Zach was quickly becoming tired of his "disguise," and could see that the penis competition was already underway. Slowly he moved forward in the line, calm, slow, and obvious. In an attempt to buy time, he started to speak. "Now now, we can resolve this easily enough. All he has to do is break the curse, and cease his activity with the stone. After all this time, I'm sure that someone with as much power and backing as you, Jimmy, has more than researched the stone into oblivion, and that it's no longer necessary, correct?"
Jimmy: "MWUHAHAHA!! FOOL! Allow me to explain why you are wrong!"
Karl: "Uh sir, soliloquizing to the enemy is a sign you have no professionalism..."
Jimmy: "You weren't hired to think or give advice Karl, now hush real people are talking."
Karl: "It's a good thing your Uncle is paying us serious money."
Jimmy: "Now where was I...oh yes. Long ago there was a God named Benny. Benny had been promoted to Deity status, and became the God of Fear. He figured it was the first of many steps towards dominion of this realm but he had to figure out how to replace his boss first, and the Laughing Man is mighty hard to put down. So he made this stone here. The stone is somewhat hypnotic and can drive people mad, but that's merely to make them open to suggestion. With enough will you can contact it's creator or take control of the stone itself. See Benny wanted to make an army. He figured more worshipers equals more power, so he could use this to make them. He got spanked by the man upstairs pretty hard for it, so he gave up the idea. And it's just been a legendary cursed rock until my Uncle found it and had me research it's abilities. See we have a few ambitions of our own, and we decided this rock was a nice way to make them happen.
The rock can be used to change people. That's what we did to your boys Sebastian. See you need to rape the innocent to live, but what you don't know is your balls now carry the seed of a God. You've impregnated everyone you slept with, and when they give birth nine months from now their children will be self aware servants of their dark master, who has graciously consented to allow us to use them as it furthers his own goals. And if you die you'll just resurrect as undead monsters. We do the same with everyone who isn't able or isn't worth using as carriers. Between the new race of Godchildren and the Undead we raise we should be able to take the Flying City, which is a key step to taking over the rest of the world. Then we just backstab Benny, and take his place among the deities once we get what we want. He takes the fall for leaving us a weapon to exploit, we get control of the world, and we'll even be generous enough to agree to work with the Jester to keep our position since we'll have enough muscle to bargain. And since no one knows about it we're sure to succeed."
Karl facepalms
Karl: "Sir, you just told them almost everything..."
Jimmy: "Well yes but that's cause we;'ll be killing them before they can put it to use."
Karl: "You really have no experience at this do you?"
Sebastian:
"So you're saying there is no cure for this?"Jimmy: "No you and the zombies can go request a Miracle from some cleric or other, and if their God is willing to help you it'll be fixed. You'll just owe them a favor. Karl, I'm gonna go tap some more ass, call me when everyone is dead."
Jimmy leaves, and Karl looks at you uncomfortably.
Karl: "Somedays I just hate this job. Awright people you heard the man. I gotta kill you so we may as well do this."
Initiative rolls may begin for the forthcoming fight now so we can get them out of the way. Also if anyone has diplomacy/bluff/intimidate to do nows the time.
