Author Topic: Wish Granted!  (Read 40570 times)

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Kuroimaken

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #300 on: December 29, 2010, 04:43:43 AM »
I wish I was the real Santa Claus, the same way as in The Santa Clause.
Wish granted. You were the real Santa Claus, until being pushed off a roof by altpersona so he can use the powers of Christmas to conquer BG.

To stop him, I wish for a team of teenagers with attitude.

Your wish is granted. Sadly, it's a team of teenagers with attitude as envisioned by Disney, who also decided to remake Captain Planet and the Planeteers.

On that note, I wish Charles Darwin were still around, invulnerable, and armed with a chainsaw of natural selection that runs off of mankind's stupidity.
Gendou Ikari is basically Gregory House in Kaminashades. This is FACT.

For proof, look here:

http://www.layoutjelly.com/image_27/gendo_ikari/

[SPOILER]
Which Final Fantasy Character Are You?
Final Fantasy 7
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Katana of Enlightenment.
Get yours.[/SPOILER]

I HAVE BROKEN THE 69 INTERNETS BARRIER!


Monotremeancer

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #301 on: December 31, 2010, 01:43:22 AM »
Wish granted, the chainsaw gains an infinite speed and due to that an infinite mass. The Earth gets sucked into a huge black hole...

I wish you all a happy new year
Who cares for realism when you can be awesome?

Nanshork

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #302 on: December 31, 2010, 05:13:20 AM »
Wish granted, the chainsaw gains an infinite speed and due to that an infinite mass. The Earth gets sucked into a huge black hole...

I wish you all a happy new year

Wish granted, we all have a great new year because we steal everything you own and share it amongst the rest of us.

I wish I had someone to hang out with that wasn't crazy or an ex-girlfriend of mine.
My babies - A thread of random builds I've come up with over the years.
Notes to self

Kuroimaken

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #303 on: December 31, 2010, 05:04:16 PM »
Wish granted, the chainsaw gains an infinite speed and due to that an infinite mass. The Earth gets sucked into a huge black hole...

I wish you all a happy new year

Wish granted, we all have a great new year because we steal everything you own and share it amongst the rest of us.

I wish I had someone to hang out with that wasn't crazy or an ex-girlfriend of mine.

Wish granted, but unfortunately, that still leaves the annoying, the obnoxious, the depressed, the emos, and the transexuals, and they all want to hang out with you at the same time.

I wish I weren't fat.
Gendou Ikari is basically Gregory House in Kaminashades. This is FACT.

For proof, look here:

http://www.layoutjelly.com/image_27/gendo_ikari/

[SPOILER]
Which Final Fantasy Character Are You?
Final Fantasy 7
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Katana of Enlightenment.
Get yours.[/SPOILER]

I HAVE BROKEN THE 69 INTERNETS BARRIER!


Monotremeancer

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #304 on: December 31, 2010, 06:51:35 PM »
Wish granted, you are now semi-bulimic, meaning you do a lot of eating, but no puking.

I wish I could find a reason to use the fish-shaking smiley over at DeviantArt
Who cares for realism when you can be awesome?

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #305 on: January 13, 2011, 02:37:50 PM »
Wish granted!  You post it in the perfect thread, but you make the mistake of hotlinking it instead of saving it, and when the user later pulls it down that day, nobody in the thread gets to see the awesome that was the fish-shaking smiley.

I wish I could do 100 push-ups in a row.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Kuroimaken

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #306 on: January 13, 2011, 03:14:58 PM »
Wish granted!  You post it in the perfect thread, but you make the mistake of hotlinking it instead of saving it, and when the user later pulls it down that day, nobody in the thread gets to see the awesome that was the fish-shaking smiley.

I wish I could do 100 push-ups in a row.

Wish granted. Your arm, sadly, grows to such horrific proportions that you are now unable to reach behind yourself to wipe your bum.

I wish I could harness my awesome into a profitable activity.
Gendou Ikari is basically Gregory House in Kaminashades. This is FACT.

For proof, look here:

http://www.layoutjelly.com/image_27/gendo_ikari/

[SPOILER]
Which Final Fantasy Character Are You?
Final Fantasy 7
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Katana of Enlightenment.
Get yours.[/SPOILER]

I HAVE BROKEN THE 69 INTERNETS BARRIER!


Prime32

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #307 on: January 13, 2011, 04:20:38 PM »
I wish I could harness my awesome into a profitable activity.
Wish granted. You permanently become a biological component of a revolutionary new reactor which has no emissions and can power the entire world indefinitely, your limbs and part of your brain removed to reduce maintenance. This is highly profitable for its inventor, the Brazilian president, who is awarded multiple Nobel Prizes. A year later, members of your family are kidnapped by agents of other countries, similarly processed and used to power superweapons. The existence of these weapons soon provokes a war of unprecedented proportions which leads to the death of everyone on earth... except you. Having become immortal, you are trapped inside the reactor until the end of the universe.

I wish for a pair of sunglasses.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2011, 04:46:47 PM by Prime32 »
My work
The tier system in a nutshell:
[spoiler]Tier 6: A cartographer.
Tier 5: An expert cartographer or a decent marksman.
Tier 4: An expert marksman.
Tier 3: An expert marksman, cartographer and chef who can tie strong knots and is trained in hostage negotiation or a marksman so good he can shoot down every bullet fired by a minigun while armed with a rusted single-shot pistol that veers to the left.
Tier 2: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything, or the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.
Tier 1: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything and the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.[/spoiler]

Kuroimaken

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #308 on: January 13, 2011, 04:40:36 PM »
I wish I could harness my awesome into a profitable activity.
Wish granted. You permanently become a biological component of a revolutionary new reactor which has no emissions and can power the entire world indefinitely, your limbs and part of your brain removed to reduce maintenance. This is highly profitable for its inventor, the Brazilian president, who is awarded multiple Nobel Prizes. A year later, members of your family are kidnapped by agents of other countries, similarly processed and used as to power superweapons. The existence of these weapons soon provokes a war of unprecedented proportions which leads to the death of everyone on earth... except you. Having become immortal, you are trapped inside the reactor until the end of the universe.

I wish for a pair of sunglasses.

...wow. Went all-out for that one, didn't you?

I would find it more likely that the Brazillian president of the time screw it up.

I'd probably also develop mind powers at some point so I could rip myself off it.
Gendou Ikari is basically Gregory House in Kaminashades. This is FACT.

For proof, look here:

http://www.layoutjelly.com/image_27/gendo_ikari/

[SPOILER]
Which Final Fantasy Character Are You?
Final Fantasy 7
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Katana of Enlightenment.
Get yours.[/SPOILER]

I HAVE BROKEN THE 69 INTERNETS BARRIER!


Prime32

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #309 on: January 13, 2011, 04:45:58 PM »
...wow. Went all-out for that one, didn't you?
This is what happens after a Franken Fran Archive Binge.
My work
The tier system in a nutshell:
[spoiler]Tier 6: A cartographer.
Tier 5: An expert cartographer or a decent marksman.
Tier 4: An expert marksman.
Tier 3: An expert marksman, cartographer and chef who can tie strong knots and is trained in hostage negotiation or a marksman so good he can shoot down every bullet fired by a minigun while armed with a rusted single-shot pistol that veers to the left.
Tier 2: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything, or the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.
Tier 1: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything and the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.[/spoiler]

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #310 on: January 13, 2011, 05:52:52 PM »
Granted.  You get your pair of sunglasses... then Goro punches your face and ruins them.  Bastard!

I wish I could throw harpoons like scorpion and pull people around with relative ease and yell "Get over here!" like a total badass.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Mixster

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #311 on: January 13, 2011, 06:03:28 PM »
Granted you are now a bad, harpoon toting donkey.

I wish that I could fly.
Monks are pretty much the best designed class ever.

JaronK

Meep Meep - Mixster out

konner09

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #312 on: January 13, 2011, 06:28:15 PM »
Granted you are now a bad, harpoon toting donkey.

I wish that I could fly.
WIsh Granted but unfortunetly you get caught in a turbine.

I wish for a shoelace
[spoiler] Every generation has a teen heartthrob made for 16 and Tiger Beet magazine.

You can go back many years and there was a guy named Donny Osmond who probably every male teenager wanted to kick the crap out of. Leif Garrett, David Cassidy, The Mmm Bop kids, Justin timberlake, on and on.

This Bieber kid is just another of many over-hyped kids created? by the music machine geniuses to give them someone to grace the covers of 16 magazine and to get little teen girls excited. Random Youtuber [/spoiler]

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. - edgar allen poe

Sohala

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #313 on: January 13, 2011, 08:12:46 PM »
Granted, now only if you could find a second one, then you could tie your, non Velcro, non slip on, shoes.

I wish for more snow across the US.
"You think I'm talking about breaking the rules?"
"No I'm just trying to figure out how far you want them bent."
[spoiler]
Characters
Ixen-Elemental Mage Test Game
Torgthen-The Darkening
Eldak-The Neverending Dungeon
Games
Dungeon Delver's Delight
Adventures in Eberron
Town of Terror
Working Progress
[3.5] Mana Mage

PlzBreakMyCampaign

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #314 on: March 23, 2011, 12:56:24 AM »
Your wish is granted. Local reporters find that it is your wish that is the direct cause of a slight global downturn of temperatures. Al Gore hunts you down and shoots you in a rage.

If I had to wish for only one change, I wish everyone to be as wise as me.
[Spoiler]
Quote
An interesting read, nice to see a civil discussion
The point of Spell Resistance is to make it harder to get buffed.
And healed. Don't forget that.
Huge amounts of people are fuckwits. That doesn't mean that fuckwit is a valid lifestyle.
[/Spoiler]

Old Geezer's Law of Hobby Taste: The more objectively inconsequential a hobby is, the more disagreements within the community will be expressed in outrageously insulting, overblown, and ludicrously emotionally laden terms.

More Funny than Humble[Spoiler]
Quote from: PlzBreakMyCampaign
Your a shifter... you have all you ever need.
It blows MoMF out of the water

But if your greedy for more [Wish] for something that only effects you, like another class level or two that doesn't count against your ECL.
Quote from: hungryhungryhippo987
Yes, I'm the 3.0 "Masters of the Wild" shifter, the awesome kind. My favorite form to take is Force Dragon. Yes, I am immortal ... My character is hands down the coolest guy in the campaign and there is nothing I could possibly want.
PBMC gets a cookie for DotA r

Vinom

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #315 on: March 23, 2011, 02:58:27 AM »
Your wish is granted, you and everyone else is rendered as wise as a drunk spider monkey.

I wish that I had sandwich.
A player once asked me if there was any way to make a Tarrasque more evil... 3 sessions later he was stoned with D20s as the PC led an exidus out of the path of a Dire Tarrasque of Legendary Wonder.

Quote from:  Sarda the Sage
You're a quick thinker and spiteful, I can respect that. You won't be killed, Bikke

Never trust a smiling laughing chuckling grinning emotionless drunk, you know what Never Trust a DM!

78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature

Pulling off Pun-pun in 26 rounds

N00bs, because all gamers have to start somewhere

"Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from Science!"

Remember, Mobs are at least as stupid as their dumbest member.

konner09

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #316 on: March 23, 2011, 09:04:11 AM »
Wish granted you have a sandwich the best tasting sandwich ever, but  when the sandwich is fineshed you are stuck in a room  playing disney music at 350 decibals on a infinite loop.

I wish for a nividia Geforce 550
[spoiler] Every generation has a teen heartthrob made for 16 and Tiger Beet magazine.

You can go back many years and there was a guy named Donny Osmond who probably every male teenager wanted to kick the crap out of. Leif Garrett, David Cassidy, The Mmm Bop kids, Justin timberlake, on and on.

This Bieber kid is just another of many over-hyped kids created? by the music machine geniuses to give them someone to grace the covers of 16 magazine and to get little teen girls excited. Random Youtuber [/spoiler]

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. - edgar allen poe

Vinom

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #317 on: March 23, 2011, 09:19:56 AM »
Wish granted, you have achieved enlightenment at five hundred fifty times earth's gravity, and are mostly flattened into something not unlike week old vomit.

I wish I was out of this room.
A player once asked me if there was any way to make a Tarrasque more evil... 3 sessions later he was stoned with D20s as the PC led an exidus out of the path of a Dire Tarrasque of Legendary Wonder.

Quote from:  Sarda the Sage
You're a quick thinker and spiteful, I can respect that. You won't be killed, Bikke

Never trust a smiling laughing chuckling grinning emotionless drunk, you know what Never Trust a DM!

78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature

Pulling off Pun-pun in 26 rounds

N00bs, because all gamers have to start somewhere

"Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from Science!"

Remember, Mobs are at least as stupid as their dumbest member.

Nox_Noctis

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #318 on: March 27, 2011, 01:05:59 AM »
Wish granted! You are in the molten core of the Earth -- taking a test you haven't studied for -- in your underwear!

I wish I had a delicious pizza.
[spoiler]
[/spoiler]

Kuroimaken

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #319 on: March 27, 2011, 01:58:50 AM »
Wish granted! You are in the molten core of the Earth -- taking a test you haven't studied for -- in your underwear!

I wish I had a delicious pizza.

That sounds like a trivial task.

Wish granted. Unfortunately, it's made delicious by a poison that turns your white blood cells into rabid gerbils intent on devouring your intestines and genitals from the inside. Their saliva contains a substance that accelerates your perception to a ridiculously high ratio, so you feel like your body hasn't died for an entire century despite it only taking a few seconds.

I wish I were a girl. (Twist THIS one!)
Gendou Ikari is basically Gregory House in Kaminashades. This is FACT.

For proof, look here:

http://www.layoutjelly.com/image_27/gendo_ikari/

[SPOILER]
Which Final Fantasy Character Are You?
Final Fantasy 7
My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Katana of Enlightenment.
Get yours.[/SPOILER]

I HAVE BROKEN THE 69 INTERNETS BARRIER!