CRAZY CAT LADY "Don't touch the cats. Seriously I will screw your life up good buddy." Crazy Cat Ladies are former Guild members who have studied animal magic (i.e. went treehugger and joined the Druids), and now run a tidy little Guild of their own composed of kitties (although what the Guild does varies heavily, they aren't usually sinister). They're also crazy. Some are more obvious the others, but they are all examples of how nature says 'do not touch'.
BECOMING A CRAZY CAT LADY A level of Cat Burglar, and plenty of Druid levels fits you right in.
ENTRY REQUIREMENTS Gender: Female
Class Abilities: Kitty Form
Spells: Must be able to cast at least 3rd level Druid spells
Skills: Knowledge (Nature) 8 Ranks, Knowledge Local 4 Ranks
Feats: Animal Affinity
Class Skills The Crzay Cat Lady's class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are Bluff (Cha), Concentration (Con), Craft (Int), Gather Information (Cha), Handle Animal (Cha), Hide (Dex), Knowledge (Local, Nature)(Int), Listen (Wis), Move Silently (Dex), Sense Motive (Wis), Spellcraft (Int), Spot (Wis), and Use Magic Device (Cha).
Skills Points at Each Level : 4 + int
Hit Dice: d6
[b] BAB Fort Ref Will Abilities[/b]
1. +0 +0 +0 +2 Behold Mah Fuzzy Minions
2. +1 +0 +0 +3 Kitties Are Mah Fwiend +1, +1 Level of Divine Spellcasting Class
3. +2 +1 +1 +3 NOOO! Not Mah Kittehs!, +1 Level of Divine Spellcasting Class
4. +3 +1 +1 +4 Behold Mah Fuzzy Minions, +1 Level of Divine Spellcasting Class
5. +3 +1 +1 +4 Kitties Are Mah Fwiend +2, +1 Level of Divine Spellcasting Class
6. +4 +2 +2 +5 NOOO! Not Mah Kittehs!, +1 Level of Divine Spellcasting Class
7. +5 +2 +2 +5 Behold Mah Fuzzy Minions, +1 Level of Divine Spellcasting Class
8. +6 +2 +2 +6 Kitties Are Mah Fwiend +4, +1 Level of Divine Spellcasting Class
9. +6 +3 +3 +6 NOOO! Not Mah Kittehs!, +1 Level of Divine Spellcasting Class
10.+7 +3 +3 +7 Mommie's Here Pumpkin
Weapon Proficiencies: Crazy Cat Ladies gain no new weapon or armor proficiencies.
Behold Mah Fuzzy Minions (Su): At 1st level you may summon 1d6 Housecats as a Standard Action for 1 hour per caster level (this works in all other ways like Summon Nature's Ally I). You may do this 3 times per day.
At 4th level you may cast the spell Awaken once per day as a Supernatural Ability, but it only affects cats. Additionally the children of these cats will inherit their parents Awakened status.
At 8th level when you summon your Housecats they may be summoned with any 1 Template of up to +2 CR on them.
Kitties Are Mah Fwiend (Ex): At 2nd level you get a +1 Circumstance Bonus to all Charisma based skill checks when dealing with felines of any sort (including Outsiders, Magical Beasts, Monstrous Humanoids, etc). Unsentient felines (i.e. those with an Int of 2 or less) are automatically friendly towards you so long as you treat them and all other felines well while they are about.
This bonus increase to +2 at level 5, and +4 at level 8.
NOOO! Not Mah Kittehs! (Su) At 3rd level you may "lose" any spell you have prepared for the day, and cast any Cure spell of a similar or lower level on yourself or any feline (fellow Cat Burglars in Kitty Form included).
At 6th level you may "lose" any spell you have prepared for the day to grant all feline Allies within 30' a Deflection Bonus to their Armor Class equal to the spells level. This is a Standard Action, lasts 3 rounds plus 1 round per point of Charisma Modifier, and remains in effect if the Ally goes outside of the initial 30' range.
At 9th level you may "lose" any spell you have prepared for the day to Teleport any feline Ally within sight up to 10' per spell level as a Standard Action.
Mommie's Here Pumpkin (Su): At 10th level you may "lose" any spell of 7th level or higher to cast Resurrection on any feline Ally you are able to touch as a Full Round Action.
PLAYING A CRAZY CAT LADY Remember: People think you're crazy, so be crazy. Crazy old women are harmless. Spooky, determined old women are witches. You don't want to be mistaken for the second one. Cats are nature's most perfectest creatures as well. They're better than people, and you wish you were one full time. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Combat: Crazy Cat ladies aren't fighters, and will usually flee if they can. They will only fight to protect their beloved kitties from harm. You don't want that. At best you can hope to awaken a few days later in one piece, sane, and possibly even still mammalian.
Advancement: Advancement generally is fairly individualistic, and depends on each Cat Ladies actual goals for her organization (and personal eccentricities).
Resources: Some Cat Ladies can still call on the Cat Burglars for help, or from her Druid teachers. Most are loenrs who just have their bands of fanatically loyal minions.
CRAZY CAT LADY'S IN THE WORLD "You see Eleanor today? She's talking to the trees now. Guess the hundred cats she has isn't enough to keep her company anymore." You do your best to make the world believe your a daffy old woman (or maybe a daffy young woman depending on age, crazy is the unifying theme here). Little things like talking to cats (who are probably in on the act), scolding inanimate objects, going nuts and screaming at people randomly...
Daily Life: Your day is usually dominated by training new kitties, and running the Guild. Or taking care of whatever mundane business it is you use to convince the mundanes to give you subsistence money and leave you alone.
Notables: Eleanor Abernathy (CN Human Female Cat Burglar 1/Druid 5.Crazy Cat Lady 6) seems to be a kindly old lady who adopts all the local strays or any surplus kittens families don't want. And she's appears to be at least mildly insane. Oxana Askenov (Cat Burglar 1/Druid 5/Crazy Cat Lady 6) appears to be a mild mannered veterinarian...but she likes animals a little too much. She often tends to thin of them as people and their owners as pets.
Organizations: Crazy Cat Ladies tend to head their own small organizations, running Guilds of Awakened cat spies. They usually see each other as competition.
NPC Reaction NPC's think your out of your mind at worst, and mildly senile at best. Which is good. No one expects the crazy old lady at the end of the road to be a spymaster. Most of the time people look at you and think "Oh God! Oh God please don't let her notice me. Please don't let her notice me...." And then God takes a big fat crap in their oatmeal as you smile and walk over to them intending on having some fun conversation.
CRAZY CAT LADY'S IN THE GAME Little old ladies everywhere will not thank you for ruining their good name. Seriously they tend to spread malicious gossip about you. Some of your minions keep track of them full time.
Adaptation: This is perfectly adaptable to horror campaigns as well as silly ones.
Encounters: PC's will usually encounter Crazy Cat Ladies in odd circumstances (i.e. be accosted by them at social functions like town fairs and such). Or maybe they're referred to one cause their pet kitty is hurt. Most won't have a clue who or what they've encountered until much later.
Sample Encounter EL 12: "Potions for sale!! Potions for sale!! Old woman who is definitely NOT crazy has potions for sale!! Smite your enemies and loved ones with potions for sale!!"
Eleanor AbernathyCN Female Human (Cat Burglar 1/Druid 5/Crazy Cat Lady 6)
Init +1 (+4 KF),
Senses: Listen +7, Spot +7
Languages Common, Sylvan, Druidic
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AC x, touch x, flat-footed x (+1 Dex, )
AC Small x, touch x, flat-footed x (+2 Size, +1 Dex, )
hp 47 (12 HD)
Fort +7,
Ref +7 (+10 KF),
Will +13
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Speed 30 ft. (6 squares)
Melee Base Atk +8,
Grp +7 (-5 KF)
Atk OptionsCombat Gear Spells Prepared 0: 6/day, DC 13
1st: 5/day, DC 14
2nd: 5/day, DC 15
3rd: 4/day, DC 16
4th: 3/day, DC 17
5th: 2/day, DC 18
Supernatural Abilities Behold Mah Fuzzy Minions!, NOOO! Not Mah Kittehs!
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Abilities Str 8, Dex 13, Con 10, Int 12, Wis 16, Cha 16
Abilities KF Str 3, Dex 19
SQ Animal Companion (Heavy Horse), Kitty Form, Nature Sense, Purr, Resist Nature's Lure, Trackless Step, Wild Empathy, Wild Shape 1/day, Woodland Stride, Kitties are Mah Fwiend +2, Feline Empathy, Cat Powah +3
Feats Animal Affinity, Augment Summoning, Brew Potion, Natural Spell, Persuasive, Spell Focus (Conjuration)
Skills Bluff +9, Concentration +7, Craft (Alchemy) +5, Diplomacy +7, Gather Information +7, Handle Animal +9, Heal +7, Hide +5, Intimidate +9, Knowledge (Local) +8, Knowledge (Nature) +9, Listen +7, Move Silently +5, Ride +7, Sense Motive +7, Spellcraft +4, Spot +7, Survival +7, Use Magic Device +7
PossessionsFwuffyNeutral Heavy Horse
Init +2,
Senses: Listen +5, Spot +5, Low Light Vision, Scent
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AC 16, touch 11, flat-footed 14 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +5 Natural)
hp 32 (5 HD)
Fort +6,
Ref +6,
Will +2
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Speed 50 ft. (10 squares)
Melee 2 Hooves +1 (1d6+1)
Base Atk +3,
Grp +10
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Abilities Str 17, Dex 14, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
SQ Low Light Vision, Scent, Link, Share Spells, Evasion
Feats Endurance, Run
Skills Listen +5, Spot +5
Life with Eleanor has made Fluffy an unusual horse. To be blunt, he believes he is a cat. Watching a horse try to meow is kinda spooky. Watching one try to clean itself with its tongue is just terrifying.
EPIC CRAZY CAT LADY Hit Die: d6
Skills Points at Each Level : 4 + int
Kitties Are Mah Fwiend The Crazy Cat Ladies Bonus increases by +2 at level 22 and every 3 levels thereafter.
Spells The Crazy Cat Lady's Caster Level is equal to her Druid plus her CCL Levels -2. You do not gain additional spells after 20th level.
Bonus Feats: The Epic Crazy Cat Lady gains a Bonus Feat every 3 levels higher than 20th.