Author Topic: Wish Granted!  (Read 41286 times)

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mbtheory

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #140 on: July 21, 2009, 09:58:57 PM »
I wish I had an eraser for the my dry-erase markers.

Wish granted! You now have an eraser that erases markers! (See: Earthbound, the Eraser Eraser!)

I wish I had my very own Weighted Companion Cube!

Wish GRANted.  RemeEMber that accCELerAtion due to local GRAVity is set to 9.8m/s^2 and that your comPANION CUBe weighs 250 KILLograms.  Oh, and LOOK up.  *insert whistling sound of falling companion cube*

I wish I had my own personal medic.

dither

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #141 on: July 22, 2009, 04:34:06 PM »
I wish I had my own personal medic.

Wish Granted! Nurse Ratched will now be taking care of you personally during your stay at the Mental Hospital.

I wish there were no more licorice-flavored jellybeans. I hate those.
"Stuck between a rogue and a bard place."

vanity
Read my webcomic!
Dither's Amazing Changing Avatars

[spoiler]
Quote from: Shadowhunter
Quote from: Flay Crimsonwind
"Vegeta! What does the scouter say about Dither's power level?"
It's over nine thousand!

Quote from: Bauglir
Quote from: Anklebite
Quote from: dither
Well blow me down! :P
A SECTION OF THE CAVERN HAS COLLAPSED!
dither, Miner, has died after colliding with an obstacle!
[/spoiler]

InnaBinder

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #142 on: July 23, 2009, 12:37:23 AM »
I wish there were no more licorice-flavored jellybeans. I hate those.
Wish granted!  All jellybeans are now flavored lima bean, kiwi, and cauliflower.

I wish my players wouldn't disappear for a week at a time.
Winning an argument on the internet is like winning in the Special Olympics.  You won, but you're still retarded.

I made a Handbook!?

skydragonknight

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #143 on: July 23, 2009, 12:45:51 AM »
I wish my players wouldn't disappear for a week at a time.

Wish granted! They disappear for a month at a time.

I wish I had a lot more money than I do now.
It always seems like the barrels around here have something in them.

Chemus

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #144 on: July 23, 2009, 02:29:58 AM »
Wish Granted! Inflation for your currency goes through the roof; 400%. You get a 250% raise to compensate.

I wish that I had it all together.
*waves hand* This is not the sig you're looking for...
The freely downloadable and searchable 3.5 SRD I prefer (Web)
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dither

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #145 on: July 23, 2009, 04:33:59 AM »
I wish that I had it all together.

Wish granted! You've been picked up by a katamari! (You're the little screaming guy!)

I wish I could grant my own wishes!
"Stuck between a rogue and a bard place."

vanity
Read my webcomic!
Dither's Amazing Changing Avatars

[spoiler]
Quote from: Shadowhunter
Quote from: Flay Crimsonwind
"Vegeta! What does the scouter say about Dither's power level?"
It's over nine thousand!

Quote from: Bauglir
Quote from: Anklebite
Quote from: dither
Well blow me down! :P
A SECTION OF THE CAVERN HAS COLLAPSED!
dither, Miner, has died after colliding with an obstacle!
[/spoiler]

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #146 on: July 24, 2009, 03:43:53 PM »
Granted!  Unfortunately, the DM overseeing each wish is rather sadistic and puts a rediculous literal bent on anything you wish for.

I wish my back and neck would stop hurting.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

archangel.arcanis

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #147 on: July 24, 2009, 03:59:56 PM »
I wish my back and neck would stop hurting.

granted you are now literally a spineless blob, enjoy laying on the floor.

I wish i had a better job.
Clerics and Druids are like the 4 and 2 in 42. Together they are the answer to the ultimate question in D&D.
Retire the character before the DM smacks you with the Table as the book will feel totally inadequate now.-Hazren

mbtheory

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #148 on: July 24, 2009, 05:25:22 PM »

(Quoting)
I wish i had a better job.
(Not so quoting)

Wish granted!  You have managed to unlock hidden memories of a time in your life when the job you had fulfilled you mentally, spiritually, and physically!  Unfortunately, you also remember that you quit because you wanted to see what it felt like to, and we quote, "have a normal life," and your boss decided that remembering just how awesome the job you once had was might be psychologically damaging, which is why you couldn't remember it until now.

I wish for the world's most awesome hat.

Vynar

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #149 on: July 30, 2009, 07:05:20 PM »
Granted! But it is made out of a Flesh Jelly (MM2 I think?)

I wish that every nation in the world used the same curancy. Pancakes.

mbtheory

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #150 on: July 31, 2009, 12:50:46 AM »
Huh.  Am I now wearing the blob that archangel.arcanis just became?

In any event...

Wish granted!  Within hours, half of the new monetary supply is eaten.  Within days, the other half is exceptionally unhygienic to handle.  Economic ruin sets in as the populace attempts to get their hands on the raw materials to make new pancakes, but can't buy them because there are no pancakes left to use as a medium of trade.  Paralyzed by the inability to conceive of a world where they could simply hand over the foodstuffs that make pancakes, humanity rapidly reverts to barbarism.

I wish for limitless henchmen!

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #151 on: July 31, 2009, 03:42:07 AM »
Granted!  They get in your damn way all the time and it's impossible to get anything done.

I wish my beer mug was always cold and would refill with cold beer whenever I told it too.
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Nanshork

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #152 on: July 31, 2009, 07:22:41 AM »
Granted!  They get in your damn way all the time and it's impossible to get anything done.

I wish my beer mug was always cold and would refill with cold beer whenever I told it too.

Granted!  Your cold beer tastes like moose piss.

I wish that I had no RAM for my computer that worked.
My babies - A thread of random builds I've come up with over the years.
Notes to self

mbtheory

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #153 on: July 31, 2009, 07:34:08 PM »
Wish Granted!  Not that you'll be able to find out, of course, since you have no RAM.

I wish for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!

Chemus

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #154 on: August 01, 2009, 12:40:45 AM »
Wish Granted! It's a C/E Psion Sandwich and destroys your psyche. Your brains leak partway out your ears.

I wish for a condom. (Have no real use for one, but whatever.)
*waves hand* This is not the sig you're looking for...
The freely downloadable and searchable 3.5 SRD I prefer (Web)
Camlen, Enniwey

mbtheory

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #155 on: August 02, 2009, 05:33:32 PM »
Wish Granted!  No ironic twist.  We figure giving a condom to someone without a use for one is punishment enough.

I wish for the perfect whiskey!

dither

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #156 on: August 03, 2009, 08:43:51 PM »
I wish for the perfect whiskey!

Wish Granted! You're so enamored with this perfect drink that everything else pales in comparison and you're doomed to live the rest of your life with nothing that satisfies your tastes.

I wish I could meet some nice, smart, pretty girls who're interested in the same things I am and might want to date me.
"Stuck between a rogue and a bard place."

vanity
Read my webcomic!
Dither's Amazing Changing Avatars

[spoiler]
Quote from: Shadowhunter
Quote from: Flay Crimsonwind
"Vegeta! What does the scouter say about Dither's power level?"
It's over nine thousand!

Quote from: Bauglir
Quote from: Anklebite
Quote from: dither
Well blow me down! :P
A SECTION OF THE CAVERN HAS COLLAPSED!
dither, Miner, has died after colliding with an obstacle!
[/spoiler]

RobbyPants

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #157 on: August 03, 2009, 08:54:27 PM »
Granted!  They are into the same things as you (other women), and sadly, they don't want to date you.

I wish we had even more smilies here.

___

I wish my beer mug was always cold and would refill with cold beer whenever I told it too.

Granted!  Your cold beer tastes like moose piss.
I get Miller Lite?  Well, maybe I can sell it for a profit...
My balancing 3.5 compendium
Elemental mage test game

Quotes
[spoiler]
Quote from: Cafiend
It is a shame stupidity isn't painful.
Quote from: StormKnight
Totally true.  Historians believe that most past civilizations would have endured for centuries longer if they had successfully determined Batman's alignment.
Quote from: Grand Theft Otto
Why are so many posts on the board the equivalent of " Dear Dr. Crotch, I keep punching myself in the crotch, and my groin hurts... what should I do? How can I make my groin stop hurting?"
Quote from: CryoSilver
I suggest carving "Don't be a dick" into him with a knife.  A dull, rusty knife.  A dull, rusty, bent, flaming knife.
Quote from: Seerow
Fluffy: It's over Steve! I've got the high ground!
Steve: You underestimate my power!
Fluffy: Don't try it, Steve!
Steve: *charges*
Fluffy: *three critical strikes*
Steve: ****
Quote from: claypigeons
I don't even stat out commoners. Commoner = corpse that just isn't a zombie. Yet.
Quote from: CryoSilver
When I think "Old Testament Boots of Peace" I think of a paladin curb-stomping an orc and screaming "Your death brings peace to this land!"
Quote from: Orville_Oaksong
Buy a small country. Or Pelor. Both are good investments.
[/spoiler]

Vynar

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #158 on: August 19, 2009, 01:48:09 PM »
Granted! The smiles explode out of your monitor and get stuck on your face. This is going to get you beat up at that funeral you are about to attend............

I wish that Lupe Fiasco was preforming near me.

mbtheory

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Re: Wish Granted!
« Reply #159 on: August 21, 2009, 03:41:55 AM »
Wish Granted!  Lupe Fiasco will be performing in your nearest local bar.  The concert is being given in your name, and the programs all carry a message specially dedicated to you.  However, due to a copy/paste error, your name was put on a list of violent threats in the area.  You won't be able to get tickets for blood nor money, and security has been given your name and a perfect physical description with orders to terminate with extreme prejudice.  Oh, sure, they're confused--they've never been told to execute a gate crasher before--but they're far too professional to question it.

I wish James Lipton would interview me.