More Things That Make You LOL

[CountArioch]

You know, the more I think of it the more justified I find Twilight.

Vampires in modern culture are about unrestrained sexuality.  Twilight is basically a retelling of the same stories that have been told by Hollywood and literature for some time now, except in a way that teenaged girls (and women who never grew up) can understand.

I don't particularly care for the movies and books though.  But I at least see where they're coming from.

You do realize that at least on some levels Twilight is Mormon propaganda right?

You realize that at some level, everything that has ever been written by anyone is propaganda for whatever school of thought they espouse, right?

[AfterCrescent]

So that got me thinking: okay, so vampire female fans want to be fucked in the neck?

It all makes sense now.

[McPoyo]

You know, the more I think of it the more justified I find Twilight.

Vampires in modern culture are about unrestrained sexuality.  Twilight is basically a retelling of the same stories that have been told by Hollywood and literature for some time now, except in a way that teenaged girls (and women who never grew up) can understand.

I don't particularly care for the movies and books though.  But I at least see where they're coming from.

You do realize that at least on some levels Twilight is Mormon propaganda right?

You realize that at some level, everything that has ever been written by anyone is propaganda for whatever school of thought they espouse, right?

I had found one before the first movie came out that actually drew a perfect parallel. Nothing was out of line, or a remote stretch. I'll have to see if I can locate it again.

[Kuroimaken]

I once asked an online friend of mine what was it about vampires that appealed to women so much.

She basically replied that vampires are a no-frills masculine figure that could take whatever it wanted by force without actually hurting, and that the whole act of blood-sucking was an allusion to penetration - essentially, causing pain and pleasure at the same time on a tender spot.

So getting bit in the neck doesn't hurt?
I hope your friend will forgive me for not wanting to try that out.

Personally, I like this interpretation best.
[spoiler][/spoiler]

She drew a parallel about the strength of vampires being subtle enough that they could just pin you down without actually straining themselves before they got whatever they wanted out of you. Besides, according to plenty of vampire myth, the "kiss" is actually as pleasant as it's supposed to be painful, so... *shrug*

And yeah, that used to be my interpretation too, but them wanting to be fucked in the neck makes more sense to me. After the boob-job and the armpit-job, the neck-job!

[Bauglir]

vampire stories have a long history of appealing to the lesser gender.

dracula was a love story. featuring a vampire.

twilight is the high fructose corn syrup of vampire stories.

the only saving grace being the Kevin Smith angle.

Hey, Dracula was awesome! We're talking about the book, right?

[altpersona]

i didnt say anything bad about drac, just that it set the pace for most future vamp stories to appeal primarily to chicks. yes, the book.

[Ruam]

When are people going to realise it ?! There is not a single vampire in the Twilight books, they have sparkly, meterosexual superheroes with eating disorders. A vampire is the ultimate perversion of nature, a creature of the night cursed to live on even in death, preying upon the living. The ... things in Twilight can be summed up with this and this (though they call them vampires, that is wrong on so many levels).

[BowenSilverclaw]

When are people going to realise it ?! There is not a single vampire in the Twilight books, they have sparkly, meterosexual superheroes with eating disorders. A vampire is the ultimate perversion of nature, a creature of the night cursed to live on even in death, preying upon the living. The ... things in Twilight can be summed up with this and this (though they call them vampires, that is wrong on so many levels).

They also call the sparkly protagonist dude a vegetarian

[Kuroimaken]

When are people going to realise it ?! There is not a single vampire in the Twilight books, they have sparkly, meterosexual superheroes with eating disorders. A vampire is the ultimate perversion of nature, a creature of the night cursed to live on even in death, preying upon the living. The ... things in Twilight can be summed up with this and this (though they call them vampires, that is wrong on so many levels).

They also call the sparkly protagonist dude a vegetarian

Wow. And here I figured the sucktastic things were SARCASM!

I mean, seriously? A vegetarian vampire? Why don't we get a jello-powered Frankenstein while we're at it? Or a Medusa that changes you into CANDY?!

[Bozwevial]

Or a Medusa that changes you into CANDY?!

More useful than stone, if somewhat less permanent.

[BowenSilverclaw]

When are people going to realise it ?! There is not a single vampire in the Twilight books, they have sparkly, meterosexual superheroes with eating disorders. A vampire is the ultimate perversion of nature, a creature of the night cursed to live on even in death, preying upon the living. The ... things in Twilight can be summed up with this and this (though they call them vampires, that is wrong on so many levels).

They also call the sparkly protagonist dude a vegetarian

Wow. And here I figured the sucktastic things were SARCASM!

I mean, seriously? A vegetarian vampire? Why don't we get a jello-powered Frankenstein while we're at it? Or a Medusa that changes you into CANDY?!

The thing is, in this case 'vegetarian' means he doesn't bite/eat humans, instead he goes for animals

[Kuroimaken]

When are people going to realise it ?! There is not a single vampire in the Twilight books, they have sparkly, meterosexual superheroes with eating disorders. A vampire is the ultimate perversion of nature, a creature of the night cursed to live on even in death, preying upon the living. The ... things in Twilight can be summed up with this and this (though they call them vampires, that is wrong on so many levels).

They also call the sparkly protagonist dude a vegetarian

Wow. And here I figured the sucktastic things were SARCASM!

I mean, seriously? A vegetarian vampire? Why don't we get a jello-powered Frankenstein while we're at it? Or a Medusa that changes you into CANDY?!

The thing is, in this case 'vegetarian' means he doesn't bite/eat humans, instead he goes for animals

I figured, but the mental image still made me lol.

[InnaBinder]

"Being a vegetarian by day is easy; the hard part is not becoming a humanitarian at night."

[Bozwevial]

"Being a vegetarian by day is easy; the hard part is not becoming a humanitarian at night."

Terry Pratchett, no?

[Kuroimaken]

That reminds me, I NEED to get my hands on teh Discworld series.

[InnaBinder]

"Being a vegetarian by day is easy; the hard part is not becoming a humanitarian at night."

Terry Pratchett, no?

yep, re: Angua.

[CountArioch]

You know, the more I think of it the more justified I find Twilight.

Vampires in modern culture are about unrestrained sexuality.  Twilight is basically a retelling of the same stories that have been told by Hollywood and literature for some time now, except in a way that teenaged girls (and women who never grew up) can understand.

I don't particularly care for the movies and books though.  But I at least see where they're coming from.

You do realize that at least on some levels Twilight is Mormon propaganda right?

You realize that at some level, everything that has ever been written by anyone is propaganda for whatever school of thought they espouse, right?

I had found one before the first movie came out that actually drew a perfect parallel. Nothing was out of line, or a remote stretch. I'll have to see if I can locate it again.

Proving that Twilight is mormon propaganda does not refute my point that everything ever written is propaganda of some sort.

[Prime32]

Wow. And here I figured the sucktastic things were SARCASM!

I mean, seriously? A vegetarian vampire?

The Saga of Darren Shan has a scene at a meal, where a woman is cooking sausages and asks the protagonist if he is a vegetarian. Someone nearby immediately starts cracking up at the idea of a vegetarian vampire.

Then again there's a scene where the guy who turned Darren into a vampire laughs his head off at the idea that vampires bite people (vampires in this series don't have fangs - they make the required cut with their nails).

[Risada]

From this post...

I am now officially old! Turn 20 today...

Sheesh, if you're old, what does that leave for the people in the forum who are 30 years old or more? (I'm 24, myself.)

Also, happy birthday.

We're doddering old cranks shaking our canes and telling you whippersnappers to get off our lawns, of course.  And yes, we do this while talking about how in the old days we played D&D with only 6-sided dice and we liked it that way.   

This made me LOL hard 

[bhu]

http://sharkrobot.com/t-shirts/my-breasts-challenge-you-to-a-duel