Author Topic: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature  (Read 147663 times)

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bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #640 on: January 13, 2011, 09:07:08 AM »
Gronckle
                      Large Dragon
Hit Dice:             10d12+50 (115 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 40 ft. (Poor)
Armor Class:          19 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 19
Base Attack/Grapple:  +10/+18
Attack:               Bite +13 melee (1d8+4/18-20) or Tail Club +13 melee (1d8+4)
Full Attack:          Bite +13 melee (1d8+4/18-20) or Tail Club +13 melee (1d8+4)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Lava Cough, Flying Headbutt, Rock Crushing Jaws
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', dragon traits, Fire Resistance 15, Collision Resistant, Hummingbird Flight, DR 2/-
Saves:                Fort +11, Ref +7, Will +7
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 10, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha 11
Skills:               Listen +13, Spot +13
Feats:                Ability Focus (Lava Cough), Hover, Improved Bull Rush, Power Attack
Environment:          Warm or Temperate Mountains
Organization:         Solitary or Pair
Challenge Rating:    7
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          11-20 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"If you're planning on getting eaten, I'd definitely go with the Gronckle."

Gronckles are among the toughest of dragons in their size range.  They have to be.  Since they are mildly narcoleptic, it's the only way they survive falling out of the sky and crashing into mountains.  Despite being slow and ungainly looking they are like hummingbirds, able to fly sideways, backwards, and even upside down. 

Lava Cough (Ex): The Gronckle eats solid rock which melts to molten lava in it's gullet.  It can store up to 6 'shots' at a time.  To recharge it eats 5 pounds of rock per shot (which converts to usable lava 24 hours later).  As a Full Round Action it can make a Ranged Touch Attack against a square.  Anything in that square takes 2d6 fire damage (Reflex Save for half damage).

Flying Headbutt (Ex): As a Full Round Action you can make a Flying Charge Attack doing 1d8+8 damage.  If it is successful you automatically get a Bull Rush Attack as a Free Action (remember the +4 you get for Improved Bull Rush for a total of +14 t o the Gronckles check).

Rock Crushing Jaws (Ex): Your jaws are made to grind up rock, and threaten a critical on an 18-20.

Collision Resistant (Ex): Gronckles take a maximum of 1 point of damage per damage die from falling damage.

Hummingbird Flight (Ex): Despite having Poor Flight, the Gronckle can Move Backward, Reverse for Free, can turn in place to fly sideways, and has no Minimum Forward Speed (see DMG page 20).

Combat: Assuming they're awake and have eaten enough rocks the Gronckle opens by spitting molten lava.  Otherwise it charges and headbutts it's opponents, and then bites away till they die.

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #641 on: January 15, 2011, 11:11:36 AM »
Giant Starfish updated

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #642 on: January 25, 2011, 08:31:00 AM »
Hideous Zippleback
                      Huge Dragon
Hit Dice:             14d12+56 (147 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Fly 50 ft. (Good)
Armor Class:          18 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple:  +14/+30
Attack:               2 Bites +20 melee (2d6+8)
Full Attack:          2 Bites +20 melee (2d6+8)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Twin Heads, Explosive Breath
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', dragon traits, Fire Resistance 20
Saves:                Fort +13, Ref +11, Will +11
Abilities:            Str 26, Dex 15, Con 18, Int 6, Wis 14, Cha 12
Skills:               Hide +6, Listen +23, Move Silently +20, Spot +23
Feats:                Ability Focus (Explosive Breath), Combat Reflexes, Daunting Presence, Hover, Improved Trip, Combat Expertise (B)
Environment:          Warm or Temperate Mountains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     8
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Usually Neutral
Advancement:          15-21 HD (Huge), 22-28 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment:     ---

The Hideous Zippleback is an unusual dragon with two heads (rare examples have 3) that have distinct personalities, two tails, and small wings (even though they can fly prefer to stay to the ground). 

Twin Heads (Ex): Due to having two heads with separate personalities, the Zippleback gets two attacks per round with a Standard Action.  If targeted by an effect that Dazes or Stuns it, this affects one head unless the attack is an Area of Effect.

Explosive Breath (Ex): 3 times per day as a Full Round Action the Zippleback can exhale a 20'x20'x20' cloud of green gas that provides Total Concealment and obscures all Vision inside it.  A moderate wind (11+ mph) will disperse it in 4 rounds, and a strong wind (21+ mph) will disperse it in 1 round.  Otherwise it lingers for a full minute.  During this time a single point of fire or electrical damage within the clouds area of effect causes it to explode, doing 10d6 fire damage in a 30'x30'x30' area.  The Zippleback's second head can create a spark to set it off as an Immediate Action the round after the cloud has been created unless that head has been doused with water.  It is immune to it's own breath, but does not appear to have complete immunity to other forms of fire.

Mist Vision (Ex): The Hideous Zippleback can see through clouds, fog, and mist normally.

Skills: Zipplebacks get a +2 Racial Bonus on Listen and Spot Checks due to their multiple heads.

Combat:  Zipplebacks prefer to land and then release a cloud of gas to conceal themselves.  After which they may demoralize an opponent or two before exploding the cloud.

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #643 on: February 05, 2011, 10:36:02 AM »
Acrosapien
                      Medium Aberration
Hit Dice:             15d8+105 (172 hp)
Initiative:           +10
Speed:                50 ft. (10 squares), Climb 50 ft.
Armor Class:          35 (+10 Dex, +15 Natural), touch 20, flat-footed 25
Base Attack/Grapple:  +11/+23
Attack:               Bite +23 melee (1d6+12 plus poison) or by weapon +23 melee
Attack (w/Feats): by weapon +19/+19/+19/+19/+19/+19/+18/+18/+18/+18/+18/+18 melee
Full Attack:          1 Bite +23 melee (1d6+12 plus poison) and 6 claws +23 melee (1d6+6) or by weapon +23/+18/+13 melee
Full Attack (w/Feats): by weapon +19/+19/+19/+19/+19/+19/+18/+18/+18/+18/+18/+18/+14/+9 melee
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Poison, Web, Assimilate Weapon
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Mimicry, Leap, Spider Climb, Scent, Assimilate Enemies, Web Tripline, Uncanny Dodge, Improved Uncanny Dodge, Evasion, Improved Evasion, Spell Resistance 25
Saves:                Fort +13, Ref +15, Will +16
Abilities:            Str 34, Dex 30, Con 24, Int 14, Wis 24, Cha 14
Skills:               Balance +17, Bluff +8, Climb +18, Hide +21, Jump +28, Listen +13, Move Silently +17 (+25 in web), Search +9, Spot +23, Survival +13, Tumble +17
Feats:                Combat Reflexes, Improved Multiattack, Improved Multiweapon Fighting, Improved Web, Multiattack, Multiweapon Fighting *
Environment:         Warm Forest or Underground
Organization:         Solitary or Colony (5-10)
Challenge Rating:     15
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Neutral Evil (with a Lawful Evil minority)
Advancement:          16-22 HD (Medium), 23-30 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

* See Savage Species for Feats.

"The jungles are forbidden for good reason.  We will not escort you there, and if you mention going again you will not leave this village."

Acrosapiens appear to be semi-humanoid spiders, with 2 legs, 6 arms, and a great spiders head with 8 eyes.  Common colorations are black with red patterns, but this differs from region to region.  Current origin is unknown, but their predilection for becoming assassins points towards the usual 'insane mage creating minions' theory.  This is backed up by their being fairly rare and quite powerful for their size.  Acrosapiens speak Common, Infernal, and their own language.  Their speaking Infernal puts them at odds with the idea that they were made by Lolth, and the Drow refuse to speak about them.  Acrosapiens are proficient in all Simple and Martial Weapons as well as any weapon they have assimilated.

Poison (Ex): The Acrosapien's bite is poisonous.  Injury, DC 24 Fortitude Save, Initial and Secondary damage is 2d8 Str.

Web (Ex): This is identical to the Huge Giant Spider ability on page 288 of the Monster Manual with a few exceptions. The Acrosapien can use it at will (Escape Artist DC 24, Strength Check DC 28).

Assimilate Weapon (Su): The Acrosapien can attune itself to a single weapon as a Full Round Action. This ritual makes the weapon absorb into the Acrosapien's body.  The Acrosapien can from then onward make the weapon melt out of him at will as a free action (The new weapon is the same as the original weapon). The Arcosapien can then re-absorb it into themselves at will as a free action. An Acrosapien can only have one weapon merged at a time.  Weapons that have been assimilated are now poisoned, and do poison damage similar to the Acrosapien's bite.

Mimicry (Ex): An Acrosapien can mimic any voice sound it has ever heard.  Listeners must make a DC 19 Willpower Save to detect the ruse (Save DC is Charisma Based).

Leap (Ex): You take no penalties for making a Jump Check without a running start, and your jump height is not limited by your Size Class.

Spider Climb (Ex): Acrosapiens can climb as though they permanently have a Spider Climb spell in effect on their person, but they can move at their Base Land Speed.

Devour Enemies (Ex):   By devouring the corpse of another formerly living being the Acrosapien learns to take it's form.  It must devour more than half of the corpse (not necessarily all at once), and then it can Shapeshift  (as per the spell) at will into that creature for the next 24 hours (it can 'remember' a maximum of 2 additional forms at a time.  It's size is limited to Small, Medium, or Large, and it can only mimic living beings whose corpse it can feed on (so no Constructs, Elementals, Outsiders, or Undead). 

Web Tripline (Ex): An Acrosapien can detect any creature in contact with it's webs, and any up to 60' away due to triplines.

Uncanny Dodge (Ex): See PHB page 50.

Improved Uncanny Dodge (Ex): See PHB page 50.

Evasion (Ex): See PHB page 50.

Improved Evasion (Ex): See PHB page 50.

Skills: Acrosapiens get a +10 Racial Bonus on Jump and Spot Checks.  They also gain a +8 Circumstance Bonus to Move Silently Checks made while in their webs, and a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide Checks.

Combat: Acrosapiens tend to sneak up on opponents and web them before flurrying them with weapons, one of which is usually poisoned.

Radmelon

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #644 on: February 06, 2011, 01:41:22 AM »
What's the inspiration for this?

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #645 on: February 06, 2011, 01:07:06 PM »
GitP request

Coplantor

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #646 on: February 09, 2011, 04:08:38 AM »
Sweet mother of kittens Bhu. That's a freaking lot of homebrews.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #647 on: February 09, 2011, 04:41:43 AM »
Coplantor!  Nice to see you at BG!  You must look up Monotremancer he shares your love of platypi.

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Monotremeancer

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #649 on: February 11, 2011, 07:58:13 AM »
Coplantor!  Nice to see you at BG!  You must look up Monotremancer he shares your love of platypi.
I do not know if anyone saw it, but I complimented his stylish avatar in the Introduction Thread. The reign of the platypus will come soon, and only those of righteous belief will get any dessert
Who cares for realism when you can be awesome?

Agita

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #650 on: February 11, 2011, 01:05:45 PM »
I'll gladly give up my dessert if it means calling the duck-billed monstrosities on their nefarious schemes! :shakefist
It's all about vision and making reality conform to your vision. By dropping a fucking house on it.

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #651 on: February 13, 2011, 01:45:44 AM »
I'll gladly give up my dessert if it means calling the duck-billed monstrosities on their nefarious schemes! :shakefist
Then you shall not have your dessert, nor your goulash. You "Not at all Awesome and Native To Earth Heterosexual Skeleton", you will regret this  :evillaugh
Who cares for realism when you can be awesome?

Agita

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #652 on: February 13, 2011, 02:21:07 AM »
Heh. I do hope you can make up what you lack in imagination for calling names in insidiousness. On the other hand, it is only proper for you to make empty threats and laugh like some comic book buffoon. Read up, monotreme, you will need it when I come for you. :smirk
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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #653 on: February 13, 2011, 10:33:46 AM »
And follow the exact guidelines you provide us with? The ones you may then use to spot every weakness in our defenses? No, our power resides in chaos, the very thing that defines our physical shapes. Defeating us will be like trying to find your way through the mind of Salvador Dali. You will be consumed by madness before you even begin to enter our realm. But we are not without mercy, turn from your foul ways and we shall return your dessert, maybe even your goulash.

But heed our warning
[spoiler][/spoiler]

For now, the
[spoiler][/spoiler]
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jojolagger

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #654 on: February 13, 2011, 11:21:13 AM »
No, our power resides in chaos, the very thing that defines our physical shapes. Defeating us will be like trying to find your way through the mind of Salvador Dali. You will be consumed by madness before you even begin to enter our realm.

Challenge Accepted

[spoiler][/spoiler]
Countdown to Zombie Apocalypse 97
When you see this, copy it into your sig and -1
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Quotes [spoiler]
In other words, he thinks there's a "correct" way to play D&D.  *sigh*
There is: Kill shit and loot the corpse!
When you use a tool the way it was designed for -- its intended function -- then it will work very well for you.

But it's not the tool's fault if you use it for something else and you fail utterly, such as trying to eat cereal with a butterknife, pounding nails with a screwdriver, blogging to voice your political opinions, and brushing your teeth with a hammer.
[/spoiler]

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #655 on: February 14, 2011, 03:53:55 AM »
Clearly, you have no idea what you are talking about or who you are talking to. You speak to me of chaos, of madness? Please, do persist in your feeble ways. I will appreciate the entertainment.

For now, excuse me. I need to enjoy my goulash, and afterwards my dessert.
« Last Edit: February 14, 2011, 03:55:39 AM by Agita »
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bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #656 on: February 16, 2011, 06:17:40 AM »
                      Monstrous Nightmare
                      Huge Dragon
Hit Dice:             14d12+56 (147 hp)
Initiative:           +8
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Fly 80' (Good)
Armor Class:          20 (-2 Size, +4 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple:  +14/+30
Attack:               Bite +20 melee (1d10+8)
Full Attack:          1 Bite +20 melee (1d10+8) and 2 Claws +15 melee (1d6+4)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Kerosene Gel Fire, Fire Shroud, Improved Grab, Swallow Whole
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Dragon traits, Immune to Fire
Saves:                Fort +13, Ref +13, Will +10
Abilities:            Str 26, Dex 18, Con 18, Int 7, Wis 12, Cha 14
Skills:               Climb +25, Intimidate +19, Listen +18, Spot +18
Feats:                Ability Focus (Kerosene Gel Fire), Daunting Presence, Flyby Attack, Hover, Improved Initiative
Environment:          Warm or Temperate Mountains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     8
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Usually Neutral
Advancement:         15-21 HD (Huge), 22-28 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Oh, I'm hurt! I am very much hurt!"

Nightmares are among the largest of the dragons, able to spit what basically amounts to Napalm.  They are immune to fire, and perversely somewhat flammable so often use their fire to set themselves alight.  Because quite honestly it's harder fro prey to fight back when you happen to be on fire.

Kerosene Gel Fire (Ex): Four times per say as a Full Action the Monstrous Nightmare can unleash a blast of burning gel that sticks to whatever it hits and continues burning.  The initial blast does 10d6 fire damage with a successful Ranged Touch Attack.  The target and everything within a 10' Area surrounding him burns for an additional 2d6 damage for 2d3 rounds.  This fire may not be extinguished by non magical means.

Fire Shroud (Ex): As a Swift Action the Monstrous Nightmare can expend one daily use of its Kerosene Gel Fire to light itself aflame for 3 rounds plus one round per point of Constitution Modifier (in the case of this example 7 rounds).  It's Natural Attacks and Grapples do +2d6 fire damage, and opponents attacking it in melee take 2d6 fire damage.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Monstrous Nightmare succeeds with it's Bite Attack it can immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If it succeeds it may do bite damage or Swallow Whole.

Swallow Whole (Ex): A Monstrous Nightmare can Swallow an opponent up to 2 Size Classes smaller than itself with a successful Grapple Check.  Swallowed opponents take 2d8+8 points of bludgeoning damage and 2d6 fire damage per round inside the stomach.  A swallowed creature can cut it';s way out by doing 25 points of damage to the stomach (AC 14) with a light slashing or piercing weapon.  Once it exits muscular action closes the hole and other victims must cut their own way out.

Combat: Monstrous Nightmares tend to set themselves afire before entering melee, perhaps using a blast or two of their breath weapon on the way in.

jojolagger

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #657 on: February 17, 2011, 07:29:46 AM »
<Insert High Octane Nightmare Fuel comment here.>
Countdown to Zombie Apocalypse 97
When you see this, copy it into your sig and -1
:lovefirefox
Quotes [spoiler]
In other words, he thinks there's a "correct" way to play D&D.  *sigh*
There is: Kill shit and loot the corpse!
When you use a tool the way it was designed for -- its intended function -- then it will work very well for you.

But it's not the tool's fault if you use it for something else and you fail utterly, such as trying to eat cereal with a butterknife, pounding nails with a screwdriver, blogging to voice your political opinions, and brushing your teeth with a hammer.
[/spoiler]

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« Last Edit: February 18, 2011, 04:14:36 PM by veekie »
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

There is no higher price than 'free'.

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bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #659 on: March 03, 2011, 09:55:17 AM »
So how many hornet critters you want Veekie?

Night Fury
                      Large Dragon
Hit Dice:             12d12+48 (126 hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Fly 100' (Good)
Armor Class:          23 (+5 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:  +12/+24
Attack:               Bite +15 melee (1d8+3)
Full Attack:          1 Bite +15 melee (1d8+4) and 2 Claws +10 melee (1d6+2)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Fireblast, Improved Grab
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Dragon traits,
Saves:                Fort +13, Ref +14, Will +9
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 20, Con 18, Int 8, Wis 13, Cha 14
Skills:               Climb +19, Hide +4 (+14 in the dark), Intimidate +17, Listen +16, Spot +16, Survival +16
Feats:                Ability Focus (Fireblast), Adroit Flyby Attack, Flyby Attack, Power Dive, Wingover
Environment:          Temperate Mountains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     8
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Usually Neutral (with Good tendencies)
Advancement:          13-18 HD (Large), 19-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"The ultimate prize is the dragon that no one has ever seen. We call it the Night Fury...No one has ever killed a Night Fury, that's why I'm going to be the first. "

Night Furies are among the most aggressive of dragons, even taking on the larger Monstrous Nightmares sometimes.  Perversely if not threatened, they are curious and non-aggressive and display startling intelligence (it's even assumed they understand human languages).  Observers often comment they seem like large cats.   Furies are also known for their incredibly powerful breath weapon and being among the most skilled fliers of the dragons.

Fireblast (Ex): Six times per day as a Standard Action the Night Fury can spit a ball of blue fire that explodes violently on contact with anything it touches.  This is a Ranged Touch Attack that does 12d6 Fire damage to the target and everything else in a 20' Radius.  DC 22 Reflex Save for half damage (Save DC is Constitution based). 

Improved Grab (Ex): Night Furies are natural wrestlers, and can make a Grapple Check without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  They also get a +4 Racial Bonus on Grapple Checks.

Skills: Night Furies get a +10 Racial Bonus to Hide Checks at night or in dark areas.

Combat: Night Furies rely on their maneuverability and flying speed to fight foes, usually power diving and unleashing their powerful breath weapon before flying off again to return.  Since they're nocturnal, their coloration means it isn't often even seen, let alone successfully defended against.