words
Ok, honestly, I stopped reading when I'd read about Tenser's Transformation the second time. Sorry, Khorus, that's a lot of info, but it seems dated.
It's a good start, even if its a little old.
JPM was missed, just because we all know about it don't make it exempt.
Jade Phoenix Mage (tome of battle)
Requirements: Concentration 9, Knowledge(arcane) 2, Knowledge(religion) 2, Knowledge(history) 2, know two maneuvers one of which is a strike, know a stance, able to cast 2nd level spells.
Good: Full BAB, 8/10 spell casting couple with free empower & quicken spell, maneuvers.
Bad: Only d6 for HD, limited to two schools of maneuvers and one of which deals fire damage.
Lead ins
A single level dip into and ToB base class will meet the marital requirements. Ultimatly though I suggest over looking the Swordsage in favor of either the Warblade or Crusader for the BAB advancement. Warblade offers the swift action recovery which really can be used any time you choose to cast a spell, but Crusader start out knowing Devoted maneuvers so you can qualify for the better Devoted maneuvers easier.
Dipping
JPM should be taken for a minimum of four levels which will give you free empower spell once per encounter at no cost. By the 4th level you'll would have lost a level in spellcasting but you can make up the cl loss though one of the class's stances. Also you can spend a spell to gain DR (x2 spell level)/Evil which is handy against all noninterplanar monsters.
The 5th grants an extra maneuver know and stance so it can be worth going in that far. Since the 6th level does not advance spell casting I don't suggest taking it unless you're going JPM all the way.
Examples
Sorcerer 5 / Crusader 1 / Jade Phoenix Mage 4 / Abjurant Champion 5 / Ruathar 3 / Mindbender 1 / Jade Phoenix Mage +1
Only loses two levels of spellcasting but has a BAB of 15, access to 7th level maneuvers, and the ever useful mindsight.
Sorcerer 5 / Crusader 1 / Jade Phoenix Mage 4 / Abjurant Champion 4 / Jade Phoenix Mage +6
Instead of going into Ruathar for a skills boost and going mindbender for mindsight. This build is pure gishness. It nets 17 BAB and 9th level maneuvers making it a more directly powerful option for combat, however you'll lose three levels of spellcasting and thus no 9th level spells. Using the wizard instead of Sorcerer would remady this problem though Wizard isn't as good of a choice.
Bard 8 / Crusader 1/ Anything 1 / Sublime Chord 1 / Jade Phoenix Mage +9
Makes a very interesting alternative. At the 9th level you can pick up Song of the White Raven allows you to use Inspire as a swift action letting you flame on some dragonfire inspiration while you beat down your enemies. Shame JPM don't advance bardic music though.