Optimaztion Challenge: Douchey-DM

[Archao]

...

If my druid dies then I am going to come in as some sort of unkillable useless guy 

...

I suggest being RPing a useless rich bastard with a cohort who fights for you. Treat everyone in the group like they are your servants.

Practical? No. Mildly amusing? Yes.

[Korwin]

Useless Guy
Medium-size Male Human
Monk3

Hit Dice: (3d8)+3 
Hit Points: 16 
Initiative: +2 
Speed: Walk 40' 
AC: 25 (flatfooted 23, touch 23)
Attacks: *Flurry of Blows +0/+0; *Unarmed Strike +2; ; 
Damage: *Flurry of Blows 1d6; *Unarmed Strike 1d6; ; 
Vision: Normal 
Face / Reach:  5.0 ft. / 5 
Special Qualities: AC Bonus (Ex), Calming Aura ~ 20' r. Will save DC 11 or affected by calm emotions., Endure Elements (Ex), Evasion (Ex) ~ No damage instead of half damage on successful save, Fast Movement (Ex), Flurry of Blows (Ex), Nonviolent ~ +4 save DC to your spells cast vs humanoids or monstrous humanoids if spell does not deal damage., Still Mind (Ex) ~ +2 save vs. enchantment 
Saves: Fortitude: +4, Reflex: +5, Willpower: +5 
Abilities: STR 10 (+0), DEX 14 (+2), CON 12 (+1), INT 13 (+1), WIS 14 (+2), CHA 10 (+0) 
Skills: Appraise 1; Balance 10; Bluff 0; Climb 6; Concentration 1; Diplomacy 6; Disguise 0; Escape Artist 8; Forgery 1; Gather Information 0; Heal 2; Hide 2; Intimidate 0; Jump 12; Listen 2; Move Silently 2; Ride -3; Search 1; Sense Motive 2; Spot 2; Survival 2; Swim 6; Tumble 10; 
Feats: Combat Expertise, Deflect Arrows, Improved Grapple, Improved Unarmed Strike, Sacred Vow, Vow of Nonviolence, Vow of Peace, Vow of Poverty 
Challenge Rating:  3 
Alignment:  Lawful Good

[McPoyo]

Should choose Stunning fist. If he makes the attempt for nonlethal, he gets the +4 from VoN, so he at least has one schtick up his sleeves.

[Havok4]

Should choose Stunning fist. If he makes the attempt for nonlethal, he gets the +4 from VoN, so he at least has one schtick up his sleeves.

But the point is to be useless and with that he might be marginally useful some of the time.

[McPoyo]

Should choose Stunning fist. If he makes the attempt for nonlethal, he gets the +4 from VoN, so he at least has one schtick up his sleeves.

But the point is to be useless and with that he might be marginally useful some of the time.

Could only use it against the party frenzied berserker to end the frenzy...that would be pretty useless.

[Mixster]

I suggest going paladin.

Anything he wants you to do, just reply, that is outside my code of conduct, I will not do it, I will meditate on what to do instead.

Pretty much anything can be argued to be outside of the code of conduct. Since anything can be argued as being evil

A powerful character? Hell no! A fun character? Hell Yes!

I do nothing because man is evil, I'm a man, so if I did anything it'd end up evil.

Apathy-Paladin FTW.

[McPoyo]

Too bad you have to be human. A Warforged doing that 24 hours a day would be damned hilarious.

[Viletta Vadim]

...

Or, you could actually try and work with the DM to solve the real problem at work, here.

[fuinjutsu]

...

Or, you could actually try and work with the DM to solve the real problem at work, here.

this *is* the internet....

That said, yes, it would be a good idea to sit down with the DM and explain that "i hit it" every round is boring, and you need some real character options.

[skydragonknight]

On a side note, 25 AC, Evasion and the fastest speed in the party would give you one use: you're the guy who sets off traps.

[dna1]

The monk looks good 


and we all have tried talking to him, but he says "when I DM its my way, when you DMs its your way," and he doesnt think our way is as fun blah blah blah
I dont hate him, hes a good guy to know. but he isnt listening to our points because we are all in our 20's i think. and hes like i said 40-ish L/G fire fighter. he just doesnt respond to words.
so i want to show him.. with your help. that his rules dont make the game any better
thanks for the input... i will keep you posted. feel free to post me some more incredible builds, my friend the warblade is destined to die by next game. he narrowly got away this time. lol

[Solo]

What level is the warblade? Because I think it's time for either a good helping of Iron! Heart! Surge! or White! Raven! Tactics!

If you're going to go out, at least go out with a bang.

[jojolagger]

What level is the warblade? Because I think it's time for either a good helping of Iron! Heart! Surge! or White! Raven! Tactics!

If you're going to go out, at least go out with a bang.

Spellbook filled with explosive runes?

[something random]

(Sorry if you have already tried this) Instead of getting your current character killed, try to get the arm you lost back. Even if your no one in the party is high enough level to cast Regenerate and your GM has ruled that you do not know about it. It almost seams ridiculous that your character would not have heard of the incredible things powerful divine magic can do.

[Littha]

What level is the warblade? Because I think it's time for either a good helping of Iron! Heart! Surge! or White! Raven! Tactics!

If you're going to go out, at least go out with a bang.

Spellbook filled with explosive runes?

I actually had a player who did this, spent every spell slot he had for the whole adventure casting explosive runes on a book and being generally useless.. .until he threw it at the BBEG and blew him up... and the party

[Solo]

Was everyone in a 10 ft radius?

[Littha]

he was stood next to a supporting beam

[BowenSilverclaw]

Ouch...

[Archao]

For getting a new arm, look into the Mighty Arms graft (Faiths of Eberron p158) It is magical, so may not be allowed, but it will turn your rogue into a Bionic Commando.

[Bastian]

For getting a new arm, look into the Mighty Arms graft (Faiths of Eberron p158) It is magical, so may not be allowed, but it will turn your rogue into a Bionic Commando.

If the DM doesn't want him to have that arm, he isn't going to let him get it back (or at least not for very long).