Author Topic: Wish Granted!  (Read 40747 times)

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Vinom

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #160 on: August 21, 2009, 07:52:12 AM »
I wish James Lipton would interview me.
Wish granted! After causing the death of a perfectly innocenct person (Vynar) he interviews you before you live on tv exicution, as voted for by the american viewers... You're fired out of a cannon into a wall of spikes.

I wish I was immortal, eternally young, and could survive anything with nought but some dust to brush off.
A player once asked me if there was any way to make a Tarrasque more evil... 3 sessions later he was stoned with D20s as the PC led an exidus out of the path of a Dire Tarrasque of Legendary Wonder.

Quote from:  Sarda the Sage
You're a quick thinker and spiteful, I can respect that. You won't be killed, Bikke

Never trust a smiling laughing chuckling grinning emotionless drunk, you know what Never Trust a DM!

78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature

Pulling off Pun-pun in 26 rounds

N00bs, because all gamers have to start somewhere

"Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from Science!"

Remember, Mobs are at least as stupid as their dumbest member.

Vynar

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #161 on: August 21, 2009, 03:21:32 PM »
Granted! You are horribly mutilated and crippled right before your wish is granted. Also, that dust happened to cocaine and you get to spend eternity in jail.

I wish that bhu turned into a 20 story cat monster under the light of the full moon.

Vinom

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #162 on: August 23, 2009, 07:38:31 AM »
Granted, but in order to rewrite history in order for that to be a possibility on earth's biosphere, human females breed asexually, and the males are mindless drones.

I wish this wish was without a random catastrophic failure to grant the premis without side effects.
A player once asked me if there was any way to make a Tarrasque more evil... 3 sessions later he was stoned with D20s as the PC led an exidus out of the path of a Dire Tarrasque of Legendary Wonder.

Quote from:  Sarda the Sage
You're a quick thinker and spiteful, I can respect that. You won't be killed, Bikke

Never trust a smiling laughing chuckling grinning emotionless drunk, you know what Never Trust a DM!

78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature

Pulling off Pun-pun in 26 rounds

N00bs, because all gamers have to start somewhere

"Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from Science!"

Remember, Mobs are at least as stupid as their dumbest member.

Vynar

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #163 on: August 23, 2009, 03:13:23 PM »
Granted! However on a completely unrelated note, you are pounded into a bloody pulp by Mr. T who mistook you for Josh. At least you got to hear him pitty the fool.

I wish for Zeke and Josh to fight in a steel cage match to the death armed only with ham sandwiches.

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #164 on: November 05, 2009, 09:17:08 PM »
Granted.  Unfortunately, with two of the three BGs dead, the board dies with them...

I wish Mountain Dew was actually good for your teeth and still tasted good, too.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Vinom

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #165 on: November 06, 2009, 06:29:25 AM »
I wish Mountain Dew was actually good for your teeth and still tasted good, too.
Granted. A single drop of mountain dew can regrow dental enamal, unfortunately, you can only find Mtn Dew
A player once asked me if there was any way to make a Tarrasque more evil... 3 sessions later he was stoned with D20s as the PC led an exidus out of the path of a Dire Tarrasque of Legendary Wonder.

Quote from:  Sarda the Sage
You're a quick thinker and spiteful, I can respect that. You won't be killed, Bikke

Never trust a smiling laughing chuckling grinning emotionless drunk, you know what Never Trust a DM!

78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature

Pulling off Pun-pun in 26 rounds

N00bs, because all gamers have to start somewhere

"Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from Science!"

Remember, Mobs are at least as stupid as their dumbest member.

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #166 on: November 06, 2009, 09:38:21 PM »
(you forgot to wish for something)
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Vinom

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #167 on: November 06, 2009, 10:08:10 PM »
I wish that I could fuck with time and space.
A player once asked me if there was any way to make a Tarrasque more evil... 3 sessions later he was stoned with D20s as the PC led an exidus out of the path of a Dire Tarrasque of Legendary Wonder.

Quote from:  Sarda the Sage
You're a quick thinker and spiteful, I can respect that. You won't be killed, Bikke

Never trust a smiling laughing chuckling grinning emotionless drunk, you know what Never Trust a DM!

78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature

Pulling off Pun-pun in 26 rounds

N00bs, because all gamers have to start somewhere

"Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from Science!"

Remember, Mobs are at least as stupid as their dumbest member.

Nanshork

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #168 on: November 06, 2009, 10:09:58 PM »
Congratulations!  You, time, and space have a hot steamy threesome and the universe implodes.


I wish for my upcoming birthday to not be lame.
My babies - A thread of random builds I've come up with over the years.
Notes to self

TheWordSlinger

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #169 on: November 06, 2009, 11:51:11 PM »
Congratulations, it was so unlame that you can't remember it and a stripper is now baring your child.

I wish for Magic cards.
Currently playing:
Forte Lulz, Chaotic EVIL Bard bent on world domination;
Canere Potentia, to sing of power.
Aralaxax, Warforged Osteomancer, Machines are my people, I wield bones as other wield swords.
Randall Gray, she's not sexually confused, honest!
Zion "I can make followers, but why bother when people line up for me?"
Currently DMing: Real Men Use Their Hands, World's Largest Dungeon
"If you can pretend to be a half-orc barbarian or a dwarf wizard then you can pretend to be an alpha male."-Ninjarabbit
"The hotel shop only had two decent books, and I'd written both of them."-Douglas Adams
"It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to." Xander Harris, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Vinom

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #170 on: November 07, 2009, 05:37:34 AM »
Congradulations, you have  a deck of tarot cards that will continue to deal them selves out, predicting your death which will happen as soon as they're on the table.

I wish fourth edition DnD was never released.
A player once asked me if there was any way to make a Tarrasque more evil... 3 sessions later he was stoned with D20s as the PC led an exidus out of the path of a Dire Tarrasque of Legendary Wonder.

Quote from:  Sarda the Sage
You're a quick thinker and spiteful, I can respect that. You won't be killed, Bikke

Never trust a smiling laughing chuckling grinning emotionless drunk, you know what Never Trust a DM!

78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature

Pulling off Pun-pun in 26 rounds

N00bs, because all gamers have to start somewhere

"Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from Science!"

Remember, Mobs are at least as stupid as their dumbest member.

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #171 on: November 09, 2009, 04:12:38 PM »
Granted.  WotC instead released 5th edition in June, 2008 figuring that 3.5 probably should have been 4th, so they changed the name of the current edition to 5th edition.  Nothing else other than the name has changed.

I wish I could consolidate all of the 3.5 material I have that I want to use into about half a dozen topic-relevant books, eliminating all the material I don't want.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

TheWordSlinger

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #172 on: November 09, 2009, 04:32:15 PM »
Granted, you do that very thing. Then someone steals that book for his own use and you're left with only the stuff you didn't want. Have fun with your Half-Elf Monk...

I wish my table disappeared in time to prevent prediction of my death.
Currently playing:
Forte Lulz, Chaotic EVIL Bard bent on world domination;
Canere Potentia, to sing of power.
Aralaxax, Warforged Osteomancer, Machines are my people, I wield bones as other wield swords.
Randall Gray, she's not sexually confused, honest!
Zion "I can make followers, but why bother when people line up for me?"
Currently DMing: Real Men Use Their Hands, World's Largest Dungeon
"If you can pretend to be a half-orc barbarian or a dwarf wizard then you can pretend to be an alpha male."-Ninjarabbit
"The hotel shop only had two decent books, and I'd written both of them."-Douglas Adams
"It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to." Xander Harris, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Vinom

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #173 on: November 09, 2009, 07:00:14 PM »
*Granted* But two seconds from now it'll go two seconds into the past, but it will then occupy the same place in space time as it did 2 seconds before. the explosion this causes sends wood shard into your brain...

I wish that I had a learners permit to kill.
A player once asked me if there was any way to make a Tarrasque more evil... 3 sessions later he was stoned with D20s as the PC led an exidus out of the path of a Dire Tarrasque of Legendary Wonder.

Quote from:  Sarda the Sage
You're a quick thinker and spiteful, I can respect that. You won't be killed, Bikke

Never trust a smiling laughing chuckling grinning emotionless drunk, you know what Never Trust a DM!

78% of DM's started their first campaign in a tavern. If you're one of the 22% that didn't, copy and paste this into your signature

Pulling off Pun-pun in 26 rounds

N00bs, because all gamers have to start somewhere

"Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from Science!"

Remember, Mobs are at least as stupid as their dumbest member.

RobbyPants

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  • Posts: 7139
Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #174 on: November 09, 2009, 07:31:06 PM »
Granted.  Unfortunately, you need to be accompanied by someone with a full fledged license, and they're all too busy to help.

I wish Taco Bell was just as good the next day microwaved as it is when you first get it.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Nanshork

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #175 on: November 09, 2009, 08:04:40 PM »
Granted, now fresh Taco Bell food tastes the same as next day microwaved.

I wish women from my past would stop randomly popping up having forgotten how badly they fucked me over.
My babies - A thread of random builds I've come up with over the years.
Notes to self

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #176 on: November 09, 2009, 08:38:40 PM »
Granted.  The remember the reason they fucked you over, and that's why they're here!

I wish to pass my electrical inspection in my basement this afternoon.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Nanshork

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #177 on: November 09, 2009, 08:41:06 PM »
Granted.  The remember the reason they fucked you over, and that's why they're here!

Please don't feed my paranoia.   :P
My babies - A thread of random builds I've come up with over the years.
Notes to self

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #178 on: November 10, 2009, 08:29:22 PM »
I wish to pass my electrical inspection in my basement this afternoon.
Ha!  Nobody circumvented my wish and it came true!  I passed my electrical inspection!

Unfortunately, I should have wished to pass the framing inspection too...  :banghead  Who would have known this thread was so powerful?
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

something random

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #179 on: January 23, 2010, 04:12:20 PM »
Wish granted you did wish that you would pass the framing inspection but the forums ate your post rendering your wish ungranted.
I wish people wouldn't bring games to a halt by not fallowing the games basic rules
Am I the only one who's mind was broken when they realized the implication of the existence of the aberration bloodline.