Author Topic: Craft (Ass) and Other Insanity  (Read 5745 times)

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BowenSilverclaw

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Re: Craft (Ass) and Other Insanity
« Reply #20 on: November 29, 2009, 07:51:17 AM »
Nice :D
"Weakness? Come test thy mettle against me, hairless ape, and we shall know who is weak!"

Quote from: J0lt
You caught a fish.  It was awesome.   :lol

McPoyo

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Re: Craft (Ass) and Other Insanity
« Reply #21 on: November 29, 2009, 11:43:14 AM »
That would actually be

Perform( Surgery)
So a Bard could Inspire Courage by performing a boobjob? :lol
I don't know, a nice set of boobs always inspires me. With the absolutely ridiculous checks a bard can pull, they'd look and feel more real than real boobs, and would eventually cause outsiders to petition him to perform on them, so...

Plausible.
[Spoiler]
A gygaxian dungeon is like the world's most messed up game show.

Behind door number one: INSTANT DEATH!
Behind door number 2: A magic crown!
Behind door number 3: 4d6 giant bees, and THREE HUNDRED POUNDS OF HONEY!
They don't/haven't, was the point. 3.5 is as dead as people not liking nice tits.

Sometimes, their tits (3.5) get enhancements (houserules), but that doesn't mean people don't like nice tits.

Though sometimes, the surgeon (DM) botches them pretty bad...
Best metaphor I have seen in a long time.  I give you much fu.
Three Errata for the Mage-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Barbarian-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Monks doomed to die,
One for the Wizard on his dark throne
In the Land of Charop where the Shadows lie.
[/spoiler]

BowenSilverclaw

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Re: Craft (Ass) and Other Insanity
« Reply #22 on: November 29, 2009, 11:58:02 AM »
That would actually be

Perform( Surgery)
So a Bard could Inspire Courage by performing a boobjob? :lol
I don't know, a nice set of boobs always inspires me. With the absolutely ridiculous checks a bard can pull, they'd look and feel more real than real boobs, and would eventually cause outsiders to petition him to perform on them, so...

Plausible.
I guess it could certainly cause 'morale' to rise...[/James Bond-esque one-liner]
"Weakness? Come test thy mettle against me, hairless ape, and we shall know who is weak!"

Quote from: J0lt
You caught a fish.  It was awesome.   :lol

McPoyo

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Re: Craft (Ass) and Other Insanity
« Reply #23 on: November 29, 2009, 12:01:01 PM »
That would actually be

Perform( Surgery)
So a Bard could Inspire Courage by performing a boobjob? :lol
I don't know, a nice set of boobs always inspires me. With the absolutely ridiculous checks a bard can pull, they'd look and feel more real than real boobs, and would eventually cause outsiders to petition him to perform on them, so...

Plausible.
I guess it could certainly cause 'morale' to rise...[/James Bond-esque one-liner]
Hmm, would that allow you to qualify for multi-weapon fighting? :P
[Spoiler]
A gygaxian dungeon is like the world's most messed up game show.

Behind door number one: INSTANT DEATH!
Behind door number 2: A magic crown!
Behind door number 3: 4d6 giant bees, and THREE HUNDRED POUNDS OF HONEY!
They don't/haven't, was the point. 3.5 is as dead as people not liking nice tits.

Sometimes, their tits (3.5) get enhancements (houserules), but that doesn't mean people don't like nice tits.

Though sometimes, the surgeon (DM) botches them pretty bad...
Best metaphor I have seen in a long time.  I give you much fu.
Three Errata for the Mage-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Barbarian-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Monks doomed to die,
One for the Wizard on his dark throne
In the Land of Charop where the Shadows lie.
[/spoiler]

Prime32

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Re: Craft (Ass) and Other Insanity
« Reply #24 on: November 29, 2009, 02:31:28 PM »
That would actually be

Perform( Surgery)
So a Bard could Inspire Courage by performing a boobjob? :lol
I don't know, a nice set of boobs always inspires me. With the absolutely ridiculous checks a bard can pull, they'd look and feel more real than real boobs, and would eventually cause outsiders to petition him to perform on them, so...

Plausible.
"Oh yeah, I'm seeing Mystra later today, Lloth on Thursday, and Fharlagn sometime next June. ...Yeah, I don't know either."
« Last Edit: November 29, 2009, 02:36:39 PM by Prime32 »
My work
The tier system in a nutshell:
[spoiler]Tier 6: A cartographer.
Tier 5: An expert cartographer or a decent marksman.
Tier 4: An expert marksman.
Tier 3: An expert marksman, cartographer and chef who can tie strong knots and is trained in hostage negotiation or a marksman so good he can shoot down every bullet fired by a minigun while armed with a rusted single-shot pistol that veers to the left.
Tier 2: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything, or the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.
Tier 1: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything and the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.[/spoiler]

BowenSilverclaw

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Re: Craft (Ass) and Other Insanity
« Reply #25 on: November 29, 2009, 02:48:23 PM »
:lol
"Weakness? Come test thy mettle against me, hairless ape, and we shall know who is weak!"

Quote from: J0lt
You caught a fish.  It was awesome.   :lol

Surreal

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Re: Craft (Ass) and Other Insanity
« Reply #26 on: November 29, 2009, 03:44:33 PM »
I wasn't in on this game, but I'm friends with a bunch of kids playing at university and through their usual blundering tactics it fell upon the one female PC (being played by the DM's gf) to seduce a noble and get information out of him. At the pivotal moment
DM: ok, make a roll to see if you manage to seduce the noble
gf: wtf? I'm going to unbutton by blouse. There's a DC for that?
slight pause from everyone in the room
DM: *shrug* works for me!
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Sooner

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Re: Craft (Ass) and Other Insanity
« Reply #27 on: November 30, 2009, 01:58:53 AM »
I wasn't in on this game, but I'm friends with a bunch of kids playing at university and through their usual blundering tactics it fell upon the one female PC (being played by the DM's gf) to seduce a noble and get information out of him. At the pivotal moment
DM: ok, make a roll to see if you manage to seduce the noble
gf: wtf? I'm going to unbutton by blouse. There's a DC for that?
slight pause from everyone in the room
DM: *shrug* works for me!

Hehe Funny story, our BSF was tired of having nothing to do all day. (The cleric prayed and read books, the ranger took up woodworking, I(the rogue) was helping a girl look for a cat, and our Sorc was at work so he sat in the room asleep or something. Anyways after taking up fishing repeatedly stumping a DM with proper checks and prices for fish (and declaring results more than once which led to him catching the occasional shoe) he decided to go to a bar. At said bar he meets a chick and long story short he made a 11 charisma check and she made a 10 wisdom check and slept with him. Our DM fought tooth and nail to guide the situation away from this but ended up announcing himself as "the worst DM ever" which is far from true but certainly hilarious.

Also taking about Bards and seducing a friend played a bard who used alter self to look like a "pretty boy" and then seduced a king and got him to announce his love in front of the court. score one for toppling a kingdom without swinging a sword once.