Telling people they should speak up gets lots of press.
Everyone is always telling you to speak up, say what you think and assert yourself.
I am telling you to shut your trap and sit down!
Now that you are sitting there I want you to take a minute to think. Do you need to speak up? is the problem really that bad? Can you suck it up and not rain on someone elses good day? You are already a miserable bastard, do you really need to drag everyone else down? What does it actually cost you if you keep your yapper closed?
Now that you have had that think, if it is still that important, go for it.
While I am handing out advice, lets make something else clear:
you don't have to say everything that you feel
I'm a busy guy. Can I get the short version, or maybe just the bullet points? I don't need to know every problem you have. Chances are you have one or two big problems. Lets hit those and then see how things look.
A slight change of tack:
take responsibility for your feelings
If you are sad, mad or horny. Own up to it. You are sad, that much is a fact. Now you can try to work out why, but i guarantee that you are sad, or whatever. Don't let people dismiss your emotion. Of course you may be wrong about why, but the emotion is true.
don't be passive aggressive, be aggressive aggressive
The advice most people give is to replace passive aggressiveness with niceness. These advice givers are stupid.
Put direction to your conflict.
Don't say "only douche bags do that." say instead "You're a douche bag."
Own the conflict, directly address, it and get over it
