Amusing RL stories that need to be told

[Sinfire Titan]

Bridget>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>You.

Not that I doubt the odds of this happening.

It's because he's a trap, ain't it.

He's a trap that 40% of the internet would still trip on though.

[Kuroimaken]

He's a trap that 40% of the internet would still trip on though.

Frankly? Only on doujinshi with Ranma Mode On. Or his sister.

[X-Codes]

Yo-yo's were initially invented as weapons.

[CountArioch]

Chinese yo-yos were also invented as weapons. 



At least, that's what my brothers and I always used them for.

[Kuroimaken]

...Please tell me you're kidding.

[CountArioch]

It's funny to smack someone in the head with a chinese yoyo when they're not expecting it.  Try it sometime!

[Vynar]

At one point in the lounge at college I was talking about dnd with some people. My goal was to suggest a large amount of absurd things, I really don't remember the details. Anyway, after being told that I am epic failing. I grab somebody's d20 and declare that I am going to make a fortitude save against failing. I rolled a natural one.

[Bozwevial]

So, my boss send this to the SALES department:

"... we need to focus more on sales..."

My immediate thought was: "Yes, sir. We will now take our hands out of our pants where they've been busy all this while, and get right on it. Business before pleasure... yessiree!"

Then, I rolled a natural 20 on my Will save and managed to not blurt it out.

Rats...

My response would have been something like this: "The sales department needs to focus more on sales? Stop the fucking presses."

I'd have been on the street in seconds, but it would have been worth it.

[AndyJames]

With the current financial crisis, that would be a silly thing for me to do, Boz. I appreciate the sentiment though. It made me

[Ubernoob]

So, there's this guy I went to high school with.  We'll call him A.  I didn't really hang with A during high school, but we had classes together for all four years.  Essentially he knew me even though he wasn't in my circle.  Anyways, I set up a facebook back at the start of the semester.  We ended up exchanging AIM addresses and chatting fairly regularly.

Anyways, he goes to a university that has like a 10:1 girl/guy ratio.  He has kept coming to me for advice on chicks (dunno why, I don't get that much ass... oh right, that's by choice).  I've been advising him on this one chick for about two weeks, right?  Well, during this whole period he's never once called or texted me.  Just IM.

So yesterday morning I turn on my phone to get a text message to the effect of:
A: This is [Ubernoob] right?
Me: Yeah.  What's up?
A: Dude!  I fucked that girl!  Thanks for all the advice!
Me: Well, congrats.  Glad I could help you get laid.

He was excited enough that he contacted me via phone at 9 in the morning.

[Kuroimaken]