Author Topic: Wish Granted!  (Read 42000 times)

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RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #20 on: December 01, 2008, 01:13:43 AM »
Granted!  Despite his best efforts, he always burns your toast.

I wish my lava lamp didn't take so long to warm up.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Chemus

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #21 on: December 01, 2008, 05:21:29 AM »
Wish Granted! Your lava lamp now heats up at such an accelerated rate that it now is unable to radiate heat sufficiently. Consequently, the pressure cap, which is meant to keep it from actually exploding, flies off and a geyser of hot wax coats your ceiling and floor. Congratulations!

I wish that I had a spork.
*waves hand* This is not the sig you're looking for...
The freely downloadable and searchable 3.5 SRD I prefer (Web)
Camlen, Enniwey

Vynar

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #22 on: December 01, 2008, 09:44:21 AM »
Granted! The great spork nation you forgot about is not to happy about you taking their king. Theygo small soldiers on you.

I wish that Chemus was able to successfully wear 50,000 hats simultaneously.

skydragonknight

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #23 on: December 02, 2008, 12:55:50 AM »
Wish Granted! For a brief moment Chemus wore 50,000 cement hats simultaneously, all stacked neatly one on top of the other(and thus when the bottom one made contact with his head, he was wearing them all). Unfortunately his body(and especially his head) wasn't capable of supporting the weight of 50,000 cement hats, and even as he was crushed, the cement hats fell all around him crushing several people(including you) who just happened to be nearby.

I wish for Aftercrescent to have a new, working computer so he can keep DMing his game.
It always seems like the barrels around here have something in them.

BobismyRhino

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #24 on: December 02, 2008, 01:56:48 AM »
Wish granted. AC is getting his computer back tonight, as a matter of fact. But he has to go through me to get it. When I'm done with him, he'll be too tired to DM.  :smirk

I wish I already knew everything for my final exams.

People usually think that I've lost my mind. I haven't lost it, I know exactly where it is: the gutter.

My body is a temple. That is why I make chocolate sacrifices in it every day.

InnaBinder

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #25 on: December 02, 2008, 02:33:26 AM »
Wish granted. AC is getting his computer back tonight, as a matter of fact. But he has to go through me to get it. When I'm done with him, he'll be too tired to DM.  :smirk

I wish I already knew everything for my final exams.
[offtopic] Aww, poor, poor AC.  :rollseyes [/offtopic]
Wish granted!  You know everything for your final exams, now you only need to be able to express all that knowledge in the exam's surprise format: Interpretive Dance.

I wish I knew what my players were going to want to do on Friday, so I could better prepare.
Winning an argument on the internet is like winning in the Special Olympics.  You won, but you're still retarded.

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Chemus

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #26 on: December 03, 2008, 08:41:32 AM »
Wish Granted! You now know that most of them are not going to be playing your game; they've been invited to another game and are more interested in that one, though they will not notify you of this other game beforehand. All except for one player who will arrive at the game, order a medium pizza and proceed to eat the whole thing without offering you any. He will work against anything that you offer up for plot, even if it's completely random, but complain if you stop playing. You also know that if you attempt to take any pizza he will attempt to pin your hand to the table with a fork.

I wish that I weren't a prophet of doom.
*waves hand* This is not the sig you're looking for...
The freely downloadable and searchable 3.5 SRD I prefer (Web)
Camlen, Enniwey

Vynar

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #27 on: December 04, 2008, 01:22:13 PM »
Granted. Doom comes. You don't survive.

I wish for 200 acres of forest.

veekie

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #28 on: December 04, 2008, 03:32:05 PM »
Granted, they sprout from your rectum. You don't die from it.

I wish I had magic.
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."

Prime32

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #29 on: December 04, 2008, 04:00:58 PM »
I wish I had magic.
Wish granted. However, seconds later you are spotted by a red-headed girl who kills you and absorbs your magic into a book. :smirk

I wish for a mecha which only I can pilot.
My work
The tier system in a nutshell:
[spoiler]Tier 6: A cartographer.
Tier 5: An expert cartographer or a decent marksman.
Tier 4: An expert marksman.
Tier 3: An expert marksman, cartographer and chef who can tie strong knots and is trained in hostage negotiation or a marksman so good he can shoot down every bullet fired by a minigun while armed with a rusted single-shot pistol that veers to the left.
Tier 2: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything, or the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.
Tier 1: Someone with teleportation, mind control, time manipulation, intangibility, the ability to turn into an exact duplicate of anything and the ability to see into the future with perfect accuracy.[/spoiler]

skydragonknight

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #30 on: December 04, 2008, 08:47:42 PM »
Wish granted. However, seconds later you are spotted by a red-headed girl who kills you and absorbs your magic into a book. :smirk
OoG: interesting. link to more info?

IG: Wish granted! However, you time travel to USSR at the start of the cold war, but the mecha takes over your mind/soul and leads you frolicking through a large unpopulated area where due to you being there the Soviets decide to test their new nuclear weapon above-ground. On you. You don't survive.
Moral of the story: In Soviet Russia, Mecha pilots YOU.

I wish for a new car.
It always seems like the barrels around here have something in them.

BobismyRhino

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #31 on: December 04, 2008, 11:40:13 PM »
Wish granted! *plops a little Matchbox toy car down on the table* There ya go, champ!

I wish this dinner was more delicious than I thought it would be.  :puke

People usually think that I've lost my mind. I haven't lost it, I know exactly where it is: the gutter.

My body is a temple. That is why I make chocolate sacrifices in it every day.

veekie

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #32 on: December 05, 2008, 02:46:06 AM »
Wish granted. However, seconds later you are spotted by a red-headed girl who kills you and absorbs your magic into a book. :smirk
OoG: interesting. link to more info?
Here you go
EDIT:Theres a better one around, but I'm in a hurry, and my internet is on the fritz. The redhead is the right one though.

It is, it is also made of the distilled suffering of dying babies.

I wish for a pet zombie.
EDIT: I now wish I would stop killing Playground games. <.<
« Last Edit: December 06, 2008, 09:10:27 AM by veekie »
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."

skydragonknight

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #33 on: December 07, 2008, 02:27:20 AM »
I wish for a pet zombie.

Wish granted! You now have a pet zombie goldfish! It now swims on its side and upside down and smells just like a dead fish. Only it really moves!

I wish for a graviton generator to help me get into shape.
(kudos if someone posts the exact reference. hint: NOT DBZ)
It always seems like the barrels around here have something in them.

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #34 on: December 17, 2008, 08:13:35 PM »
Granted.  Unfortunately it requires more current than your electric service can provide.

I wish car shopping were more fun.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

j0lt

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #35 on: December 19, 2008, 04:03:13 PM »
Wish granted, car shopping is so much fun for you that out of sheer enjoyment you crapped your pants in the showroom.  Loudly.  And everyone noticed.

I wish life were more like the movies.
PbP Games
The Artifact (prologue) as Dr. Henry Loder, Mayan archaeologist


TheWordSlinger

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #36 on: December 19, 2008, 04:48:51 PM »
Wish Granted, You will be attacked by five ninja death squads today, enjoy.

I wish to ace my Financial Accounting final exam.
Currently playing:
Forte Lulz, Chaotic EVIL Bard bent on world domination;
Canere Potentia, to sing of power.
Aralaxax, Warforged Osteomancer, Machines are my people, I wield bones as other wield swords.
Randall Gray, she's not sexually confused, honest!
Zion "I can make followers, but why bother when people line up for me?"
Currently DMing: Real Men Use Their Hands, World's Largest Dungeon
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RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #37 on: December 19, 2008, 05:41:22 PM »
Wish granted.  Now you get to experience the fun of looking for an accounting job!

I wish I had a heated driveway to melt the snow.


Wish Granted, You will be attacked by five ninja death squads today, enjoy.
He should do just fine.  Everyone knows how horribly ninja death squads perform.  Now, a lone ninja would be different...
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

j0lt

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #38 on: December 19, 2008, 05:46:15 PM »
Wish Granted, You will be attacked by five ninja death squads today, enjoy.
He should do just fine.  Everyone knows how horribly ninja death squads perform.  Now, a lone ninja would be different...
Is this the part where I mention that I have a 3rd Dan in Ninjutsu?  (not joking)
PbP Games
The Artifact (prologue) as Dr. Henry Loder, Mayan archaeologist


veekie

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #39 on: December 19, 2008, 06:19:57 PM »
Wish granted, your driveway is now made of fresh lava. Your car is still on it.
I wish school would resume already.

Wish Granted, You will be attacked by five ninja death squads today, enjoy.
He should do just fine.  Everyone knows how horribly ninja death squads perform.  Now, a lone ninja would be different...
Is this the part where I mention that I have a 3rd Dan in Ninjutsu?  (not joking)
Are you alone?
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."