Author Topic: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature  (Read 149247 times)

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bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #620 on: October 12, 2010, 06:47:53 AM »
One Eyed One Horned Flying Purple People Eater
                      Large Aberration
Hit Dice:             5d8+15 (37 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Fly 80 ft. (Good)
Armor Class:          17 (-1 Size, +8 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+12
Attack:               Claw +7 melee (1d6+5)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +7 melee (1d6+5) and 1 Bite +2 melee (2d4+2)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Bard Abilities
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60'
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +1, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 20, Dex 10, Con 16, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 16
Skills:               Balance +8, Climb +10, Intimidate +10, Knowledge (Geography) +5, Perform (Horn) +11
Feats:                Fly-by Attack, Hover
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Neutral Evil
Advancement:          By Character Class (usually Bard)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert...what the Hell are we doing here?  What the hell is that thing?  Why does no one else seem to be worried?"

OEOHFPPE's are strange alien beings that have an affinity for music, and seem to be anthropophagus in regards to a race or purple skinned humanoids.  Rarely seen they are described as having a growth on their head similar to a horn like instrument, large fangs and claws, and wings.  They appear to understand and speak Common.

Bard Abilities: OEOHFPPE's may use Bardic Music as if they had levels in Bard equal to their Hit Dice.  If they later take levels in Bard these stack with their Hit Dice for purposes of determining their abilities.

Combat: OEOHFPPE's tend to use their Bard abilities if they are strong enough.  Otherwise they just fly in and use tooth and claw.  They tend to be less spectacular tacticians and more crazed flailing types.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #621 on: October 12, 2010, 07:10:20 AM »
Epic Zombie is almost done cept CR.  You likee?

jojolagger

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #622 on: October 12, 2010, 08:34:16 AM »
Epic Zombie is almost done cept CR.  You likee?

Quote
Regeneration (Ex): Epic Zombies gain Regeneration 5.  Fire does normal damage to a Troll.
copypasta error
Countdown to Zombie Apocalypse 97
When you see this, copy it into your sig and -1
:lovefirefox
Quotes [spoiler]
In other words, he thinks there's a "correct" way to play D&D.  *sigh*
There is: Kill shit and loot the corpse!
When you use a tool the way it was designed for -- its intended function -- then it will work very well for you.

But it's not the tool's fault if you use it for something else and you fail utterly, such as trying to eat cereal with a butterknife, pounding nails with a screwdriver, blogging to voice your political opinions, and brushing your teeth with a hammer.
[/spoiler]

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #623 on: October 12, 2010, 07:52:05 PM »
aside from the copy pasta of course  ;)

jojolagger

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #624 on: October 13, 2010, 01:16:09 AM »
aside from the copy pasta of course  ;)
Spell Resistance (Ex): The Epic Zombie gains Spell Resistance equal to 10 plus half its hit Dice plus 4.
shouldn't that be 14+1/2 HD?
 :p
seems good, makes zombies usable at epic levels.
Countdown to Zombie Apocalypse 97
When you see this, copy it into your sig and -1
:lovefirefox
Quotes [spoiler]
In other words, he thinks there's a "correct" way to play D&D.  *sigh*
There is: Kill shit and loot the corpse!
When you use a tool the way it was designed for -- its intended function -- then it will work very well for you.

But it's not the tool's fault if you use it for something else and you fail utterly, such as trying to eat cereal with a butterknife, pounding nails with a screwdriver, blogging to voice your political opinions, and brushing your teeth with a hammer.
[/spoiler]

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #625 on: October 19, 2010, 08:12:05 AM »
Epic Skeleton

Epic Skeleton is an Acquired Template that can be added to any living corporeal creature.

Size and Type: Size is unchanged, Type changes to Undead.  Subtypes except Alignment or species (such as Goblinoid or Reptilian) are retained. 

Hit Dice: All current and Future Hit Dice become d12's.

Speed: Unchanged.  Winged skeletons flight is now a Supernatural ability.

Armor Class: The Epic Skeleton gets a Natural Armor Bonus equal to it's Hit Dice.

Attacks: The Epic Skeleton BAB is now equal to it's Hit Dice, if it wasn't already.

Damage: If the base creature has no Natural Weapons but does have fingers it gains a Claw Attack:
Diminutive or Fine: 1 point
Tiny: 1d2
Small: 1d3
Medium: 1d4
Large: 1d6
Huge: 1d8
Gargantuan: 2d6
Colossal: 2d8

Special Attacks: The Epic Skeleton keeps all Special Attack and Class Abilities except Spells and Spell-Like Abilities.  Any Class Ability formerly based on Int or Charisma now gets a +4 Racial Modifier instead.  For example if an ability had a Save DC of 10 + 1/2 HD + Cha Mod, it is now 10 + 1/2 HD +4.  If the ability normally gets you a Bonus of some sort equal to your Int or Cha Mod you now have a +4.  It also gains the following:

Terrifying Appearance (Su): Any living being within 60' of the Epic Skeleton must make a Fortitude Save or take 1d4 points of Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution damage. If the save is made successfully, the opponent is immune to this particular Epic Skeletons Terrifying Appearance for 24 hours.

To Me Mah Mindless Companions!(Ex): All Mindless Undead willingly defend the Epic Skeleton if they are within 120', and will willingly sacrifice themselves to save it by interposing themselves between it and any enemies.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Epic Skeleton hits with it's Primary Natural Attack (usually it's Slam) it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.

Choke (Ex):  The skeleton may Choke opponents with a successful Grapple Check.  This does double it's Claw damage plus double it's Strength Modifier, and if the opponent requires air, it begins to suffocate (See DMG for suffocation rules).

Former Caster (Ex): If the Base Creature had the ability to cast spells, and lost it because of this Template, it gains a Deflection Bonus to Armor Class equal to half it's Hit Dice, and an Enhancement Bonus to all Attack and Damage rolls equal to half it's Hit Dice.  It also increases it's Spell Resistance by +5.

Special Qualities: The Epic Skeleton keeps all Special Attack and Class Abilities.  Any Class Ability formerly based on Int or Charisma now gets a +4 Racial Modifier instead.  It also gains the following:

Turn Immunity (Ex):You are Immune to Turn/Rebuke Undead attempts.

Unnatural Aura (Su): Animals will not come within 100' of an Epic Skeleton, and Panic if forced to do so (they remain Panicked so long as the Epic Zombie is within Range).

Lifesense (Ex): Epic Skeletons may automatically sense Living creatures within 100' as thought they had Blindsight. They also automatically know the strength of their life force as if they had cast Deathwatch.

Spell Resistance (Ex): The Epic Skeleton gains Spell Resistance equal to 14 plus half its hit Dice.

Damage Reduction (Ex): Gains Damage Reduction 15/Bludgeoning and Epic.

Regeneration (Ex): Epic Skeletons gain Regeneration 5.  Fire does normal damage to an Epic Zombie.

Unnatural Vitality (Ex): The Epic Skeleton gains Maximum hit points per hit die.

Negative Energy Aura (Ex): All Undead within 60' of an Epic Skeleton gain Turn Immunity.

Immunity to Cold (Ex)

Uncanny Dodge (Ex): Identical to Rogue Class Ability on page 50 of the PHB.

Improved Uncanny Dodge (Ex): Identical to Rogue Class Ability on page 50 of the PHB.

Evasion (Ex): Identical to Rogue Class Ability on page 50 of the PHB.

Improved Evasion (Ex): Identical to Rogue Class Ability on page 50 of the PHB.

Saves: Unchanged.

Abilities: It has no Int or Con score.  Dexterity increases by an amount equal to Hit Dice (i.e. if it has 22 Hit Dice it gets +22 Dex).  Charisma drops to 1.

Skills: Unlike other  Mindless creatures Epic Skeletons retain some skill.  They keep all ranks in the following skills (but cannot add more ranks with further Hit Dice or Levels): Climb, Hide, Jump, Listen, Move Silently, Spot, and Swim.

Feats: Epic Skeletons retain all Feats, but do not get more Feats with further Hit Dice or Levels.  It also gains Improved Initiative if it doesn't have it already (and Superior Initiative if it does).

Environment: Any Land or Underground

Organization: Unchanged, usually Solitary

Challenge Rating: +4 (+5 if former Spellcaster)

Treasure: None, but if the Base Creature was wearing or carrying any magical items it still has them (though most likely it can't use them)

Alignment: Always Neutral or Chaotic Evil

Advancement: An Epic Skeleton can keep gaining Hit Dice up to double the Base Creatures.  If the Base Creature advances by Class Level the Skeleton may possibly advance by Character Levels (see above).

Level Adjustment: +9 (+10 if former Spellcaster)

"Awfully quick for a dead guy."

Epic Skeletons are rarer than Zombies due to being a bit more fragile, but they're mighty tough suckers to hit.

Example of creature using template here:

                      Dead Tom (21st Level Swashbuckler)
                      Medium Undead
Hit Dice:             21d12 (136 hp)
Initiative:           +17
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          48 (+13 Dex, +4 Dodge, +21 Natural), touch 27, flat-footed 32
Base Attack/Grapple:  +20/+21
Attack:              Claw +33 melee (1d4+5) or by Weapon +33/+28/+23/+18
Full Attack:          2 Claws +33 melee (1d4+5) or by Weapon +33/+28/+23/+18
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Terrifying Appearance (DC 24), To Me Mah Mindless Companions!, Improved Grab, Choke (2d4+7), Insightful Strike +4, Acrobatic Charge, Improved Flanking, Wounding Critical
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', undead traits, Turn Immunity, Unnatural Aura, Lifesense, SR 24, Dr 15/Bludgeoning and Epic, Regeneration 5, Cold Immunity, Unnatural Vitality, Negative Energy Aura, Uncanny Dodge, Improved Uncanny Dodge, Evasion, Improved Evasion, Dodge Bonus +4, Lucky, Acrobatic Skill Mastery, Slippery Mind
Saves:                Fort +12, Ref +19, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 13, Dex 37, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 1
Skills:                Climb +13, Jump +13, Swim +13
Feats:                Adaptable Flanker, Combat Reflexes, Deft Opportunist, Dodge, Mobility, Vexing Flanker, Improved Initiative, Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     25
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Chaotic Evil
Advancement:          By Class Levels
Level Adjustment:     +9
« Last Edit: October 23, 2010, 03:47:19 AM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #626 on: October 20, 2010, 06:37:29 AM »
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chickcharney

http://www.bahamas4u.com/bahamasfolktales.html



Chickcharney
                      Small Animal
Hit Dice:             1d8+1 (5 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 5 ft.
Armor Class:          15 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +0/-6
Attack:               Bite +2 melee (1d4-2)
Full Attack:          Bite +2 melee (1d4-2)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Ball of Talons
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 6, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
Skills:               Hide +6, Listen +12, Move Silently +6, Spot +4 (+12 at night)
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Warm Forests
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     1/3
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          2 Hit Dice (Small)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Let me get this straight...you people are afraid of owls?"

"In their defense Abner, everyone should be afraid of owls."

The Chickcharney are a large species of flightless burrowing owl that the local natives have a great deal of superstitions about.  Granted owls are considered a little spooky by everyone.

Ball of Talons (Ex): Barn Owls are known for rolling onto their back to present opponents with their talons as a means of defending themselves.  The Chickcharney can decide to use this ability while making a Full Attack as a Swift Action.  As long as it is using it's Ball of Talons ability it gets two Talon attacks at +2 to hit doing 1d4-2 damage.  If it decides to use this maneuver before an opponent is within melee range to attack, it gets an Attack of Opportunity when an opponent moves into melee range even if it would not normally do so (this does not give it additional Attacks of Opportunity per round).

Skills: Chickcharney have a +8 Racial Bonus on Listen Checks, and a +8 Bonus on Spot checks at night or in shadowy illumination.  They also gain a +4 Racial Bonus on Move Silently Checks.

Combat: The Chickcharney usually stalks and ambushes small prey.  If a larger opponent attacks it rolls up and uses it's ball of talons ability.
« Last Edit: November 07, 2010, 07:31:26 AM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #627 on: October 26, 2010, 05:33:46 AM »
 Hummingator Swarm
                      Fine Aberration
Hit Dice:             10d8 (45 hp)
Initiative:           +9
Speed:                5 ft. (1 squares), Fly 25 ft. (Perfect)
Armor Class:          24 (+8 Size, +5 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 23, flat-footed 19
Base Attack/Grapple:  +7/-
Attack:               Swarm (2d6)
Full Attack:          Swarm (2d6)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Distraction, Grip
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Immune to Weapon Damage, swarm traits
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +8, Will +9
Abilities:            Str 1, Dex 20, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 14, Cha 1
Skills:               Hide +16, Listen +7, Spot +7
Feats:                Flyby Attack, Hover, Improved Initiative
Environment:          Warm Marsh
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:   6   
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

'Whats that noi...AAAAAAHHHH!"

Dorf the Wildly Incompetent needed some guardians, but he had such a bad rep no one wanted to work for him.  So he made some by using the spells originally used to create Owlbears to make the first Hummingators.  He judged them a failure due to their size.  They ate him in his sleep.  Subsequently they've infested the marshes.

Distraction (Ex): Any living creature vulnerable to a swarms damage that begins it's turn with a swarm in it's square is Nauseated for 1 round unless it makes a DC 15 Fortitude Save.  Spellcasting or concentrating on spells within the area of a swarm requires a Concentration Check (DC is 20 for skills, 20 + Spell Level for spellcasting).
 
Grip (Ex): Leaving the area of a Hummingator swarm requires a DC 20 Strength Check.

Combat: Hummingator swarms tend to fly in, grab hold, and munch away crazily.  They aren't tactical.



Hummingator
                       Medium Aberration
Hit Dice:             3d8+6 (19 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Good)
Armor Class:          16 (+2 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/+6
Attack:               Bite +6 melee (1d6+6)
Full Attack:          Bite +6 melee (1d6+6)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60'
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +3, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 14, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
Skills:               Hide +4, Listen +4, Spot +4
Feats:                Fly-by Attack, Hover
Environment:          Warm Marsh
Organization:         Solitary or Flock (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          4-6 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Swamp assignments always suck.  Always.  Oh look, it's a flying reptile.  How unlikely."

Simon the Moderately incompetent inherited his Uncle Dorf's notes, and realized his relative had forgotten to carry the 2 in his math.  He made more respectable sized Hummingators, which promptly devoured him in his sleep.  The current holders of the notes used them to start a cooking fire, so perhaps the world need not worry about false Dragons being made.

Improved Grab (Ex): If a Hummingator successfully attacks with it's Bite, it can immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it does it's Bite damage with a successful Grapple Check. 

Combat: Hummingators tend to nest in trees hiding till likely prey comes by, at which point they make a few fly-by's to soften it up before grabbing and mauling it.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #628 on: November 07, 2010, 07:32:09 AM »
It's gonna take a bit to fix up the Epic Templates, so I edited the Chickcharney into the post above.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #629 on: November 10, 2010, 07:03:06 AM »
http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs9/i/2006/069/0/c/zebrocerous_by_imamon.jpg

Zebrocerous
                      Huge Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             13d10+104 (175 hp)
Initiative:           +4
Speed:                60 ft. (12 squares)
Armor Class:          23 (-2 Size, +15 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 23
Base Attack/Grapple:  +13/+33
Attack:               Gore +23 melee (2d8+18)
Full Attack:          Gore +23 melee (2d8+18)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      RAAAAAHHH!
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision, Unusually Good at Hiding
Saves:                Fort +16, Ref +8, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 34, Dex 10, Con 26, Int 4, Wis 14, Cha 14
Skills:               Hide +5, Listen +12, Spot +12
Feats:                Alertness, Endurance, Improved Initiative, Run, Skill Focus: Hide
Environment:         Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     12
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Chaotic Neutral
Advancement:         
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Bert?"

"Yeah Abner?"

"I quit.  Screw this."

"Just exhale slowly Abner."

Unlike many magical follow ups to abominations like the Owlbear, the Zebrocerous actually worked.  It's tough, it's quick, and it's mean.  It was also manageable enough to keep as a guard beast.  They're quite popular with warm weather dwelling Warlords, madmen, and freaks of all kinds.

RAAAAAHHH! (Su): When making a Charge Attack the Zebrocerous does 4d8+24.  All attacks made against it that round have a 50% miss chance due to it's outline breaking up.

Unusually Good at Hiding (Su): Even at rest Zebrocerous are hard to hit from range.  They have a +2 Deflection Bonus to AC against ranged attacks, and get a +2 Racial Bonus on Saving Throws if the ranged attack is magical.  They also get a +10 Racial Bonus to Hide Checks.  Which is creepy because they aren't very quiet...

Combat: Zebrocerous tend to do the usual Rhino thing: charge, repeatedly gore, if maybe opponent falls down step on him a lot. 

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #630 on: December 10, 2010, 06:03:32 AM »

http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs13/f/2007/042/5/5/crocerocerous_by_imamon.jpg

Crocerocerous
                      Huge Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             13d8+117 (188 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          23 (-2 Size, +15 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 23
Base Attack/Grapple:  +13/+33
Attack:               Bite +23 melee (2d8+18)
Full Attack:          Bite +23 melee (2d8+18)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Shred
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60'
Saves:                Fort +16, Ref +8, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 34, Dex 10, Con 26, Int 3, Wis 12, Cha 12
Skills:               Listen +11, Spot +11
Feats:                Alertness, Endurance, Improved Toughness
Environment:          Warm Plains or Marsh
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     12
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          14-26 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Bert...didn't we just do this?"

After his success with the Zebrocerous, a certain nameless mage wanted something a little more traveling.  Something not limited to the Plains.  Mostly because he was fleeing the local grasslands for a swamp because it was a hell of a lot more defensible.  You can only be surprised by adventurers so many times before you think "Maybe my current location isn't ideal". 

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Crocerocerous successfully hits with it's Bite attack, it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If it is successful, it may do bite damage.  If it Pins the opponent it can use it's Shred ability.

Shred (Ex): Each round that it successfully maintains a pin, the Croconocerous deals 4d8+36 damage to its victim

Combat: The Crocerocerous usually charges, goes for the bite, and begins ripping it's opponent a new one.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #631 on: December 10, 2010, 06:04:10 AM »
http://imamon.deviantart.com/art/llamabird-45974096?q=gallery%3Aimamon%2F21380653&qo=62

Llamabird
                      Large Magical Beast
Hit Dice:             6d8+12 (39 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class:          17 (-1 Size, +3 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+14
Attack:               Bite +9 melee (1d8+4/19-20)
Full Attack:          1 Bite +9 melee (1d8+4/19-20) and 2 Hooves +4 melee (1d4+2)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      PTOOEY!
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +8, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 16, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 10
Skills:              Listen +6, Spot +7
Feats:                Cold Endurance, Endurance, Improved Critical (Beak)(B), Run (B)
Environment:          Cold or Temperate Mountains
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Herd (10-100)
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          7-12 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert...I do not like how that thing is looking at us..."

In one of the most bizarre incidents of magical hybridization on record, the great wizard Sandaman decided that he needed some magical guardians, but all he had to work with were the massive llama herds surrounding his mountains, and the occasional flock of birds.  So he said to hell with it and went for broke.  And thus  the Llamabirds were born.  He had still had huge herds for food and fur to make money while he was involved with higher pursuits, and no one but the most magical of opponents was willing to wade through the Llamabirds.

PTOOEY! (ex): A Llamabird has can blind an opponent with it's spittle for 1d4 rounds if they fail a DC 15 Reflex Save (Save DC is Constitution Based).  This has a range of 30', is a Standard Action, and can be done a number of times per day equal to their Constitution Modifier.

Combat: Llamabirds will tend to watch potential enemies closely while making no move against them, and then hock a loogie into their eyes to blind them before charging.  Birds are mean, deceptive critters.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #632 on: December 10, 2010, 06:15:24 AM »

Goby Minion
                      Huge Animal (Aquatic)
Hit Dice:             8d8+16 (52 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                Swim 50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class:          16 (-2 Size, +3 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+15
Attack:               Bite +9 melee (1d8+5)
Full Attack:          Bite +9 melee (1d8+5)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Blindsense 60', Enhanced Sight
Saves:                Fort +8, Ref +9, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 20, Dex 16, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
Skills:               Hide +2, Listen +9, Spot +10
Feats:                Alertness, Endurance, Skill Focus: Hide
Environment:          Any Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary (usually shares cave burrow with Giant Pistol Shrimp)
Challenge Rating:     3
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          9-16 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bert is that giant shrimp petting that giant fish?"

"I'll be damn glad when we retire Abner.  Things just ain't the same anymore as when we started."

Goby Minions are an odd species of fish living in a symbiotic relationship with Giant Pistol Shrimp.   The Shrimp builds and excavates a burrow, and  the Goby (which has much better vision) maintains guard and warns it of danger so they can both hide.  Although good lord knows what the combo has to hide from.  Krakens maybe.  Goby Minions are oddly somewhat trainable, and many would be evil madmen keep them as warning systems.

Enhanced Sight (Ex): Goby Minions can see normally in clear water, and 2d8x10' in murky water.

Combat: Gobies hate fighting and prefer to hide in their shared burrows.  If necessary they will bite and usually flee unless their benefactor shrimp is threatened.

The_Mad_Linguist

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #633 on: December 10, 2010, 08:15:22 AM »
Still think pistol shrimp should have an int of 2 or 3.  They're freakishly intelligent.
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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #634 on: December 22, 2010, 07:54:39 AM »
Deadly Nadder
                      Large Dragon
Hit Dice:     10d12+30 (95 hp)       
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Fly 80' (Good)
Armor Class:          18 (-1 Size, +3 Dex, +6 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple:  +10/+18
Attack:               Bite +13 melee (1d8+4)
Full Attack:          Bite +13 melee (1d8+4) and 2 Claws +8 melee (1d6+2)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Magnesium Flare, Poison Spikes
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Scent, Fire Resistance 5
Saves:                Fort +10, Ref +11, Will +7
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 18, Con 16, Int 3, Wis 11, Cha 14
Skills:               Listen +13, Spot +13
Feats:                Ability Focus (Magnesium Flare), Flyby Attack, Hover, Point Blank Shot
Environment:          Warm or Temperate Mountains
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (3-10)
Challenge Rating:     6
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          11-20 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"I'm really beginning to question your teaching methods."

The Deadly Nadder is one of the most beautiful of the dragons with bright blue scales and a light beige underbelly, and yellow, orange, and blue mottling on the wings and bright yellow spines.  It's diet consists largely of poultry, as livestock makes it ill. 

Magnesium Flare (Ex): As a Full Round Action up to 6 times per day the Nadder may unleash a blast of Magnesium laced fire, considered to be the hottest among all the dragons.  The fire is a ranged touch attack with a range of 100'.  It does 5d10 fire damage, and anything hit by it that is metal is affected as if by a Heat Metal spell, and any flammable materials will burst into flame and burn for 1d6 rounds.  The fire is so hot that if it does enough damage to an opponent to kill him with one shot he is immediately reduced to ash.

Poison Spikes (Ex): As a Full Round Action the Nadder may unleash a volley of poisoned spikes from it's tail up to twice per day.  They have a range of 100', and the Nadder rolls to hit a 5' area similar to grenade like weapons.  Anything in that area takes 3d6 damage and must make a DC 18 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based) or be poisoned (Injury, Initial Damage Stunned for 1d3 rounds, Secondary Damage Paralysis for 1d3 rounds.

Combat: While agile fliers, Nadders prefer to land before attacking and fight on the ground for reasons unknown.  Since their fire is limited in use they save it for tougher targets and use it if necessary only.  Usually it prefers to bite, unleashing the spines against quick opponents, or for stunning prey.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2011, 09:21:37 AM by bhu »

Radmelon

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #635 on: December 23, 2010, 12:49:10 AM »
I'm starting to think someone saw a certain dreamworks movie...

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #636 on: December 23, 2010, 12:54:35 AM »
I had a request on GitP

InnaBinder

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #637 on: December 23, 2010, 01:29:05 AM »
That one eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater surely looks strange to me.

sorry, I had to.
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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #638 on: January 04, 2011, 09:25:29 AM »
Terrible Terrors
                      Tiny Dragon
Hit Dice:             1d12 (6 hp)
Initiative:           +4
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 20 ft., Fly 60 ft. (Good)
Armor Class:          17 (+2 Size, +4 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 16, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/-3
Attack:               Bite +5 melee (1d4-4)
Full Attack:          Bite +5 melee (1d4-4)
Space/Reach:          2 1/2' ft./0' ft.
Special Attacks:      Fire Sniper, Feisty
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', dragon traits, Fire Resistance 5
Saves:                Fort +2, Ref +6, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 3, Dex 18, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 8
Skills:               Climb +4, Hide +8, Listen +4, Move Silently +8, Spot +4
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Warm or Temperate Mountains
Organization:         Solitary, Flock 10-200
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Odin help us."

The Terrible Terror is among the smallest of dragons rarely larger than a cat.  Due to their small size and proclivity to travel in flocks they are in some ways more dangerous than bigger dragons as they can easily hide in viking homes and start fires while playing around. 

Fire Sniper (Ex): As a Full Round Action up to 6 times per day spit a cute little blast of fire up to a range of 30'.  The fire is a ranged touch attack doing 2d6 fire damage, and any flammable materials hit will burst into flame and burn for 1d3 rounds.  The Terrible Terrors are incredibly accurate with this fire, and can ignore to hit penalties for Concealment.

Feisty (Ex): Terrible Terrors do not take a Size Penalty to Grapple Checks, and they do not provoke Attacks of Opportunity when entering the square of an opponent due to their size.

Combat:  Terrible Terrors tend to play with their food in a manner similar to cats, and spit fire if cornered, angered, or bored.

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #639 on: January 08, 2011, 09:18:42 AM »
Giant Starfish, Sunstar
                      Huge Magical Beast (Aquatic)
Hit Dice:             12d10+60 (126 hp)
Initiative:           -1
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class:          17 (-2 Size, -1 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple:  +12/+28
Attack:               Arm +18 melee (1d6+8)
Full Attack:          10 Arms +18 melee (1d6+8)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Swallow Whole, Damage Ship
Special Qualities:    Blind, Mindless, Blindsense 60', Regeneration 5, Regrowth, Immunities, Scent, Spiny Defense, DR 5/Slashing or Piercing
Saves:                Fort +13, Ref +7, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 26, Dex 8, Con 20, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 2
Skills:               ---
Feats:                ---
Environment:          Any Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary or Swarm (5-10)
Challenge Rating:     10
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:         13-24 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"This...is wrong in so many ways..."

Giant Sunstars are the magically mutated cousins of their smaller, naturally evolved starfish ancestors.  As usual some Wizard thought they'd make a great underwater guardian.  They were able to increase their metabolism enough to allow them normal movement and even grow massively in size.  Unfortunately they couldn't give them a brain.  It's kind of hard to order minions who don't have a brain and can't understand what you want.  Since then they've become the garbagemen of the seas, eating just about anything organic.

Improved Grab (Ex): If a Sunstar successfully hits with it's Arm attack it may immediately make a Grapple Checkas a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If it succeeds it may do it's Arm damage or use it's Swallow Whole ability.

Swallow Whole (Ex): A Sunstar may eject it's stomach to wrap an opponent up to it's own Size Class with a successful Grapple Check.  The stomach can only hold one opponent at a time, but once the opponent is reduced to -10 hp by the stomach acid it is dissolved and it may use the stomach again.  Swallowed creatures take 1d8+8 bludgeoning damage and 2d8+8 acid damage per turn in the stomach.  Swallowed creatures may cut their way out by doing 25 points of damage against the stomach (AC 15) with a light piercing or slashing weapon.  

Damage Ship (Ex): As a Standard Action a Sunstar has a 95% chance to capsize a ship 20' long or less.  It has a 50% chance to capsize a ship 21' to 60' long, and a 20% chance if it's over 60' long.

Blind (Ex): Starfish only have simple eyes bale to detect light and darkness.  As such they are immune to any effect requiring them to be able to see an opponent.

Regeneration (Ex): Sunstar Regeneration doesn't work against Fire damage.  Lost limbs regenerate within 1 week.

Regrowth (Ex): A Sunstar that is chopped up becomes new Sunstars.  Any piece equal to about 10% of the body weight of the original begins life as a 2 HD Sunstar, and it regenerates 1 HD a month until it becomes a new full sized Sunstar.

Immunities (Ex): Sunstars are immune to critical hits and disease, and cannot be flanked.

Spiny Defense (Ex): Sunstars are covers in spines, and if Swallowed (!) they do 2d6 piercing damage per round to their opponent.  Opponents who attack them with unarmed strikes, natural weapons, or grapples takes 2d6 plus their own Strength Modifier in damage per turn.  

Combat: Sunstars tend to capsize boats first if there's no prey in the water (they assume the boat is prey).  After that they try to grapple, swallow, and move off till that prey is digested and they can swallow another.



« Last Edit: January 29, 2011, 10:36:09 AM by bhu »