from Mars, and..."

"Dude seriously we stock these as a joke"

 

"I'd rather you didn't look at me that way sir..."

[EjoThims]

My parents bought my sister one as a joke for her 16th birthday.

Wrapped it with all the other presents and she opened it up in front of all of her friends.

I love my parents. 

[Kuroimaken]

My parents bought my sister one as a joke for her 16th birthday.

Wrapped it with all the other presents and she opened it up in front of all of her friends.

I love my parents. 

Wait. Fleshlight or vibrator? 

[EjoThims]

My parents bought my sister one as a joke for her 16th birthday.

Wrapped it with all the other presents and she opened it up in front of all of her friends.

I love my parents. 

Wait. Fleshlight or vibrator? 

Hello Kitty vibrator.

[veekie]

My parents bought my sister one as a joke for her 16th birthday.

Wrapped it with all the other presents and she opened it up in front of all of her friends.

I love my parents.  

Wait. Fleshlight or vibrator?  

Hello Kitty vibrator.

Those be some seriously fucking awesome parents.

More lulz, less risque

www.ryanair.com

Source

[Risada]

...Don't we need to make a new thread for this? Like, since 2 or 3 pages ago?

Anyway...

I LOL'ed. Hard.

And for those into it, look for the other programs as well. They're awesome 

[Prime32]

I LOL'ed. Hard.

And for those into it, look for the other programs as well. They're awesome  

I've already seen the one where Kyon Ragna Tomozaku Sugita keeps shouting "HARDCORE! HARDCORE!" at random intervals.

[Kuroimaken]

Brazillian president, Lula, is talking to the African president about stuff the Russians left behind for them.

"Oh, we learned a lot from the russians. Thanks to them, we have nuclear power plants, vodka, and russian roulette."

Lula frowns. "Russian Roulette is so risky..."

"I know! That's why we invented African Roulette. Wanna play?"

"I don't know. How is it explained?"

The African president claps his hands and six gorgeous, naked women come in wiggling their butts arounds.

"Choose one of them to fellate you."

"That's WAY better than Russian Roulette!"

"Just so you know, one of them is a cannibal."

In my version of the joke? All of them are.

[Agita]

Is it weird that I found the funniest part to be that Lula's only objection to russian roulette seems to be that's it's risky?

[Kuroimaken]

Is it weird that I found the funniest part to be that Lula's only objection to russian roulette seems to be that's it's risky?

Considering what an incompetent president he is, not really.

[Ruam]

I'll simply have to find a reason to tell that joke to my friends tomorrow...

A favourite of mine

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
[Spoiler]Fish  [/spoiler]

[Nanshork]

Pfft.  You want jokes?

What's brown and sticky?
[spoiler]
A stick.
[/spoiler]

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
[spoiler]
A fsh.
[/spoiler]

I can't remember any more.   

[Agita]

Let's jump off the slope into Dead Baby Comedy territory, shall we?

What's worse than seven babies in a garbage can?
[spoiler]One baby in seven garbage cans.[/spoiler]

[Sinfire Titan]

Pfft.  You want jokes?

What's brown and sticky?
[spoiler]
A stick.
[/spoiler]

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
[spoiler]
A fsh.
[/spoiler]

I can't remember any more.   

What do you call a black man flying a plane?

[spoiler]A pilot, you racist.[/spoiler]

[Nanshork]

Woo, dead baby jokes.

What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls?
[spoiler]
You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
[/spoiler]

[Ruam]

What is the difference between a dead baby and a mailbox?

[Spoiler]If you had to click this box I am so not sending you with any letters [/spoiler]

[Kuroimaken]

What is the difference between a lighter and an asshole?

[spoiler]If you don't know, you might wanna learn soon. Otherwise you'll offer your asshole the next time someone asks for a light![/spoiler]

[wotmaniac]

What is the difference between a lighter and an asshole?

[spoiler]If you don't know, you might wanna learn soon. Otherwise you'll offer your asshole the next time someone asks for a light![/spoiler]

and your point would be? 

[Kuroimaken]

What is the difference between a lighter and an asshole?

[spoiler]If you don't know, you might wanna learn soon. Otherwise you'll offer your asshole the next time someone asks for a light![/spoiler]

and your point would be? 

That the original joke sounds better in Portuguese.
[spoiler]There's a double-meaning in that the original joke uses the verb give instead. In Portuguese, to give one's asshole equates soliciting sodomy.[/spoiler]

[wotmaniac]

What is the difference between a lighter and an asshole?

[spoiler]If you don't know, you might wanna learn soon. Otherwise you'll offer your asshole the next time someone asks for a light![/spoiler]

and your point would be?  

That the original joke sounds better in Portuguese.
[spoiler]There's a double-meaning in that the original joke uses the verb give instead. In Portuguese, to give one's asshole equates soliciting sodomy.[/spoiler]

Oh, never mind.  I had pictured something more like this:
other guy: "hey, you got a light?"
me: "sure" *puts ass in face*
other guy: "hey what are you doing?"
me: *rips a horrendous fart* "there you go"
(kind of a play on the old Steve Martin bit about sitting on a plane when the guy next to you asks if you mind if he smokes, and you reply with asking if he minds if you fart)

but, I guess I got it all wrong