Grapple rules are not so bad. Maybe you need it reexplained to you?
1. Declare to wish to grapple.
2. Provoke an AoO for said claim.
3. Foe rolls his attack compare vs your AC.
4. If he hits, the foe rolls damage.
5. Also if he hit the grapple failed, repeat from above.
6. Make a touch attack, compare to foe's AC.
7. If you didn't hit, fail and repeat from above.
8. Roll your grapple check (bab+str+bonuses+the size bonus the DM will tell you).
9. Foe rolls his, if he wins the grapple failed, repeat from number 1 again.
10. Congrats you are now holding him for one (or less) rounds so he has no dex to ac and cannot move away.
11. If the foe has a turn after yours, repeat steps 8 & 9.
12. On your next round, move into your opponent's square provoking AoOs from everyone (but the grabbed foe).
13A. Still in the grapple? You can make an attack, but only if it's a light weapons and you have -4 to your attack roll. Hope he had more than 18 dex...
13B. If your foe fails against your grapple check (opposed to his check) then you 'pin' him preventing speech and preventing him from attacking you back.
Did that help? I know it did me.
Now you know what to do, and that is to leave those rules the heck alone.
Me and grapple have gotten along great ever since ^_^