Author Topic: Playing the opposite gender.  (Read 11252 times)

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GawainBS

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Playing the opposite gender.
« on: August 23, 2008, 08:19:07 PM »
No doubt we've all had this happen in our group: an idiot decides to play a woman and in less than 5 minutes, the character has become a slut. Strangely enough, girls always seem to play girls.
However, have you also had players who managed quite well? Who played a normal (in the amount that a D&D PC is normal) woman?

In one of our current campaigns, I'm playing a female character, and according to my fellows, I'm doing it quite ok.

Orion

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #1 on: August 23, 2008, 11:15:23 PM »
I've seen that happen, yeah. The problem seems to be that someone (often the player, but not always) assumes that "she's a chick" is the full extent of the character's personality, and therefore all the subsequent actions she takes and decisions she makes are based on "I'm a woman, therefore..." Now, add in a player and/or DM who thinks that all women are defined by their sexuality (read: their boobs), and you have a recipe for disaster. Often the character becomes a projection of what the player would like women to act like (i.e., someone who sleeps with any man she comes across), but even worse is when the DM basically projects systematic sexism at the character (i.e., she gets raped every ten minutes).

If the character is using "her" sexuality to solve in-game problems (e.g., "We don't have to beat up that guard. I'll just take off my top!"), then you can just have that solution not work. ("Okay, you're not shirtless in the middle of the battle. Congratulations, moron.") If a DM goes out of his way to make a female character's life a living hell then... you're screwed. Just don't play with that group any more.

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #2 on: August 23, 2008, 11:44:09 PM »
I was in a hurry once and grabbed a female mini. I pretty much just played her like I would any other Wizard.

AstralFire

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2008, 12:37:30 AM »
I have played (a few times) and DMed (more often) a female character. I do this by remembering two things at all times:

1. Women are not men.
2. Women are more like men than they are not like men.

I generally work from a base of a real female I know, then start adding permutations. I'm told my women are extremely believable.

I am unfortunately reminded, however, of a PC I played alongside who -was- a woman. A very sexy one. Eventually all of the rest of us pulled out because she used her character basically to flirt with the DM to try and wrap things around to her side. The DM was uncomfortable with it, and it pissed most of the rest of us off. Except for the guy who wanted to be her boyfriend that she basically played like a puppet. He was power gamer supremo, and basically was her full-level cohort that destroyed everything that irritated her as a result. Nevermind that she was married.

Thankfully, my girlfriend isn't a horrible person and I haven't had issues like that with any of the other girls I've gamed with. Had the good fortune to rarely deal with someone playing opposite gender as a stereotype or fantasy.


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RobbyPants

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2008, 12:51:39 AM »
I've certainly seen it done poorly.  I had someone joing the group mid-campaign once, and he made a female drow.  Not only was she slutty, but he got into very explicit details (positions and what not) with his character and my much younger brother's character's "encounter".  After a couple of sentences, I told them "you two do your thing" and we moved on.  I didn't really need that shit.

I have a female friend I've played with for several years.  Only once that I can remember has she rolled a male PC.  Out of the other players, she was the one who's always most into roleplaying.  So, her character had a girlfriend (and wife later, IIRC).  I don't remember her running her PC as a stereotypical guy, at least not as bad as what you see when a guy runs a female PC.

I'd say roughly a quarter to a third of my PCs are female.  It depends on the class more than anything how I play them.
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Zuki

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2008, 01:47:34 AM »
While my longest-running roleplaying character on a MUD was male, he was also nonhuman. With that noteable exception, the overwhelming majority of my characters are female, like myself. I suppose that I could play a male character but it never seemed necessary to the concept, or comfortable. Actually, one of my more successful character concept was a deliberate inversion of the expected. She was a female gnoll, and extrapolating on the idea that gnolls are from a matriarchal society (hyenas are), she was a rowdy boisterous brawler, fond of alcohol, aggressively flirting with an occasional side of objectifying men, and the notion that starting a friendly fight was a good way to get to know somebody. She was tons of fun. That's probably the closest I ever got to playing a stereotypical 'male' character.

In general though, I think I'm still working on my roleplaying technique, rather than having everyone react like a recolour of me, but with a more idiosyncratic way of speaking. Playing more animalistic, anthropomorphic, or otherwise further-from-human races is a way to get some extra roleplaying mileage as I speculate about the psychological differences and get to roleplay/emote the quirks of physiology.

So I've never felt comfortable with the idea of roleplaying male characters the same way I'd never felt comfortable writing fanfiction: sure I was going to get some small details wrong that would throw the whole thing off. I might take Astral's advice in the future if I was ever inclined to change that though; a swashbuckler-and-fedora version of my younger brother would be fun, and I'm pretty sure I could at least give that good shot.

I'll second Astral's observation that it's not only men who start in with the "My large breasts equal mind control!" power-fantasy. The one time one of the DMs at my old university tried to whip up a quick fantasy GURPS game, his girlfriend (who didn't usually play) wanted to solve every problem with beauty, mind control, and sex appeal. He wasn't egging her on or trying to reward this tactic (though it was ruled to work a few times), but it was...disruptive. Although that wasn't the only factor, we dropped the game after one session.

Guyr Adamantine

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #6 on: August 24, 2008, 01:57:36 AM »
I've played a lot of female character in my gaming life. None of them were sluts.

The two I got the fondest memory of were a paladin (Antithesis of the Slut) and a vampire rogue (That one could have gone bad, but I decided that a vampire, while sexy, was a Monster)

To play the opposite gender without bad results, two things:

1) Your gender does not define your character. Stereotypes suck. If your character description can be summed as "she's a chick" (Or "he's a guy", for that matter), you are doing it wrong. People have characteristics that make them unique, and as half the population is composed of one sex or the other, it does not define anyone to have a penis.

2) Give yourself a chance, play who you would like as a girl/boyfriend. You aren't used to it. You don't know what the hell it means to have breasts or a wang. As your closest point of reference to the opposite sex is who you have some with, try to emulate those quirks you like and behaviour patterns. It might sound stupid, but its inside those subtle details in the mindset that makes a realistic character. Beside, its easier to become what you like than what you hate, huh?
« Last Edit: August 24, 2008, 02:11:48 AM by Guyr Adamantine »

j0lt

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #7 on: August 24, 2008, 01:58:18 AM »
Probably the best D&D character I ever played was a woman.  My DM had just gotten the Complete Warrior book, and I really wanted to make a Spellsword, so I came up with the background of an Elven noble's daughter.  Her parents fully intended her to become a wizard and had spared no expense getting her into the best magic college in the area.  She, however, had dreams of being a swords(wo)man.
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dman11235

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #8 on: August 24, 2008, 02:12:06 AM »
I've played them all.  Mostly because half the time the campaigns I'm in last for one session, but the rest of the time, I get some good characters out of it.  Heck, the last character I made was a girl.  Female Waterbender named Katari.  What?  I was in a rush!  Wasn't an exact copy.....  I've also played a female dervish (loooong time ago....before I was even good at character building).  Most of my characters are male though, it just helps my ability to play unique characters to mix it up.  And I have been told that my characters are usually really cool.  Like, personality and stuff.  And build.  Unique and all.  I've also got a wolf (awakened wolves: best crusaders ever).  He's fun.  His name....is currently Super Wolf though.....need to fix that.  Then I have a male shadow raptoran.  Evil too.  If I were a D&D character it'd be a N/G raptoran cleric.  So raptoran wasn't too hard for me to pull off.  Then again, I've also seen the male character played by a girl to be a horny guy trying to get with every girl he sees (though it might be the character she's trying to emulate....I have no idea), and I've seen the slut-ho played by a guy.  I need to play one of those stereotypical males sometime though.....just for kicks.  Maybe a short game that I know I won't be there for long in.  I don't think I could keep up that whole mentality.  Just doesn't fit me, ya know?

Point is: it can be done, and well at that.  It also can be done poorly.  Very, very poorly.

I guess, try to emulate...nah, scratch that.  Come up with a reasonable personality based on what you've seen.  Shouldn't turn out too bad.

Let's see...other unique characters......half-minotaur counts, right?  I usually don't play the BSF type, even though this is a trip-monkey.  Human waterbender....that's not really unique at all.  I'm going to start DMing a game soon, I'll get to "play" some pretty unique NPCs then.  I need to work on names, I suck at naming things.
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AstralFire

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #9 on: August 24, 2008, 02:14:12 AM »
2) Give yourself a chance, play who you would like as a girl/boyfriend. You aren't used to it. You don't know what the hell it means to have breasts or a wang. As your closest point of reference to the opposite sex is who you have some with, try to emulate those quirks you like and behaviour patterns. It might sound stupid, but its inside those subtle details in the mindset that makes a realistic character. Beside, its easier to become what you like than what you hate, huh?

Emphasis on "girl/boyfriend," not girl/boy toy.


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dman11235

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #10 on: August 24, 2008, 02:20:52 AM »
Sometime I will play the girl/boy toy just because.  I'll have so many character ideas that get shot down, why not?  And it's not like my campaigns last for anything.  But most of the time I play them fairly normal for the species/gender.  The species/gender however....that varies drastically.
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GawainBS

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #11 on: August 24, 2008, 08:13:00 AM »

j0lt

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #12 on: August 24, 2008, 12:15:29 PM »

I guess, try to emulate...nah, scratch that.  Come up with a reasonable personality based on what you've seen.  Shouldn't turn out too bad.

That's pretty much it.  When I make a character, I think up a character from a movie as a basis for my character's personality.  For example, in the Star Wars Saga RPG, I made a female Twi'lek escaped slave turned mercenary.  Physically, she's more in line with someone like Jodie Foster, but her personality is based on Vasquez from Aliens.
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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #13 on: August 24, 2008, 02:55:16 PM »
My wife has played a number of male characters, usually because the concept is based on a male.

I haven't played a female character in a long while (back in my AD&D days there was a bad experience with a guy who would play cross-gender, so I've avoided it). However, a lot of the characters I've designed are women, usually because I'm basing them off of female characters in movies and books and such. In which case, the basis for their personality is much more than their gender.

Squirrelloid

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #14 on: August 26, 2008, 06:13:58 AM »
I've played both genders about 50-50, and I've even played a 9yo girl wizard (who was great fun to play).  Generally, I let the character dictate what the gender is (most of the time a particular gender just 'feels right' for a given character concept, so i go with it). 

I will confess, most of my female characters have been young (and thus arguably attractive).  I mean, men have positive older archetypes like the 'ancient sage' (and I've played a 70+ male sorceror before).  Women don't have nearly as many positive older archetypes, which ultimately reflects underlying sexism in our culture.  Of course, I generally don't play older characters (said character is the only character over 30 I've played), so I might be reading a little too much into the age distribution of characters i've played.  Effectively, I've got two outliers (9yo girl wizard, 70yo male sorceror) and everyone else is 17-30.

Now, do my women feel feminine?  Well, many of my male characters aren't notably masculine either.  Gender is often forgettable, especially in certain campaign styles.  That said, I've played a female 'samurai' (didn't actually have levels in that class) who played out as strong and feminine, and a male chinese-themed fighter/rogue who played out rather masculine.

So playing the opposite gender is just something that happens.  If you don't make a big deal out of it, its not a big deal.  If you do make a big deal out of it, it should be fun for some roleplaying.  If you're just being an asshole, then you're just being an asshole.  We know how to deal with assholes.
« Last Edit: August 26, 2008, 10:07:40 AM by Squirrelloid »
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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #15 on: August 26, 2008, 06:23:01 AM »
I tried to make a male elf druid. He was hot. He was tall, lean/muscular, blonde hair in a braid... He was noble and really down to earth...
And I completely broke character when he encountered horses (his all time favorite animal: "AWWWW Look at the cute horsey! Who's a cute horsey? Who's a cute horsey? YOU ARE!!!" etc etc etc)

Aftercrescent, shewolf, and other party members started laughing and that's when I decided that I needed to play a girl... Playing a guy just wasn't happening.  :-\

I'll try again some time... Just no where near now.

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #16 on: August 26, 2008, 07:15:15 AM »
All of my vampire: the dark ages - masquerade characters were female. I've made male vampires, but for one-shoot chronicles, not long ones. They were not slutty at the beginning, as they were both embraced at a extremely old age (~90 years old), but over the years they changed a lot. Transforming from a neonate grandma to a hot bodied elder is just too cool to pass up.

I've played a female druid in d&d, but it didn't work out well. Let's just say that my d&d party doesn't get laid enough. They don't even try to hit on a girl in real life, so they do it in game. And because the story would derail every minute or so by a party of desperate dudes trying to rape my druid (yes, even in bear shape), ending with half the party at negative hit points and the rest beaten up bad, the DM mystically transformed her into a man.
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Kari

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #17 on: August 26, 2008, 08:06:45 AM »
My groups have pretty much never worried about who's playing what gender. We've always had a good mix of both men and women playing, and the women have played male characters while the men have played female characters. It's never been a problem or a big deal for us. Hell, I'm a guy, and I play female characters as the primary gender for my characters, rather than as a 'sometimes' thing. None of said opposite gender characters ever have a problem with being oversexualized in any way - unless it's a deliberate thing, for the character concept, and even then, it's just one facet of the character, not the entire character concept.

Seriously, any time I hear about some guy playing a female character that's nothing but a slut, or a female playing a male character's who's nothing but an over-muscled macho jerk, I just think... they need to grow up.

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #18 on: August 26, 2008, 08:26:29 AM »
The only female character I ever ran was designed to be flirty/slutty/advantageous from the start, as her in into the adventuring group was as a Wilder barmaiden who used both her body and her mind to get bigger tips, seduce whomever she wanted, and/or take advantage of or outright rob patrons.

It did become a little disruptive to gameplay though, since I seldom left character when using her and often used Charm and the like on other PCs to accomplish my goals.

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Re: Playing the opposite gender.
« Reply #19 on: August 26, 2008, 11:36:45 AM »
I've played my fair share of female PCs, and though it's more difficult than playing a male, it's not that difficult in the end. I just observed the women I know, from my wife to her sisters and friends, my mother, cousins, colleagues, co-gamers... and just as I could design a male character's personality on the fly, so could I for a woman. It's pretty easy if you've got a basic understanding of psychology and/or a few tools (the one I use most is enneagram). Even something as easy as knowing the different aspects of yin and yang can help create a believable character, be it male or female.