Share: Weird, WhiskyTangoFoxtrot Moments

[AndyJames]

OK. So in this campaign we have a Monk 1/Cleric 10 // Wildshape Ranger 5/Master of Many Forms 6. He likes to change shapes and do things like fight, scout, etc. in non-human forms. But because he doesn't like to waste his Wildshapes, he stays in whatever form he happens to be in long after the reason for the form change is over.

One day, he is in the form of a Dire Hawk (Races of the Wild) and, seeing his partner-in-crime sitting at a very posh restaurant overlooking the park, he decided to join in. In hawk form. Now, imagine a man-sized hawk with horns diving down at the open varendah of an ultra-posh restaurant. Imagine the chaos, the screams, the broken cutlery. Anyway, he settles down on a seat opposite his partner, who is one of those stoic, deadpan, "whatever, man" type of guys who didn't even bat an eyelash at finding himself staring at a man-sized bird.

The cook, who happened to be a caricature of that horrible French chef on TV (who seems to think that the bigger a donkey that he is means the better a chef he is), runs out brandishing a cleaver. The MoMF knocks him out with a Flurry of IUS set to non-lethal. The cops arrive. MoMF gets arrested. MoMF starts screaming about his civil and animal rights.

Now, there's a WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot moment right there...

So the DM says: "And the civil rights bill says that slaughtering animals is not a crime. Animals slaughtering people is punishable with death.

Your call "

To which another player (his partner mentioned above), a Dread Necro, goes, "Can I raise your corpse as an undead if you were *unfortunately* sentenced to death?"

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Yeah, I play with some wacky people Anyone else got some of these stories to share?

[Bauglir]

Hm, here's one I caused. I'm playing this extremely Chaotic Neutral warlock. The rest of the party, for one reason or another, has left me alone. Near a lake. With access to modern technology. So, I tell the DM I start making ice cubes with Hellrime Blast, and he says "Sure, whatever" and goes back to DMing the other party members. About 10 minutes later, I say, "Ok, now I stack them and sculpt them into the shape of a five story duck. That's a natural 20 on my craft check." At this point, there is laughter and odd looks. Then I tell him I go into town and purchase a pair of spotlights, a portable generator, and some red plastic wrap, which I then place in the duck's eye sockets, giving it bright red, glowing, searchlight eyes.

I probably shouldn't play slightly insane characters very often.

[dman11235]

Bauglir, you forgot about the part where the ghost subsequently possessed it.

[Bauglir]

So I did. A ghost possessed and animated the duck. Note that the duck wasn't sculpted to have functioning wings. Or feet, for that matter.

[bhu]

I once had a group playing member of the Mountain Patrol (think sherrifs) in a rural city.  They were told they had to guard an incredibly powerful Elf Sorcerer who was:

A) Completely batshit insane, but easily persuadable (i.e. they'd have to talk him into staying).

B) Powerful enough to bring down hte side of a mountain, and capable of leaving at any time.


However he kind of liked the place as since he was incredibly good looking he had many conjugal visits, and the locals provided him with fresh tea for Rosco.

Rosco was his familiar.

Rosco was also a dead bird floating in a pot of tea, which the elf occasionally took a sip from.

DId I mention the prisoner was named "Elfie"?

Surprisingly the night turned out to be pretty fun despite my trying to make the players do spit takes in their mountain dew.

[RobbyPants]

In one of the last games I ran, three players were casters (cleric, druid, and conjurer).  Two players new to my group (who claimed to be power gamers) rolled up a monk and a fighter.  I later found out most of their power gaming came from a poor understanding of the rules and by playing with other DMs who would let anything fly.  The monk's player actually marvled at how broken the monk class is.  :-\

Anyway, the monk had a crappy AC as could be expected and the player kept asking for Bracers of Armor.  I told him I'd work something in.  Later, they found a Ring of Chameleon Power (roughly 12,000 gp) and he took it because he had the fewest items.  Soon, they'd traveled to a large enough city that he could sell the ring and get something else.  Perfect.  Now he can afford Bracers +3 with some cash to spare, right? 

What's he buy?  A Glove of Storing.

Why?  Because it'd be kewl to hide a weapon in it to catch someone off guard.  Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!?!  He's a monk!!! Any (and I mean any) part of his body is a weapon he can catch someone off guard with!

That was money well spent.  And he wondered why his PC sucked.

[woodenbandman]

Some few that I've personally experienced:

One of the players in my group wanted a weapon that changed sizes. So the DM gives him one. Problem is, it turns him into a woman whenever he wields it. And he fails to notice. One time, we were attacked by lycanthropes, and he made it collosal in the inn we were staying at, and then he discovered that it turned him into a woman. We decided that it couldn't be trusted to him, so we took it away from him. I decided that my character wouldn't mind holding it, and the instant I grabbed it, I put on my best Barry White voice and said "y'know, I don't really feel all that different."

Another time, a player tried to cut off a piece of an everburning torch and put it in a jar, so that it wouldn't be extinguished by the water.

Now, for the gem that I've only heard about but cracks me up to this day:

One time, this group encountered a great wyrm dragon. One of the players asked if he could have some killer tahitian dragonweed, to smoke with the dragon. So they started smoking, and they both (dragon and PC) died. When asking the DM why, she simply replied: "Dude: it's killer tahitian dragonweed."

[Nox_Noctis]

Hm, here's one I caused. I'm playing this extremely Chaotic Neutral warlock. The rest of the party, for one reason or another, has left me alone. Near a lake. With access to modern technology. So, I tell the DM I start making ice cubes with Hellrime Blast, and he says "Sure, whatever" and goes back to DMing the other party members. About 10 minutes later, I say, "Ok, now I stack them and sculpt them into the shape of a five story duck. That's a natural 20 on my craft check." At this point, there is laughter and odd looks. Then I tell him I go into town and purchase a pair of spotlights, a portable generator, and some red plastic wrap, which I then place in the duck's eye sockets, giving it bright red, glowing, searchlight eyes.

I probably shouldn't play slightly insane characters very often.

Maybe it's just me, but it seems like spotlights would melt ice. Of course, magical lights are totally different.

[Bauglir]

I, uh, kept refreezing it. Yeah, I suppose they would give off a lot of heat, wouldn't they. Oh, well.