Airport security

[Omen of Peace]

...is a joke. It needs repeating.

From http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2008/10/me_helping_evad.html :

As we stood at an airport Starbucks, Schneier spread before me a batch of fabricated boarding passes for Northwest Airlines flight 1714, scheduled to depart at 2:20 p.m. and arrive at Reagan National at 5:47 p.m. He had taken the liberty of upgrading us to first class, and had even granted me "Platinum/Elite Plus" status, which was gracious of him. This status would allow us to skip the ranks of hoi-polloi flyers and join the expedited line, which is my preference, because those knotty, teeming security lines are the most dangerous places in airports: terrorists could paralyze U.S. aviation merely by detonating a bomb at any security checkpoint, all of which are, of course, entirely unsecured. (I once asked Michael Chertoff, the secretary of Homeland Security, about this. "We actually ultimately do have a vision of trying to move the security checkpoint away from the gate, deeper into the airport itself, but there's always going to be some place that people congregate. So if you're asking me, is there any way to protect against a person taking a bomb into a crowded location and blowing it up, the answer is no.")

Schneier and I walked to the security checkpoint. "Counterterrorism in the airport is a show designed to make people feel better," he said. "Only two things have made flying safer: the reinforcement of cockpit doors, and the fact that passengers know now to resist hijackers." This assumes, of course, that al-Qaeda will target airplanes for hijacking, or target aviation at all. "We defend against what the terrorists did last week," Schneier said. He believes that the country would be just as safe as it is today if airport security were rolled back to pre-9/11 levels. "Spend the rest of your money on intelligence, investigations, and emergency response."

Schneier and I joined the line with our ersatz boarding passes. "Technically we could get arrested for this," he said, but we judged the risk to be acceptable. We handed our boarding passes and IDs to the security officer, who inspected our driver's licenses through a loupe, one of those magnifying-glass devices jewelers use for minute examinations of fine detail. This was the moment of maximum peril, not because the boarding passes were flawed, but because the TSA now trains its officers in the science of behavior detection. The SPOT program -- Screening of Passengers by Observation Techniques -- was based in part on the work of a psychologist who believes that involuntary facial-muscle movements, including the most fleeting "micro-expressions," can betray lying or criminality. The training program for behavior-detection officers is one week long. Our facial muscles did not cooperate with the SPOT program, apparently, because the officer chicken-scratched onto our boarding passes what might have been his signature, or the number 4, or the letter y. We took our shoes off and placed our laptops in bins. Schneier took from his bag a 12-ounce container labeled "saline solution."

"It's allowed," he said. Medical supplies, such as saline solution for contact-lens cleaning, don't fall under the TSA's three-ounce rule.

"What's allowed?" I asked. "Saline solution, or bottles labeled saline solution?"

"Bottles labeled saline solution. They won't check what's in it, trust me."

They did not check. As we gathered our belongings, Schneier held up the bottle and said to the nearest security officer, "This is okay, right?" "Yep," the officer said. "Just have to put it in the tray."

"Maybe if you lit it on fire, he'd pay attention," I said, risking arrest for making a joke at airport security. (Later, Schneier would carry two bottles labeled saline solution -- 24 ounces in total -- through security. An officer asked him why he needed two bottles. "Two eyes," he said. He was allowed to keep the bottles.)

[Elennsar]

And the benefit is supposed to be that we're comforted by this?

I think I'd prefer load speakers reciting the Lord's Prayer. And I'm not Christian.

[Johannixx]

Airport security is indeed a joke, and for more than these reasons.  A year or two ago, I had some nailclippers confiscated because they had a nailfile on them.  The lady behind me got through with a pair of 18" aluminum knitting needles. 

One TSA douchebag nearly blinded himself with my SureFire flashlight.  He said "What's this for?"  I replied, "To see in the dark."  He handed it back to me and I boarded the plane (though, of course, there's no rule about carrying flashlights on the plane, as long as they're not large enough to serve as a bludgeon).

I've seen people carry Cold Steel 'city stick' canes onto the plane.  Those things, while technically a cane, are also a fully functional mace.

Plus, what's stopping the cleaning crew or pilots from bringing a weapon around the security screening checkpoints?  Airport security is a joke, plain and simple.  If anything, all it's doing is making us accustomed to being strip-searched.  It's the camel's nose under the sidewall of the tent.  Schools are already heading that direction.  How long until you can't go into a grocery store without being cavity searched?  Washington and Jefferson would be appalled.

[AndyJames]

*shrug*

Ban guns. Shoot all people carrying illegal firearms on sight. Illegal being anyone who is not the police in civilian areas and not police/military in military areas.

Problem solved. Don't need them stripsearches anymore

[Elennsar]

 

I'd type an actual response, but the emoticon sums it up, particularly given how people treat the pathetic restrictions that do exist. (Pathetic as in they don't limit much and they don't do much good either.)

[Sunic_Flames]

Holy fucking shit. That's hilarious. And by hilarious, I mean pathetic.

[Tshern]

You've seen George Carlin's little rant about this, right?

[Sunic_Flames]

You've seen George Carlin's little rant about this, right?

Nope. That's that hilarious comedian guy who died recently right?

[Tshern]

You've seen George Carlin's little rant about this, right?

Nope. That's that hilarious comedian guy who died recently right?

Yes.

[Irthos Levethix]

You've seen George Carlin's little rant about this, right?

Was it a recent one?  'Cause I don't remember seeing that either.  Think you could find a link?

[Kari]

Here you go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6qdH8iji5o

[Sinfire Titan]

*shrug*

Ban guns. Shoot all people carrying illegal firearms on sight. Illegal being anyone who is not the police in civilian areas and not police/military in military areas.

Problem solved. Don't need them stripsearches anymore

Doing so violates the second amendment, so that won't work (the Bill of Rights should not be compromised). Also, we tried that with booze, and that got us screwed hard. The exact same thing would happen with guns, as many a redneck would rather die than lose the right to hunt.

[Omen of Peace]

Doing so violates the second amendment, so that won't work (the Bill of Rights should not be compromised).

Except if it's meant to allow them only for militias.

Also, we tried that with booze, and that got us screwed hard. The exact same thing would happen with guns, as many a redneck would rather die than lose the right to hunt.

But yeah, I don't see it happening anytime soon.

[Johannixx]

Doing so violates the second amendment, so that won't work (the Bill of Rights should not be compromised).

Except if it's meant to allow them only for militias.

Also, we tried that with booze, and that got us screwed hard. The exact same thing would happen with guns, as many a redneck would rather die than lose the right to hunt.

But yeah, I don't see it happening anytime soon.

SCOTUS kind of shot that down, you know.  After all, why should "the people" mean one thing throughout the Constitution, and another thing in that one amendment?

Besides, we all know complete bans work, right?  I mean, it worked for booze, right?  It's working for heroin, cocaine, marijuana, meth, rape, robbery and murder, right?

[Elennsar]

I'm reasonably sure that the Constitution is deliberately indecipherable in regards to gun ownership. It made absolutely perfect sense in the context of the times, but those times are not the present, so...

[Sinfire Titan]

Besides, we all know complete bans work, right?  I mean, it worked for booze, right?  It's working for heroin, cocaine, marijuana, meth, rape, robbery and murder, right?

The instant murder is legalized, half the country will be killed off violently. Most of those deaths will be my fault, as I have chainsaw nunchucks and a half-a-mind to wipe out humanity.

[Elennsar]

Does that mean that the other half of your mind is a pacifist, or just lazy?

[Sinfire Titan]

Does that mean that the other half of your mind is a pacifist, or just lazy?

The other half of my mind is human, but I don't talk about him.

[Elennsar]

Bummer. Nothing you can do about being half human, I guess.

[Sinfire Titan]

Bummer. Nothing you can do about being half human, I guess.

Who said I'm a half-breed? Chaos Spawn. I was formerly human, and have been turned into an Eldritch Abomination by my own god. Half of me is still human (the part that remembers my human life is messed up, but still there), and the other half of me wants to put this world into damnation just for kicks.