Author Topic: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature  (Read 149561 times)

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bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #120 on: January 13, 2009, 12:58:17 PM »
Vorpal Shrew Swarm
Diminutive Magical Beast (Swarm)
Hit Dice: 12d10+12 (78 hp)
Initiative: +5
Speed: 15 ft. (3 squares), climb 15 ft.
Armor Class: 20 (+4 Size, +5 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 19, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/-
Attack: Swarm (3d6 plus poison)
Full Attack: Swarm (3d6 plus poison)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Vorpal Attacks, Distraction, Poison
Special Qualities: Immune to Weapon Damage, Low Light Vision, Scent, Swarm Traits
Saves: Fort +9, Ref +13, Will +6
Abilities: Str 6, Dex 20, Con 13, Int 6, Wis 14, Cha 10
Skills: Balance +13, Climb +16, Hide +12, Listen +7, Move Silently +12, Spot +7
Feats: Alertness, Endurance, Diehard, Track
Environment: Any Forest
Organization: Solitary, Pair, Mob (2-4 Swarms), Big Mob (10-15 swarms)
Challenge Rating: 8
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: -
Level Adjustment: ---

"Abner...I don't like the way thet grass is movin'..I think we should leave..."

Vorpal Shrews are creations by Prak the Mad, the mage of Bad Critter Forest (and one he actually regrets). Their magically enhanced natural weapons cut through anything (meaning a single shrew makes touch attacks). They appear to be normal (if somewhat rabid) shrews.  And by somewhat rabid we mean "teensy mouth-frothing horrors from the Pit".

Poison (Ex): Injury, Fortitude Save DC 17, Initial and Secondary Damage 1d4 Dex. Save DC is Constitution Based. Shrews excrete most of the poisons that build up in their body in their saliva.

Vorpal Attacks (Su): The damage from Vorpal Shrews Natural Attacks is untyped, meaning it bypasses Damage Reduction.

Skills: Vorpal Shrews have a +8 Racial Bonus on Balance, and Climb checks. They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Hide and Move Silently checks. They may use their Dex or Str modifier for Climb checks, whichever is better, and may always Take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened.

Combat: Vorpal Shrews pretty much use standard swarm tactics, i.e. rush the victim and start chewing.  Plus they make these horrifying lil' squeaky noises that will keep you awake at nights if you survive. 

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #121 on: January 14, 2009, 01:42:58 PM »
Devil Mice Swarm
Diminutive Magical Beast (Swarm)
Hit Dice: 12d10+12 (78 hp)
Initiative: +5
Speed: 15 ft. (3 squares), climb 15 ft.
Armor Class: 20 (+4 Size, +5 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 19, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/-
Attack: Swarm (3d6 plus poison)
Full Attack: Swarm (3d6 plus poison)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Summon Swarm, Distraction, Poison
Special Qualities: Immune to Weapon Damage, Low Light Vision, Scent, Swarm Traits, Dark Vision 60', Telepathy 100', Immune to Fire and Poison, Energy Resistance 20 (Cold and Acid)
Saves: Fort +10 Ref +13, Will +6
Abilities: Str 4, Dex 21, Con 14, Int 10, Wis 14, Cha 10
Skills: Balance +13, Climb +16, Hide +12, Listen +7, Move Silently +12, Spot +7
Feats: Ability Focus (Poison), Alertness,
Environment: Any Forest
Organization: Solitary, Pair, Mob (2-4 Swarms), Big Mob (10-15 swarms)
Challenge Rating: 8
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral Evil
Advancement: -
Level Adjustment: ---

"Abner...Abner the mice got horns...and they's tellin' me bad things..."

Yet another creation of the mad wizard of Bad Critter Forest, these mice have a fiendish ancestry of some sort. They appear to be mice or hamsters with black fur, red eyes, and teensy little devil horns. Despite this they are not Extraplanar entities, nor do they seem to have alignment restrictions.  Which just drives mages studying them nuts.  Devil Mice speak Common and Infernal.

Skills: Devil Mice have a +8 Racial Bonus on Balance, and Climb checks. They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Hide and Move Silently checks. They may use their Dex or Str modifier for Climb checks, whichever is better, and may always Take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened.

Summon Swarm (Su): Devil Mice can try summon another Swarm of Devil Mice once per day with a 35% chance of success.

Poison (Ex): Injury, Fortitude Save DC 20, Initial and Secondary Damage is 1d4 Str.

Combat: Devil Mice usually hide while trying to summon another swarm before moving in for the kill and nibbling their victim to death in a rude manner.  Being intelligent however, you can try to bluff or bribe them.  Bribing generally works better.  You'd be surprised what evil mice will accept in exchange for not devouring you in your sleep.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #122 on: January 14, 2009, 01:49:25 PM »
Mysterious Magical Maniacal Miniaturized Moose Swarm
Tiny Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 12d10 (66 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 16 (+2 Size, +3 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/-
Attack: Swarm (3d6)
Full Attack: Swarm (3d6)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Distraction, Trip
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 60', Swarm Traits, Half Damage from Slashing and Piercing
Saves: Fort +10, Ref +11, Will +5
Abilities: Str 6, Dex 16, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
Skills: Hide +10, Listen +8, Spot +8
Feats: Alertness, Endurance, Great Fortitude, Run
Environment: Cold or Temperate Forests
Organization: Solitary, Herd (3-5 Swarms)
Challenge Rating: 7
Treasure: None
Alignment: Usually Chaotic Neutral
Advancement: -
Level Adjustment: ---


"Maw...Maw the mooses got Abner..."

These are a species of magically created miniature moose the size of cats. The gods alone known what they were created for.  They seem as stubborn and irrationally violent as the usual sized moose.  perhaps a tad more so, as they have to make up for their lack of size.  Originating in Bad Critter Forest (figures), they have spread quickly over the world.

Trip (Ex): The Moose swarm will attempt to knock opponents over, and then trample on them. Any creature they subject to their Swarm attack they immediately get a Trip attack against as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity (and the opponent can't try to trip them back).  Their Swarm attack does +1d6 against Prone opponents.

Combat: The Mooseswarm will charge, and try to knock it's opponent over, before repeatedly jumping up and down on it. If it cannot eventually trip an opponent it will flee.  Before sneaking back up on him an hour later when his guard is down and trying it again just for the sake of stubborness.

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #123 on: January 15, 2009, 10:56:11 AM »

Teal Hulk
                      Small Aberration
Hit Dice:             3d8+3 (16 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft., Burrow 20 ft.
Armor Class:          19 (+1 Small, +2 Dex, +6 natural), touch 13, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/-1
Attack:               Claw +5 melee (1d4+1)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +5 melee (1d4+1) and 1 Bite +0 melee (2d4)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Charm Gaze
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 30', Tremorsense 40'
Saves:                Fort +2, Ref +3, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 12, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 11
Skills:               Climb +11, Hide +8, Jump +3, Move Silently +4, Listen +2, Spot +2
Feats:                Blind-Fight, Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Underground
Organization:         Solitary, Cluster (3-6), or Hive (10-100)
Challenge Rating:     2?
Treasure:             Half Standard
Alignment:            Usually Neutral Evil
Advancement:          4 HD (Small), 5-6 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Bert...Bert there's this weird blue/green bug eating my boot...it's a really big bug Bert..."

The city of Gandalf's Folly is known for many things, chief among them it's Wizard's college.  And the college's many, potentially devastating competitions.  Wizards are prone to madness after all.  One of the worst is the Evil Minion competition.  All competitors take a common monster, and manipulate it into what they consider the perfect evil minion.  This most recent competition involved the Umber Hulk (you can already see where this is going bad).  Professor Nwakuche's entry is a bluish-green Hulk that's only a scant 2 feet 6 inches tall, and weighing in at 50 pounds at most.  It's Charming Gaze and stealth due to it's small size make it quite useful.  Unfortunately the Teal Hulk's rapid reproductive rate, and tendencies to swarm makes up for it's advantages.  Teal Hulks speak Terran.


Charm Gaze: Charm Monster as per the spell, 30', Willpower DC 12 negates, Caster Level equal to Hit Dice, Save DC is Charisma Based.

Combat: Teal Hulks try to usually Charm opponents, and get them to help out the Hive before sending them on their way or using them to feed the young.  If the gaze attack doesn't work they swarm the outsider and begin biting his legs furiously.


bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #124 on: January 16, 2009, 12:37:11 PM »
Sienna Hulk
                      Large Aberration
Hit Dice:             8d8+24 (60 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                30 ft. (5 squares), Burrow 20 ft.
Armor Class:          19 (-1 Large, +2 Dex, +8 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+20
Attack:               Claw +11 melee (1d8+6)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +11 melee (1d8+6) and 1 Bite +9 melee (2d8+3)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Despairing Gaze
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Tremorsense 60'
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 22, Dex 15, Con 17, Int 9, Wis 11, Cha 15
Skills:               Climb +9, Jump +9, Listen +3, Spot +2
Feats:                Ability Focus (Gaze), Irresistible Gaze (see Savage Species), Multiattack
Environment:          Underground
Organization:         Solitary, or Cluster (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     7
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Lawful Evil
Advancement:          9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Wow...that's the freakiest bug thing ah evah did see.  Hey Bert you 'spose he's friendly?  Bert? Uh oh..."

Professor Butler had often taken a lot of bad jokes based on his name.  A lot.  As a result he often suffered from crushing depression.  Then he heard about the minion contest.  Soon all would feel his depression! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  Sienna hulks are tall, thin yellow-brown Hulks standing roughly 12 feet tall but weighing only 500 pounds or so.  Not as intelligent as the Umber Hulk, their gaze is a bit more powerful causing opponents to succumb to despair.  Unfortunately close proximity to his new minions caused Professor Butler to kill himself.  The Sienna Hulks ate him, and proceeded to kill off his students. 

Despairing Gaze: Crushing Despair, 30', Willpower Save DC 20 negates, Save DC is Charisma based.

Combat: Sienna Hulks fight pretty similarly to a regular Umber Hulk.  They do rely more on their gaze to soften up opponents though.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2009, 01:53:35 PM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #125 on: January 18, 2009, 09:53:27 AM »
Magenta Hulk
                      Large Aberration
Hit Dice:             10d8+50 (95 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                15 ft. (4 squares), Burrow 10 ft.
Armor Class:          20 (-1 Large, +11 natural), touch 9, flat-footed 20
Base Attack/Grapple:  +7/+22
Attack:               Claw +13 melee (1d8+7)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +13 melee (1d8+7) and 1 Bite +11 melee (2d8+3)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Rebuking Gaze
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Tremorsense 60'
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +3, Will +7
Abilities:            Str 25, Dex 11, Con 19, Int 9, Wis 11, Cha 15
Skills:               Listen +6, Spot +7
Feats:                Cumbrous Fortitude, Improved Toughness, Irresistible Gaze, Multiattack*
Environment:          Underground
Organization:         Solitary, or Cluster (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     8
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Neutral Evil
Advancement:          11-15 HD (Large), 16-30 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

*Cumbrous Fortitude, Irresistible Gaze are from Savage Species.

"Hahahahaha!!! Thats the fattest Hulk I've ever seen!  Oh crap...Oh crap, dude, I think we made him angry!"

Professor Esther had long been teased about her weight.  After years it had gotten to the point where she decided to show people in the competition not only was big okay, it was better.  And to some extent she was right.  Her minions were a bit tougher than the usual Hulk.  But she didn't realize increased mass meant increased appetite.  Fortunately she wasn't around for the eating spree, but her students weren't so lucky.  Magenta hulks are a light purplish red.  While they stand no taller than a regular Hulk they weigh almost half again as much.  They speak Terran.

Rebuking Gaze: Greater Rebuke, 30', Willpower Save DC 18 negates, Save DC is Charisma based. (Greater Rebuke may be found in Spell Compendium)

Combat: magenta Hulks soften their opponents up with their Gaze and then move in.  They're pretty much like normal Hulks, but their hunger leads them to try to eat any downed victims, often taking at least one of them out of the combat if they kill an opponent.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2009, 01:53:50 PM by bhu »

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #126 on: January 18, 2009, 10:16:45 AM »

Death Gerbil Swarm
Diminutive Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 15d10+45 (127 hp)
Initiative: +9
Speed: 15 ft. (3 squares), Climb 15 ft., Swim 15 ft., Burrow 15 ft.
Armor Class: 24 (+4 Size, +5 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 19, flat-footed 19
Base Attack/Grapple: +15/-
Attack: Swarm (3d6 plus poison)
Full Attack: Swarm (3d6 plus poison)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Distraction, Poison
Special Qualities: Immune to Weapon Damage, Low Light Vision, Scent, Swarm Traits, Dark Vision 60', Preternatually Tough
Saves: Fort +11, Ref +15, Will +8
Abilities: Str 4, Dex 21, Con 12, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 10
Skills: Balance +16, Climb +16, Hide +32, Listen +14, Move Silently +19, Spot +14, Survival +12, Swim +12
Feats: Alertness, Ability Focus (Poison), Dodge, Improved Initiative, Brachiation (B, yes I know they have pudgy little hamster legs, they still swing from trees)
Environment: Any Warm
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Big Swarm (3-6 swarms)
Challenge Rating: 8??
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Usually Neutral Evil
Advancement: -
Level Adjustment: ---

"Abner...Abner I think that mouse ate something bad 'fore it bit me..."

Death Gerbils are small gerbil or hamster like critters once again made by insane wizards hellbent on ruining the reputation of their profession.  Just once you think they'd make soemthing useful that didn't end up killing people and infesting the town.  Colors vary, but most have the same insane gleam in their eyes.  It's easy to recognize them from the local rodents as they're cuter, and look like they want to eat you.  Most gerbils aren't carnivorous, nor do they discuss with you how you'd like to be prepared after you are killed.  Death Gerbils understand Common, and 2 other languages (usually of nearby races wherever they live).

Skills: Death Gerbils have a +8 Racial Bonus on Balance, and Climb checks. They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Hide and Move Silently checks. They may use their Dex or Str modifier for Climb checks, whichever is better, and may always Take 10 on Climb checks, even if rushed or threatened.

Poison (Ex): Injury, Fort Save DC 20, Initial and Secondary Damage 1d4 Strength

Preternaturally Tough (Ex): Death Gerbils have a Racial Bonus to their Saving Throws equal to their Constitution Modifier (yes this means they get double their Con mod for Fort Saves). They also get an additional 2 hp per Hit Die.

Combat: Capable of climbing, swimming, burrowing, or swinging through the trees if necessary, Death Gerbils are all terrain munching machines.  Think of them as fuzzy pirhana.  Being intelligent it is possible to bribe them however.  If you happen to have dozens of suits of gerbil sized magical armor on you it might even be exceptionally possible.

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #127 on: January 18, 2009, 10:21:25 AM »
Lemming Swarm
Fine Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 12d10 (66 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 15 ft. (3 squares), burrow 15 ft.
Armor Class: 20 (+8 Size, +2 Dex), touch 20, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/-
Attack: Swarm (3d6+curse)
Full Attack: Swarm (3d6+curse)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Distraction
Special Qualities: Swarm Traits, Dark Vision 60', Immune to Weapon Damage, Lemming Curse
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +10, Will +6
Abilities: Str 1, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 10
Skills: Hide +18, Listen +7, Spot +7, Swim +4
Feats: Alertness, Ability Focus (Lemmings Curse), Endurance, Run, Cold Endurance
Environment: Temperate or Cold Forest, Hills, Mountains, or Plains
Organization: Solitary, Cluster (3-6 Swarms), or Hive (10-20 Swarms) plus converts (CR of converts should be equal to 1/2 total CR of the swarms)
Challenge Rating: 7
Treasure: None
Alignment: Usually Neutral
Advancement: -
Level Adjustment: ----

"Bert I don't like the way them critters is lookin' at us.  Bert?  Bert why you lookin' at me like them thangs over there?"

These look pretty much like any other Lemming.  Little fuzzy critters.  WHo munch endlessly and occasionally swarm for no apparent reason.  Surrounded by large, sometimes not so fuzzy critters with blank expressions on their faces...  Dammit you're gonna have to have a talk with the local Wizards again.

Lemmings Curse (Su): Anyone subjected to the Lemmings Swarm attack must make a DC 18 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma based) or also be subjected to the Lemmings Curse. If it makes the Save it is immune to this swarms curse for 24 hours. If it fails it's mental stats become the same as the Lemming Swarms, and it believes itself to be one of them. The victim will do it's absolute best to defend the swarm. However it will possibly lose some feats, spells, class abilities, etc due to it's new mental stats. Since it now has the mind of a Lemming it no longer understands any language, and cannot communicate. Nor does it remember it's old life or friends. The curse lasts until the poor fool is eaten, or some kind soul casts Remove Curse/Miracle/Wish, etc.

Combat: The Lemmings aren't interested in wiping opponents out as having them join the horde.  If something is immune to their Curse, they'll have the converts take him out back, so to speak...

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #128 on: January 18, 2009, 10:25:00 AM »


Carnivorous Jungle Death Penguin Swarm
Tiny Magical Beast (Swarm)
Hit Dice: 5d10+5 (32 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 15 ft. (3 squares), Swim 15 ft.
Armor Class: 12 (+2 Size), touch 12, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/-
Attack: Swarm (1d6)
Full Attack: Swarm (1d6)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Distraction
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60', Swarm Traits, Half Damage from Slashing/Piercing Weapons
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +3
Abilities: Str 2, Dex 10, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 2
Skills: Hide +10, Jump +16, Listen +5, Spot +5, Swim +8
Feats: Alertness, Endurance
Environment: Warm Forest
Organization: Solitary, Pair, Group (3-5 Swarms)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: -
Level Adjustment: -

"Penguins?  What the hell are penguins doing in the jungle?"

Humphrey Billingsworth the 3rd was a liar, a cheat, and a complete and utter scoundrel. Unfortunately for the world he also had a taste for primitive tribal women. A taste he indulged while in wizardry school. One, an Orc named Ils, taunted him into entering a competition to create a new species. Humphrey should have known better. Usually these competitions get out of hand, and half the contestants get killed when someones awakened land roving giant squid entry creates an army of the dead and proceeds to take over the campus. But he was in lust. He was also broke. And lacking in even the most basic tenets of common sense. So he broke into the colleges menagerie to steal some subjects, nearly got eaten by an Owlbear, and managed to abscond with several penguins. He was supposed to make a species for jungle habitats.

With penguins.

Needless to say he quickly got incredibly drunk out of despair. And then he decided to say what the hell and just give mutating them a try. Unfortunately for the world "what the hell" came after 3 bottles of Elvish wine. Penguins had several problems adapting to a jungle existence. They couldn't stand heat, they had ridiculously stubby little legs, and virtually no real offensive capability. So he gave them retractable fangs to fix the fighting problem. He tried giving them flight, but at best they had some of pseudo levitation they could use in spurts that allowed them to travel by hopping which they seemed to enjoy immensely. Running out of time he decided to try and use the tactic that "no one would see them coming, they'll make the perfect ambush minion" when he introduced them to the judges the next day. He then locked the penguins up for the night, and passed out.

He locked them up next to a fiendish artifact the school had just taken in for study that had gigantic signs around it saying "STAY 30 FEET FROM THIS THING AT ALL TIMES".

In his defense he was stone drunk.

Long story short the several penguins became several thousand overnight. They ate the competition. And Humphrey, and Ils, and most of the local population. In the afterlife the Gods and Fiends both pretty much rejected Humphrey's soul, and at this moment it seems likely he will become a Vestige. A sad penguiny Vestige.

Skills: Jungle Death Penguins have a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim checks, and can always Take 10 on a Swim chck. They also have a +20 Racial Bonus to Jump Checks.

Combat: Ummm..they're penguins. Penguins aren't known for tactical sense. They just sort of bounce toward the victim and nibble.

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #129 on: January 19, 2009, 12:40:04 PM »
Aquamarine Hulk
                      Large Aberration (Aquatic)
Hit Dice:             8d8+24 (60 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                20 ft. (5 squares), Swim 20 ft.
Armor Class:          19 (-1 Large, +2 Dex, +8 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+19
Attack:               Claw +10 melee (1d8+5)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +10 melee (1d8+5) and 1 Bite +5 melee (2d8+2)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Light Gaze
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Blindsense 60', Amphibious
Saves:                Fort +8, Ref +4, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 21, Dex 15, Con 19, Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 13
Skills:               Listen +7, Search +7, Spot +8, Swim +13
Feats:                Ability Focus (Gaze), Great Fortitude, Swim-By Attack*
Environment:          Warm or Temperate Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary, or Cluster (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     7
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Chaotic Evil
Advancement:          9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

*Swim-By Attack may be found in Stormwrack.

"Abner...ah just saw a huge bug eat the carp we pulled in...ah think we're dun fishin'"

Professor Jingang's headquarters were underwater, making her somewhat upset over the choice of a very non water traveling race for the competition.  But she adapted.  Aquamarine Hulks are a pale blue water dwelling species of Hulk with fins and pulsing gills and what have you.  Normal Hulks get sick looking at them for some reason.  They just don't get along.  Aquamarine Hulk speak Aquan.

Light Gaze: Rainbow Pattern, 30', Willpower Save DC 17 negates, Save DC is Charisma Based.

Skills: Aquamarine Hulks get a +8 Racial Bonus on all Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Swim Check.  They may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

Combat: Aquamarine Hulks prefer hit and run tactics to stand up fighting, especially since they usually are able to take more advantage of their environment than invading adventurers.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2009, 01:54:10 PM by bhu »

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #130 on: January 19, 2009, 12:41:44 PM »



                      Chicken Lord, Hatchling
                      Small Magical Beast (Evil)
Hit Dice:             3d10+3 (19 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class:          12 (+1 Size, +1 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 11
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/-3
Attack:               Peck +1 melee (1d3-2)
Full Attack:          Peck +1 melee (1d3-2)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Lord of the Chikins, BAWK!,
Special Qualities:    Spontaneous Awakening,  Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 30'
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +3, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 6, Dex 10, Con 12, Int 12, Wis 12, Cha 12
Skills:               Bluff +3, Concentration +3, Hide +2, Knowledge (Local) +3, Listen +5, Move Silently +3, Search +3, Sense Motive +3, Spot +5
Feats:               Alertness, Weapon Focus (Peck)
Environment:          Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Neutral Evil
Advancement:          4-5 HD (Small)
Level Adjustment:     ---


 Chicken Lord, Young
                      Medium Magical Beast (Evil)
Hit Dice:             6d10+12 (45 hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          15 (+1 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+6
Attack:               Peck +6 melee (1d4) or Eye Ray +7 Ranged Touch (1d8)
Full Attack:          Peck +6 melee (1d4) or Eye Ray +7 Ranged Touch (1d8)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Lord of the Chikins, BAWK!, Eye Rays
Special Qualities:    Spontaneous Awakening, SR 16, Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 60', Damage Reduction 5/Magic, Fast Healing 3
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +6, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 10, Dex 12, Con 14, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 14
Skills:               Bluff +4, Concentration +4, Gather Information +4, Hide +3, Intimidate +4, Knowledge (Arcana, Local, Nature) +4, Listen +4, Move Silently +3, Search +4, Sense Motive +4, Spellcraft +4, Spot +4
Feats:               Alertness, Improved Initiative, Weapon Focus (Peck)
Environment:          Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     3
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Neutral Evil
Advancement:          7-11 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---




 Chicken Lord, Adult
                      Large Magical Beast (Evil)
Hit Dice:             12d10+36 (102 hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          18 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple:  +12/+18
Attack:               Peck +13 melee (1d6+2) or Eye Ray +12 Ranged Touch (2d6)
Full Attack:          Peck +13 melee (1d6+2) or Eye Ray +12 Ranged Touch (2d6)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Lord of the Chikins, BAWK!, Smite Non-Chikin, Eye Rays
Special Qualities:    Spontaneous Awakening, SR 22,  Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 90', Damage Reduction 5/Magic, Fast Healing 5
Saves:                Fort +11, Ref +9, Will +7
Abilities:            Str 14, Dex 12, Con 16, Int 14, Wis 16, Cha 16
Skills:               Bluff +7, Concentration +7, Gather Information +5, Hide +1, Intimidate +7, Knowledge (Arcana, Local, Nature) +6, Listen +7, Move Silently +5, Search +6, Sense Motive +5, Spellcraft +6, Spot +7
Feats:               Alertness, Improved Initiative, Point Blank Shot, Precise Shot, Weapon Focus (Peck)
Environment:          Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     8
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Neutral Evil
Advancement:          13-23 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---




 Chicken Lord, Mature Adult
                      Huge Magical Beast (Evil)
Hit Dice:             24d10+120 (252 hp)
Initiative:           +4
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          24 (-2 Size, +12 Natural, +4 Profane), touch 12, flat-footed 24
Base Attack/Grapple:  +24/+38
Attack:               Peck +28 melee (1d8+6/19-20) or Eye Ray +22 Ranged Touch (3d6)
Full Attack:          Peck +28 melee (1d8+6/19-20) or Eye Ray +22 Ranged Touch (3d6)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Lord of the Chikins, BAWK!, Smite Non-Chikin, Eye Rays
Special Qualities:    Spontaneous Awakening, SR 34, Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 120', Damage Reduction 10/Magic, Fast Healing 5
Saves:                Fort +19, Ref +14, Will +12
Abilities:             Str 22, Dex 10, Con 20, Int 16, Wis 18, Cha 18
Skills:               Bluff +13, Concentration +15, Gather Information +13, Hide +1, Intimidate +13, Knowledge (Arcana, Local, Nature) +12, Listen +13, Move Silently +9, Search +12, Sense Motive +13, Spellcraft +12, Spot +13
Feats:               Alertness, Blind-Fight, Combat Reflexes, Improved Critical (Peck), Improved Initiative, Point Blank Shot, Power Critical (Peck), Precise Shot, Weapon Focus (Peck)
Environment:          Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     17
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Neutral Evil
Advancement:          25-47 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---




 Chicken Lord, Lord
                      Gargantuan Magical Beast (Evil)
Hit Dice:             48d10+336 (600 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          28 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +18 Natural, +5 Profane), touch 10, flat-footed 28
Base Attack/Grapple:  +48/+70
Attack:               Peck +54 melee (2d6+10/19-20) or Eye Ray +43 Ranged Touch (4d6)
Full Attack:          Peck +54 melee (2d6+10/19-20) or Eye Ray +43 Ranged Touch (4d6)
Space/Reach:          20 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks:      Lord of the Chikins, BAWK!, Smite Non-Chikin, Eye Rays
Special Qualities:    Spontaneous Awakening, SR 58, Low Light Vision, Dark Vision 240', Damage Reduction 15/Magic, Regeneration 5
Saves:                Fort +36, Ref +25, Will +25
Abilities:            Str 30, Dex 8, Con 24, Int 18, Wis 20, Cha 20
Skills:               Bluff +25, Concentration +27, Gather Information +25, Hide +7, Intimidate +44, Knowledge (Arcana, Local, Nature) +24, Listen +25, Move Silently +18, Search +24, Sense Motive +25, Spellcraft +24, Spot +25
Feats:               Alertness, Blind-Fight, Cleave, Combat Reflexes, Devastating Critical, Epic Fortitude, Epic Will, Great Cleave, Improved Critical (Peck), Improved Initiative, overwhelming Critical, Point Blank Shot, Power Attack, Power Critical (Peck), Precise Shot, Spellcasting Harrier, Weapon Focus (Peck) *
Environment:          Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     23
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Neutral Evil
Advancement:          49+ HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment:     ---

*Power Critical is from Complete Warrior.  Other Feats not in the PHB are from the Draconomicon.


"Jeb...the chikins is revolting!"

"You need ta clean them cages more oftin Abner."

"No, goddangit!! I mean they're formin' a mob!"

"MAW!! Maw git me mah mob wallopin' 2 by 4!"


Every so often a demonic lord of evil is born to a humble chicken.  Upon his hatching the sky darkens.  The earth trembles.  Cows spontaneously burst into flame.  And all the chickens awaken to sapience and become evil.  Evil birds hellbent on the murders of poor, innocent farmers.  The newly born Chicken Lord must be killed quickly before it's powers get out of hand.  Within 20 days it will have progressed from a Hatchling to a young Chicken Lord.  At this point the range of their powers increase, and they can use their eye rays.  Pretty much ensuring the ambush of the local farmer.  In another 30 days they'll be a young adult, and they can change the local peasants into chickens under their control.  By this time they may have taken over the local village.  In 30 more days they will be a Mature Adult, and will only be stoppable by strong heroes.  If they can avoid death for another year they become a full blown Chicken Lord.  At this point stopping them is very difficult, and the world may all become chickens.  Chicken Lords appear to be normal roosters, and can speak and understand Common, and Sylvan.  Despite the description they are not actually demons.  Nor does anyone know why they happen, or why they are hellbent on ruling the world.  Common rumor has it that they are how the Gods screw with people.

BAWK! (Su): As a Standard Action a Chicken Lord may crow loudly.  The exact effects depend on age.  The Radius of effect is 10' for a Hatchling, 30' for Young, 60' for Adult, 120' for Mature Adult, and 240' for Lord.  In all cases any opponent in Range must make a Fortitude Save (DC 12 for Hatchling, DC 15 for Young, DC 19 Adult, DC 27 Mature Adult, DC 41 Lord, Save DC is Constitution Based) or be Deafened permanently.  They must also make a Willpower Save (DC 12 for Hatchling, DC 15 for Young, DC 19 Adult, DC 26 Mature Adult, DC 39 Lord, Save DC is Charisma Based) or be Frightened for 1d6 rounds (2d6 rounds once it is Adult or older).  All opponents also take some amount of Sonic Damage (1d6 Hatchling, 2d6 Young, 4d6 Adult, 8d6 Mature Adult, 16d6 Lord) if they are in the Area of Effect.  They get a Reflex Save (DC 12 for Hatchling, DC 15 for Young, DC 19 Adult, DC 26 Mature Adult, DC 39 Lord, Save DC is Charisma Based) for half damage.  The BAWK! can be heard for miles.

Smite Non-Chikin (Su): The Chicken Lord may cast Baleful Polymorph 5 times per day as a Supernatural Ability (DC 19 Adult, DC 26 Mature Adult, DC 39 Lord), but it only works on non-chickens, and only turns them into chickens.  It does not gain this ability until it becomes an adult.  Once a chicken the victim immediately becomes vulnerable to Lord of the Chikins.

Eye Rays (Su): Once it gets to Young age a Chicken Lord can shoot rays of Force from their eyes as a Ranged Touch Attack (this is considered a Ray Attack, see Aiming a Spell PHB page 175). Range is 50' for Young, 100' for Adult, 150' for Mature Adult, and 250' for Lord.

Lord of the Chikins (Su):  Chicken Lord can telepathically communicate and have absolute mental control (as per Dominate Monster) over all Chickens within a certain radius of themselves (Hatchling: 100 ft., Young: 500 ft.,  Adult: 1000 ft., Mature Adult: 1 mile, Lord: 10 miles).

Spontaneous Awakening (Su): When a Chicken Lord hatches all chickens within 100 feet spontaneously awaken, as do any chickens that come within range of the Chicken Lords 'Lord of the Chikins' power.  They also become Neutral Evil.

Combat: Chicken Lords generally just hide until they have their eye rays (and even then they hide against larger foes).  Generally they try to fight from range until they get older.  Then they just blast away with their Smite ability until all their foes are chickens, and therefore their subjects.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #131 on: January 23, 2009, 10:49:34 AM »
Cerise Hulk
                      Large Aberration
Hit Dice:             8d8+24 (60 hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                20 ft. (5 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class:          18 (-1 Large, +1 Dex, +8 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+19
Attack:               Claw +10 melee (1d8+5)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +10 melee (1d8+5) and 1 Bite +10 melee (2d8+2)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Fear Gaze
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Tremorsense 60'
Saves:                Fort +8, Ref +3, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 21, Dex 13, Con 19, Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 15
Skills:               Climb +18, Jump +10, Listen +6, Spot +6
Feats:                Improved Initiative, Improved Multiattack, Multiattack
Environment:          Warm Forests
Organization:         Solitary, or Cluster (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     7
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Chaotic Evil
Advancement:          9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Dude...dude do you smell cherries??"

Professor Zvonko had always liked cherries, and his entry to the minion competition both smell and look like them.  Wanting minions perfect for keeping pests away from his cherry bushes.  The Cerise Hulks Fear gaze makes it perfect for this role. They otherwise seem like regular Hulks, and speak Terran.

Fear Gaze (Su): Fear, 30', DC 16 Willpower Save negates, Save DC is Charisma based.

Skills: Cerise Hulks have a +8 Racial Bonus to CLimb checks, and may always take 10 on a Climb check.

Combat: Cerise Hulks will usually blast opponent with their Gaze, and then attack if they don't run away
« Last Edit: February 08, 2009, 01:54:33 PM by bhu »

Prak, the Mad

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #132 on: January 24, 2009, 02:37:29 AM »
Ok, I like the creations attributed to my namesake. Very nice.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #133 on: January 24, 2009, 01:51:44 PM »
was hoping you'd liek  :D

Cerulean Hulk
                      Medium Aberration
Hit Dice:             4d8+8 (26 hp)
Initiative:           +6
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          17 (+2 Dex, +5 natural), touch 12, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+5
Attack:               Claw +5 melee (1d6+2)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +5 melee (1d6+2) and 1 Bite +3 melee (2d6+1)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Lightning Gaze
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Tremorsense 60'
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +3, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 15, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 15
Skills:               Climb +5, Jump +5, Listen +4, Spot +4
Feats:               Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Multiattack
Environment:          Cold Forests
Organization:         Solitary, or Cluster (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     3
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Chaotic Evil
Advancement:          5-8 HD (Medium), 9-12 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Hey Abner...member how maw allus told us not to pee on the electric fence...it goes for bugs too..."

Professor Gorm didn't want some namby pamby gaze attacking Hulk for his entry.  Gaze attacks were for sissies.  He wanted to breed them out of his creation and make them tougher.  Real minions don't need range.  His plans backfired, and his minions now shoot ball lightning, probably as a result of his using massive amounts of electricity in his experiments making them.  Nor are they tougher than regular Hulks.  Fortunately the electrical burns to his kidneys could be regenerated.  Cerulean Hulks speak Auran.

Lightning Gaze (Sp): The Cerulean Hulk may cast Orb of Electricity at will as a Spell-Like Ability.  Caster Level is equal to Hit Dice.

Combat: Cerulean Hulks just sit back and blast away with their electrical powers.  They're kinda lazy tactically for Hulks.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2009, 12:59:34 PM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #134 on: January 24, 2009, 02:11:09 PM »
The Dire Goldfish
Extra Super Biggie Size Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 400d10+9200 (11400 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: Swim 50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class: 81 (-16 Size, -1 Dex, +88 Natural), touch 0, flat-footed 81
Base Attack/Grapple: +404/+470
Attack: Nibble +423 melee (4d6+72/19-20)
Full Attack: Nibble +423 melee (4d6+72/19-20)
Space/Reach: 200 ft./150 ft.
Special Attacks: Unsettling Presence, Plow
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60', Low Light Vision, Blindsense, Damage Reduction 60/-
Saves: Fort +228, Ref +207, Will +140
Abilities: Str 80, Dex 8, Con 50, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 25
Skills: Listen +137, Spot +137, Swim +177
Feats: Alertness, Cleave, Close-Quarters Fighting, Cumbrous Fortitude, Cumbrous Reflexes, Cumbrous Will, Damage Reduction (x20), Danger Sense, Devastating Critical (Nibble), Diehard, Endurance, Epic Fortitude, Epic Prowess (x4), Epic Reflexes, Epic Toughness (x 40), Epic Will, Great Cleave, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Nibble), Improved Initiative, Improved Natural Armor (x41), Improved Snatch, Multisnatch, Iron Will, Large and In Charge, Overwhelming Critical (Nibble), Power Attack, Power Critical (Nibble), Shock Trooper, Snatch, Swim-By Attack, Weapon Focus (Nibble)
Environment: Elemental Plane of Water
Organization: Unique
Challenge Rating:
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 401+ HD (Extra Collosal)
Level Adjustment: ---


"HOLY S___!"

Goldfish collectors know that the larger the bowl you put your goldfish in the bigger it will grow. Someone had the bright idea of taking one to the Plane of Elemental Water to see just how big one could get over time. Bad idea as it turns out.  The Dire Goldfish appears to be effectively Immortal.  It doesn't age, it does eat, but it doesn't appear to need to.

Plow (Ex): The Dire Goldfish rarely cares about smaller life forms and will just swim through them. Effectively it makes it's full movement, and does a Bull Rush against every creature whose square it enters. They also have to make a DC 246 Reflex Save or take 8d8 damage. They take half damage if they save successfully. For purposes of the Plow the Dire Goldfish is 2 Size categories larger than Colossal. Opponents do not gain attacks of opportunity and cannot stop the Goldfishes movement unless they are at least Colossal size.

Unsettling Presence (Ex): Anything within 1 mile of the Dire Goldfish must make a Willpower Save (DC 217) or be Panicked for 2d6 rounds. If they succeed they are instead Frightened for 2d6 rounds. Save DC is Charisma based.

Immortal (Ex): The Dire Goldfish doesn't need to eat, sleep, breathe, and doesn't age.  It is immune to sleep/aging/death effects, disease, poison, mind affecting effects (including Fear and Morale).

Combat: The Dire Goldfish rarely initiates combat unless it is really hungry. At which point it just nibbles away on whatever's biggest and closest. Make sure your faster than other members of the party and it's all good.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #135 on: January 24, 2009, 02:16:34 PM »
Bugbear
                      Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             8d10+32 (76 hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          18 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple:  +8/+22
Attack:               Claw +17 melee (1d6+10)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +17 melee (1d6+10) and 1 Bite +12 melee (1d8+5 plus Poison)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved grab, Poison, Constrict(2d6+20)
Special Qualities:    Scent, Dark Vision 60', Immune to Fear, Random Mutation
Saves:                Fort +10, Ref +7, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 30, Dex 13, Con 19, Int 9, Wis 11, Cha 3
Skills:               Climb +10, Intimidate +6, Listen +6, Spot +6
Feats:                Cleave, Improved Initiative, Power Attack
Environment:          Any Warm or Temperate
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     9
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     --

"Abner...ah'm givin' up huntin'..."

Bugbears are a nightmarish melding of mammal and arthropod.  Their features vary heavily from one generation to the next, with mutations becoming ever more grotesque.  The only constant is that it's usually the size and mass of a brown bear, with a vaguely similar shape.  Spots of fur and chitin wind interchangeably about the body.  The face is a mix of arthropod and mammal, and some arthropod features such as stunted wings or vestigial extra limbs may appear.  Since their appearance many a local mage has fallen victim to a torch wielding mob.


Improved Grab (Ex):  If the Bugbear hits with it's Claw attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it may Constrict next round.

Poison (Ex): Injury, Fortitude DC 18, Initial and Secondary Damage is 1d6 Strength.  Save DC is Constituion based.

Constrict (Ex): The Bugbear does 2d6+20 damage with a successful Grapple Check.

Random Mutation (Ex):  The Bugbear gets one random mutation from the following list:

Wings: The Bugbear gains a Fly Speed of 25 (Poor)

Heavy Chitin: Natural Armor Bonus increases to +12

Long Claws: Increase the Reach of it's Claw Attacks by 5 ft.

Sensory Hairs: The Bugbear gains Blindsight 40'.

Knitting SKin: The Bugbear gains Fast Healing 3.

Horrific: The Bugbear gains Frightful Presence.  Whenever it charges, or attacks any creature with fewer Hit Dice than the Bugbear within 30' must make a DC 14 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Basedm Bugbear gets a +4 Racial Bonus) or be Shaken for 5d6 rounds.  Opponents who successfully make their Save are immune to this Bugbears Frightening Presence for 24 hours.

Spiderlike: The Bugbear may use Spider Climb at will as an Exceptional ability.

Many Eyed: The Bugbear cannot be Flanked.


Combat: Bugbears usually rush into melee blindly and begin hacking away.  Some random mutations make them change their tactics though.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #136 on: January 24, 2009, 02:23:56 PM »
Fire Beetle
                      Large Magical Beast (Fire)
Hit Dice:             7d10+21 (59 hp)
Initiative:           +4
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          19 (-1 Size, +10 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 19
Base Attack/Grapple:  +7/+17
Attack:               Bite +12 melee (2d6+6+1d6 Fire)
Full Attack:          Bite +12 melee (2d6+6+1d6 Fire)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Spew Flame, Burning Touch, Set Fires
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60'
Saves:                Fort +8, Ref +5, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 23, Dex 10, Con 17, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 12
Skills:               Listen +5, Spot +5
Feats:                Ability Focus (Spew Flame, Set Fires), Improved Initiative
Environment:         Any Warm or Underground
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     8
Treasure:             Double Gems
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          8-10 HD (Large), 11-21 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

Durin the Dwarf: "This has too be the worst evil minion I've seen yet."
Poofter the Elf: "Well it's a giant bug, I don't know as they're really evil..."
Durin: "Made by an evil mage, so it's an evil minion.  Man look at it.  Who designs evil minions on spurious puns?"
Poofter: "Most of our opponents actually.  Remember that Pope Fish?"
Durin: "Someone really hasta talk with this guy.  Tell him he needs less lame monsters."
Poofter: "But it just burned a fist size hole in Bob's nether regions."
Bob the Human: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Durin: "Which goes to prove it's lameness.  Bob always was a poorly designed character.  6 levels in fighter? Come on!"
Poofter: "I uh..I think we're breaking the fourth wall here..."
Durin: "Screw it.  The writer will take the blame not us."
Poofter: "Your axe is on fire...."
Durin: "Okay now it simply has to die..."

Fire Beetles are 800 pound beetles that appear to be on fire.  Mostly because they are on fire.  Originally conceived as a neat minion by insect obsessed BBEG's, it's drawbacks have become readily apparent over time.  Specifically, it's on fire.  And it spits fire.  And it likes to set fires.  So unles you have an asbestos castle, you got problems.

Spew Flame (Su): The Fire Beetle can spew a 30' Cone of fire once every 1d4 rounds.  This cone does 7d6 Fire damage to anything in it's area (DC 18 Reflex Save for half damage, Save DC is Constitution Based).

Burning Touch (Su): The Fire Beetle itself is incredibly hot.  Atacking it with a weapon (or being attacked by it if you're wearing armor) produces an effect similar to the Heat Metal spell.  Each attack extends the duration by 1 round (DC 14 Will Save negates, Save DC is Charisma Based). Attacking the Fire Beetle with an unarmed strike or natural weapons results in 1d6 Fire damage.

Set Fires (Su): As a Standard Action, once per round the Fire Beetle may set 1 square within 30' on fire if it has any burnable material.  Anyone entering the hex takes 1d6 damage, and must make a DC 15 Reflex Save or catch on fire (see page 303 of the DM's Guide).

Combat:  Fire Beetles will try to set fire to hexes to control it's opponent avenues of approach if it can.  if not it will Spew Flame as they charge in, and rely on it's mandibles to get the job done.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #137 on: January 26, 2009, 01:38:09 PM »
Figgy Pudding
Medium Ooze
Hit Dice: 3d10+15 (31 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 10’ (2 squares)
Armor Class: 10, touch 10, flat-footed 10
Base Attack/ Grapple: +2/ +3
Attack: Slam +3 melee (1d6+1 plus 1d6 acid)
Full Attack: Slam +3 melee (1d6+1 plus 1d6 acid)
Space/ Reach: 5’/ 5’
Special Attacks: Constrict 1d6+1 plus 1d6 acid, improved grab, Intoxicating Scent
Special Qualities: Blindsight 60’, Immune to cold and fire, ooze traits, addictive flesh
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +1, Will -4
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 10, Con 21, Int --, Wis 1, Cha 1
Skills: Climb +13
Feats: --
Environment: Cold Forest and Mountains
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 5??
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 4-6 HD (Medium), 7-9 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: --


"MUST...CONSUME...PUDDING..."

Figgy Puddings look like blobs of some sort of foodlike substance, and smell delicious. They remain underground in hibernation until winter when they come forth to hunt.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Figgy Pudding hits with it's Slam attack it gets an automatic Grapple check as a Free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it is successful it may begin doing Constriction damage each round it maintains the Grapple.

Constrict (Ex): On a successful Grapple check the Figgy Pudding does 1d6+1 damage and an additional 1d6 acid damage.

Intoxicating Scent (Ex): Anyone within 30 feet of a Figgy Pudding (50 feet if they have Scent) must make a DC 16 Willpower Save (Save DC is Con based) or be consumed by desire to eat the Figgy Pudding. If this happens the Figgy Pudding will split off a small portion of itself (it loses 3 hit points temporarily) and allow it to be consumed. This smaller Figgy Pudding will consume the victim from the inside doing 1d6 points of acid damage per round (beings immune to acid damage will eventually 'evacuate' the pudding) until the victim dies (and it rejoins the larger pudding in devouring the corpse), or a Remove Disease spell kills it (in which case the loss of 3 hit points is permanent for the parent pudding).

Addictive Flesh (Ex): Anyone tasting the flesh of a Figgy Pudding must make a DC 16 Willpower Save (Save DC is Con based) or become addicted to the taste. Thereafter each week the addict must make a DC 10 Willpower Save or compulsively hunt down and try to eat a Figgy Pudding. DC check raises by +1 each week the Save is successful. If the addict cannot get to a Figgy Pudding within one week after a Failed Save he suffers from Insanity (as per the spell) until cured or he gets a Figgy Pudding.

Combat: The Figgy Pudding will let it's Intoxicating Scent do the work for it, and let a potential victim munch away while enveloping it.  Should that fail it will immediately attack the nearest person and attempt to constrict.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #138 on: January 26, 2009, 01:44:18 PM »
Paralegal Imp
                      Small Outsider (Evil, Extraplanar, Lawful, Baatezu)
Hit Dice:             3d8 (13 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          19 (+1 Size, +3 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/-2
Attack:               Sting +7 melee (1d4-1 plus poison)
Full Attack:          Sting +7 melee (1d4-1 plus poison)
Space/Reach:         5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Poison, Spell Like Abilities
Special Qualities:    DR 5/ Good or Silver, Dark Vision 60', Fast Healing 2, Immune to Poison, Fire Resistance 5, Lawyer
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 8, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 12, Wis 12, Cha 14
Skills:              Bluff +7, Diplomacy +8, Gather Information +9, Hide +13, Knowledge (Local) +7, Listen +7, Move Silently +9, Search +7, Spellcraft +7
Feats:                Dodge, Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Nine Hells
Organization:         Solitary or Team (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Lawful Evil
Advancement:          4-6 HD (Small)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Why no your honor my client is not a goat rapist, he is a veterinarian, and that goat required certain surgical procedures, which to the untrained might seem blasphemous, but which were absolutely necessary to save that poor animals life."


"My client was acting purely in self defense when she repeatedly clubbed that Paladin. How did she know he was there to save people? He was a screaming, armored maniac covered in blood and fleshy bits."

paralegal Imps may be contracted with to serve as an attorney for mortals and Devils alike.  Some other Outsiders use them as well, as they are known for getting the job done (if not always honestly).

Poison (Ex): Injury, Fortitude DC 13, Initial damage 1d4 Wisdom, Secondary Damage 2d4 Wisdom.  Save DC is Con based and includes a +2 Racial Bonus.

Spell Like Abilities (Sp): At Will: Detect Good, Detect Magic, Delusions of Grandeur (DC 14)
1/day: Suggestion (DC 15)
1/week: Commune (can ask 6 questions, Caster Level 12)
Caster Level 6, Save DC's are Charisma Based.

Lawyer (Su): You have become pretty good at assessing people's guilt.  Gaze, 30', Will Save DC 13 negates, Discern Lies.  Save DC is Charisma Based.

Skills: Paralegal Imps are extensively trained in the Laws of various peoples and may always Take 10 on a Knowledge: Local check when it deals with the laws.

Combat: A Paralegal Imp is made for intellectual combat, not physical,  It will use it's powers to cheat on court cases if it can, but most will flee from combat.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #139 on: January 26, 2009, 01:46:42 PM »
Every so often the link tieing an Outsider to a specific Plane or Alignment is severed for unknown reasons.  Maybe they asked for it, perhaps they've been punished by a superior, or maybe it's a quirk of Fate.  Most leave their Home Plane and travel to find themselves.  Now that they aren't compulsively a specific alignment, many change entirely due to the shock of their situation.  Many become depressed or succumb to some form of extreme behavior.  Some just settle down and raise kids.


Freed Outsider

Freed Outsider is an Acquired Template that can be applies to any Outsider whose Alignment text mention "always" as in "always Chaotic Evil" or "Always Neutral Good" etc.

Size and Type: Size is unchanged, Type is unchanged.  The Chaotic, Evil, Extraplanar, Good, and Lawful subtypes are lost.  They also lose all Angel, Archon, Baatezu, Tanar'ri and similar subtypes that link them to a specific Plane. The Native subtype is gained. 

Hit Dice: Unchanged.

Speed: Unchanged.

Armor Class: Natural Armor Bonus increses by +2.

Attacks: Unchanged.

Damage: Your natural attacks are no longer considered Good/Evil/Chaotic/Lawful for purposes of overcoming Damage Reduction, but they are considered magic.

Special Attacks: Retains all Special Attacks of the Base Creature, except as follows:

Any spells, spell like abilities, or supernatural abilities that have an alignment descriptor are replaced with a similar spell from the same school, same level, same spell list if possible.

Any Sacred or Profane Bonuses become Enhancement Bonuses instead.

Any summoning abilities are lost.  Instead the Base Creature gains any Conjuration spell whose level is equal to the equivalent spell level their summoning ability was castable 3 times per day as a Spell Like Ability.  Caster Level is equal to their Hit Dice. If they already have spell like abilities Caster level is the same as it is for those abilities.


Special Qualities: Retains all Special Qualities of the Base Creature except as follows:

If the Base Creature had Damage Reduction that includes an alignment component (such as Dr 5/Good and Silver or DR 5/ Good or Silver) the alignment component is removed (i.e. it would become DR 5/Silver.  If the DR only has an alignment component (i.e. DR 5/Good) it becomes DR/Magic instead.

Despite losing the Angel, Archon, Baatezu, Tanar'ri and any similar subtypes that link them to a specific Plane the Base Creature retains their abilities (i.e. reisitances, immunities, about anything that isn't alignment related or that summons something).

Angels keep their Protective Aura, but it no longer acts as a Magic Circle Against Evil.

Archons lose their Magic Cirlce Against Evil, but instead gain any 3rd level Abjuration spell castable 3 times per day as a Spell Like ability.  Caster Level is equal to their hit Dice or 7th level whichever is higher.

Saves: Unchanged.

Abilities: If any of the Base Creature's mental stats are below 10 they are raised to 10.  It also gains +4 to 1 stat of your choice.

Skills:  Unchanged.  If Int increased recalculate ranks in skils.

Feats: Unchanged

Environment: Unchanged, or Any if it mentions a specific Plane

Organization: Solitary, possibly even Unique in many cases.

Challenge Rating: +0

Treasure: Unchanged

Alignment: Change "Always" to "Usually".  Most Freed Outsiders find their freedom such a shock that they quickly drift towards a new alignment (usually Neutrality).

Advancement: By character level now.  Favored Class is the one they have the most levels in.

Level Adjustment: +1

Example of creature using template here:


                      Dill-Bob  (former Dretch)
                      Small Outsider (Native)
Hit Dice:             2d8+8 (17 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class:          16 (+1 Size, +5 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/-1
Attack:               Claw +4 melee (1d6+1)
Full Attack:         2 Claws +4 melee (1d6+1) and 1 Bite +2 melee (1d4)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Spell Like Abilities
Special Qualities:    Damage Reduction 5/Cold Iron, Dark Vision 60', Immune to Electricity and Poison, Energy Resistance 10 (Acid, Cold, Fire), Telepathy 100'
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +3, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 12, Dex 10, Con 18, Int 10, Wis 11, Cha 11
Skills:               Hide +9, Listen +5, Move Silently +5, Profession (Batender) +5,Search +5, Spot +5, Survival +5 (+7 Tracking)
Feats:                Multiattack
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary (possibly Unique)
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Neutral
Advancement:          By Character Class
Level Adjustment:     +3

Spell Like Abilities (Sp): Scare (DC 12) and Stinking Cloud (DC 13) 1/day.  Wall of Smoke (DC 11) 3/day.  Caster Level 2nd.

Dill-Bob was your average Dretch, quietly being used as a pawn by his superiors.  Until one day when he stood up, looked around, and loudly said: "OMGWTF AM I DOING HERE???"

He left his home plane and hasn't been back since.  He has no idea how he got his freedom or what to do with it.   Currently Dill-Bob is a bartender at a small redneck bar somewhere on Greyhawk.
« Last Edit: January 26, 2009, 01:56:27 PM by bhu »