Wish Granted!

[BobismyRhino]

Wish granted. You get paralyzed (from the neck down) from a freak accident at work. You won't ever have the use of functioning limbs again, but luckily, you get workers comp for it.

I wish I could speak with animals.

[DetectiveJabsco]

Wish Granted, Too bad animals have nothing worth while to say.

I wish i would have remembered to make a wish last time.

[Chemus]

Wish Granted! The paradox of you remembering to wish while having forgotten to wish destroys your memory of remembering to wish. Darn time paradoxes!

I wish I was cool too!

[DetectiveJabsco]

Wish Granted, Your in a perpetual state of Coolness, that is to say not to hot but not to cold.

I wish, through no ones death, not mine or any others, or injury, or discomfort, and with no personal cost, I could spontaneously generate at my will exactly 1 pound of real cake or pie that was untarnished, permanent, neither toxic nor deadly to anyone or anything, was eatable, delicious to everyone, was easily accessible to myself and anyone else, and worth my time.

[AfterCrescent]

Wish granted. The cake or pie always tastes like cow dung. And thanks to your wish, everyone finds the taste of cow dung delicious.

I wish I did not find the taste of cow dung delicious.

[DetectiveJabsco]

Wish Granted, Your now the only person who hates the tastes and get mocked constantly.

I wish i was not so awesome at making the best wishes ever!

[Chemus]

Wish Granted! ...

I wish to have a better car.

[DetectiveJabsco]

Wish Granted, Best car of all time, from planets and minds beyond ours, and so is its fuel supply.

I wish for people to grant my wishes funnier

[Nox_Noctis]

Wish Granted! You actually make interesting wishes, much to the shock and surprise of all in this thread (seriously, wishing for an amusing granting...), which, in turn, causes them to suspect that you are actually an Aleax. With only one way to be sure, we all attempt to kill you. Unfortunately, Stratovarius finally comes back and beats everyone else (literally) to the kill... with his paperweight. Oh, it turns out you weren't an Aleax, too, so Stratovarius didn't get any nifty benefits from killing you.

I wish to know why my gameology-fu dropped when I was not even on the forum (seriously, it dropped sometime in the past two days when I lacked internet access: 0=>1=>2=>1=>2=>1=>0 has been my gameology-fu without any explanation, and I don't post often enough in the CO area to actually be posting inaccurate information or advice, so I can only assume someone thinks I'm an asshole, and would very much like to know who, if only so that we may agree to disagree [or, at best, so that I might try to improve myself in whatever aspect that person detests]).

[Risada]

Wish granted! The one behind such thing is Pun-Pun. He was playing with you. Now that you know what he did, he is coming after you.

I wish I could graduate from college without doing anything.

[Lost_Scholar]

Wish granted. You graduate from the Failures' School of Failing....where you graduate by failing.

I wish for California to fall into the ocean.

[Chemus]

Wish Granted! California falls off into the Pacific Ocean during your trip to San Francisco.

I wish for a kitty.

[Prime32]

Wish granted. Kitty "Shadowcat" Pryde of the X-Men falls madly in love with you, but while hugging you, she accidentally phases you to the centre of the Earth.

I wish for this statement to be a wish.
(again )

[Chemus]

Wish Granted! Your stated wish magically transforms into a wish...for me! In an unrelated note, a meteor falls on your car.

I wish to be clever.

[Optimator]

Wish granted!  You go from being below human average to average cleverness.  You life changes little.

I wish I had better game.

[AfterCrescent]

Wish granted. Your game is undeniable and awesome... with giraffes.

I wish that my girlfriend was able to get enough sleep each night and that whatever twist happens affects me and not her.

[Nox_Noctis]

Wish Granted! She becomes virtually comatose, sleeping forever. Luckily, she also becomes somnambulatory, so she can still function (at a job, etc.) while asleep. Unfortunately, because she's always asleep, she doesn't pay any attention to you and your relationship quickly withers. You despair and commit suicide.

I wish to ace my Latin final (the last final I have to take for this year) with no impact on the finals I already took.

[AfterCrescent]

Wish granted. You ace your final, unfortunately since every other grade you've gotten in that class was an F, your teacher accuses you of cheating and you are summarily dismissed from school and become a homeless man on the street, where you later die of gangrene.

I wish cats had opposable thumbs.

[Irthos Levethix]

Wish granted!  Cats quickly become better at most jobs than humans, and slaughter us with kitty-kung-fu.

I wish I get a motorcycle, and nothing physically or mentally bad happens to me because of it.

[Nox_Noctis]

Wish granted. You ace your final, unfortunately since every other grade you've gotten in that class was an F, your teacher accuses you of cheating and you are summarily dismissed from school and become a homeless man on the street, where you later die of gangrene.

(Thank goodness that actually doesn't make sense since I already got my other grades back, including 98% on the midterm, etc.)

Wish Granted! Your motorcycle slides on a patch of ice, killing dozens (yes, dozens!) of ice-skaters. You suffer no physical or mental harm (even though you should be traumatized by the accidental murder of dozens (yes, dozens!) of ice-skaters) but are arrested. Your financial status suffers when you re-enter the world years later to find yourself incompatible with new technologies.

I wish for fish.