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Author Topic: Who Would Win  (Read 5930 times)

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Josh

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Who Would Win
« on: January 11, 2009, 01:52:59 AM »
Here is the setup:

The match is to be carried out in a regulation Mexican Octagon with regulation chicken wire and sawdust on the floor.  All fighters are dressed in identical wrestling onesies and regulation fighting boots and gloves.

Zeke, Ogre and Luke no special rules

Brant, I am not sure if he is the best fighter from Trapcast. 

Ryan - Unfair matching, given that he is a cripple. So he is allowed to bring in his cane(weapon) and hat(magical totem)

Kristin - Normally the size difference would give her a serious disadvantage, so in order to even things out just before the match I will tell her she has sand in her vagina.  Since this will now tip the scale in her favor she has to have a koala tied to her back.
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Dumb-Age Master

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #1 on: January 11, 2009, 01:58:38 AM »
Zeke. He would just sent the other wrestlers into insanity with mind games.
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ogre

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2009, 02:47:47 AM »
There's this really great noise that people make when you get them in a choke... er, I don't fight anymore.
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tc_george

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2009, 08:32:02 PM »
Mine was a toss-up between Luke and Brant. Luke because you know he'd go right for the eyes and while Brant is wiry if he gets enough alcohol in him he can do the greater rage ability for +6 strength and +6 con. The rage's +4 to Will save could get him past Zeke's mind bullets.   -------> Drunk Brant  :banghead
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tc_george

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #4 on: January 11, 2009, 08:33:27 PM »
Oh yeah. True story, one time in College Brant put his head through our house's wall. It was awesome.
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Govneh

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #5 on: January 11, 2009, 09:57:25 PM »
Totally voted for myself. Have you seen my fucking lesbian arms? Yeah. I'd win. Manual Labor FTW
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Tshern

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #6 on: January 11, 2009, 10:06:55 PM »
Manual labor on whom? That's what counts.
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Bozwevial

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #7 on: January 11, 2009, 10:40:49 PM »
Quote from: Josh on January 11, 2009, 01:52:59 AM
Kristin - Normally the size difference would give her a serious disadvantage, so in order to even things out just before the match I will tell her she has sand in her vagina.  Since this will now tip the scale in her favor she has to have a koala tied to her back.

Mark your calendar, I'm using a smiley:  :lmao

I still think Zeke would win, though.
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Govneh

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #8 on: January 12, 2009, 02:34:32 PM »
I think now I have to come to GenCon just to settle this.

But I need someone else to supply the koala.
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Josh

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #9 on: January 12, 2009, 02:40:17 PM »
I'll pick up a few from the koala farm.  They make good eating anyway.
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Govneh

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #10 on: January 12, 2009, 02:43:57 PM »
They say lobsters scream when you drop them in a vat of boiling water, I wonder what a koala would sound like.

Or should we fry them?
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"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, "mad cow" disease, and many others, but I think a case can be made that faith is one of the world's great evils, comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to eradicate."
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Tshern

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #11 on: January 12, 2009, 02:46:11 PM »
Eat them alive.
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Josh

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #12 on: January 12, 2009, 02:51:44 PM »
Little known fact: lobsters beg for mercy in suprisingly good English.

The french and Italians disagree in how best to prepare koala.  The french favor marinate and then a long braise.
The Italians think that the french are gigantic dicks and hope the Germans invade again.
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Govneh

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #13 on: January 12, 2009, 02:53:44 PM »
Quote from: Tshern on January 12, 2009, 02:46:11 PM
Eat them alive.
Your enthusiasm is appreciated, but I fear they'd shred my money maker. And by money-maker, I mean my vagina face.
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"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, "mad cow" disease, and many others, but I think a case can be made that faith is one of the world's great evils, comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to eradicate."
~Richard Dawkins

Tshern

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #14 on: January 12, 2009, 03:12:54 PM »
Probably, koalas are wild beasts if I've ever seen one.
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Bozwevial

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #15 on: January 12, 2009, 05:43:32 PM »
Have you ever watched them eat eucalypt leaves? They savage them. It's terrifying.
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Josh

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #16 on: January 13, 2009, 01:20:50 AM »
Quote from: Bozwevial on January 12, 2009, 05:43:32 PM
Have you ever watched them eat eucalypt leaves? They savage them. It's terrifying.

I saw the crocodile hunter capture one.

Like most herbivores it is a senseless brutal killer who kills for fun and not for food.

And they can really do a number on a hapless vaginaface.
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Govneh

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #17 on: January 13, 2009, 01:34:42 AM »
Quote from: Josh on January 13, 2009, 01:20:50 AM
vaginaface.
Yet again Josh, brilliant. Vaginaface. Now I'm trying to picture someone I might dub a vaginaface...
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"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, "mad cow" disease, and many others, but I think a case can be made that faith is one of the world's great evils, comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to eradicate."
~Richard Dawkins

Josh

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #18 on: January 13, 2009, 01:40:03 AM »
Quote from: Govneh on January 13, 2009, 01:34:42 AM
Quote from: Josh on January 13, 2009, 01:20:50 AM
vaginaface.
Yet again Josh, brilliant. Vaginaface. Now I'm trying to picture someone I might dub a vaginaface...
Other than zoidberg?
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AfterCrescent

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Re: Who Would Win
« Reply #19 on: January 13, 2009, 04:37:56 AM »
Quote from: Josh on January 12, 2009, 02:51:44 PM
The Italians think that the french are gigantic dicks and hope the Germans invade again.
This man knows what he's talking about.
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