It's the Friendly Fractal Fruit Farmers Fall sale! All ghasts MUST GO! (enc)

[Kuroimaken]

A voice echoes from seemingly nowhere. "T-minus 60 seconds to detonation. Estimated range: four miles."

[VennDygrem]

Hoping his companions can hear him, Talon shouts, "There's no way we can escape the blast! We have to take this thing down NOW! So get your asses back here!"

[The_Mad_Linguist]

Stop being cowards, you cowards!  Let's just take this guy out before it's too late!

Look, see that I am punching the raw energy right out of it!  It is not inevitable!

[Risada]

Hoping his companions can hear him, Talon shouts, "There's no way we can escape the blast! We have to take this thing down NOW! So get your asses back here!"

Stop being cowards, you cowards!  Let's just take this guy out before it's too late!

Look, see that I am punching the raw energy right out of it!  It is not inevitable!

Ghiktibur roars to his valiant friends:

"If I die here, you two will be the first I will haunt!"

[Kuroimaken]

Despite not having supernatural powers to speak of, Ghiktibur's manliness oozes in the form of a red-like aura, for coolness purposes. And he also hears a theme song play in his head.

[PhaedrusXY]

The battle cries of his companions make Kyx pause, and before the door closes his metal body says "Very well. No doubt I will survive this foolishness, even if none of you do. But I will do my best to help you survive as well."

Then after a flash of energy, he reappears high in the air above the gigantic skeleton, and begins plummeting towards the ground.

[spoiler]Teleport (std action) high enough that it will take a round or two to fall, and pull out a shrunken boulder (move). Also active his Divine Companion (Swift Action) to gain +4 to AC and saving throws for 7 rounds.[/spoiler]

[Flay Crimsonwind]

"Four miles? Yep, we're pretty fucked. We might as well make sure that smug bastard goes down with us. Fly me towards that asshole!" Zane seems incensed to take out the bomb and do something violent to the two-faced asshole.

[Prime32]

"Four miles? Yep, we're pretty fucked. We might as well make sure that smug bastard goes down with us. Fly me towards that asshole!" Zane seems incensed to take out the bomb and do something violent to the two-faced asshole.

"We... we can make it!" Eren says rather unenthusiastically.

Seeing Zane glare at her, she hesitates and drops him.
"Sorry. You can try if you want, but I'm not sticking around for this."

[The_Mad_Linguist]

Are you really going to leave now?  After all the good times we had together?

[PhaedrusXY]

As he plummets towards the ground like a metallic comet, Kyx says "I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice...

Get away from the skeleton." He tells his companions via the Message spell.

He reaches and tears off what looks like a robe made of patches, and tosses it out to the side of him.

Then as he falls past it, he casts Dispel Magic, centered on the patchwork robe.

Nine boulders and an enormous amount of molten lava immediately appear, all of which begin hurtling downward toward the giant skeletal time bomb like a great meteor shower. Kyx himself continues to fall alongside it, his iron face unreadable.

[spoiler]Since I wanted to be high enough for him to be able to cast a spell before he splats on the ground, he'd have to be higher than 200 feet up when he does this. So that's 36d6 damage per boulder that hits. Total immersion in lava is 20d6 per round, also, and having a bunch of lava fall on you from that height should hurt like hell just from the weight, I'd imagine... The lava takes up a total volume of 220 feet, and weighs about 40,000 lbs, for reference.

I'm not sure what kind of range (and other) penalties we're looking at on attack rolls for this. We're going to have to make it up, I suppose.

Attack (straight 1d20 with no modifiers, BAB, etc) and damage rolls for the boulders:
1d20=18, 36d6=122, 1d20=6, 36d6=132, 1d20=10, 36d6=128, 1d20=13, 36d6=130, 1d20=14, 36d6=115, 1d20=7, 36d6=125, 1d20=17, 36d6=137, 1d20=4, 36d6=127, 1d20=20, 36d6=129

His ranged attack rolls should be at +8 vs. this guy normally (4bab+2dex+2KnowDevotion).[/spoiler]

[The_Mad_Linguist]

Sabot readies to dimension door out of the way.

[Kuroimaken]

To summate the experience: rocks fall, the giant black skeleton dies.

The long version: you know what it's like in cartoons when someone realizes there's a huge shadow above them, looks up and suddenly realizes something's about to fall down on them?

Let's just say the skeleton might have briefly remembered what it was like to have a digestive tract so it could crap itself.

Sabot manages to get away in the nick of time.

Meanwhile, Matsuko looks pretty exhausted from her own side of the fight. That's when something blazes off in the distance and you guys hear a distinctive theme song playing in the background.

As in, literally.

It's then you realize there are three guys in Japanese high school uniforms with red ribbons strapped to their arms cheering for the blaze off in the background. How or when they got there is anybody's guess.

The blaze in the distance twinkles, and falls down towards the giant skeleton the Baron is riding like a comet. A man's voice shouts out:

"Otokorashii Ryuu Kyuukoku Ougi: MUGEN PAAAAAAAAAAWNCH!!!"

The baron hirself flies off and lands a few hundred feet away from where there's now a crater in the ground.

And Matsuko sweatdrops. "Fuck. Fuck. FUCK! Of all the reinforcements they could have possibly sent me - THEY HAD TO SEND FUCKING MUGEN!!"

[The_Mad_Linguist]

That voice... where have I heard that voice?

[VennDygrem]

Surveying the damage from a distance, Talon produces a long whistling sound, despite the fact that you're all fairly sure he doesn't even have any lips. "Daaaaaaaaaaamn..."

In retrospect, all Talon really did, effectively, was fire a laser-pointer at the creature. Hardly effective except as a way of highlighting what's already there.

"Well... Now what?"

[The_Mad_Linguist]

Sabot looks over the arrival more intently and facepalms.

Oh great.  It's him.  Mu "Mr. Manly Muscles" gen.  A hero in his own mind, a boorish bruiser of unprecedented ignorance, leader by longwinded lectures, and probably not actually paying attention to anything other than the tone of my speech, assuming I'm just praising his virtues.  Look at that faraway stare.  He's probably composing his next heroic introduction with an internal monologue, and is completely oblivious to the outside world.  

[skydragonknight]

Shock of recognition flooded Paul's eyes.

"Oh! It is ze man who paid me to make ze chocolate Formian! Did you like how ze dish turned out?"

[Flay Crimsonwind]

Zane was casually walking back over towards Matsuko, reloading his gun, and checking the rifle in general. The magelocks weren't supposed to have any issues post-firing, but if normal guns exploded after firing shots like that, he would want to make sure his was in top condition. After considering the Freudian connotations of his action descriptions, he asked, "So, is he alright, or do we shove a few rounds up his ass too? Man wearing that outfit, he'd probably enjoy it.

So, what do we do with the ugly tranny that just got knocked off it's massive bone?"

[Kuroimaken]

"Wherever innocents cry, I will be there to lend my shoulder! Wherever evil abounds, there shall be my fists of justice! Wherever--"

Mugen's speech is cut short by a grenade lobbed his way by Matsuko.

"CUT THE BULLSHIT AND HELP ME TAKE THIS ASSHOLE INTO CUSTODY!"

Coughing up smoke and looking comically burnt, Mugen replied, "Awww, don't be like that, Matsuko-chan! Loosen up! Put on a chainmail bikini like the other female adventurers! I know you've got a great p--"

A barrage of bullets flew his way, making the man dance in place.

"--alright, alright, I'll stop! Geez!!"

Mugen looked relatively tallish. He had long, wavy blue hair. His torso was naked, despite not displaying a muscle tone defined enough to justify it. Strangely, on his arms he wore black sleeves which ended in a pair of fingerless leather gloves. Upon his back was a massive blue cape with a stylized flame design on it. The cape's collar was high, not unlike a vampire's. He also wore a pair of dark blue hakama, the same hue as his cape, and a pair of steel-toed leather boots. At his waist were a pair of katanas - one with a white handle and green scabbard, and the other with a green handle and white scabbard. Over his right eye was an eyepatch with a skull motif.

"...would you be so kind as to lend me a bit of your attention?"

With that, Baron Ashura fired a black-purpleish ray of energy towards Matsuko's back. Apparently, she was so distracted by Mugen that she let her guard down.

"HEY YOU!! WE WEREN'T DONE TALKING!!"

With that, the eyepatch's skull opens its mouth with a ghastly moan, its eyes lighting up in red.

"Attacking a lady from behind is INEXCUSABLE! I will NOT stand idly by and tolerate this! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!"

The themesong picks up again as the trio of odd male cheerleaders pick up their pace.

[PhaedrusXY]

Kyx, amazed that he's already been forgotten after making such a large crater, transforms himself into a hang glider and flies down to the ground.[spoiler] Alter Self: animated object (hang glider)[/spoiler]

[The_Mad_Linguist]

He's always like this.  Except when he goes off his decaf.  Then he's worse.


Sabot flies 20' over the baron, then glitterdust (DC 17)s so it hits both of them, voluntarily failing his own save vs. blindness.  If he had to see those cheerleaders doing their overchoreographed routine one more time, he'd kill them.  Or himself.