Author Topic: Wish Granted!  (Read 40748 times)

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RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #40 on: December 19, 2008, 08:43:40 PM »
Wish granted!  Here are all your homework assignments... due in an hour!

I wish the plows would get out soon and clear the roads after these eight or so inches of snow.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

InnaBinder

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #41 on: December 19, 2008, 09:15:07 PM »
Wish granted!  They clear the roads of snow... by dumping it all in your driveway.

I wish to be the sole winner of tomorrow night's lottery.
Winning an argument on the internet is like winning in the Special Olympics.  You won, but you're still retarded.

I made a Handbook!?

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #42 on: December 19, 2008, 09:28:21 PM »
Granted.  On the way to claiming your prize, you are mugged, but are otherwise okay.

I wish we had even more smilies in this forum.


Wish granted!  They clear the roads of snow... by dumping it all in your driveway.
You mean my driveway made of lava?! :p

Hey, my last two wished canceled out!
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

veekie

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #43 on: December 20, 2008, 01:11:15 PM »

Wish granted!  They clear the roads of snow... by dumping it all in your driveway.
You mean my driveway made of lava?! :p

Hey, my last two wished canceled out!
You score.

Granted, they are all of gruesome and disgusting things you cannot unsee. And everyone LOVES using them.

I wish my internet was faster.
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #44 on: December 20, 2008, 06:36:09 PM »
Wish granted.  The electrons move so fast that your ethernet cable incinerates.

I wish when the plows came through, they didn't fill the end of my driveway with a metric ton of packed snow.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

skydragonknight

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #45 on: December 20, 2008, 11:39:29 PM »
Wish granted! We don't know how, but they instead put all the snow from the street on top of your roof...which collapses after it snows 18 inches one day and you somehow have a 30 foot pile of highly compressed snow on your roof. Your driveway though is amazingly untouched(they also plowed that as a courtesy, and put your replacement car on top of the roof with the snow), but your house has seen better days.

I wish it would stop snowing here for the next week and instead snow in Egypt.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2008, 11:57:35 PM by skydragonknight »
It always seems like the barrels around here have something in them.

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #46 on: December 29, 2008, 10:00:36 PM »
Wish granted!  You get the sandstorm originally scheduled for Egypt.

I wish I could walk on walls.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

veekie

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #47 on: December 30, 2008, 04:49:48 AM »
Wish granted, you can only walk on walls. Currently you are figuring out how to leave your house without touching the ground.

I wish WotC designed things properly before sending them to the printers.
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #48 on: December 30, 2008, 03:06:10 PM »
Wish granted!  They never send their products to the printers...  :bigeye

I wish when WotC put out an errata, my corresponding book would magically update!
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Vynar

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #49 on: December 30, 2008, 04:09:01 PM »
Granted! They errata everything to simply state "buy fourth edition." All but your 4ed books are lost.

I wish that dirty underpants were accepted as currency world wide.

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #50 on: December 30, 2008, 04:40:53 PM »
Granted.  You're, uh... filthy rich.

I wish I had that disturbing image out of my head.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

TheWordSlinger

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #51 on: December 30, 2008, 05:37:01 PM »
Wish granted, now you have every other disturbing image from the entire internet stuck in your head instead.

I wish for a teleporter...
Currently playing:
Forte Lulz, Chaotic EVIL Bard bent on world domination;
Canere Potentia, to sing of power.
Aralaxax, Warforged Osteomancer, Machines are my people, I wield bones as other wield swords.
Randall Gray, she's not sexually confused, honest!
Zion "I can make followers, but why bother when people line up for me?"
Currently DMing: Real Men Use Their Hands, World's Largest Dungeon
"If you can pretend to be a half-orc barbarian or a dwarf wizard then you can pretend to be an alpha male."-Ninjarabbit
"The hotel shop only had two decent books, and I'd written both of them."-Douglas Adams
"It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to." Xander Harris, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #52 on: December 31, 2008, 03:33:37 AM »
Wish granted.  As soon as you step into it to test it out, you get telefraged!

I wish I had light bulbs that would never burn out.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Vynar

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #53 on: December 31, 2008, 04:04:58 PM »
Granted! You also have severe light sensitivity.

I wish that Robbypants was possessed by the ghosts of Bloody Mary, Albert Einstein, Bernie Mac, Amelia Airheart, Erwin Rommel, and Annie Oakley simultaneously while piloting the original Voltron modified to run on Cheeze-its in a 1,000 man Marco Polo tournament of the coast of North Korea .

skydragonknight

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #54 on: December 31, 2008, 05:24:58 PM »
Wish granted. You happen to be in the 1000 man marco polo tournament on the coast of North Korea when a Voltron modified to run on Cheese-itz comes out of no where piloted by Robbypants who is possessed by the ghosts of Bloody Mary, Albert Einstein, Bernie Mac, Amelia Airheart, Erwin Rommel and Annie Oakley. Due to multiple personalities distrupting controls, the giant robot Voltron goes back to the default mode on every robot ever made: destroy all humans. It sees you first. It kills you. But don't worry, you aren't the last victim.

I wish to have the ability to fly perfectly off the ground and land without death or injury.
It always seems like the barrels around here have something in them.

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #55 on: December 31, 2008, 06:45:59 PM »
Wish granted.  The government spots you flying and covets your precious gift.  They capture you and perform experiments on you for years, trying to figure out how you can fly.

I wish I had free beer that tasted good and wasn't non-alchololic.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Chemus

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #56 on: December 31, 2008, 06:57:37 PM »
Wish Granted! The beer tends to give you a murderous hangover, even after only one beer.

I wish to be well thought of.
*waves hand* This is not the sig you're looking for...
The freely downloadable and searchable 3.5 SRD I prefer (Web)
Camlen, Enniwey

Vynar

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #57 on: December 31, 2008, 11:25:47 PM »
Granted! Unfortunately your new stalker Will Ferrel thinks a little too well of you. Enjoy your life chained in his basement and being forced into a all kinds of......... things.........

I wish for a coupon redeemable at 7-11 for one free wish.

skydragonknight

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #58 on: January 01, 2009, 09:06:07 AM »
Wish granted! Unfortunately the coupon expired yesterday.

I wish for a Dyson's Sphere(however you correctly spell his name).
It always seems like the barrels around here have something in them.

Nox_Noctis

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #59 on: January 02, 2009, 09:29:21 AM »
Wish Granted! Dyson gets pissed that you have his sphere and mauls you. He incidentally forgets to take it back, forcing him to attack you again. Several unbelievable iterations later, he kills you and donates the sphere to charity on a whim.

I wish that I - and I alone - had limitless wealth (which I would not drown the economy with).
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]