Author Topic: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature  (Read 150432 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

bhu

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6783
  • Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #60 on: November 26, 2008, 12:35:46 PM »
Surely the Marble Golem should be vulnerable to shatter. It can be its special "only spell that affects me" spell.

Fixed

Callix

  • Donkey Kong
  • ****
  • Posts: 622
  • Not cool enough for a custom title.
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #61 on: November 26, 2008, 12:59:54 PM »
Fixed
Thought I should mention that they're all mind-numbingly awesome. So mind-numbing, in fact, that I was reduced to my primal urge to nitpick.

... I got better.
I know gameology-fu.

bhu

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6783
  • Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #62 on: November 27, 2008, 01:09:12 PM »
No worries.  I put them up for criticism.  Wizards and GitP tend to be a bit too nicey nice to really rip into me if if screw something up, but I'm pretty sure you guys will let me know :D

bhu

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6783
  • Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #63 on: November 28, 2008, 01:55:09 PM »
Beholder Cyclops, Hypnos
Large Aberration
Hit Dice: 16d8+64 (136 hp)
Initiative: +6
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), Fly 20 ft. (good)
Armor Class: 23 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +12 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed
22
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/+16
Attack: Bite +12 melee (1d6+1)
Full Attack: Bite +12 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Will Crushing Gaze
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Flight
Saves: Fort +11, Ref +7, Will +14
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 14, Con 18, Int 18, Wis 15, Cha 15
Skills: Hide +17, Knowledge (Local) +23, Listen +21, Search +23, Spot +21, Survival +21
Feats: Ability Focus (Will Crushing Gaze), Alertness, Dodge, Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, Iron Will
Environment: Underdark
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 13
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Advancement: 17-30 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"YOU WILL OBEY THE HYPNOBAWL!!"

"Thats it.  Thats the absolute best battle cry you can think of?"

"Hey, screw you guys!"


Eventually it was inevitable the rituals for creating the Beholder Cyclops' would resurface somewhere, and they did.  Unfortunately in the hands of a lunatic halfling Wizard with a Napoleon complex who believed he was the obvious choice for Rule of the Known World.  Slackbutt the mage knew he had to convince the rest of the world he was their chosen leader, and when he found the means to create Beholder Cyclops, the Hypnos was the result.  Concentrating on developing the power of the Charm eyes, he created the ultimate hypnotic weapon.  A weapon that had a mind of it's own.  Unlike the other Cyclops, the Hypnos was fairly intelligent, and couldn't be bullied.  Slackbutt ended up fleeing town, and the Beholder nations were required to put down the uprising caused by the new Beholderkin.  Hypnos appear to be regular Beholders, but without eyestalks.  They can speak Beholder and Common.

Will Crushing Gaze (Su): Anything entering the 150 foot cone projected by the Hypnos' central eye must make a DC 22 Willpower Save or be subjected to the Charm Monster spell (Caster Level is equal to the Hypnos' Hit Dice).  If it remains within the Cone for 3 rounds after failing the Save, it must make another Save or it is subject to Dominate Monster instead. 

Flight (Ex): A Hypnos' body is naturally buoyant granting it a permanent Feather Fall effect as per the spell of the same name with personal range.

Combat: Hypnos rely on the power of their eye and will always try to charm their opponents into remaining in the effect of their eye until they can dominate them serving them, fleeing if they cannot. 

bhu

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6783
  • Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #64 on: December 02, 2008, 12:35:48 PM »
Putty Panda
Large Construct
Hit Dice: 10d10+30 (85 hp)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 20’ (4 squares)
Armor Class: 22 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +14 natural), touch 8, flat-footed 22
Base Attack/ Grapple: +7/ +26
Attack: Slam + 13 melee (1d10+7)
Full Attack: 2 slams +13 melee (1d10+7)
Space/ Reach: 10’/10’
Special Attacks: Berserk, Adhesion, Smother, Improved Grab
Special Qualities: Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 10/ Bludgeoning and
Adamantine, Dark Vision 60’, Immunity to Magic, Low-light
Vision, Immune to Magic
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +3
Abilities: Str 25, Dex 8, Con --, Int --, Will 11, Cha 1
Skills: ---
Feats: ---
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Gang (2-4)
Challenge Rating: 10?
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 12-18 HD (large)
Level Adjustment: ---


"Y'know...even from here I just know that thing is trouble..."

One of the few Golems known whose design is obviously deranged, and that ISN'T a creation of the Gnome Kingdoms, the Putty Pandas are the guardians and sometimes foot soldiers of the Pandafolk.  It appears to be a large anthropomorphic Panda made from some sort of sticky putty.  About 600 pounds or more of sticky putty.

Berserk (Ex): When a Putty Panda enters combat there is a cumulative 1% chance per round it goes berserk and attacks the nearest living (or moving) creature near it until none are left. Once a Putty Panda goes berserk there is no known method of re establishing control.

Adhesion (Ex): Putty Pandas are incredibly sticky. Anyone striking them with a wepon must make a DC 15 Reflex Save (Save DC is Con based) or their weapon is stuck to the Putty Panda. They will have to succeed in a Grapple check to pull it free. Putty Pandas receive a +8 Racial Bonus to Grapple checks.

Improved Grab (Ex): A Putty Panda that successfully hits with a Slam attack can immediately make a Grapple check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it succeeds it can use it's Smother attack on any opponent 1 Size Class smaller than itself. Due to it's adhesive nature the Putty Panda can grapple a creature of any size class.

Smother (Ex): Any living creature that requires air and that is Pinned successfully in a Grapple by a Putty Panda begins to suffocate (see DMG page 304).

Immune to Magic (Ex): Putty Pandas are immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows Spell Resistance.

Combat: Putty Pandas usually just charge and grapple. They aren't really bright or subtle.  And of course they're made for grappling so they may as well take advantage of it.


Construction: A Putty Panda is made from 600 pounds of silly putty treated with rare alchemical compounds costing at least 1000 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (alchemy) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Web, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 50000 GP; Cost 25000 GP + 1000 XP

bhu

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6783
  • Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #65 on: December 03, 2008, 01:02:03 PM »
Booze Golem
Large Construct
Hit Dice: 10d10+30 (85 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 17 (-1 Size, +3 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:+7/+20
Attack: Slam +15 melee (1d8+9)
Full Attack: 2 Slams +15 melee (1d8+9)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Engulf, Berserk, Intoxication, Improved Grab
Special Qualities: Construct Traits, Immunity to Magic, Dark Vision 60 ft., Low Light Vision, Damage Reduction 10/-, Fluid Body
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +6, Will +3
Abilities: Str 29, Dex 16, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills:-
Feats: -
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating:10??
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 11-15 HD (large), 16 –30 HD (huge)
Level Adjustment:---

"Dude...dude we SO have to fight this monster.."

Long beloved by Gnomes, Dwarves, and Halflings who all claim to have invented it. The Booze Golem is a tall vaguely humanoid shape composed of some form of alcohol. They think of it as a way to have the Rum protect itself when the army is on the march. And if the Golem is slain it becomes gallons and gallons of booze. There is also a secret code word which when said will make the Golem dissolve back into a pile of alcohol. This code word is chosen by it's creator at the time it is made, and only works for him. 

Berserk (Ex): When a Booze Golem enters combat there is a cumulative 1% chance per round it goes berserk and attacks the nearest living (or moving) creature near it until none are left. Once a Booze Golem goes berserk there is no known method of re establishing control.

Improved Grab (Ex): A Booze Golem that successfully hits with a Slam attack can immediately make a Grapple check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it succeeds it can use it's Engulf attack on any opponent 1 Size Class smaller than itself.

Engulf (Ex): Any living creature that requires air and that is Pinned successfully in a Grapple by a Engulf begins to drown (see DMG page 304). If it escapes drowning it risks becoming intoxicated (see below).

Intoxication (Ex): Each round a living, corporeal opponent is Engulfed it must make a Fortitude Save. DC of the Saving Throw is 10 plus half hit dice plus Constitution modifier, plus a Racial Bonus based on the type of alcohol the Golem is composed of (Ale, Diluted Spirits, or Wine +1/Fortified Wine or Stout Ale +2/Most Spirits +3/Strong Spirits +4/Dangerous Spirits +5). The opponent gains a cumulative -2 to the Saving Throw roll per round engulfed. If he fails he takes 1d2 temporary Dex and Wisdom damage each time the Saving Throw is failed. If Wisdom is reduced to 0 the opponent passes out. If Dexterity is reduced to 0 the opponent is helpless, but just barely conscious. If both go to 0, the opponent must make a second Fortitude Save (same DC) to avoid alcohol poisoning. If he fails he takes 1 temporary point of Con damage every 10 minutes until death, or his stomach is purged. Neutralize or Delay Poison will stop or delay this, and creatures immune to poison are immune to Intoxication. Once the encounter is over the opponent regains 1 point of Wisdom and Dexterity each hour, providing it consmes no more alcohol. Alcohol poisoning heals 1 point of Con per day as usual.

Immunity to Magic (Ex): A Booze Golem is immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows Spell Resistance. The exceptions are spells doing Fire or Cold damage. Spells doing Cold slow the Golem down as the Slow spell for 4 rounds (no Save). Fire spells cause it to explode if it fails a Fortitude Save(the explosion is similar to a Fireball spell cast by a 10th level caster). DC of Fort Save is equal to 10 plus 1 per die of damage the fire spell does.

Fluid Body (Ex): The Booze Golem can take a Full Round action to pass through any porous barrier (i.e. a fence or net, not a solid wall). At rest it appears to be a puddle of alcohol.

Combat: Booze Golems go straight for the Grapple, and when one opponent is stone drunk (or dead) they move on to the next.

Construction: A Booze Golem is made from 72 gallons of alcohol costing at least 1000 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (alchemy) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Animate Water, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 50000 GP; Cost 25000 GP + 1000 XP

veekie

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 9034
  • WARNING: Homing Miko
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #66 on: December 03, 2008, 01:46:10 PM »
What happens to this in cold weather?
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."

InnaBinder

  • Grape ape
  • *****
  • Posts: 1610
  • OnnaTable
    • Okay - - Your Turn: Monte Cook's Message Board
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #67 on: December 03, 2008, 04:19:30 PM »
What happens to this in cold weather?
I'd think it would get a bonus to avoid freezing damage and a Slow effect (at somewhere around -10 degrees celcius, since pure alcohol has a freezing point of about -115 celcius, see here for a guide: http://cocktails.about.com/od/mixology/f/alcohol_freeze.htm) equal to its Racial composition-based bonus for Ale, Wine, Stout Ale, Most Spirits, Strong Spirits, or Dangerous Spirits.  For added fun, I could see a Booze Golem that makes its save vs freezing damage being able to absorb the cold and add cold damage to its attacks.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2008, 04:21:45 PM by InnaBinder »
Winning an argument on the internet is like winning in the Special Olympics.  You won, but you're still retarded.

I made a Handbook!?

bhu

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6783
  • Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #68 on: December 04, 2008, 11:47:12 AM »
What happens to this in cold weather?

It would probably depend on what alcohol it's made from.  The more potent the booze, the less likely it is to freeze.  My cousins in kentucky used to keep their homemade moonshine in the freezer and it stayed perfectly liquid.

Callix

  • Donkey Kong
  • ****
  • Posts: 622
  • Not cool enough for a custom title.
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #69 on: December 04, 2008, 11:52:43 AM »
I'm tempted to have someone just drink a Potion of Water Breathing, bind Naberius, shape Strongheart Vest and go swimming.

11/10. Distilled win.
I know gameology-fu.

veekie

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 9034
  • WARNING: Homing Miko
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #70 on: December 04, 2008, 11:59:43 AM »
What happens to this in cold weather?

It would probably depend on what alcohol it's made from.  The more potent the booze, the less likely it is to freeze.  My cousins in kentucky used to keep their homemade moonshine in the freezer and it stayed perfectly liquid.
Now, take the potent booze that doesn't freeze and hit it with fire :D
You now have 2 subspecies(is that the right word for a construct?) of booze golem.
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."

bhu

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6783
  • Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #71 on: December 04, 2008, 12:05:17 PM »
Beholder Cyclops, Phobos
Large Aberration
Hit Dice: 16d8+64 (136 hp)
Initiative: +6
Speed: 5 ft. (1 square), Fly 20 ft. (good)
Armor Class: 23 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +12 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed
22
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/+16
Attack: Bite +12 melee (1d6+1)
Full Attack: Bite +12 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Eye of Terror
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60 ft., Flight
Saves: Fort +11, Ref +7, Will +14
Abilities: Str 12, Dex 14, Con 18, Int 18, Wis 15, Cha 15
Skills: Intimidate +21, Knowledge (Dungeoneering) +23, Listen +21, Search +23, Spot +21, Survival +21
Feats: Ability Focus (Eye of Terror), Dodge, Flyby Attack, Hover,Improved Flyby Attack, Mobility
Environment: Underdark
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 13
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Advancement: 17-30 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"So I hear Bob's been screaming non stop and running in circles the last hour since he ran out of that underground cave."

"Yup.  Apparently anything round just freaks him out."


The Phobos were designed as terror weapons after someone poached Slackbutt's notes in the confusion caused by the melee when the Hypnos took over the local area.  A somewhat more stable (but thoroughly evil) wizard named Belfast decided to work on creating something to scare people off from his citadel.  He wanted to then work on creating other Beholderkin bio weapons, but died from heart failure before getting the chance.  Confused and with nothing to really do, the newly minted Phobos escaped and ran riot through the countryside.  The Beholder nations put many of them down, but some escaped and now haunt the lonely places of the world.


Eye of Terror (Su): The Phobos' central eye generates an effect similar to a permanent Symbol of Fear (caster level is equal to Hit Dice), except there is no hit point limit.  If the Willpower Save is failed by 5 or more or the victim rolls a natural 1 (DC 22, Save DC is Charisma based), it suffers cardiac arrest taking 2d6 hit point damage (Damage Reduction doesn't apply), and 1d6 temporary Constitution damage.  The hit point damage is regained at the rate of 1 point per day unless healed magically (Fast Healing doesn't work, but Regeneration does).  If this damage puts the victim into negative hit points, it must make a Fortitude Save (also DC 22) or die.

Flight (Ex): A Phobos' body is naturally buoyant granting it a permanent Feather Fall effect as per the spell of the same name with personal range.

Combat: Phobos are surprisingly not so aggressive unless they're hungry.  They tend to frighten others, and then disappear.  If hungry they'll keep chasing their victims till they run off a cliff or suffer a heart attack.

bhu

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6783
  • Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #72 on: December 04, 2008, 12:43:37 PM »
                     Atomic Golem
                      Huge Construct
Hit Dice:             45d10 (490)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          53 (-2 Size, +45 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 53
Base Attack/Grapple:  +33/+58
Attack:               Slam +48 melee (4d8+17 plus radiation)
Full Attack:          2 Slams +48 melee (4d8+17 plus radiation)
Space/Reach:          20 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks:      Radioactive, Atomic Breath, Atomic Smite
Special Qualities:    Spawn of the Atom, Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 15/-, Dark Vision 60', Immunity to Magic, Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +20, Ref +20, Will +21
Abilities:            Str 45, Dex 10, Con -, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 1
Skills:               -
Feats:                -
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary (possibly Unique)
Challenge Rating:     22?
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          46-60 HD (Gargantuan), 61-75 HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"How do we stop that thing Bob?"

"I'm sorry Zeke, I couldn't hear you over the sound of me crapping myself.  Could you repeat that?"

The Atomic Golem is a unique being composed of unknown metals and substances.  it has never been destroyed, but is often imprisoned or somehow sent away (i.e. gated to another plane).  Somehow the damn thing keeps coming back.  It's like a giant, poison Energizer Bunny.  It keeps on going.  The Golem appears to have gone Berserk at some point in it's past and upon awakening or entering a plane it just starts smashing everything in sight.  If it goes for long periods of time with nothing to smash it will go comatose.  What exact circumstances will wake it up are unknown.  The Atomic Golem is a metal figure standing almost 30 feet tall and weighing over 16 tons.  If it can communicate, it does not appear inclined to do so.

Radioactive (Ex): The Atomic Golem is made of radioactive materials.  Anything struck by it's Fists must make a DC 32 Fortitude Save or permanently lose 1d4 Constitution Damage.  Anything grappling or grappled by it must make a DC 32 Fortitude Save or take the same Con damage.  Anything coming within 120' of the Golem must make a DC 32 Fortitude Save the initial round, at 1 minute, and at 10 minutes.  If the opponent fails at 1 round he takes 1d2 permanent Con damage.  If the opponent fails at 1 minute he takes another 1d2 permanent Con damage.  If the opponent fails at 10 minutes it takes 1d4 permanent Constitution damage.  Save DC is Constitution based.  The permanent Con damage can be healed by Greater Restoration or Heal.  Any area in which the Atomic Golem rests for more than 10 minutes (or uses its Atomic Smite/Breath abilities) becomes radioactive itself. This has the following effects: A 30' Radius from where the Golem was resting (or standing when it used its abilities) becomes mildly radioactive for 1d6 centuries. Anything living entering the area must make a DC 12 Fortitude Save or lose 1d4 Con.  It must make this save 1 round after entering, and again each hour it is there.

Atomic Breath (Su): Once per day the Atomic Golem can unleash a blast of Radiation.  This is a 70' Cone.  Anything in it's area of effect must make a DC 32 Fortitude Save or permanently lose 1d6 Constitution.  Save DC is Constitution Based. Damage may be healed by Greater Restoration or heal.

Atomic Smite (Su): Once per day the Atomic Golem can unleash a devastating charge of radiation through its fist.  The Atomic Smite requires the opponent to make a DC 32 Fortitude Save or permanently lose 2d4 Con instead of 1d4.  The attack also gains a +4 Bonus to hit and damage.

Spawn of the Atom (Ex): Due to it's nature the Atomic Golem has maximum hit points per hit die. It also gains a +5 Racial Bonus to all Saving Throws and Initiative checks.  It is immune to Radiation.  Exposure to Severely Irradiated areas actually grants the Golem Fast Healing 10 as long as it stays there.

Immunity to Magic (Ex): The Atomic Golem is immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows
spell resistance. 

Combat:  The Atomic Golem doesn't require much in the way of tactics due to it's radioactivity.  It simply walks towards any opponent and begins flailing at ti with it's fists.  If there are large numbers of opponents it will use it's Atomic Breath, and if one is particularly troublesome it will use it's Atomic Smite.

« Last Edit: December 05, 2008, 11:57:37 AM by bhu »

archangel.arcanis

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 2938
    • Email
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #73 on: December 04, 2008, 11:50:13 PM »
these are awesome incarnate. though atomic golem has spawn of the atom twice, with slightly different descriptions.

Atomic reminded me of the tarasque and the first Oni from Rokugan. In an oriental game i ran i had the oni and T fight, now i want to see a 3 way battle with Big A.
Clerics and Druids are like the 4 and 2 in 42. Together they are the answer to the ultimate question in D&D.
Retire the character before the DM smacks you with the Table as the book will feel totally inadequate now.-Hazren

bhu

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6783
  • Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #74 on: December 05, 2008, 12:18:37 PM »
Fixed the Spawn of the Atom problem.  Thanks for pointing that out.

bhu

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6783
  • Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #75 on: December 05, 2008, 03:23:54 PM »
Poop Golem
                      Large Construct
Hit Dice:             10d10+30 (85 hp)
Initiative:           -1
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class:          22 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +14 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 22
Base Attack/Grapple:  +7/+18
Attack:               Slam +13 melee (2d6+7 plus Foulness)
Full Attack:          2 Slams +13 melee (2d6+7 plus Foulness)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Berserk, Unbegotten Foulness, Disturbing Presence, Improved Grab, Smother
Special Qualities:    Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 10/Adamantine and Bludgeoning, Dark Vision 60', low Light Vision, Immunity to Magic
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +3, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 25, Dex 8, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills:               --
Feats:                --
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary or Latrine (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     8
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          11-20 HD (Large), 21-30 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"We...are NOT...fighting that.  I don't care what the General threatened us with."

The origin of the Poop Golem is largely unknown.  They have appeared in several Dwarf/Elven conflicts on both sides, and the origin was assumed to be with them.  The Dwarves claim the Elves are too lazy to do mundane matters such as dig latrines, so they animate their waste to wreak havoc on the Dwarven lines.  The Elves have countered this claim by stating that Elves do not, in fact, poop.  The Dwarven legions response was to refer to the Elves as "a bunch of fruity, lying bastards".  Despite claims by either side, the Golems seem to attack both sides at random, meaning there is likely a third race at work.  Probably Gnomes.  Can't trust them Gnomes.  No sir.


Berserk (Ex): Each round it is in combat there is a 1% chance the Golem goes berserk.  It will attack the nearest living creature, or smash smaller objects each round until nothing is left before moving on to continue the destruction.  There is no known method of reestablishing control once the Golem is Berserk.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Golem succeeds with a Slam attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity.  It will then usually Pin it's victim, or Smother if it's small enough.

Smother (Ex): If the Golem successfully Grapples an opponent at least 2 Size Classes smaller than itself it may Smother them with a successful Grapple check.  Each round it maintains the Grapple  causes the victim to Suffocate (See DMG page 304).

Unbegotten Foulness (Ex): Poop Golems smell so bad that any living creature within 60' must make a DC 20 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Con based with a +5 Racial Bonus) or be Nauseated as long as they remain within 60' of the Golem and for 1d6 rounds thereafter.  A successful Save means the victim is only Sickened instead.  If the Golem successfully strikes or Grapples an opponent they will be required to make another Save each time, and it will stink for 1d6 days afterwards (during this time it automatically fails all Hide checks, cannot use Scent if it has the ability, and anything tracking t by Scent has a +8 Circumstance Bonus on the rolls) whether the Save is made or not. If the victim has Scent it will be Sickened until this effect wears off.  Opponents with Scent take a -4 Circumstance Penalty on Saves against this ability.

Disturbing Presence (Ex): Massive amounts of vermin roam over the golem and swarm the air around it.  Anyone within 10' of the Golem must make a DC 15 Willpower Save or be Nauseated for 1 round as they get bitten and crawled upon (Save DC is Con based).  Spellcasting or concentrating on spells requires a Concentration Check (DC 20 plus spells level), and using skills  requiring patience and concentration requires a DC 20 Concentration check.  In addition if the first Save is failed the victim must make a second DC 15 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Based with a +5 Racial Bonus) or be Shaken for 2d6 rounds.  If either Save is successful the victim is immune to this Golems Disturbing Presence for 24 hours.

Immunity To Magic (Ex): Poop Golems are immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows Spell Resistance.

Combat: Poop Golems always go for the Grapple.  Always.  It's like they know you hate that option the most.


Construction: A Poop Golem is made from 600 pounds of feces treated with alchemical compounds costing at least 100 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (alchemy) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Contagion, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 50000 GP; Cost 25000 GP + 1000 XP
« Last Edit: December 06, 2008, 11:02:07 AM by bhu »

veekie

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 9034
  • WARNING: Homing Miko
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #76 on: December 05, 2008, 06:09:58 PM »
Foulness needs a save penalty for any creature with Scent.
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."

bhu

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 6783
  • Convincing the rich whale fat enemas are healthy
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #77 on: December 06, 2008, 11:03:23 AM »
Fixed.  Also added Construction, which I will revise

veekie

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 9034
  • WARNING: Homing Miko
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #78 on: December 06, 2008, 02:52:08 PM »
Also suggested that the Organisation section includes 2-3 swarms, concealed within the golem's um, material. With the Latrine consisting of a veritable cloud of them.
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."

archangel.arcanis

  • Organ Grinder
  • *****
  • Posts: 2938
    • Email
Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #79 on: December 08, 2008, 04:12:40 PM »
well BHU your creations are pretty spot on.  I used both the turtles and the Gunpowder golem against my group friday night. Gunpowder didn't live up to its potential because our resident pyromanic didn't have any way to set it on fire, but the turtles made them have to work for a victory.  The high AC on them and low attack made this battle take a while (about 2.5 hrs real time) and drained our spell casters of every spell they had.  I so plan on using some more of these thing as my party levels just to see their reaction, i'm so gona use the bimbo and a succubus in the same town and let there be a terf war for the who is the biggest whore.
Clerics and Druids are like the 4 and 2 in 42. Together they are the answer to the ultimate question in D&D.
Retire the character before the DM smacks you with the Table as the book will feel totally inadequate now.-Hazren