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Episode 36: Don't Kick People out of your game
Meg:
We've planned this episode but haven't recorded it yet but feel it's an important one. The biggest struggle is how to not sound like complete asses with it.
Suggestions on how to not kick someone out?
Shoggoth:
I think you've touched on this in previous episodes, but the most important thing is to find out what the problem person is looking for out of the game.
That means using non-confrontational techniques, preferably one on one, to ask them questions about what they want from the game and what they can live with. Don't tell them they're messing up, tell them it seems like they're either not enjoying the game or they aren't having fun, then ask them what kind of game they're looking for. You can go from there.
Of course, if they are actually an actively agressively destructive player (sabotage the game on purpose for their own amusement), then you have to call them out on it. I think if you are honest with them about the problem, try to work with them, and they continue to cause problems because they're actually a jerk, then you have one of the few times when kicking someone out is OK. It's not likely to happen with friends, but if you run a game for people out of a store it can happen.
emissary666:
I've had to kick many people out. Apparently my "friends" enjoy ruining everyones fun. I need new friends.
Wordman:
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Robert Bohl:
Alternative: "I don't want to play with you" doesn't mean "kick someone out." It can mean you leave, it can mean you play a different game, and so on. I think as a culture, we have this notion that there is a single group of people, you signed up with them at one point, and you're stuck with them until the day you die.
I'd prefer the discussion to be "how do you deal with people who you think you don't want to game with" or something less verbose. Put all the options for coping with situations like this on the table.
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