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bhu

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #280 on: February 16, 2011, 09:18:58 AM »
limit has been added

SNAKEFARTER KUNG FU


   
"Don't make me bend over and lift my dress."

 Practitioners of Snakefarter Kung Fu have made peaceful contact with an alien demiplane.  A stinky alien demiplane full of ravenous snakes who may strike a bargain with them giving them access to power in exchange for feeding the snakes.  Oddly almost all of these practitioners are women, and all of them require no shame or vulnerability to public embarrassment whatsoever.

BECOMING A SNAKEFARTER
Generally you are a Chaos Monk who has made peaceful contact with a certain realm.

 ENTRY REQUIREMENTS
   Class Abilities:  Chaos Strike (Chaotic), Mutation (Internal Defenses)
   Skills:  Bluff 8 ranks, Intimidate 8 ranks, Knowledge (The Planes) 8 ranks
   Special:  Must have made peaceful contact with The Serpent World  


Class Skills
 The Snakefarter's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Balance (Dex), Bluff (Cha), Climb (Str), Concentration (Con), Diplomacy (Cha), Escape Artist (Dex), Hide (Dex), Intimidate (Cha), Jump (Str), Knowledge (Arcana, Nature, The Planes)(Int), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Perform (Cha), Sense Motive (Wis), Spot (Wis), Swim (Str), Tumble (Dex), Use Magic Device (Cha).
Skills Points at Each  Level : 4 + int

Hit Dice: d8

   BAB  Fort    Ref    Will  Abilities
1. +0    +0     +2     +2    Snake Fu
2. +1    +0     +3     +3    Posterior Gate
3. +2    +1     +3     +3    Deadly Winds
4. +3    +1     +4     +4    Snake Fu
5. +3    +1     +4     +4    Posterior Gate
6. +4    +2     +5     +5    Deadly Winds
7. +5    +2     +5     +5    Snake Fu
8. +6    +2     +6     +6    Posterior Gate
9. +6    +3     +6     +6    Deadly Winds
10.+7    +3     +7     +7    Master Snake Farter


Snake Fu (Su): At Level 1 you can use Tiny or Small Vipers as weapons, and Medium Vipers as two handed weapons.

At Level 4 you gain the Improved Trip Feat when using your snakes as weapons, and can use a Constrictor Snake as a two handed weapon.

At Level 7 you can turn Tiny Vipers into arrows, and if they successfully hit the opponent must Save vs Poison as if bitten.  Your snakes are considered +1 weapons and are Chaotic for purposes of overcoming DR.

Posterior Gate (Su): Due to agreements with the Lords of the Serpent World you may effectively cast Summon Monster I a number of times per day equal to your Snakefarter Level as a Supernatural Ability.  The summoned monsters emerge from your body in a manner some may find discomforting, but causes you no physical discomfort or harm despite all the laws of physics being violated (as well as you).  Unlike normal you are limited to a certain serpent themed list which changes based on your level:

Level 2:cr 3-4 Hannya (OA), Huge Fiendish Viper, Jaculi (SK), Nagatha (MM4), Viper Swarm (FF), Yuan-Ti

Level 5: cr 5-6 Amphisbaena (SK), Fiendish Giant Constrictor, Yuan-Ti Halfblood

Level 8: r 7-8 Deathcoils (SK), Lesser Flame Snake (FF), Yuan-Ti Abomination, Yuan-Ti Holy Guardian (SK), Yuan-Ti Ignan (MM4)

FF: Fiend Folio
OA: Oriental Adventures
SK: Serpent Kingdoms


Deadly Winds (Su): Beginning at Level 3 when you use your Posterior Gate, you let some of the noxious marsh air from the Serpent World through as well, effectively casting Stinking Cloud as a Supernatural Ability at the same time.  You (and creatures summoned via your posterior gate) are immune to the effects of it and the Stinking Cloud spell from this point on.

At Level 6 the Area of Effect increases to 30'.

At Level 9 opponents are Nauseated one round even on a successful Saving Throw.

Master Snake Farter (Su): "My Momma calls this maneuver 'the Shanghai Ass Cannon'".  This is essentially the same as Posterior Gate except you can summon the following: cr9-10 Yuan-TI Mageslayer (SK)

Weapon Proficiencies: The Snakefarter gains no new weapon or armor proficiencies.
 
PLAYING A SNAKEFARTER
 You always wanted to be different.  You always knew you didn't fit in somehow.  It was difficult to get along with other people outside the family.  Then you met the snakes one day and they promised you ultimate power, in exchange for invading this world on occasion through your bowel.  Who could pass that up?
 Combat: You rely on your kung fu, busting out the snakes only when necessary.  Necessary of course being any opportunity you want to show off or kill someone.
 Advancement: This is pretty much decided for you by your new snakey overlords.
Resources: You're a loner, so unless you maintain good relations with your temple, odds are you're on your own (and even the temples aren't heavily funded).

SNAKEFARTERS IN THE WORLD
"Watchit Bubba.  Them asians be poopin' snakes now."
 Much like any sect of monks sturdying the martial arts (or crazed cult hellbent on world domination after peacefully making contact with extra-dimensional monstrosities) you are all loners who keep to yourselves.  People occasionally seek you out for advice on revenge or snakes or something, but mostly they leave you alone out of fear.  Sweet, well deserved fear.
 Daily Life: Your time is spent entirely in study and maintaining the temple.  Occasionally you go on missions for the snakes or personal revenge, but otherwise life is peaceful.
 Notables:
 Organizations: All Snakefarters are members of the Cult of the Hidden Viper.  You aren't the most well-known, or rich, or feared cult yet but you hope to make up for that by slowly killing everything in your path.

NPC Reaction
 The minute someone sees you poop a snake is the moment their good will ends.  That's just unnatural.

SNAKEFARTERS IN THE GAME
 This class asumes you have to be a loyal member of a cult intending to help an extra-dimensional invasion.  Could be tricky for your DM.
 Adaptation: This is just a damn weird one.  It could be done as horror, but is probably better off as horror comedy.
 Encounters: Snakefarters are rarely encountered unless on a mission, or you're out in the middle of nowhere and stumble on one of their hidden temples.

Sample Encounter
EL 12: The PC's are calmly having a patio lunch when a hot chick in green robes informs the table next to them of their impending doom, squats, and shits snakes everywhere.  So much for tacos today...


Name
CE Female Human Chaos Monk 8/Snakefarter 4
Init +2, Senses: Listen +8, Spot +7
Languages Common, Yuan-Ti
------------------------------------------------
AC , touch , flat-footed   (+2 Dex, +3 Wis, )
hp  (12 HD)
Fort +7, Ref +13, Will +13  
Disturbed Mind
------------------------------------------------
Speed 30 ft. (6 squares)
Melee
Base Atk +9, Grp +8
Atk Options Unarmed Strike, Chaos Strike (Chaos, Magic)
Combat Gear
-----------------------------------------------
Abilities Str 8, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 12, Wis 14, Cha 16
SQ Body in Flux +3, Mutation (Internal Defenses)
Feats Extra Mutation (Flexible Body), Improved Initiative, Burrowing Touch (B), Improved Grapple (B), Stunning Fist (B)
Skills Bluff +11, Concentration +5, Diplomacy +8, Escape Artist +10, Hide +8, Intimidate +11, Listen +8, Knowledge (The Planes) +9, Move Silently +8, Spot +7, Tumble +9, Use Magic Device +8
Possessions



EPIC SNAKEFARTER

Hit Die: d8
Skills Points at Each  Level : 4 + int
Class Ability
Class Ability
Bonus Feats: The Epic Snakefarter gains a Bonus Feat every x levels higher than 20th
« Last Edit: May 04, 2011, 09:39:02 AM by bhu »

Radmelon

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #281 on: February 17, 2011, 04:28:26 AM »
Where do you come up with this stuff? :wow

bhu

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #282 on: February 17, 2011, 05:53:33 AM »
watching fucked up asian movies.  Seriously a lot of 80's HK stuff is pure wtfery

veekie

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #283 on: February 17, 2011, 09:11:49 AM »
watching fucked up asian movies.  Seriously a lot of 80's HK stuff is pure wtfery
Listen to the man, he knows what hes talking about when hes talking wtfery.
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."

Bozwevial

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #284 on: February 17, 2011, 09:14:56 AM »
watching fucked up asian movies.  Seriously a lot of 80's HK stuff is pure wtfery
Listen to the man, he knows what hes talking about when hes talking wtfery.
I could devote an entire thread to taking Uncle Kitteh's posts out of context.

jojolagger

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #285 on: February 18, 2011, 03:24:06 AM »
I could devote an entire thread to taking Uncle Kitteh's posts out of context.
:lmao that would be hilarious.
Countdown to Zombie Apocalypse 97
When you see this, copy it into your sig and -1
:lovefirefox
Quotes [spoiler]
In other words, he thinks there's a "correct" way to play D&D.  *sigh*
There is: Kill shit and loot the corpse!
When you use a tool the way it was designed for -- its intended function -- then it will work very well for you.

But it's not the tool's fault if you use it for something else and you fail utterly, such as trying to eat cereal with a butterknife, pounding nails with a screwdriver, blogging to voice your political opinions, and brushing your teeth with a hammer.
[/spoiler]

bhu

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #286 on: February 18, 2011, 03:35:03 AM »
He  should see my posts on the silly message board games at GitP...

bhu

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #287 on: March 02, 2011, 01:12:59 PM »
Okay preliminary fluff and prereqs are up.  I'd say it should give hints about this class but then the title explains itself.

Radmelon

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #288 on: March 03, 2011, 04:43:49 AM »
That is terrifying.

bhu

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #289 on: March 19, 2011, 09:33:41 AM »
Fluff is finally up.

bhu

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #290 on: March 23, 2011, 07:51:22 AM »
and now we begin the crunch  :devil

Radmelon

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #291 on: March 24, 2011, 06:17:37 AM »
Very wittily written.

bhu

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #292 on: May 01, 2011, 10:12:33 AM »
Should I replace snake fu with maneuver type stuff it seems so...limited.

jojolagger

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #293 on: May 01, 2011, 06:34:22 PM »
Shouldn't your summoned snakes also be immune to the stinking cloud effect?
Countdown to Zombie Apocalypse 97
When you see this, copy it into your sig and -1
:lovefirefox
Quotes [spoiler]
In other words, he thinks there's a "correct" way to play D&D.  *sigh*
There is: Kill shit and loot the corpse!
When you use a tool the way it was designed for -- its intended function -- then it will work very well for you.

But it's not the tool's fault if you use it for something else and you fail utterly, such as trying to eat cereal with a butterknife, pounding nails with a screwdriver, blogging to voice your political opinions, and brushing your teeth with a hammer.
[/spoiler]

bhu

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #294 on: May 01, 2011, 09:07:37 PM »
Shouldn't your summoned snakes also be immune to the stinking cloud effect?
Yup, fixed that.  Now about the snake fu.  :)

bhu

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #295 on: May 04, 2011, 09:39:47 AM »
Wow there is a dearth of snake monsters in DnD (and I had thought I remmebered there being tons).  May have to use templates or make a few up.

Agita

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #296 on: May 04, 2011, 10:57:53 AM »
Wow there is a dearth of snake monsters in DnD (and I had thought I remmebered there being tons).  May have to use templates or make a few up.
Sertrous's chapter in Elder Evils suggests a few, I believe, and introduces one.
It's all about vision and making reality conform to your vision. By dropping a fucking house on it.

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veekie

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #297 on: May 04, 2011, 04:43:43 PM »
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."

bhu

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #298 on: July 21, 2011, 06:42:50 AM »
Whilst I finish off the Snakefarter it's time to do some preliminary work on the long awaited PrC I promised boz as a joke waaay back:

MASSIVE MAMMARY KUNG FU


   
"MY EYES ARE UP HERE!"

"I know.  Yer tits are still in the way."

"GODAMMIT!"

 Chaos Monks are known for odd mutations, but few are as decidely socially embarrassing as giant bosoms with a life of their own.  Life outside the temple is hard as you have to deal with jealousy from less exotic women who feel they aren't as attractive, and men who consider you sex objects, or stare in fascinated horror as your bosoms seem to try to follow them wherever they go. 

BECOMING A MAM FU
Onle female Chaos Monks of a certain busty persuasion join this order.

 ENTRY REQUIREMENTS
   Flaws:  Topheavy
   Special:  Must be Female or have Mutation (Mutable Gender)
   Feats: Anime Boobs
   Skills:  Bluff 4 ranks, Diplomacy 4 ranks, Gather Information 4 ranks
   Base Fort Save +5:  


Class Skills
 The Mam Fu's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are....
Skills Points at Each  Level : 2 + int

Hit Dice: d8

Code: [Select]
[b]   BAB  Fort    Ref    Will  Abilities[/b]
1. +1    +2     +0     +2    Buxom is Better
2. +2    +3     +0     +3    Boobs of Steel
3. +3    +3     +1     +3    Ms. Fanservice
4. +4    +4     +1     +4    Buxom is Better
5. +5    +4     +1     +4    Boobs of Steel
6. +6    +5     +2     +5    Ms. Fanservice
7. +7    +5     +2     +5    Buxom is Better
8. +8    +6     +2     +6    Boobs of Steel
9. +9    +6     +3     +6    Ms. Fanservice
10.+10   +7     +3     +7    I Have Boobs you Must Obey!

Weapon Proficiencies: A place to put the different proficiencies.
 Put all the different class abilities in here!
 
Buxom is Better:

Boobs of Steel:

Ms. Fanservice:

I Have Boobs You Must Obey!:

PLAYING A MAM FU
 Life is interesting for you.  You have gigantic, gravity defying bosoms that seem to have a life of their own, and a sentient reason to make life difficult for you.  They interfere with your movement, your daily activities, your personal relationships, etc.  And your opponents rarely seem interested in killing you so much as using you for breeding stock.  On the other hand they are also your means of revenge, and they look fabulous.  So fuck conventional morality, and God help anyone who tries to cop a feel without asking.
 Combat: Combat rarely happens for you unless the awestruck goober screaming "OMG! BOOBEHS!" gathers the wherewithal to try to put his hands on you.  Then your Twin Champions of Justice remorselessly beat the living shit out of him or fry him with nipple lasers.  Which makes the next goober a little more reticent in his attempts...
 Advancement: Advancement mostly depends on how you wish to use the awesome power of your bosom to crush the living and rule the world.  Seriously there are a variety of ways...
Resources: Your temple receives more donations than that of most Chaos Monks, probably for obvious reasons.  It pisses you off, but hey money is money.  And you get to eat more than unhulled brown rice and water which is a good thing.   

MAM FU'S IN THE WORLD
"Nice titties ma'am!"
 Most of the time, you wish the world would go away, because no matter how much you enjoy flaunting yourself, even your (possibly) massive ego wilts under the daily strain of dealing with breast obsessed idiots.  It's like you have the power to rule the world but not be taken seriously and that just pisses you right the fuck off.  You aren't your boobs.  They may be a defining characteristic, but there is more to you than just them.  Now if you could just get people to notice your other qualities. 
 Daily Life: You try to do the usual religious duties, temple upkeep, and martial arts studies.  When you aren't being pursued by lecherous dumbasses.
 Notables:
 Organizations: Chaos Monks (Nuns?) who study this particular style are a small and close-knit group.  They have to be, no one else gets it.

NPC Reaction
 NPC's adore you unless they happen to be jealous, married, or feel that you haven't paid them enough attention by sleeping with them despite having no apparent reason to do so.  Then they can be downright bitchy. 

MAM FU'S IN THE GAME
 Probably one of the more offensive things I have ever written,  Seriously do not use near female PC's, or you get what you probably expect.
 Adaptation: Meant for silly campaigns.  Particularly ones where people don't offend easily.
 Encounters: PC's usually encounter the Nuns on temple raids, local festivals, social gatherings, etc.

Sample Encounter
EL 12: The PC's have been hired to kidnap a local temple nun who is to be married soon.  Who ever heard of nuns getting married?  Then you see her, and compared to the woman who hired you understanding suddenly dawns.  Not before her left breast crushes your face like a hammer, but hind sight is always 20/20.


Name
alignment/Gender/Race/Levels
Init +0, Senses: Listen +, Spot +,
Languages
------------------------------------------------
AC , touch , flat-footed   ()
hp  ( HD)
Fort +, Ref +, Will +  
------------------------------------------------
Speed   ft. ( squares)
Melee
Base Atk +, Grp +
Atk Options
Combat Gear
Spells Prepared
Supernatural Abilities
-----------------------------------------------
Abilities Str , Dex , Con , Int , Wis , Cha
SQ
Feats
Skills
Possessions



EPIC MAM FU

Hit Die: d8
Skills Points at Each  Level : 2 + int
Class Ability
Class Ability
Bonus Feats: The Epic Class Name gains a Bonus Feat every x levels higher than 20th



NEW FEATS

Anime Boobs
Your bosoms are far more mobile than humanly possible and regularly do their best to piss on the laws of physics.
 Prerequisites: Flaw (Topheavy)
 Benefits:


NEW FLAWS

Topheavy
Your bosoms are stupidly big.  And yet somehow perky.  
 Prerequisites: Female
 Benefits:
« Last Edit: October 15, 2011, 11:52:56 AM by bhu »

Radmelon

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Re: Chaos Monk Redux
« Reply #299 on: July 22, 2011, 12:04:25 AM »
You are going straight to hell. Just sayin'. :devil