Author Topic: Wish Granted!  (Read 147824 times)

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Ophiuchus

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #640 on: August 27, 2008, 12:32:50 AM »
As you wish is not granted, an alternate dimensional version of you (opposite gender, of course) is given a piece of delicious German Chocolate Cake.

I wish for true physical and emotional love... and G.C.C.

CountArioch

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #641 on: August 27, 2008, 04:44:27 AM »
Granted!  You go talk to Santa Claus in Happyland, who tells you to walk around Lollipop lane where you fly on a pig to the new ski resort they built in Hell recently and find something that only exists in the delusions of poets.  And they give you G.C.C., once you explain what the hell that is.



I wish to go to bed now.
She hasn't come to crush your bones, nor tear your flesh
She has come to steal your sanity with just one glance

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emissary666

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #642 on: August 27, 2008, 08:10:50 AM »
Wish granted; your bed now has spikes on it

I wish to get away from the beach
I make little kids cry
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Agita

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #643 on: August 27, 2008, 08:56:27 AM »
It's all about vision and making reality conform to your vision. By dropping a fucking house on it.

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Nox_Noctis

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #644 on: August 27, 2008, 08:58:59 AM »
Wish Granted! Your next shift at Wal Mart starts in an hour. Oh, and remember to pick up diapers and food for your fifteen children.

I wish I had the jaw power of a crocodile.
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]

AndyJames

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #645 on: August 27, 2008, 09:30:06 AM »
Wish granted. You now dribble everytime you eat or drink anything and chewing food is but a memory for you (crocs have very weak jaws...).

I wish for more annual days off.

Nox_Noctis

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #646 on: August 27, 2008, 09:47:34 AM »
Wish granted. You now dribble everytime you eat or drink anything and chewing food is but a memory for you (crocs have very weak jaws...).

I wish for more annual days off.

First, before I do any granting, what? O_o "The crocodile's bite force is more than 5,000 pounds per square inch,[3] compared to just 335 psi for a rottweiler, 400 psi for a large great white shark, or 800 to 1,000 psi for a hyena."

Wish Granted! You have two days off each year, determined at random at the first of each year. The random pool is not allowed to contain recognized holiday dates, which you must work triple-shifts for, without overtime pay.

I wish for balloons!
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]

Agita

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #647 on: August 27, 2008, 10:46:30 AM »
I wish for balloons!
Wish granted. You are now a baloon in Balloon Land. The one that gets killed by the Pincushion Man the very first, to be accurate.

I wish I didn't have to eat, drink, or sleep.
It's all about vision and making reality conform to your vision. By dropping a fucking house on it.

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Nox_Noctis

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #648 on: August 27, 2008, 10:53:42 AM »
I wish for balloons!
Wish granted. You are now a baloon in Balloon Land. The one that gets killed by the Pincushion Man the very first, to be accurate.

I wish I didn't have to eat, drink, or sleep.

Wish Granted! You are now an elan. Unfortunately, you are mistaken for Elan and killed by Xykon.

I wish to be in marshmallow hell! :)
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]

Agita

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #649 on: August 27, 2008, 11:02:02 AM »
Wish granted. Unfortunately, you're The Scrappy, so the producers have you choke to death in the bosoms of some old ladies.

I wish for more nachos.
It's all about vision and making reality conform to your vision. By dropping a fucking house on it.

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Nox_Noctis

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #650 on: August 27, 2008, 11:05:31 AM »
Wish Granted! You drown in them... oh, and they leave you catatonic (and dead, yes).

I wish to be Optimus Prime.
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]

Prime32

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #651 on: August 27, 2008, 11:38:50 AM »
I wish to be Optimus Prime.
Wish granted

I wish to be Optimus Primal.
My work
The tier system in a nutshell:
[spoiler]Tier 6: A cartographer.
Tier 5: An expert cartographer or a decent marksman.
Tier 4: An expert marksman.
Tier 3: An expert marksman, cartographer and chef who can tie strong knots and is trained in hostage negotiation or a marksman so good he can shoot down every bullet fired by a minigun while armed with a rusted single-shot pistol that veers to the left.
Tier 2: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything, or the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.
Tier 1: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything and the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.[/spoiler]

Kai

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #652 on: August 28, 2008, 12:50:43 PM »
Wish granted! You are now a Optimus Primal action figure. Mint condition and packaged for all eternity in a collector's warehouse.



I wish I had time for breakfast.
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ~Mahatma Gandhi

Chemus

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #653 on: August 28, 2008, 01:35:30 PM »
Wish Granted! Since you've been banned from any school, and now have neither a job nor a social life, you have plenty of time to linger over whatever breakfast you can manage.

I wish I managed my time better.
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emissary666

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #654 on: August 28, 2008, 04:57:19 PM »
Wish granted; you watch is now set to Antarctic time, down to the microsecond. You do live in Antarctica, right?

I wish for Yugoslavia to win gold in all of the 2012 Olympic Games.
I make little kids cry
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Agita

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #655 on: August 28, 2008, 05:02:16 PM »
Wish granted! Two days later, every single Yugoslavian athlete checks out positive on the doping tests; the gold medals are withdrawn and Yugoslavia is banned from ever participating again for all times.

I wish to trade (sacrifice) my 15 children and the woman/women I had them with for the ability to use Hadoken once per day (And not miss like BM always does).
« Last Edit: August 28, 2008, 05:08:12 PM by Agita »
It's all about vision and making reality conform to your vision. By dropping a fucking house on it.

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emissary666

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #656 on: August 28, 2008, 07:16:39 PM »
Wish granted; If you are a man, then you become a woman and a lesbian, and end up sacrificing your self. If you are a women, you become a lesbian and end up sacrificing your self. Just more proof that homosexual relations are bad for evil rituals.

I wish for the "h" to be pronounced in "what"
I make little kids cry
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Nox_Noctis

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #657 on: August 28, 2008, 10:56:38 PM »
Wish granted; If you are a man, then you become a woman and a lesbian, and end up sacrificing your self. If you are a women, you become a lesbian and end up sacrificing your self. Just more proof that homosexual relations are bad for evil rituals.

I wish for the "h" to be pronounced in "what"

Hwish Granted! Unfortunately, this causes other things to be pronounced similarly, leading to hwishes coming back. Everyone hates you for it and you die a miserable death. Now, granted, your death was totally unrelated, but it was still totally miserable. I hope you're happy.

I wish to play guitar like Michael Angelo Batio.
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]

skydragonknight

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #658 on: August 31, 2008, 07:51:56 PM »
I wish to play guitar like Michael Angelo Batio.

Nothing happens because you didn't hwish for it. :p
It always seems like the barrels around here have something in them.

Kai

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #659 on: September 01, 2008, 12:30:48 PM »
I wish to play guitar like Michael Angelo Batio.

Wish granted.  You play exactly like Michael Angelo Batio. Your finger placement, the angle at which you hold your instrument, everything. Limited funds however force you to play on a ukulele though.



I wish Meg would add to the smilies list.
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ~Mahatma Gandhi