Author Topic: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature  (Read 147672 times)

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bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #80 on: December 09, 2008, 11:49:01 AM »
well BHU your creations are pretty spot on.  I used both the turtles and the Gunpowder golem against my group friday night. Gunpowder didn't live up to its potential because our resident pyromanic didn't have any way to set it on fire, but the turtles made them have to work for a victory.  The high AC on them and low attack made this battle take a while (about 2.5 hrs real time) and drained our spell casters of every spell they had.  I so plan on using some more of these thing as my party levels just to see their reaction, i'm so gona use the bimbo and a succubus in the same town and let there be a terf war for the who is the biggest whore.


Wait'll i upload my various small furry critters of doom  :evillaugh

archangel.arcanis

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #81 on: December 09, 2008, 04:12:37 PM »
well BHU your creations are pretty spot on.  I used both the turtles and the Gunpowder golem against my group friday night. Gunpowder didn't live up to its potential because our resident pyromanic didn't have any way to set it on fire, but the turtles made them have to work for a victory.  The high AC on them and low attack made this battle take a while (about 2.5 hrs real time) and drained our spell casters of every spell they had.  I so plan on using some more of these thing as my party levels just to see their reaction, i'm so gona use the bimbo and a succubus in the same town and let there be a terf war for the who is the biggest whore.


Wait'll i upload my various small furry critters of doom  :evillaugh

my party will hate you forever  ;)  I love these great ideas you came up with and it will allow me to play an character concept i have yet to be able to do as well.  My mindflayer that prefers the brains of other mindflayers. He wants to eventually eat an elder brain.  With your flayers i can start as a child and/or play one that can get away with not eating every villager in sight.
Clerics and Druids are like the 4 and 2 in 42. Together they are the answer to the ultimate question in D&D.
Retire the character before the DM smacks you with the Table as the book will feel totally inadequate now.-Hazren

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #82 on: December 10, 2008, 03:10:29 PM »
Pan-Da
Medium Fey
Hit Dice: 5d6+6 (23 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 40’ (8 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (+1 Dex, + 4 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/ +6
Attack: Claw + 6 melee (1d4+4)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +6 melee (1d4+4) and 1 Bite +1 melee ( 1d6+2)
Space Reach: 5’/ 5’
Special Attacks: Pipes, Spell Like Abilities
Special Qualities: Damage Reduction 5/Cold Iron, low-light vision, Wild Empathy,
Spell Resistance 15
Saves: Fort: +3, Ref + 5, Will + 5
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 15, Wis 13, Cha 18
Skills: Bluff + 8, Climb +8, Concentration + 6, Diplomacy +8, Handle Animal + 8,
Heal +5, Hide +5, Intimidate +8, Knowledge (Nature) + 6, Listen + 6, Move
Silently + 5, Search + 6, Sense Motive +8, Spellcraft +6, Spot + 5, Survival + 5
Feats: Alertness, Endurance, Self-Sufficient
Environment: Temperate Forests
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 3 without pipes, 5 with??
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Advancement: 6-7 HD (Medium), 8-12 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: --

"Stop me if you've heard this one..."

"NO MORE PUNS!!!"

"Well fine Mr. Touchy Wizard, I just guess I'll settle for doing things to you while your sleeping."

The Pan-Da appears to be a large slightly anthropomorphic panda with short stubby horns (or moose antlers), carrying reed pipes. Some even have cloven hooves for feet. They are whimsical forest guardians, preferring bamboo or pine forests to all others. Approached respectfully (or if offered wine or honey) they can be excellent guides and helpers. Otherwise your in deep trouble as it decides to spend all it's time pulling pranks on you or telling bad puns until you wish for death.  They stand about 6' tall, weighing in at 350 pounds, and speak Common and Sylvan.

Pipes (Su): The pipes carried by Pan-Da are identical to those carried by Satyrs.

Spell Like Abilities (Sp): The Panda casts spells from the Bard list, but his spells per day are those of a 5th level Sorcerer. Instead of spells they are considered spell like abilities.

Wild Empathy (Ex): This is identical to the Druid class feature, except the Pan-Da has a +6 Racial Bonus on the roll.

Combat: Pan-Da's usually avoid combat, using their Pipes or spells to lead opponents into trouble. However should this fail they have no problem wading in and beating the unholy crap out of individuals. Groups are another matter....groups they pick at one by one from the cover of the forest.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #83 on: December 11, 2008, 01:02:10 PM »
Beholder Cyclops, Necros
Large Undead
Hit Dice: 16d12 (104 hp)
Initiative: +6
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), Fly 20 ft. (good)
Armor Class: 23 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +12 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed
22
Base Attack/Grapple: +8/+13
Attack: Bite +9 melee (1d6+1)
Full Attack: Bite +9 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Eye of Death
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Flight, Undead Traits
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +7, Will +12
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 14, Con -, Int 18, Wis 15, Cha 15
Skills: Intimidate +21, Knowledge (Arcane, Dungeoneering, Religion) +23, Listen +21, Search +23, Spot +21, Survival +21
Feats: Ability Focus (Eye of Death), Improved Turn Resistance, Lifesense, Necromantic Might, Necromantic Presence, Positive Energy Resistance *
Environment: Underdark
Organization: Solitary, plus 4 Wraiths
Challenge Rating: 13
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Advancement: 17-30 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

* Feats not from the MM are from Libris Mortis

"Burt...I think that big eyeball is dead Burt.  We don't really gotta go near it do we?."

After his death, Belfast's belongings were auctioned off on the "insane megalomaniacal wizard" market, and a young necromancer named Blort got his notes on the Phobos.  Blort wasn't exceptionally wise.  Book smart yes, but not very wise.  He decided on making a cyclops with a Death Ray eye so he could slay the locals and raise them all as servants.  Unfortunately his experiments kept dying.  So he decided to experiment with raising them as a unique form of Undead.  It was a lot more successful, but his new lab rats weren't too keen on their new condition, or on him.  Blort was the first of their new servants.  The Beholder Nations responded quickly as usual and razed the local area to the ground.  Blorts notes were gone, they'd killed most of the Necros, and Blort himself was now an undead monster with no hope of making more of his absurd creations.  Unfortunately for the Beholders, evil cultist worshippers of some gibbering demon thing Resurrected Blort, and they now hold his secrets after torturing them out of him (and promptly killing him again).

Eye of Death(Su): Once every 1d4 rounds the Necros can fire a blast of Necromantic energy from it's eye.  This takes the form of a 150' Cone, and everything in it is subjected to a Finger of Death spell (DC 22 Willpower Save). 

Spawn Servants (Su): Anything killed by the Eye of Death effect rises as a Wraith the next day under the Necros' control.

Flight (Ex): A Necros' body is naturally buoyant granting it a permanent Feather Fall effect as per the spell of the same name with personal range.

Combat: Necros rely upon their Eye of Death.  If opponents seem immune to it and ambush by the Necros' undead servants, it will flee.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2008, 12:35:02 PM by bhu »

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #84 on: December 11, 2008, 01:10:30 PM »
Fairy Shrimp
Tiny Fey
Hit Dice: 1d6+1 (4 hp)
Initiative: +4
Speed: 20’ Swim, 40’ Flying (good)
Armor/Class: 20 (+4 Size, + 2 Natural, +4 Dex), touch 18, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple: + 0/ - 11
Attack: Nip –3 melee (1d3-3)
Space/Reach: 2 ½ '/ 0’
Special Attacks: Spell Like Abilities
Special Qualities: Damage Reduction 5/ Cold Iron, low-light vision, Amphibious,
Spell Resistance 17
Saves: Fort +1, Ref + 6, Will + 3
Abilities: Str 5, Dex 18, Con 13, Int 10, Wis 13, Cha 16
Skills: Bluff +7, Diplomacy +7, Hide + 16, Intimidate +7, Knowledge (Arcana)
+4, Spot + 5
Feats: Dodge
Environment: Warm Marshes
Organization: Solitary or Swarm (10 to 40)
Challenge Rating: 1
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Advancement: 2-3 HD (small), 4-6 HD (Medium), 7-12 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: -


"Leroy?"

"Whut Jebediah?"

We had too much Shine? Or is thuh Crawdaddies floating 'round us on wings?"

"Naw.  Naw they's flyin'."

Fairy Shrimp appear to be delicate shrimp like beings with butterfly or dragonfly wings. They haunt pools and rivers and wetlands in abundance, considering themselves protectors of the bayous. Granted their idea of protection is just annoying outsiders until they leave, but if it's effecteive you run with what you're good at. They speak Common and Sylvan.

Spell Like Abilities (Sp): Fairy Shrimp can cast spells as a Sorcerer equal to their Hit Dice. Instead of spells they are spell like abilities, making them somewhat more formidable (if they're older).

Combat: Fairy Shrimp rarely resort to combat, harrying their opponents with spells as a group instead. They tend to specialize in Conjuration, Divination, Enchantment, and Illusion.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2008, 12:35:45 PM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #85 on: December 11, 2008, 01:17:08 PM »

Dire Nymph
Medium Fey
Hit Dice: 8d6+20 (48 hp)
Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares), swim 15 ft.
Armor Class: 17 (+1 Dex, +2 Deflection, +2 natural armor), touch 13, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +4/+12
Attack: Club + 8 melee (1d8+4/19-20)
Full Attack: Club +8 melee (1d8+4/19-20)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Fury, Spell-like abilities, Stunning Glance
Special Qualities: Damage Reduction 10/ cold iron, low-light vision, powerful build,
Unusual grace, wild empathy
Saves: Fort + 8, Ref + 9, Will + 11
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 12, Con 18, Int 16, Wis 17, Cha 15
Skills: Concentration +11, Climb +10, Diplomacy +8, Handle Animal +11, Heal +12,
Hide + 10, Intimidate +6, Listen +12, Move Silently +10, Ride +8, Sense Motive +12, Spot
+12, Swim +10, Use Rope +6
Feats: Combat Casting, Power Attack, Improved Bull Rush, Cleave
Environment: Temperate Forests
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 8??
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Usually Chaotic Good
Advancement: 11-13 HD (Medium), 14-18 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: +6

"Wow you are wicked hot for a bigger woman"

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME FAT!?!?!?!"

"Uuuuhh...no I uh...I said you were hot.."

"YOU BETTER LEARN TO RUN _____"

Dire Nymphs were formerly Nymph's of exceptional beauty. Eventually some ticked off a god or some other powerful entity who cursed them to become more....buxom (for lack of a better term). With their newly gained weight the Nymph's were no longer able to blind opponents with their beauty and many became suicidal. Others became inexplicably frisky, and many new Dire Nymphs were created. In any event most Dire Nymphs left their seclusion and headed for more urban areas. They were quickly nicknamed "Pudgy" Nymphs by the less wise (who were promptly beaten within an inch of their lives). Nowadays they are rarely referred to as Nymphs in their presence (many going out of their way to find as polite as euphemism as they can). Dire Nymphs appear to be regular Nymphs plus 10 or 20 pounds.  They speak Common and Sylvan.

Fury(Ex): If a Dire Nymph is in any way referred to as fat, unattractive, or feels insulted (and they insult easily) or is hurt or in combat she goes into a Fury. This is similar to the Barbarian Rage and lasts as long and has the same restrictions. But instead of the standard ability adjustments the Nymph gains the following: Immune to Confused, Dazed, Dazzled, Fatigued, Fear, Nauseated, Paralysis, Sickened, Staggered, Stunned, and all Mind Affecting effects. She also is immune to pain and takes no penalties from spells like Symbol of Pain.

Stunning Glance (Su):An angry Dire Nymph may stun a creature within 30 feet with a look. It must make a DC 16 Fort save or be Stunned for 2d4 rounds. Save DC is Charisma based.

Spell Like Abilities (Sp):A Dire Nymph casts spells as a 9th level Druid. Typical Druid spells prepared (6/5/5/4/2/1, Save DC is 13 plus spell level). 0=Detect Magic, Guidance x3, Resistance x2. 1=Jump, Foundation of Stone, Longstrider, Ram's Might, Shillelagh. 2=Barkskin, Bear's Strength, Bull's Endurance, Mountain Stance, Spider Climb. 3=Lion's Charge, Thunderous Roar, Tremor. 4=Essence of the Raptor, Spark of Vitality. 5=Stoneskin.

Powerful Build (Ex): Identical to the racial ability listed in page 12 of the Expanded Psionics Handbook.

Unusual Grace (Su):A Dire Nymph adds her Charisma bonus to her Saves and as a Deflection Bonus to her Armor Class.

Wild Empathy(Ex): This works like the Druids class feature except the Dire Nymph has a +6 racial bonus on the check.

Combat: Dire Nymph's usually buff themselves as much as possible before combat if they know it's coming. Unless the Fury takes them. Then they tend to simply go berserk and wade into the fight.

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #86 on: December 15, 2008, 09:49:02 AM »
Beholder Cyclops, Somnos
Large Undead
Hit Dice: 16d12 (104 hp)
Initiative: +5
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), Fly 20 ft. (good)
Armor Class: 23 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +12 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed
22
Base Attack/Grapple: +8/+13
Attack: Bite +9 melee (1d6+1)
Full Attack: Bite +9 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Eye of Sleep
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Flight, Undead Traits
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +6, Will +12
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 12, Con -, Int 15, Wis 15, Cha 15
Skills: Knowledge (Arcane) +21, Listen +21, Move Silently +16, Search +21, Spot +21, Survival +21
Feats: Ability Focus (Eye of Sleep), Dodge, Fly-By Attack, Hover, Improved Flyby Attack, Mobility
Environment: Underdark
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 12
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Advancement: 17-30 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Burt...is that Beholder asleep?  I think we can take it Burt.  Burt?"

The Sons of the Sleeping Spider had a problem.  Honesty.  They tended to introduce themselves in ways that weren't conductive to business as usual for a demonic cult ("Hi.  Were from the Sons of the Sleeping Spider on fourth street.  We're here to steal your money and violate your daughters. And maybe kill your pets cause it's just so wrong.").  Finding out about Blort and torturing his secrets out of him was a windfall for the cult and they quickly set to work on making a Beholder Cyclops of their own.  Of all the possibilities they could have tried they went for the Sleep Eye, because it seemed thematically appropriate.  And because they were doofuses.  The inevitable Beholder community reaction was swift, and they stole all the cults notes themselves this time, finally (yeah, right) ensuring that there would be no more Beholder Cyclops.

Eye of Sleep(Su): The Somnos' central eye continually radiates the effects of a Symbol of Sleep, except it has no Hit Dice limit (DC 22 Willpower Save). Creatures immune to sleep are Dazed for 1 round instead.  The Somnos itself is immune to sleep, and cannot be affected even by other Somnos. 

Flight (Ex): A Somnos' body is naturally buoyant granting it a permanent Feather Fall effect as per the spell of the same name with personal range.

Combat: Somnos' usually try to sneak within range so their eye can zap opponents, before biting into one and fleeing before repeating this pattern in an attempt to pick people off slowly.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #87 on: December 15, 2008, 12:21:01 PM »
Habanero Dryad
Medium Fey
Hit Dice: 4d6 (14 hp)
Initiative: +4
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (+ 4 Dex, +1 natural), touch 14, flat-footed 11
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/ +2
Attack: Dagger +6 melee (1d4/19-20) or Grapple +6 melee, or Pepper Spray +6 ranged
Full Attack: Dagger +6 melee (1d4/19-20) or Grapple +6 melee, or Pepper Spray +6 Ranged
Space/Reach: 5’/ 5’
Special Attacks: Improved Grapple, Pepper Spray, Spell-like Abilities, Spicy Grapple
Special Qualities: Damage Reduction 5/cold iron, plant dependent, wild empathy
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +8, Will +6
Abilities: Str 10, Dex 19, Con 11, Int 14, Wis 15, Cha 18
Skills: Escape Artist +11, Handle Animal +11, Hide +11, Knowledge (Nature) +11,
Listen +9, Move Silently +11, Ride +6, Spot +9, Survival +9, Use Rope +4
Feats: Great Fortitude, Weapon Finesse
Environment: Warm Forests
Organization: Solitary or group (4-7)
Challenge Rating: 4?
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Advancement: By character class
Level Adjustment: -


"Hey baby you wanna night of warm lovin'?"

"How is it I always get the missions involving Dryads?"

"Cause of that incident in Bogonia where you were caught with the Lord's sister."

"SHE FORCED HERSELF ON ME DAMMIT!! How was I supposed to know she was man crazy?"

"Y'know if you weren't such a big manly Paladin I might actually believe that..."

Habanero Dryads appear similar to normal Dryads except their hair is leafy and their skin is green instead of wooden (the exception being their bosoms which are a bright orange. And like most brightly colored things this is nature's way of saying stay away monkey boy). Instead of being linked to a tree they are linked to a Habanero bush. This gives them some minor protection as some cultures value the Habanero for food, and virtually no animals want to eat them. Unfortunately for the local populace they will soon find out that Habanero Dryads are far more frisky than regular ones, and they're always on the hunt for a decent looking humanoid male. To the detriment of the aforementioned humanoid male, virtually all bodily fluids of the Dryad contain capsaicin, the chemical that makes peppers hot. Embracing one, let alone carrying it any further, has it's perils. Habanero Dryads speak Common, Elven, and Sylvan.

Improved Grapple (Ex): Habanero Dryads are experts at grabbing onto and hugging recalcitrant humans. They may make grapple attemps without provoking an attack of opportunity.

Pepper Spray (Ex): Once per round as a standard action a Habanero Dryad can hock a loogie at anyone within 20 feet. This is a ranged attack, and if it is successfult the victim must make a DC 12 Fortitude Save or be Blinded for 1d4 rounds. If the Dryad confirms a critical hit, the victim does not get a save.

Spicy Grapple (Ex): Habanero Dryads can sweat capsaicin at will. While grappling a victim they work it into his skin as much as possible. In addition to regular grppling damage, a victim must make a DC 12 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) each round it is in the grapple or be Dazed for 1 round, and Sickened for the duration of the Grapple and 1d4 rounds thereafter. The Save DC is +4 if the victim is lightly clothed or naked. Prolonged exposure (more than 10 rounds) causes actual chemical burns doing 2 points of acid damage a round thereafter. If the Grapple check is a natural 20, roll again as if confirming a critical hit. If successful the Dryad has worked the stuf into her opponents eyes, blinding him for 1d6 rounds if he fails a DC 12 Fortitude Save, and for 1 round if he makes it (Save DC is Fortitude based).

Plant Dependent (Su): The Habanero Dryad is mystically bound to her pepper bush and can't stray more than 300 yards from it. Those who do become ill and die within 4d6 hours. The bush does not radiate magic.

Spell Like Abilities (Sp): Same as regular Dryad.

Wild Empathy (Ex): This power works like the Druids class feature, except that the Dryad has a +6 Racial bonus on the check.

Combat: Similar to most Dryads really. They use their spell like abilities to charm potential problems. Or they spit pepper juice in their eyes and grapple till they give up.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2008, 12:36:47 PM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #88 on: December 16, 2008, 12:33:21 PM »
Cactus Dryad
Medium Fey
Hit Dice: 4d6+12 (26 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 16 (+2 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/+3
Attack: Fist +4 melee (1d4+1d6+1)
Full Attack: 2 Fists +4 melee (1d4+1d6+1)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Spell-Like Abilities, Thornskin
Special Qualities: Damage Reduction 5/Cold Iron, Cold Vulnerability, Cactus Dependent, Immune to Heat, Wild Empathy
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +7
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 14, Wis 17, Cha 16
Skills: Handle Animal +3, Hide +2, Intimidate +3, Knowledge (Nature) +2, Listen +3, Move Silently +2, Sense Motive +3, Spot +3, Survival +3
Feats: Improved Toughness, Weapon Finesse
Environment: Warm Deserts
Organization: Solitary, or Clsuter (4-7)
Challenge Rating: 4
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Usually Chaotic Neutral
Advancement: By Character Class
Level Adjustment: -

Dryad: "Soooooo...Mr. Paladin..."
Paladin: "Look, I do't want any trouble. I'm just here to collect the artifact I need for my quest. Are you ladies gonna give it to me, or....?"

(Insert Mass Giggling)

Dryad 2: "Oh, we're gonna give it to you allright.."
Paladin: "This is why I've never liked fey. No respect for the Law."
Dryad: "Give the girls a chance. They're a teensy upset cause they haven't had any dates in a while."
Paladin: "Madam in defense of my gender, you're covered in sticky needles."
Dryad: "And you can be too if you want..."
Paladin: "Just give me the artifact."
Dryad: "And what do we get in return? A woman has needs you know."
Paladin: "Woman???"
Dryad: "Yes, woman. Y'know me."
Paldin "YOU'RE A PLANT!!"
Dryad: "Look your getting needled one way or the other. Just cooperate and it'll be quicker."
Paladin: I am SO telling Pelor about this."

Cactus Dryads are similar to regular Dryads except they're tied to a Cactus as opposed to a tree. They're quite lonely living all alone out in the desert by themselves. Much information can be gotten from them by simply chatting with them. Except for attractive men. They have...a more difficult time.
Cactus Dryads are green-skinned women covered in cactus needles.  Cactus Dryads speak Common, Elven, and Sylvan.

Spell-Like Abilities (Sp): At will Briar Web (DC:15), Camouflage, Speak With Plants
3/day: Critical Strike, Forestfold, Quill Blast (DC:18)
1/day: Dehydrate (DC:16)

Caster Level 6, Save DC's are Wisdom based. All spells not listed in the PHB should be in the Spell Compendium.

Thornskin (Ex): Cactus Dryads do +1d6 piercing damage with their fists or grapples. Anyone striking them with an unarmed strike or natural wepaon, or grappling them takes 5 points of piercing damage.

Cactus Dependent (Su): This is the same as the standard Dryad's Tree Dependency, except it involves a cactus (see page 90 of the Monster Manual).

Wild Empathy (Ex): This power works like the Druid's Wild Empathy Class Feature except the Dryad has a +6 Racial Bonus on the check.

Combat: Generally the Dryads will Camouflage themselves and Hide. If the opponents are close they'll cast Critical Strike and try to surprise them, if not they'll use Quill Blast. Or Briar Web and then Dehydrate.

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #89 on: December 16, 2008, 12:40:12 PM »

                      Seaweed Dryad
                      Medium Fey (aquatic)
Hit Dice:             4d6+8 (22 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                Swim 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          15 (+5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/+6
Attack:               Grapple +6 (Grapple)
Full Attack:          Grapple +6 (Grapple)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Spell-Like Abilities, Improved Grab, Constrict (2d3+8)
Special Qualities:    Damage Reduction 5/Cold Iron, Seaweed Dependent
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 19, Dex 10, Con 14, Int 15, Wis 11, Cha 18
Skills:               Escape Artist +7, Hide +14, Knowledge (Nature) +9, Listen +7, Move Silently +11, Spot +7, Survival +7, Swim +19
Feats:                Great Fortitude, Skill Focus (Hide)
Environment:          Warm or Temperate Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary, or
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Chaotic Neutral
Advancement:          By Character Class
Level Adjustment:     --


"So...come here often sailor?"
"Pelor give me strength."
"We're more interested in your Endurance actually."

Seaweed Dryads appear as greenish women with dreadlocks made of seaweed.  They are sometimes a little friendlier to sailors than land Dryads are to people, but they are somewhat deadlier as well.  Even the animals leave them alone.  Not so much because they're more powerful, they're just more willing to do some damage.  Seaweed Dryads speak Common, Elven, and Sylvan.

Spell-Like Abilities (Sp): Caster Level 6, Save DC's are Wisdom based.
At will: Entangle (DC 11), Kelpstrand, Speak With Plants
3/day: Water Breathing, Charm Person (DC 11), Commune With Nature
1/day: Suggestion (DC 13)
Spells not in the PHB may be found in the Spell Compendium.

Improved Grab (Ex):  The Seawead Dryad may make a Grapple attempt without provoking attacks of opportunity.

Constrict(Ex): The Seaweed Dryad does 2d3+8 with a successful Grapple check.

Seaweed Dependent (Su): This is the same as the Tree Dependent ability regular Dryads have (see MM page 90-91), except instead of a tree it's a patch of seaweed.

Skills: A Seaweed Dryad has a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide and Move Silently checks (Hide Bonus increases to +8 in seaweed) and a +8 Racial Bonus to Swim checks.  they may always take 10 on a Swim check, and may use the Run Action while swimming in a straight line.

Combat: Seaweed Dryads usually lure surface dwellers in for a kiss promising them use of their Water Breathing spell.  Then they Grapple.  If a Grapple wont bring them down they'll try spells, or whatever weapon they may have found.  Usually they hide if they think they can't confront someone.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #90 on: December 17, 2008, 10:36:47 AM »
ORC AMAZONS


   
"The red headed Dwarf is mine."

 Once upon a time an Orc tribe was uprooted from it's ancestral home.  It journeyed across the world looking for a new place, growing smaller as it went due to attrition.  The men insisted on constantly fighting to get what the tribe needed or wanted, and it cost them many lives.  Eventually they came upon an idol in the jungle that spoke to them, and claimed to be a deity.  Surprisingly it actually was a deity as opposed to some poseur Outsider who wanted to fool with a band of refugees.  By this time they were down to a handful of women and children (all female), and one old male Orc who was on his last legs.  The deity vowed to help and support the tribe, and make it prosper if they accepted it.  The Orcs agreed after some conversation.  After all what had Gruumsh done for them?  They were exiled and all their men dead.  Plus in Orc society they'd always been property anyway. 

So they accepted the Deity's offer, and she revealed herself as a Female Orc named Tealeaf.  They were however perplexed at how they were going to prosper with no men.  Tealeaf showed them how to make the first Dating Clubs, and told them to go forth from the Jungle to the nearby humanoid settlements and "convince" other humanoid men a nights work was in their best interest.  This has led to the Amazons being a rather odd looking bunch of Orcs, but their mixed blood certainly has some advantages.

ORC AMAZON RACIAL TRAITS
·   +2 Constitution, -2 to one stat of your choice. (Please note that this is not a template to be added to an Orc, these are the stats that will be used).
·   Size Class: Medium
·   Type: Humanoid with the Orc subtype, and any one other humanoid subtype (elf, human, goblinoid, reptilian, etc.).  If a PrC requires a particular Racial Subtype that you have, you may qualify for that class (i.e. you may become a Dwarven Defender if Dwarf is your other Racial Subtype).
·   Base speed: 30 ft.
·   Dark Vision 60 ft.
·   Racial Impurities: When using a magical item/effect that gives penalties to one of your Racial Subtypes, or if someone is using a magic item/effect against you that gains a bonus against one of your Racial Subtypes you can make a Use Magic Item check as an Immediate Action.  If you can beat a DC 20, you do not count as that Racial Subtype for 1 hour.  You gain the benefits of any item that provides them to one of your racial subtypes as normal.
·   The Orc Amazons have a +4 Racial Bonus on Survival checks.
·   Automatic and Bonus languages: The Orc Amazons automatically speak Orc and Common.  Bonus languages depend on where they live, and are generally those of neighboring races.
·   Favored Class: Any class with Survival as a Class skill, the player must choose 1 class at creation and this is the Amazon's Favored Class.

STARTING AGE
 Adulthood: 14
 Barbarian, Rogue, Sorcerer: +1d4
 Bard, Fighter, Paladin, Ranger: +1d6
 Cleric, Druid, Monk, Wizard: +2d6

AGING EFFECTS
 Middle Age: 30
 Old: 45
 Venerable: 60
 Maximum Age: +2d10 years


HEIGHT AND WEIGHT
 Base Height: 4'5"
 Height Modifier: +2d12
 Base Weight: 110 lbs
 Weight Modifier: x2d6

ORC AMAZON CHARACTERS
 If the group needs a gung-ho, take no prisoners skirmisher, the Amazon is your girl.  Most will multiclass enough to be capable outside of combat as well.  Many make great soldiers, scouts, or saboteurs.
 Adventuring Race: Orc Amazons go on adventures for many reasons.  Some are bored.  Some want to be rich or famous.  Some don't think highly of the local men and want a decent husband/pet.
 Character Development: Amazons will tend to be self sufficient, so classes that have many skill points are the ones they tend to drift toward.  They are also fairly military minded after years of fighting to survive in the jungle, so combat classes  will also be a favorite.  Try making the best of your racial subtypes, as you may qualify for some pretty unusual mixes.
 Character Names: Names tend to be the same as any other Orcs but with a slight mix of first names from other cultures nearby.

ROLEPLAYING AN ORC AMAZON
 Exotic is the keyword here.  You're pretty unusual to say the least.  Many people will be attracted to you, or repelled based on that simple fact.  Your life will be made difficult by it, but it will bring moments of opportunity because of it as well.  You intend to make the best of those opportunities, while minimizing the fallout from the bad times.
 Personality: For Orcs the Amazons are pretty darn open and inviting.  Men are okay as long as they aren't attractive in some manner (i.e. one of the Amazons believes they'd be good breeding stock).  Attractive men get whacked over the head and dragged off a lot.  The Amazons tend to be unapologetic about this saying most men enjoy the aftermath so whats a few headshots between friends.  If said male is attached to someone, the Amazon will try to get her permission first of course.  They are slightly condescending towards men as the memories of how their ancestors were treated still runs deep in the culture. 
 Behaviors: Amazons are quite opinionated, and often feel the need to express themselves whether they are asked to or not.  While this my seem like bickering to outsiders, the Amazons are used to it and there are no hard feelings.  Implying that they are somehow lesser because of their gender usually means you will have to fight, and they may not stop hitting once you go down either. But they are also loyal to a fault, always keep their word if it's possible, and never go out of their way to cause trouble (excpet of course for the aforementioned bit about misogyny).
 Language: Orc Amazons still speak Orc and Common.

ORC AMAZON SOCIETY
 Amazon society is pretty tribal.  They haven't advanced much past the iron age, and many of their advances have come from mixing with nearby races and assimilating their skills into the tribe.  Men who are particularly skilled at something the tribe needs are very prized, and have almost as much freedom as women.  Other men are treated pretty much as throwaway concubines who don't matter much, although sometimes romance does happen.  All Amazon women spend time in their military as memories of the old days often linger, and they have no wish to return to slavery or dependency.  Self sufficiency is a common goal of most Amazons, and many have several Knowledge, Profession, or Craft skills even if they can only take a few ranks in each.  Better to know a little something than nothing at all they believe.  Their military spends as much or more time on survival skills as it does actual combat training.  At this time their society is at a sort of impasse.  They'd like to do something, but don't know what.  They'd like to be more than what they are, but aren't sure of the best way to go about it.
 Alignment : Virtually all Amazons are Chaotic, and many are Neutral.  Good and Evil seem relatively equally represented.
 Lands : Most Orcish Amazons live in the jungles of their new homeland.
 Settlements : It's almost unheard of for Amazons to leave their homeland.  Even if they do, they still prefer to live in the jungle.
 Beliefs : Most Orc Amazons worship Tealeaf exclusively.  After all she gave them a life free from servitude to men, they get to kidnap men who do take their fancy, and they don't have to spend their entire lives fighting a largely pointless war for Gruumsh.
 Relations: Orcish Amazons usually relate to other races by whacking their menfolk over the head and stealing them.  They have developed a bit of an evil reputation as "those damn homebreakers from the jungle".  Granted they always return the (slightly exhausted but happy) men.  Of course their wives sometimes cause such a fuss they ask not to be taken back...There are no 'regular' Orcs in their vicinity, but if any migrated they would be appalled at what they found and likely make it their life's work to wipe out the Amazons.

ORC AMAZONS ADVENTURES
·   You asked a local human woman for the services of her husband for a night or so, and not only did she refuse she had you beaten and thrown out of town.  Obviously you must summon the sisters and teach them a lesson...
·   A local Medusa has been turning the menfolk into statues.  This cheeses you off as you now have no date for Saturday.  Obviously you must summon the sisters and teach her a lesson...
·   A Goliath has somehow seduced your daughter into running off into the hills and getting married. 
Unfortunate rumor has it that he is...deceptive.  Obviously you must summon the sisters and teach him a lesson...

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #91 on: December 19, 2008, 11:43:31 AM »
Big Spookity Kitty
Tiny Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 6d10+18 (51 hp)
Initiative: +6
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 18 (+2 Size, +3 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+16
Attack: Claw +14 melee (1d2+6)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +14 melee (1d2+6) and 1 Bite +9 melee (1d3+3)
Space/Reach: 2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Pounce, Rake 1d2+6, Mean Little Bastard
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Scent, Sassy, Dark Vision 60'
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +7, Will +3
Abilities: Str 23, Dex 15, Con 17, Int 8, Wis 12, Cha 12
Skills: Balance +12, Climb +12, Hide +8, Jump +16, Listen +3, Move Silently +7, Spot +3
Feats: Anklebiter, Dodge, Improved Initiative
Environment: Temperate Plains
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Family (3-5 plus 5-20 Little Spookity Kitties)
Challenge Rating: 3???
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 7-12 HD (Tiny), 13-18 HD (Small)
Level Adjustment: ----

"Aww, look at the lil kitties!!!"

Big Spookity Kitties were an experiment by a particularly loony mage who wanted intelligent guards that didn't stand out, but still had a punch. They appear to be ordinary housecats but for that little gleam in their eyes.  They understand common, but cannot speak.

Mean Little Bastard (Ex): Big Spookity Kitties do not take a Size penalty to Grapple checks.

Sassy (Ex): Big Spookity Kitties are immune to fear and morale effects.

Skills (Ex): Kitties have a +4 Racial Bonus on Climb, Hide, and Move Silently checks (hide bonus increases to +8 in tall grass or heavy undergrowth). They also have a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance and Jump checks. And a +4 Racial Bonus to all Grapple checks.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Kitty hits with a bite or claw attack it may attempt a grapple chack as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If the grapple check succeeds it may use its Rake attack.

Combat: Kitties tend to enjoy stalking their prey and will use group tactics if they aren't on a solo hunt. Otherwise they are very straightforward, charging in and immediately attempting to set up a grapple so they can Rake their opponent into submission.


Little Spookity Kitty
Diminutive Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 3d10+6 (22 hp)
Initiative: +5
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 16 (+4 Size, +1 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+10
Attack: Claw +10 melee (4 pts)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +10 melee (4 pts) and 1 Bite +5 melee (1d2+1)
Space/Reach: 1 ft./ 0 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Pounce, Rake (4 pts), Mean Little Bastard
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Scent, Sassy, Dark Vision 60'
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +1
Abilities: Str 16, Dex 12, Con 15, Int 4, Wis 10, Cha 10
Skills: Balance +9, Climb +7, Hide +6, Jump +11, Listen +4, Move Silently +6, Spot +4
Feats: Anklebiter, Improved Initiative
Environment: Temperate Plains
Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Pack (5-20)
Challenge Rating: 2??
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 4-5 HD (Diminutive)
Level Adjustment: ----

"Awwwwww...look at the little teeny kitties.."

Little Spookity Kitties are Big Spookity Kitty kittens.

Mean Little Bastard (Ex): Kitties do not take a Size penalty to Grapple checks.

Sassy (Ex): Little Spookity Kitties are immune to fear and morale effects.

Skills (Ex): Kitties have a +4 Racial Bonus on Climb, Hide, and Move Silently checks (hide bonus increases to +8 in tall grass or heavy undergrowth). They also have a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance and Jump checks. And a +4 Racial Bonus to all Grapple checks.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Kitty hits with a bite or claw attack it may attempt a grapple check as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If the grapple check succeeds it may use its Rake attack.

Combat: Pretty much just like the Big Spookity Kitties.




Little Spookity Kitty Swarm
Diminutive Magical Beast (Swarm)
Hit Dice: 18d10 +36 (135 hp)
Initiative: +5
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 16 (+4 Size, +1 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +18/-
Attack: Swarm (4d6)
Full Attack: Swarm (4d6)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./ 0 ft.
Special Attacks: Distraction
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Scent, Sassy, Dark Vision 60'. Swarm traits, Immune to Weapon Damage
Saves: Fort +13, Ref +13, Will +6
Abilities: Str 16, Dex 12, Con 15, Int 4, Wis 10, Cha 10
Skills: Balance +9, Climb +8, Hide +9, Jump +11, Listen +6, Move Silently +9, Spot +6
Feats: Anklebiter, Improved Initiative
Environment: Temperate Plains
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 10
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: -
Level Adjustment: ----


"Ummm..why are those kitties lookin' at us like that Granpa?"

Sometimes Little Spookity Kitties are separated from their parents by death or misfortune. If not killed or raised by Druids as companions they form small prides and ambush prey.

Sassy (Ex): Spookity Kitties are immune to fear and morale effects.

Skills (Ex): Kitties have a +4 Racial Bonus on Climb, Hide, and Move Silently checks (hide bonus increases to +8 in tall grass or heavy undergrowth). They also have a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance and Jump checks. And a +4 Racial Bonus to all Grapple checks.

Distraction (Ex): Any living creature that begins its turn with a swarm in its square must make a DC 21 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated for 1 round (Save is Constitution based).

Combat: Rush em and start tearing is the standard.  Not very tactical are kittens...



Anklebiter
You are well adjusted to attacking from below
 Prerequisites: Tiny Size Class or smaller
 Benefits: Normally with a Reach of 0 you would provoke an attack of opportunity when entering someone else's square.  But not in this case.  You're a special kitty who breaks that rule due to training.  You do not provoke an AoO from entering an opponents square.
« Last Edit: December 19, 2008, 11:53:53 AM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #92 on: December 19, 2008, 12:03:36 PM »
Sometimes the gods have a particularly odd sense of humor. Or perhaps they like to get drunk or stoned. In any event they seem to be responsible for cursing the occasional animal with Were-humanism. Under the light of the full moon these poor creatures become humans. This is not a pleasant experience for them, as slowly over the period of a month they become fully intelligent. But even though they have intelligence that doesn't immediately help them. Fish in the middle of the ocean or birds who are flying at a great height....usually don't enjoy their first transformation. Or survive it. Even animals that do survive the wilderness and learn to control their transformation over time have problems when discovered by people. They're naked, cant talk, and act like animals. Which means people think they are cursed (which is true) and find someone to dispel the curse (turning the Were Human into a normal, unintelligent animal again), burn them as witches in some sort of misunderstanding, or take them in and try to teach them to be people "again". This rarely works out well as the Were Human still has certain atavistic responses. Spiders are still tempted to eat their mates after um..mating. Sharks still view everything as food. Squirrels are obsessed with hoarding nuts. You get the idea.


Creating a Were Human

Were Human is an Acquired or Inherited template that can be added to any Animal or Vermin.

Size and Type: The base creatures type changes to Magical Beast, and it gains the Shapechanger subtype. Size in animal form is unchanged. Size in Human form is Medium. Size in Hybrid form is midway between the two. For example a Colossal Giant Spider would be Huge in its Hybrid form. (To make this easier assign each Size Class a number, add the 2 numbers and divide by 2 and round down. Fine:1, Diminutive:2, Tiny:3, etc.).

Hit Dice: Hit Dice become d10's now that the Were Human is a Magical Beast.

Speed: Land and Swim speed remains unchanged in all 3 forms. If the base creature has no land speed, the hybrid form has a land speed of 15. Flight speed is unavailable in Human form, and half normal in Hybrid form (maneuverability class is one worse than Animal form).

Armor Class: Remains unchanged in animal form. Natural armor bonus is half normal (round up) in Hybrid form, and +0 in human form.

Attack: Base Attack Bonus now becomes +1 per Hit Die. The Were Human retains all natural attacks in Hybrid and Animal forms (although the damage of the attacks in it's Hybrid form may be modified due to the change in Size, see page 291 of the Monster manual). In human form a Were-Human is considered to have the Improved Unarmed Strike Feat

Special Attacks: All Special Attacks are retained in Animal and Hybrid Forms. Only the following Special Attacks are retained in Human form: Ferocity, Improved Grab, Pounce, Rage, Trip. Improved Grab now triggers with a successful unarmed strike. It also gains Cursed Attack while in Animal and Hybrid form:

Cursed Attack (Su): Any animal or vermin successfully bitten by a Were Human becomes a Were Human itself unless it makes a successful Fortitude Save. Save DC is 10 + 1/2 Hit Dice + Constitution modifier. If the base creature does not normally have a bite attack it now gains a Bite as a secondary attack doing 1 point of damage plus 1/2 Strength modifier.

Special Qualities: The Were Human retains all Special qualities in all 3 forms, except Ink Cloud, Jet, Blindsight, and qualities based on alternative physiologies. These are only available in Animal and Hybrid Forms. Vermin Were Humans lose the Mindless Trait as well. Aquatic Were Humans (i.e. Fish) gain Hold Breath in Human form. They may hold their breath for 8 x their Constitution modifier in rounds before they risk drowning (but since they have no problem making swim checks it wont be too much of a problem). All Were Humans gain Alternate Form, Empathy, and DR 10/Silver in all 3 forms.

Alternate Form (Su): The Were Human can assume a bipedal Hybrid Form or become a human. Only the appearance really changes. The Human and Hybrid forms have hands, but that's the only real difference. Changing forms is a full round action until the Were Human has made a DC 15 Willpower Save to control it. After this changing forms is a standard action. Separated body parts or dead Were Humans revert to animal form.

Empathy (Su): The Were Human can communicate with animals of its own species and receives a +4 Racial bonus on Charisma based skill checks against them. It doesn't know how to speak human languages, but still receives the +4 bonus on Charisma based skill checks. Maybe its pheromones. Or maybe people aren't as smart as they think....

Abilities: With the exception of Strength abilities remain the same in all 3 forms. The Were Human rolls 3d6 for Int, and gets +2 Wis, and +4 Cha. For Strength in Hybrid Form, add 10 plus the Animal Forms Strength, divide by 2, and round up. For Strength in human form take 10 and add (or subtract if negative) the Animal Forms Strength modifier.

Saves: If the Were Human was a vermin its Saving Throws must be recalculated as it is now a Magical Beast.

Skills: Racial skill bonuses are retained in all 3 forms.  Initially the Were Human knows no languages, but can learn them.

Feats: Unchanged.

Environment: Unchanged.

Organization: Usually becomes Solitary. Pack creatures may form packs if there are enough of them.

Challenge Rating:+1

Treasure: Standard

Alignment: Still Neutral, though that may begin to alter depending on the Were Humans newfound circumstances.

Advancement: By Character Class

Level Adjustment:+1

Human Appearance: The Were Humans human form appears to be of a member of the nearest human race. In a land of Mongolians, it appears as a Mongolian. Scaly animals will have rough skin, hairy animals will still be uncommonly hairy, etc. Animals without hair will be bald in human form. Skin color will be within the human range but similar to its animal form. For example a shark will be very pale, or have a slight greyish cast to its skin. A giant Fire Ant will be copper colored similar to a Native American. This causes some problems when skin color and racial type are not similar, but since most people will believe the Were Human is cursed anyway it lessens the impact of their strange appearance.



Authors Note: I know this is somewhat different than the standard Lycanthrope Template, but it IS a bit unusual, and meant for a silly campaign.

Example Were-Human: "Buffalo" Bill Johnson

Human Form
Medium Magical Beast (Shapechanger)
Hit Dice: 5d8+15 (37 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 10 , touch 10, flat-footed 10
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/+8
Attack: Unarmed Strike +8 melee (1d3+3)
Full Attack: Unarmed Strike +8 melee (1d3+3)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, Scent, DR 10/Silver, Alternate Form, Empathy
Saves: Fort +7, Ref +4, Will +1
Abilities: Str 16, Dex 10, Con 16, Int 10, Wis 13, Cha 8
Skills: Listen +7, Spot +7
Feats: Alertness, Endurance
Environment: Temperate Plains
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: By Class Levels
Level Adjustment: -


Hybrid Form
Medium Magical Beast (Shapechanger)
Hit Dice: 5d8+15 (37 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 12 (+2 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/+8
Attack: Gore +8 melee (1d6+4)
Full Attack: 1 Gore +8 melee (1d6+4 and 1 Bite +3 melee (2 pts)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Cursed Attack
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, Scent, DR 10/Silver, Alternate Form, Empathy
Saves: Fort +7, Ref +4, Will +1
Abilities: Str 16, Dex 10, Con 16, Int 10, Wis 13, Cha 8
Skills: Listen +7, Spot +7
Feats: Alertness, Endurance
Environment: Tempreate Plains
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: By Class Levels
Level Adjustment: ----


Bison Form
Large Magical Beast (Shapechanger)
Hit Dice: 5d8+15 (37 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 13 (-1 Size, +4 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/+15
Attack: Gore +11 melee (1d8+9)
Full Attack: 1 Gore +11 melee (1d8 +9) and 1 Bite +8 melee (5pts)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Cursed Attack
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, Scent, DR 10/Silver, Empathy, Alternate Form
Saves: Fort +7, Ref +4, Will +1
Abilities: Str 22, Dex 10, Con 13, Int 10, Wis 13, Cha 8
Skills: Listen +7, Spot +7
Feats: Alertness, Endurance
Environment: Temperate Plains
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: By Class level
Level Adjustment: ---

Late one July evening a simple Buffalo was bitten by a Coyote Were-Human whom his herd promptly stomped to death. This Buffalo found himself growing ever more self aware over the coming weeks. He began to think. "Is this all I do with my life? Eat grass?" "Why are the other Buffalo so bloody stupid?" Man, I really need a bath."

Eventually he split from the herd and wondered near a human settlement on the night of the full moon where he received the shock of his life as he turned into a naked man. He then received the second great shock of his life as a woman marched out of her hut, screamed upon seeing him, and knocked him blissfully unconscious with the club she was carrying. At which point he became a Buffalo.

Thankfully the town knew of a nearby Druid who explained things. Bill has been adopted by the Johnson family who are currently trying to teach him several things: How to speak the common language, how to work a farm, and why being naked is bad for you.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #93 on: December 19, 2008, 12:09:13 PM »
Were-Kittens

Originally created by the Goddess of Lycanthropes to serve as her spies, Were Kittens have spread about the world. Many other organizations have found ways to use them besides hers, and they have found a very lucrative niche in some places. Some others simply enjoy life as kittens and the free food that comes with being one 

Were Kitten is an Acquired or Inherited template that can be added to any humanoid.

Size and Type: Type doesn’t change, but it does gain the Shapechanger subtype. Size in Kitten form is Diminutive, Size in Hybrid form is Tiny. Size in humanoid form is unchanged.

Hit Dice: Unchanged

Speed: Land speed is 30 in Hybrid and Kitten forms, otherwise unchanged. May not use any alternate movement forms the humanoid form possesses in the Kitten or hybrid Forms.

Armor Class: Use the humanoid forms Natural Armor bonus for all 3 forms. Natural Armor bonus increases by +1.

Base Attack/Grapple: Use the humanoids BAB for all 3 forms (Grapple bonus will change due to Size penalties in Hybrid and Kitten forms).

Attacks: Same as base creature in Humanoid form, same as Kitten in Kitten Form (Kittens have 2 claw attacks doing 1 point of damage plus Strength bonus, and 1 Bite doing 1d2 + 1/2 Strength bonus), attacks are the same as a Cat in Hybrid form.

Special Attacks: Hybrid and Kitten Forms gain Cursed Bite.

Cursed Bite (Su): Identical to the ability listed under Lycanthropes in the Monster Manual, except it only works on Humanoids, and has no limitation on Size.

Special Qualities: All 3 forms possess Low Light Vision, Scent, Alternate Form, Cat Empathy, and Damage Reduction 5/Silver.

Alternate Form (Su):Identical to the Alternate Form ability listed in the Monster Manual for Lycanthropes.

Cat Empathy (Su): Can communicate with Cats and has a +4 Racial bonus on Charisma based checks to influence them.

Saves: Increase Base creatures Fortitude and Reflex Saves by +2.

Abilities: Were Kittens gain +2 Wis. Physical Stats in Kitten Form are -10 Str, +10 Dex, Con unchanged. Physical Stats in Hybrid Form are -8 Strength, +8 Dex.

Skills:Were Kittens gain a + 8 Racial bonus to Jump and Balance checks. They also have a +4 Racial bonus to Climb, Hide, and Move Silently checks. In Kitten and Hybrid forms while in heavy undergrowth or tall grass the Hide bonus increases to +8. Were Kittens may use their Strength or Dexterity modifier for Climb and Jump checks, whichever is better.

Feats:Weapon Finesse and Iron Will as Bonus Feats.

Environment: Unchanged.

Organization: Solitary (Unchanged if there are enough other Were Kittens about, or in squads of 5-10 if working for the Lycanthrope Goddess).

Challenge Rating:+1

Treasure: Standard

Alignment: Usually Neutral with some tendencies towards Chaos.

Advancement: By Character Class

Level Adjustment:+1


Example Were Kitten: 1st level human Ninja, Lil Mister Fuzzy

Human Form

Medium Humanoid (Shapechanger)
Hit Dice: 1d6-1 (5 hp)
Initiative: +2
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 16 (+2 Dex, +1 Natural, +3 Ninja), touch 15, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +0/+1
Attack: Short Sword +2 melee (1d6+1) or Short Bow +2 Ranged (1d6)
Full Attack: Short Sword +2 melee(1d6+1) or Short Bow +2 Ranged (1d6)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: +1d6 Sudden Strike
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, Scent, Alternate Form, Cat Empathy, DR 5/Silver, Trapfinding, Ki Power 4/day
Saves: Fort +1, Ref +6, Will +3
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 15, Con 8, Int 10, Wis 16, Cha 13
Skills: Balance, Climb, Hide, Jump, Move Silently
Feats: Alertness, Iron Will, Weapon Finesse
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Organization (10-1000)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: By character class
Level Adjustment: +1


Hybrid Form

Tiny Humanoid (Shapechanger)
Hit Dice: 1d6-1 (5 hp)
Initiative: +6
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 22 (+2 Size, +6 Dex, +1 Natural, +3 Ninja), touch 21, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple: +0/-11
Attack: Claw +6 melee (1d2-3)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +8 (1d2-3) and 1 Bite +3 melee(1d3-3)
Space/Reach: 2 1/2 ft./ 0 ft.
Special Attacks: +1d6 Sudden Strike, Cursed Bite
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, Scent, Cat Empathy, Alternate Form, DR 5/Silver, Trapfinding, Ki Power 4/day
Saves: Fort +1, Ref +10, Will +3
Abilities: Str 4, Dex 23, Con 8, Int 10, Wis 16, Cha 13
Skills: Balance, Climb, Hide, Jump, Move Silently
Feats: Alertness, Iron Will, Weapon Finesse
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Organization (10-1000)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: By Character Class
Level Adjustment: +1

Kitten Form

Diminutive Humanoid (Shapechanger)
Hit Dice: 1d6-1 (5 hp)
Initiative: +7
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 25 (+4 Size,+7 Dex, +1 Natural, +3 Ninja ), touch 24, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +0/-16
Attack: Claw +11 melee (1 point -4)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +11 melee (1 point-4) and 1 Bite +6 melee (1d2-4)
Space/Reach: 1 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: +1d6 Sudden Strike, Cursed Bite
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, Scent, Cat Empathy, Alternate Form, DR 5/Silver, Trapfinding, Ki Power 4/day
Saves: Fort +1, Ref +11, Will +3
Abilities: Str 2, Dex 25, Con 8, Int 10, Wis 16, Cha 13
Skills: Balance, Climb, Hide Jump, Move Silently
Feats: Alertness, Iron Will
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Organization (10-1000)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: By Character Class
Level Adjustment: +1

Lord Fuzzington: Good evening everyone, please be seated!
(crowd murmurs)
Lord Fuzzington: As you know the local sushi house, Bob's Stale Fish has been ransacked and taken over by PIRATES!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! HIIISSSS!!
Lord Fuzzington: We cannot allow this!
Crowd: YEAH!
Lord Fuzzington:Tonite our claws shall drink deeply into their poofy pirate pants!
Crowd: YEAH!
Lord Fuzzington:  And their poofy pirate ways!
Crowd: YEAH!
Lord Fuzzington: As I understand the captain and his core crew are currently passed out drunk at the Buggered Choir Boy. After we dispatch them we retake Bobs!
Crowd: YEAH!
Lord Fuzzington: And the gods willing Bob will be a little less stingy with the free sashimi for kitties in the future...
Crowd: YEAH!

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #94 on: December 20, 2008, 07:35:08 AM »
Beholder Cyclops, Tardos
Large Aberration
Hit Dice: 16d8+64 (136 hp)
Initiative: +6
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), Fly 20 ft. (good)
Armor Class: 23 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +12 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed
22
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/+16
Attack: Bite +12 melee (1d6+1)
Full Attack: Bite +12 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Eye of Slowness
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Flight
Saves: Fort +11, Ref +7, Will +14
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 14, Con 18, Int 14, Wis 15, Cha 15
Skills: Concentration +6, Hide +15, Knowledge (Local) +23, Listen +21, Search +23, Spot +21, Survival +21
Feats: Ability Focus (Eye of Slowness), Alertness, Dodge, Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, Iron Will
Environment: Underdark
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 12
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Advancement: 17-30 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Yoooooouuuuu suuuuuuuuuckkkkk...."

"Betcha won't call me Retardos next time huh?"

Despite the Beholder governments best efforts at some point another batch of Cyclops' appeared.  How the government of the small city of Slackjaw got the notes or resources to pull it off is unknown.  But they decided, against all common sense, to make a series of Tardos as debuffing artillery, the idea being to slow down opponents so badly that their own inferior troops could take them out.  But they ended up a laughingstock (Tardos is an unfortunate name), and even worse got wiped out by the Beholders.  Doesn't pay to be ambitious.  Tardos speak Common and Beholder.


Eye of Slowness (Su): The Tardos' main eye emits a 150' cone of energy.  Anything in the Cone must make a DC 22 Willpower Save, or be Slowed as per the spell (penalty is doubled though). 

Flight (Ex): A Tardos' body is naturally buoyant granting it a permanent Feather Fall effect as per the spell of the same name with personal range.

Combat: The Tardos tends to zap foes with it's eye, then make Flyby attacks wearing them down in a war of attrition.


bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #95 on: December 20, 2008, 01:39:10 PM »
Good Kitty
Tiny Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 18d10+36 (135 hp)
Initiative: +8
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 21 (+2 Size, +4 Dex, +4 Deflection, +1 Natural), touch 20, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple: +18/+7
Attack: Claw +24 melee (1d2 -3)
Full Attack: 2 Claws + 24 melee (1d2-3) and 1 Bite (1d3-3)
Space/Reach: 2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Gaze Attack
Special Qualities: Scent, Dark Vision 60', Telepathy (150'), Low Light Vision, Unreadable
Saves: Fort +13, Ref +15, Will +12
Abilities: Str 5, Dex 19, Con 15, Int 15, Wis 19, Cha 19
Skills: Balance +12, Bluff +14, Diplomacy +14, Climb +18, Gather Information +14, Hide +16, Jump +12, Knowledge (local) +12, Listen +14, Move Silently +16, Sense Motive +14, Spot +14
Feats: Weapon Finesse, Ability Focus (Gaze Attack), Alertness, Improved Initiative, Dodge, Mobility, Iron Will
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Pair
Challenge Rating: 10
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Usually Chaotic Neutral
Advancement: 19-25 HD (Small)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Sassy is mama's good widdle piddy!  Yes she is!"

Good kitties are hyper intelligent, extra fwuffy kitties who's goals are generally to take over the world. Not out of malice, but because of a sincere belief that they can do better than people. Generally they move into a village and begin to slowly influence people, and work their way up the chain of command until they are the power behind the throne so to speak. They are often quite fond of their charges and will protect them as much as they can, but being Neutral they are still as selfish and capricious as any Kitty. An easy sign of their presence in a village is that at least one farmer will be cultivating a field of catnip.

And woe be unto he who shall disrupt the catnip production.

Good Kitties speak common and any 2 other languages of the DM's choice.

Skills (Ex): Kitties have a +4 Racial Bonus on Climb, Hide, and Move Silently checks (hide bonus increases to +8 in tall grass or heavy undergrowth). They also have a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance and Jump checks. kitties may use their Str or Dex modifier for Climb or Jump checks.

Unreadable (Su): The Good Kitty detects as being Neutral Good regardless of its actual alignment. This effect cannot be dispelled but it does turn off in an antimagic field.

Gaze Attack (Su): Charm Monster, 30', DC 25 Willpower Save negates. Save is Charisma based. Caster level is equal to Hit Dice.

Spell-Like Abilities (Sp): At will: Detect Thoughts (DC 16), Discern Shapechanger, Entice Gift (DC 16), Locate Objects, See Invisibility

3/day: Arcane Sight, Clairaudience/Clairvoyance, Detect Scrying, Lesser Geas (DC 18), Lesser Telepathic Bond, Know Vulnerabilities (DC 18), Locate Creature, Scrying (DC 18), Suggestion (DC 17)

1/day: Dominate Person

Combat: Good Kitties rarely participate in combat, as t hey are not meant for it. They will send charmed subjects to defend them or run away.  If they know their opponent doesn't know what they are they may be telepathically directing the battle from nearby.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #96 on: December 20, 2008, 01:45:25 PM »
Cash Cow
Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 4d8+16 (34 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 24 (-1 Size, +15), touch 9, flat-footed 24
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+12
Attack: Butt +7 melee (1d8+8)
Full Attack: Butt +7 melee (1d8+8)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Stampede, Trample (2d6+16)
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Scent, Valuable, DR 5/Adamantine
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +4, Will +1
Abilities: Str 20, Dex 10, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha 6
Skills: Listen +6, Spot +5
Feats: Alertness, Endurance
Environment: Temperate Plains
Organization: Solitary or Herd (6-30)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: See text
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 5-6 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Abner...that cow's hide looks ta be made o' Platinum..."

Cash Cows appear to be regular cattle whose hide has a somewhat metallic sheen. When killed they may be dissected as many of their organs are precious metals. It's uncertain exactly how they came about, but an insane mage is assumed to be the case as usual. Someone wanted cattle that could eat earth and raw ore and poop refined metals. He got it, but in the process they convert so much of the stuff that their insides slowly become metal. They are the same size as normal cattle but weigh half again as much.

Stampede (Ex): A frightened herd of Cash Cattle run in a random direction, literally running over anything Large or smaller. Anything in their path takes 1d12 damage for every 5 cattle in the herd (Reflex Save DC 17 for half damage, Save DC is Strength based).

Trample (Ex): Reflex Save DC 17 for half damage (Save DC is Strength based)

Valuable (Ex): Cash Cattle are pretty much inedible, and so is their milk. However if fed raw ore they can 'refine' it into a purified state (a full grown cow can 'process' 2 pounds of raw ore per day). Fully mature cattle are worth about 5 GP per pound (and weigh up to 2000 pounds) dead, but quite a bit more alive.

Combat: Preeetty much the same as your standard cow really...

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #97 on: December 20, 2008, 01:51:27 PM »
Armordillo
Small Magical Beast
Hit Dice: 2d8+10 (19 hp)
Initiative: -2
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares), Burrow 5 ft.
Armor Class: 33 (+1 Size, -2 Dex, +24 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 33
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/-3
Attack: Nibble +2 melee (1d3)
Full Attack: Nibble +2 melee (1d3)
Space/Reach: 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Damage Reduction 10/-, Energy Resistance 20 (all types), Immunities, Hard to Budge, Scent, Fortified
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +1, Will +0
Abilities: Str 10, Dex 6, Con 20, Int 1, Wis 10, Cha 2
Skills: Listen +5, Spot +4
Feats: Alertness
Environment: Warm Plains
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 3-4 HD (Small)
Level Adjustment: ---

"Martha...I just broke my sledgehammer on thet critter's head.  Time to call the professionals..."

The Armordillo appears to be a normal armadillo in all respects except 3:

It is a voracious devourer of vegetable crops.
It is incredibly heavy (200 pounds) for it's size.
It has no fear.

Whether it was created , or evolved naturally, 10 out of 10 farmers agree the Armordillo has to go.  The problem is how.  The things are damn near invulnerable, so unless they're willing to shell out serious money for high level mages, they're stuck with them.


Immunities (Ex): The Armordillo is immune to Fear or morale based effects. It is also immune to non lethal damage, and cannot be Stunned, Dazed, or Staggered.  It is immune to the Magic Missile spell.

Fortified (Ex): If an enemy confirms a critical result on an attack roll the Armordillo has a 50% chance of making it just a normal hit.

Hard to Budge (Ex):The Armordillo does not take a Size Penalty when resisting Grapple, Bull Rush, or Trip checks. It also has a +4 Racial Bonus when resisting such checks.

Combat: Armordillo's never initiate combat. They go about their business of devouring crops, and sometimes even ignore attackers if they can't manage to do any damage.  The sight of a bunch of villagers breaking their farming tools on the back of a small critter has stunned more than one PC.
« Last Edit: December 21, 2008, 04:17:27 AM by bhu »

Prak, the Mad

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #98 on: December 20, 2008, 04:05:55 PM »
The armordillo should have a special roll attack.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #99 on: December 21, 2008, 12:46:52 PM »
The armordillo should have a special roll attack.

Fighting one now is kind of a war of attrition.  It doesnt do much damage, but hurting it is kinda hard...