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Author Topic: Wish Granted!  (Read 148206 times)

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Agita

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #940 on: October 16, 2008, 11:52:48 AM »
Wish granted. As you are on your way to a press conference where you're going to reveal the secret, you are mugged and shot.

I wish for more originality in the twisting of wishes.
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It's all about vision and making reality conform to your vision. By dropping a fucking house on it.

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Elennsar

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #941 on: October 16, 2008, 02:46:01 PM »
Wish granted! Unfortuantely, your death is the price that the demon Murphey demands in order to ensure more amusing twists.

I wish that the guy who drew Calvin and Hobbes was president of the United States.
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Faith can move mountains. It still can't deflect bullets.



"Communication with humans." is a cross-class skill for me. Please bear this in mind.

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #942 on: October 16, 2008, 02:55:42 PM »
Granted!  Bill Waterson is now president of the United States.  Onfortunately, his awesome skills as a comic book writer do not help him to better our economy.  Sadly, he's way to busy doing president-things to even consider starting his comic back up again.

I wish I didn't have so much cake.
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My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Elennsar

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #943 on: October 16, 2008, 02:57:20 PM »
Wish granted! You are forever without cake.

I wish that someone would find a fantasy race even more annoying than Kender.
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Faith can move mountains. It still can't deflect bullets.



"Communication with humans." is a cross-class skill for me. Please bear this in mind.

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #944 on: October 16, 2008, 03:34:05 PM »
Wish granted!  Let me introduce you to the kender/kobold-were rat.

I wish I had more cake.
Logged
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Prime32

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #945 on: October 16, 2008, 04:45:50 PM »
Quote from: RobbyPants on October 16, 2008, 03:34:05 PM
I wish I had more cake.
Wish granted, but you can't have your cake and eat it too.

I wish to be an emoticon.
Logged
My work
The tier system in a nutshell:
[spoiler]Tier 6: A cartographer.
Tier 5: An expert cartographer or a decent marksman.
Tier 4: An expert marksman.
Tier 3: An expert marksman, cartographer and chef who can tie strong knots and is trained in hostage negotiation or a marksman so good he can shoot down every bullet fired by a minigun while armed with a rusted single-shot pistol that veers to the left.
Tier 2: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything, or the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.
Tier 1: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything and the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.[/spoiler]

TheWordSlinger

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #946 on: October 17, 2008, 02:13:40 AM »
Wish granted.  :grave

I wish for an animal companion.
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Chemus

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #947 on: October 17, 2008, 02:50:06 AM »
Wish Granted! Your three-toed-sloth animal companion hampers your movement and has green algae in its fur. Neato!

I wish that I could control flames without them touching me.
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The freely downloadable and searchable 3.5 SRD I prefer (Web)
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InnaBinder

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #948 on: October 17, 2008, 02:57:42 AM »
Quote from: Chemus on October 17, 2008, 02:50:06 AM

I wish that I could control flames without them touching me.
Wish granted!  You're a firehose.

I wish my roommate's HDTV and amazing sound system weren't along an adjoining wall to my room.
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Winning an argument on the internet is like winning in the Special Olympics.  You won, but you're still retarded.

I made a Handbook!?

Elennsar

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #949 on: October 17, 2008, 03:03:46 AM »
Wish granted! He moves them into your room.

I wish that I could sing.
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Faith can move mountains. It still can't deflect bullets.



"Communication with humans." is a cross-class skill for me. Please bear this in mind.

Vynar

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #950 on: October 17, 2008, 07:01:37 AM »
Granted but you may never speak.

I wish that Stargate SG1 was real.
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RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #951 on: October 17, 2008, 10:48:05 AM »
Granted.  Earth is once again subjegated by a very powerful race pretending to be Egyptian gods.

I wish I knew what to wish for.
Logged
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Kai

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #952 on: October 24, 2008, 12:26:13 AM »
Wish granted! You know exactly what to wish for. In fact, you have crafted the most ingeniously perfect wish that has ever been dreamt up. But to share it? Are you crazy? Then other people could use it, and it's yours. Don't sacrifice the genius and purity of your wish like that.



I wish I could make the elevator arrive faster by pressing the button more often.
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"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ~Mahatma Gandhi

Elennsar

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #953 on: October 24, 2008, 12:34:35 AM »
Wish granted! However, because you pressed it so fast, it goes off again before you can board it. You wind up having to wait just as long.

I wish that Bill Gates wasn't a telepathic alien monster.
Logged
Faith can move mountains. It still can't deflect bullets.



"Communication with humans." is a cross-class skill for me. Please bear this in mind.

Chemus

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #954 on: October 24, 2008, 02:56:41 AM »
Wish Granted! He's native.

I wish that I won the Powerball jackpot as a sole winner this week.
Logged
*waves hand* This is not the sig you're looking for...
The freely downloadable and searchable 3.5 SRD I prefer (Web)
Camlen, Enniwey

Elennsar

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #955 on: October 24, 2008, 02:57:41 AM »
Wish granted! However, your ID is stolen so someone else gets the money.

I wish that I could fly like a bird.
Logged
Faith can move mountains. It still can't deflect bullets.



"Communication with humans." is a cross-class skill for me. Please bear this in mind.

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #956 on: October 24, 2008, 03:56:58 PM »
Wish granted.  Good luck on the landing part...

I wish I weren't so freaking hyper right now.
Logged
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Risada

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #957 on: October 24, 2008, 05:15:20 PM »
Wish granted! Suddenly you feel so weak that you can't even stand up.

I wish I had people to playtest my homebrew.
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InnaBinder

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #958 on: October 24, 2008, 05:26:50 PM »
Quote from: skydragonknight on May 22, 2008, 06:26:22 PM
Quote from: Stratovarius on May 22, 2008, 05:45:50 PM
I wish to own a giant pile of flawless diamonds.

A giant pile of flawless diamonds falls on top of you and kills you. Within the pile are legal documents that back up your claim of ownership. Unfortunately, you're still dead.

I wish the cake was not a lie.
The cake is not a lie.  As an odd side effect, everything the Sage ever said is suddenly true also, although none of the Sage's words change.  Also, the Frosting is a lie.
I wish they hadn't changed my headache medicine to prescription-only.
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Winning an argument on the internet is like winning in the Special Olympics.  You won, but you're still retarded.

I made a Handbook!?

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #959 on: October 24, 2008, 05:52:48 PM »
Quote from: Risada on October 24, 2008, 05:15:20 PM
I wish I had people to playtest my homebrew.
Wish granted.  Too bad they don't have any dice.

Quote from: InnaBinder on October 24, 2008, 05:26:50 PM
I wish they hadn't changed my headache medicine to prescription-only.
Wish granted.  Now, with it over the counter, everyone buys out the stock and there's none left.

I wish I didn't have a bunch of chores to do.
Logged
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]
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