Have you considered making just tables of pure mechanical traits and then adding fluff to whatever comes out? Like roll for damage (from 1d3 to 2d6), crit type (18-20/x2 to 20/x2 to 20/x4), and damage type (bludgeoning, piercing, slashing, or roll again and add types together). Of course that doesn't account for special properties like reach or tripping ability, but you could get a lot of "weapons" out of it and then explain that the 1d3 20/x2 bludgeoner weapon you just drew was a rat-flail, while your 2d6 18-20/x2 was swinging around a piano.