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Once upon a time, marshmallows were resting in an oven. The Lady loved marshmallows since living in 1930's Germany, which was ironic, given that giraffes were living there too, although they didn't like the marshmallows use of the word Longneck as they found it very stereotypical, not all giraffes are related to Littlefoot in any way whatsoever but those who are think that three-horns are lame because they always to argue about why fish can't fly. Or could they? Some said they could, how could he be sure? He really didn't care, he wanted a sandwich and a beer from the ice chest in the bottom of the ocean where the purple crabs gargled dreams and lolipops and played the banjo until Spongebob came on and they grew tired of the inferior stringed instrument. "Blasphemy!" the lobster cried, dumbfounding the crabs. Banjos rule, electric guitar drool, drooling awesomeness across the world. The lady's Cthulhoid Schizophrenia was almost as scary as pickles but usually harmless. Good thing, too for hallucinations are like roller-coasters. Your head spins when you do L.S.D. to avoid the realness of going to school without pants taped to your ears since her ears look like a banana phone. Then, one day it happened, the brain damage was too severe and she died. However... (Dun dun DUN) There was another Skywalker but he tripped in the brushy ice garden full of magic weasels of doom each named Dave, though luckily the aforementioned ice garden was actually Megatron taking a nap and Skywalker, who was afraid, cried like a sissy and the brines of the deep got busy on their usual silk sheets. "Whoa, thats hot!" said Smokey the Bear, in his beastly might while eating a spicy habanero pepper made of tulips grown from the fiery pits of King Kong's arms where Lord Two-Tone nestled, plotting his sweet revenge! Mwa ha ha ha! But one day, when he was not feeling so well, he burninated the peasants with his fiery Jester Hat of Doom +1, which he had obtained by mutilating seventy-three well fed horses with his toes and consuming strange, fur covered hides using chop sticks to find the very best yummy meat. After that, Archangel Michael went to the local Target store for his regular purchase of Twizzlers but he slipped and fell of the path of enlightenment. This caused the mutant double helix strand to whiz about the playground and slam into Donkey Kong resulting in a Giant in the Playground eating a banana of love. This meant, to the uninitiated, absolutely nothing but a huge pile of lubricant went unused, so the giant and Michael decided to play basketball, passing back and forth between two half elf lycanthropes who were quite slippery. Then, out of nothing in particular, the Lady Queen of Optimization pulls out an enormous set of old documents containing the Lost Myths of Meg. "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! Not the long lost Myths!" screamed the people, whom I know from my long journeys to the center of the Neverending Story thread. Then, quite suddenly, with a loud crash, rampaging, blood-thirsty, feral Gleemax, the dark places we fled, devours the Optimization Queen and slew the mighty giant. Michaelangelo and Gleemax then looked for the unused lube in the fortress of sunshine and lubricate the world to lower greenhouse emissions because Al Gore said, "Giant, I want you to pee on my jellyfish wound." This enraged the giant, who ate Al Gore lightly toasted, on rye. The sandwich artisan then summoned the storm of whirling blades in pickle jars, where at the moment the Spanish Inquisition was performing, because no one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Invariably curious, the artisan studied for days on end for an answer to the question. The answer was forty-two, but what was the question? It was so simple, yet no one could figure it out since they had all figured it inside the insane asylum because work was easier there, especially with all the happy pills and testicular clamps - wait, crap... Pain made them realize the question "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?". Everyone gasped in horror as Chuck Norris chucked the wood which blew up revealing Dr. Wily! And lo, the Man of Mega, the Blue Boy Wonder, Al Gore dressed up, wielding naught but his whining and loneliness, descended upon the hapless Dr. Wily caught in his nightgown and little teacup. Why was he in a teacup? And so, the question was found. Chuck Norris and Al Gore went up the hill to save Bambi and Michael from a pack of worgs each painted in a color to drive fear in the hearts of squirrels, but Chuck is never gay enough to feel fear. Then Al fell down and punched a hole in the atmosphere, causing the whole world to come tumbling after Man-Bear-Pig, the half-man, half-bear-pig, or was it a giant ball of mutated lettuce scum with a severe case of cheesewrought kobold brie, which made no sense at all! But what did make sense was when Chuck pummeled Al for having a bad case of mudbutt during the previous tennis match between the Lords of the Nine and Venus and Serena Williams, while baking delicious pies ('cause pie rules), but as you imagined the pie was replaced by superior cake! Thus, the tennis match was more or less a complete disaster judging by the seemingly endless rain of garbage and feces from the crowd. "Mmm... feces," said Homer while strangling the Cookie Monster, in an attempt to make the cake not as big a lie as pie has been over the many ages not very filling. In an effort to rid himself of parasites, Jesus quit his job at Wal-Mart, and applied at the local Coffee shop, where they had really good blintzes, and lots of hotties in short (Male hotties, actually, he discovered later but was already trapped by the savory aromas) barrel-chested squids in tiny, tiny chicken flavored green baguette hoods. On his first day at the job, Jesus learned the ins and outs of enhancing the "Special Sauce" he made with the Archangel Micheal out back behind the dumpster, where at the moment Satan and his crew were cooking up a spicy hot tubesteak stew, with a side of Master Work Sausage links, but out of nowhere Jesus and pals skated down the Tarrasque's gullet and said that Satan is Pun-Pun's son and he laughed, and laughed, and while dangling from a drum spit on Satan's tubesteak. So, they all rejoiced, and did a little dance, behind the hardware store. Meanwhile, the Lady in Red had taken a shot of 22 calibur bullets to her Achilles tendon, causing acute achondroplasia, which made her too short to ride the Lord Satan's huge inverted, double-looped roller coaster. Jesus, Satan, and the Lady in Red hit the casino's with Micheal instead. Jesus really liked playing the sluts who were currently slightly mispelled which would cause confusion if it weren't for the appearance of the one and only Elvis, live and in concert singing One Track Heart, which clarified EVERYTHING. The one day that the "sluts" were open Jesus won a free tour to the Land Before Time where Littlefoot and Ducky were really racist (seriously) without the tyranny of Holy Roman Emperor and celebrity talk-show host Craig Ferguson bashing basement cats with baby seals who never stood a chance against the voodoo power of the Voodoo Witch from Kentucky, a most feared badger of royal descent, who notified the police of Denmark. Craig Ferguson was is in fact an alien. He started to radio a message in a bottle to warn Ender Wiggins of anorexic clown bombs lined up end to end peeing off a cliff into tiny buckets. It was a dark and stormy night in a little rural village in <spooky voice> Pennsylvania </spooky voice> stood a hungry apple pie and his small sidekicks decided to go to the Big Apple for some midnight sushi sold by Alligator Sam who works undercover for the Men in Black. Naturally, they had no money to buy the tools to carve pumpkins, so they used their razor sharp nose to hold up a baby carrot vendor in drag racing attire carrying none other than Dr. Zoidberg, who just wanted the answer to "Coke or Pepsi?". This question was asked again except backwards, "Pepsi or Coke?", but it still didn't make sense so the carrot vendor smited a leopard's pet donkey...
