Author Topic: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature  (Read 148437 times)

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Prak, the Mad

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #300 on: July 01, 2009, 02:37:51 AM »
am I the only one thinking "Korgoth of Barbaria" with the Dire Pigeons?

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #301 on: July 01, 2009, 11:54:33 AM »
btw, the swallow mechanic for kirby is a little too undefined...
but think of all the things you could do!

Undefined how?

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #302 on: July 01, 2009, 11:54:58 AM »
am I the only one thinking "Korgoth of Barbaria" with the Dire Pigeons?

There were giant Pengies in Korgoth?

veekie

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #303 on: July 01, 2009, 04:27:58 PM »
Did I miss it or does the Kaijiu not have a regeneration option?

Also, wanted:
PrC that lets you turn into a Kaijiu, probably rooted in Wildshape ranger or Bear Warrior.
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

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I can barely read mine.

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[spoiler]
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[/spoiler]

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Radmelon

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #304 on: July 01, 2009, 07:24:11 PM »
btw, the swallow mechanic for kirby is a little too undefined...
but think of all the things you could do!

Undefined how?

It doesn't actually say what happens to the swallowed creatures, and if I am not mistaken, don't most things with swallow whole let them make a grapple check to escape?

BowenSilverclaw

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #305 on: July 01, 2009, 11:13:33 PM »
btw, the swallow mechanic for kirby is a little too undefined...
but think of all the things you could do!

Undefined how?

It doesn't actually say what happens to the swallowed creatures, and if I am not mistaken, don't most things with swallow whole let them make a grapple check to escape?

Or cut their way out :)
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You caught a fish.  It was awesome.   :lol

Prak, the Mad

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #306 on: July 01, 2009, 11:49:17 PM »
am I the only one thinking "Korgoth of Barbaria" with the Dire Pigeons?

There were giant Pengies in Korgoth?
well, pigeons, not penguins, but yeah, unfortunately, I can't remember what they were called, or find pictures of them...

here we go, screenshot from youtube:
[spoiler][/spoiler]
« Last Edit: July 02, 2009, 12:11:54 AM by Prak, the Mad »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #307 on: July 02, 2009, 01:56:12 PM »
WOAH! Thems some big pigeons.

Actually it mentions that beings Kirby swallows cannot be harmed, and do not harm the Kirby.  They remain in his stomach until he spits them out (like in the game).  But I should probably add a time limit to how long he can hold them.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #308 on: July 02, 2009, 01:58:16 PM »
Did I miss it or does the Kaijiu not have a regeneration option?

Also, wanted:
PrC that lets you turn into a Kaijiu, probably rooted in Wildshape ranger or Bear Warrior.

That would have to be an Epic PrC since the Kaiju start at 40 Hit Dice.  And no they don't have a Regen option, how the hell did I miss that?

Anyway I have a somewhat better idea for the Kaiju.  This is an older idea I worked on and wasn't quite comfortable with.  I posted it to see if there was any interest, in which case I may pursue the newer idea quicker.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #309 on: July 04, 2009, 01:27:44 PM »
Dire Chicken
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             5d8+15 (37 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Clumsy)
Armor Class:          15 (-1 Size, +2 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+11
Attack:               Peck +6 melee (1d8+4)
Full Attack:          1 Peck +6 melee (1d8+4) and 2 Claws +6 melee (1d6+2)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Flying Charge
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Short Term Flight
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +6, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 15, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 7
Skills:               Listen +4, Search +6, Spot +4
Feats:                Improved Multiattack, Multiattack
Environment:          Any Temperate or Warm except Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary or Flock (10-30)
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          6-10 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"YAY!!! CHIKINS!!!

"Much as our niece enjoys this here farm Abner, Ah can't trust a man raises giant chikins."

"Yup."

Dire Chickens were a once rare farm animal escaped into the wild.  Subsequently they bred out of control and are now massive pests.

Flying Charge (Ex): When the Dire Chicken charges it uses it's Flight Speed to gain momentum, launching itself onto it's opponent in the air.  It makes a Full Attack with the charge, and it's opponent must make a DC 12 Willpower Save (Save DC is 10 plus half Hit Dice plus Cha Modifier plus a +2 Racial Bonus) or be Shaken for 1d6 rounds.

Short Term Flight (Ex): A Chicken can fly for (3 plus Constitution Modifier) rounds before it must land and rest.  It gains altitude half as quickly as other fliers do as well, but it may subtract 20' from any fall before calculating damage.

Skills: Dire Chickens gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Search Checks.

Combat: Dire Chickens usually fly sharp-bits-first right into opponents.  Many adventurers refer to them as "the worlds tastiest flying saw".


bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #310 on: July 04, 2009, 01:42:59 PM »
Dire Turkey
                      Huge Animal
Hit Dice:             10d8+50 (95 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Clumsy)
Armor Class:          20 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:  +7/+22
Attack:               Peck +12 melee (2d6+7)
Full Attack:          1 Peck +12 melee (2d6+7)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:     Blind Panic
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Short Term Flight
Saves:                Fort +11, Ref +9, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 24, Dex 15, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 12
Skills:               Listen +9, Spot +8
Feats:                Alertness, Endurance, Improved Toughness, Reckless Charge
Environment:          Temperate Forest
Organization:         Solitary or Flock (4-6)
Challenge Rating:     5
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          11-20 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"We're gonna eat good t'night Abner..."


Dire Turkeys are massive gobbling fiends who actively repress the local peasants by chasing them about when they gather nuts in the forest.  Or at least that's what the local peasants claim.  The starving, slightly wounded peasants carrying bird hunting bows...

Blind Panic (Ex): Whenever a Dire Turkey is subject to a Fear effect or Morale Penalty it completely freaks out and runs down the source of the fear.  This is a charge Attack doing 4d6+14 damage if it is successful.  If it hits the victim must make a DC 22 Fortitude Save (Save DC is 10 plus half HD plus Str Modifier) or be knocked Prone and Dazed 1 round.

Short Term Flight (Ex): A Dire Turkey can fly for (3 plus Constitution Modifier) rounds before it must land and rest.  It gains altitude half as quickly as other fliers do as well, but it may subtract 20' from any fall before calculating damage.

Combat: Dire Turkeys usually charge in an attempt to back opponents off.  Or they go screeching into the forest.  One of the two.


bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #311 on: July 06, 2009, 04:25:17 AM »
Dire Parrot
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             2d8+2 (11 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), Fly 80 ft. (Average)
Armor Class:          16 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/+2
Attack:               Bite +3 melee (1d6+1/18-20)
Full Attack:          1Bite +3 melee (1d6+1/18-20) and 2 Talons -2 melee (1d4)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Cracking Beak
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +5, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 12, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 12
Skills:               Listen +3, Spot +4
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Warm Forest or Plains or Hills
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (4-10)
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"RAWK! Polly wants a cracker!"

"How much we bein' paid to catch these things Abner?  Ah like money an' all but damn these birds are annoying."

"RAWK! Polly wants some gold pieces!"

"Thats why we're fetchin' em.  Don't know whut them boys have in mind, but it's worth it for 20 GP a bird."

"RAWK! Polly bein' used!"

"Yeah but Ah think they go out of their way to be jerks y'know."

"RAWK! Polly knows about Bert's gay experience at camp!"

"THAT'S IT!  Ah've taken all the ____ Ah'm gonna take from birds! Open that cage and give him an axe, we'll settle this now!"

".....um...Bert...you been eating the local berries? Birds can't hold axes."

"Good! That'll make this easier!"

Dire Parrots are incredibly large parrots who not only can repeat what they've heard, the can expand upon it, and almost seem to do so somewhat maliciously.

Cracking Beak (Ex): Parrots beaks are incredibly powerful for their size, and can even crack nuts.  They threaten a Critical on a successful 18-20.

Combat: Parrots go straight for the bite before flying off.  They know better than to hang around.

« Last Edit: July 06, 2009, 04:26:58 AM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #312 on: July 06, 2009, 04:46:17 AM »
Dire Pika
                      Tiny Animal
Hit Dice:             1/2d8 (2 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                15 ft. (3 squares), either Climb 15 ft. or Burrow 5 ft.
Armor Class:          15 (+2 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +0/-
Attack:               Nibble +4 melee (1 point)
Full Attack:          Nibble +4 melee (1 point)
Space/Reach:          2 1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:   -
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Poison Tolerance
Saves:                Fort +2, Ref +4, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 3, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills:               Listen +7, Spot +3
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Cold or Temperate Plains or Mountains
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Family (4-10)
Challenge Rating:     1/4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          ---
Level Adjustment:     ---

"We really should'na brought Sally along fer this.  Cold as a witches behind on this mountain."

"We'll think of something Abner.  We always do."

"Unca Bert! Unca Abner! Ah found shelter!"

"Really?  lead on Sally!"

moments later

"Whut the hell?  This cave is full of lil furry critters."

"Uh huh, and they says we can spend tha night long as we cause no trouble or squish the lil baby ones."

"How does she do this?"


Dire Pikas are among the worlds cutest furry critters, and come in mountain climbing or plains burrowing varieties.  Despite being huge for Pikas, they're still pretty darn small.

Poison Tolerance (Ex): Pikas eat many plants that are poisonous, and thus have a +4 Racial Bonus on Fortitude Saves against ingested poisons.

Skills: Burrowing Pikas have a +4 Racial Bonus on Climb, Hide, Move Silently, and Jump checks.

Climbing Pikas have a +8 Racial Bonus on Climb Checks, and a +4 Racial Bonus on Balance and Jump Checks.

Both types have a +4  Racial Bonus to Listen Checks.

Combat: Pikas are aggressive for their size, but not stupid.  They flee anything bigger than themselves.  At least until the adventurers go to sleep.


bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #313 on: July 06, 2009, 05:07:25 AM »
Dire Elephant
                      Gargantuan Animal
Hit Dice:             24d8+192 (300 hp)
Initiative:           -1
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          25 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +20 Natural), touch 5, flat-footed 25
Base Attack/Grapple:  +18/+45
Attack:               Gore +29 melee (4d6+22)
Full Attack:          1 Slam +29 melee (3d6+15) and 2 Stamps +24 melee (3d6+7) or Gore +29 melee (4d6+22)
Space/Reach:          20 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks:   Trample (4d6+30), Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Tantor
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves:                Fort +22, Ref +13, Will +9
Abilities:            Str 40, Dex 8, Con 26, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 12
Skills:               Listen +20, Spot +16
Feats:                Alertness, Endurance, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Snatch, Iron Will, Multisnatch, Power Attack, Skill Focus (Listen), Snatch, Awesome Blow (B)
Environment:          Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary, or Herd (3-15)
Challenge Rating:     12
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          25-36 HD (Gargantuan), 37-48 HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Abner...Ah don't wanna here any more complaints bought chasin' birds."

Dire Elephants are like regular elephants, except maybe if they were armored and twitchy from a steady diet of black coffee and spoiled bananas.  In other words you reeeeally don't wanna make em angry.

Trample (Ex): DC 37 Reflex Save for half Damage. Save DC is Str Based.

Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Tantor (Ex): If the Dire Elephant has successfully grabbed an opponent with it's Snatch Feat (A Dire Elephant threatens a Snatch Attack after using it's Slam Attack), it may squeeze them doing 2d6+15 damage per round the Grapple is maintained, or throw them away. 

Combat: Dire Elephants fight in much the same way as regular elephants do, they just tend to be meaner and put in the extra shot to make sure you're dead.  Plus they love to grab people with their trunks and throw them around.
« Last Edit: July 09, 2009, 01:21:42 PM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #314 on: July 06, 2009, 05:38:19 AM »
Dire Squirrel
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             2d8+2 (11 hp)
Initiative:           +4
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 40 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (+4 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 14, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/+2
Attack:               Nom +5 melee (1d4+1) or Nut +5 Ranged (1d4)
Full Attack:          1 Nom +5 melee (1d4+1) and 2 Claws +0 melee (1d4) or Nut +5 Ranged (1d4)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:   SQEEE!
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +7, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 12, Dex 18, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills:               Balance +12, Climb +12, Jump +9, Listen +3, Search +5, Spot +4
Feats:                Weapon Finesse, Brachiation (B) *
Environment:          Cold or Temperate Forests
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Family (4-10)
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

* Brachiation is in Complete Adventurer

"Unca Bert?  Unca Abner? Can Ah keep 'im?  His name is Goober."

"Sally, honey, we're s'posed ta whup the critters not adopt them."

Dire Squirrels are cute fuzzy abominations of nature who like to pelt adventurers with nuts and rocks.  Sometimes they play whats known as "Adventurer tag" by leaping on them from the trees, and then running away in some bizarre form of counting coup.

SQEEE! (Ex): As a Standard Action the Dire Squirrel can leap from the trees pouncing on an unsuspecting victim below.  The attack does 2d6+2 damage, and the victim must make 2 separate DC 14 Fortitude Saves (Save DC is Strength Based with a +2 Circumstance Bonus).  If the first is failed the victim is knocked prone.  If the second is failed he is also Stunned for 1 round.

Skills: Dire Squirrels have a +8 Racial Bonus on all Balance, Climb, Jump, an Search checks.  They may always take 10 on a Balance or Climb check, and may use their Dex or Str mod for Climb checks, whichever is better.

Combat: Dire Squirrels usually launch themselves at opponents out of the trees before scampering away out of reach.  Then they repeat.  Sometimes they  throw small rocks and nuts.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #315 on: July 06, 2009, 06:11:41 AM »
Main Lobster
                      Large Vermin
Hit Dice:             6d8+12 (39 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Swim 60 ft.
Armor Class:          18 (-1 Size, +9 Natural), touch 9, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:  +4/+14
Attack:               Pincer +9 melee (1d8+6)
Full Attack:          2 Pincers +9 melee (1d8+6)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:   Improved Grab, Constrict (2d8+12), Territorial
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Mindless, Vermin Traits, Blindsense 60'
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +2, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 22, Dex 11, Con 14, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 2
Skills:                -
Feats:                -
Environment:          Any Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     5
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          7-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Awright! Been a long time since we been crawfishin'!"

"Um...these ain't exactly crawdads Abner..."

Main Lobsters are gigantic lobsters that are almost psychotically obsessive about protecting their personal space.  Which is a small area of about 60' centered on their current position.  Anything entering that area gets attacked suicidally until it dies. 

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Main Lobster successfully hits with it's Claw attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If it is successful it may constrict.

Constrict (Ex): A Main Lobster does 2d8+12 damage with a successful Grapple Check.

Territorial (Ex): Once any living being gets within 60' of the Lobster underwater (or within 60' out of the water, and is seen) the Lobster goes into a homicidal fury and attacks, gaining a +2 Racial Bonus on all rolls for the duration of the encounter.

Blindsense (Ex): The Main Lobster can sense all beings within 60' as long as it is underwater.

Combat: Main Lobsters tend to rush forward and go straight for the claw attack almost mindlessly, regardless of what they are facing.  It's amazing their species lives to reproduce.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #316 on: July 06, 2009, 07:00:14 AM »
Dire Keet
                      Small Animal
Hit Dice:             1d8+1 (5 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 60 ft. (Average)
Armor Class:          14 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +1 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +0/-6
Attack:               Peck +2 melee (1d3-2)
Full Attack:          1 Peck +2 melee (1d3-2) and 2 Claws -3 melee (1d2-2)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Annoy
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 6, Dex 15, Con 12, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 7
Skills:               Listen +4, Spot +4
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Any Warm except Aquatic
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Flock (10-30)
Challenge Rating:     1/4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:         
Level Adjustment:     ---

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

"Bert I swear ta gawd Ah'm gonna kill this damn thing if it don't stop squawkin'."

Dire Parakeets are even more annoyingly screechy than the regular kind.  Even worse they're smart enough to know it.  Many is the Keet who has perched next to a sleeping adventurer and screeched the night away.

Annoy (Ex): As a Swift Action the Keet may screech each round, delivering a nails on a chalkboard sensation to any poor bystanders.  Any round in which it screeches within 30' of another being, that being must make a DC 13 Willpower Save (Save DC is Con Based with a +2 Racial Bonus) or any action requiring concentration becomes a Full Round Action, and he receives a -4 penalty on all Concentration checks for the round.

Combat: Keets aren't warriors.  They screech a lot, but they rarely full out attack anyone.


bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #317 on: July 09, 2009, 12:58:53 PM »
Dryad, Moss
                      Medium Fey
Hit Dice:             4d6+8 (22 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          16 (+3 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/+2
Attack:               Weapon +5 melee
Full Attack:          Weapon +5 melee
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Spell-Like Abilities
Special Qualities:    DR 5/Cold Iron, Moss Dependent, Wild Empathy, Fast Healing 5
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +7, Will +7
Abilities:            Str 10, Dex 16, Con 14, Int 14, Wis 16, Cha 17
Skills:               Escape Artist +8, Hide +9, Intimidate +8, Knowledge (Dungeoneering, Nature) +7, Listen +9, Move Silently +9, Spot +9, Survival +9, Use Rope +9
Feats:                Great Fortitude, Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Any Warm except Desert
Organization:         Solitary or Clump (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     3
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Neutral
Advancement:          By Character Class
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Are you the Moss Dryad known as Sibyl of the Frothing Marsh?"

"Maybe.  Who wants ta know."

"My name is unimportant at this time.  I have been sent by my Lord Pelor on a mission most urgent."

"Oh great.  A Paladin.  As if life in a swamp doesn't suck enough now."

"Excuse me?"

"I spend all my time in this dreary swamp hoping to get some, and who is the first man I see in months? An Elf Paladin.  A gay Elf Paladin."

"I AM NOT GAY!"

"Feh.  You haven't ogled me once."

"YOUR A PLANT! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I HAVE THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU PEOPLE?"

"That doesn't stop the Paladins of the other Gawds y'know."

"You know being as Pelor is technically the Sun God, and he's what allows your people to grow I'd think you'd be a little more respectful."

Moss Dryads appear to be completely green women with moss for hair.  They are unusual for Dryads in that they appear to have an unusual amount of body hair (moss).  This combined with their incredibly antisocial nature, the fact that they live in remote areas, and the shallowness of men regarding body hair ensure they live fairly lonely lives.  It also makes them assume any men not interested in them are homosexual, which leads to many frustrating conversations with the occasional stray Paladin on a mission from his thankless Deity.  

Spell-Like Abilities (Sp): At will: Horrible Taste (DC 14), One With the Land, Vine Mine.  3/day: Plant Body, Speak With Plants, Wood Wose.  1/day: Contagious Fog (DC 16).  Caster Level 6.  Save DC's are Wisdom based.

Moss Dependent (Su): This works exactly like the Dryad ability on page 90 of the MM, except the Moss Dryad is tied to a large clump of moss.

Wild Empathy (Ex): This works like the Druid's Class Ability of the same name except the Dryad has a +6 Racial Bonus on the Check.

Combat: Moss Dryads engage opponents with sarcastic banter (preferable from a distance) before coordinating attacks with their sisters.  usually they lead off with spells before pelting them with rocks.
« Last Edit: July 09, 2009, 01:03:46 PM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #318 on: July 09, 2009, 01:03:57 PM »
Dryad, Mushroom
                      Medium Fey
Hit Dice:             4d6+8 (22 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          16 (+3 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/+2
Attack:               Weapon +5 melee
Full Attack:          Weapon +5 melee
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Spell-Like Abilities
Special Qualities:    DR 5/Cold Iron, Mushroom Dependent, Wild Empathy, These Mushrooms are Not For Eating
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +7, Will +7
Abilities:            Str 10, Dex 16, Con 14, Int 10, Wis 17, Cha 20
Skills:               Craft (Poison) +5, Escape Artist +7, Hide +8, Intimidate +9, Knowledge (Dungeoneering, Nature) +4, Listen +7, Move Silently +7, Spot +7, Survival +7
Feats:                Great Fortitude, Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Any Warm except Desert
Organization:         Solitary or Clump (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     3
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Neutral
Advancement:          By Character Class
Level Adjustment:     ---

"I'm going to choose my words carefully madam.  Are you...or are you not...the Mushroom Dryad known as Butter Gills of the Frothing Marsh.  Please just say yes or no.  I'm on a mission from Pelor and I'm in a hurry."

"Aren't you that gay Elf Paladin all the girls are talking about.

(expletive tirade deleted)

"Wow you are tense.  Y'know if you were into women I could do something about that."

"So this is what Hell is like..."

Mushroom Dryads appear to be women with odd skin color/textures, who appear to be wearing an odd hat (i.e. they have a shroom head).  They are well known for their love of Badgers, and they often keep them as pets.  An easy way to tell a Mushroom Dryad is in the neighborhood is that you now have Badgers out the behind.  And they are allowed to dig up your flower beds and poop on your doorstep.  Seriously.  Or your getting a knife in the dark.  Cause momma doesn't let anyone touch her babies.

Spell-Like Abilities (Sp): At Will: Phantasmal Assailants (DC 15), Poison (DC 16), Summon Nature's Ally I (badgersbadgersbadgers).  3/day: Breath of the Jungle (DC 14), Major Image (DC 16), Memory Rot (DC 18).  1/day: Nauseating Breath (DC 16). Caster Level 6.  Save DC's are Wisdom Based.

Mushroom Dependent (Su): This works exactly like the Dryad ability on page 90 of the MM, except the Mushroom Dryad is tied to a large clump of Mushrooms.

Wild Empathy (Ex): This works like the Druid's Class Ability of the same name except the Dryad has a +6 Racial Bonus on the Check.

These Mushrooms are Not For Eating (Ex):  Anyone attacking a Mushroom Dryad with a Bite Attack must make a DC 14 Fortitude Save or be mildly poisoned.  Initial and Secondary Damage is 1d4 Wisdom.  If a Mushroom Dryad is Swallowed Whole, the opponent must Save each round the Dryad is in it's stomach.  Even if the Dryad is dead.  Don't eat mushrooms kids.

Combat: Aside from daring their opponents to lick them, Mushroom Dryads generally rely on their Spell-Like Abilities fro combat.  And their beloved badgers.  Many a minor adventurer has fallen victim to the furry force field living within the Mushroom Dryads vicinity.


bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #319 on: July 09, 2009, 01:04:52 PM »
Dryad, Banana
                      Medium Fey
Hit Dice:             4d6+8 (22 hp)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          18 (+5 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/+2
Attack:               Weapon +7 melee
Full Attack:          Weapon +7 melee
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Spell-Like Abilities
Special Qualities:    DR 5/Cold Iron, Moss Dependent, Wild Empathy, Banana Dance
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +9, Will +7
Abilities:            Str 10, Dex 20, Con 10, Int 11, Wis 16, Cha 20
Skills:               Bluff +9, Diplomacy +10, Hide +9, Knowledge (Nature) +4, Listen +7, Move Silently +9, Perform (Dance) +10, Spot +7, Survival +7, Use Rope +9
Feats:                Great Fortitude, Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Warm Forests
Organization:         Solitary or Grove (4-7)
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Neutral
Advancement:          By Character Class
Level Adjustment:     ---

"So these are the bananas you people described.  Is the Dryad near here?"

"Yes.  Yes I am.  Would you mind letting go of that."

"Sorry I didn't relize that banana was part of your skirt."

"I'm not wearing a skirt, and that isn't a banana."

"I really hate having to qualify for Atonement spells..."

"So would you say you're open to new experiences?"

"I AM NOT GAY!!"

Food bananas are an odd organism.  They're all quite literally clones of each other.  This has led to some odd qualities among Banana Dryads, and many consider them the spooky incest victims of the Dryad family.  There are certainly among the most attractive Dryads with their bright yellow leathery skin (it's almost like pleather, fetishists love them).  Mutations are common however, and some...well some of them have certain mental and physical oddities.  They also seem to have a weird affinity for Enchantment magics.

Spell-Like Abilities (Sp): At Will: Charm Person (DC 14), Entice Gift (DC 15), Mesmerizing Glare (DC 16).  3/day: Feeblemind (DC 18), Goodberry, Suggestion (DC 16).  1/day: Hold Person (DC 16) .  Caster Level 6.  Save DC's are Wisdom based.

Banana Tree Dependent (Su): This works exactly like the Dryad ability on page 90 of the MM, except the Banana Dryad is tied to a banana tree.

Wild Empathy (Ex): This works like the Druid's Class Ability of the same name except the Dryad has a +6 Racial Bonus on the Check.

Banana Dance (Su):  By making a Perform (Dance) Check the Banana Dryad can Fascinate all Living Beings within 60' unless they make a Willpower Save (Save DC is equal to the Perform Check). 

Combat:  Banana Dryads usually open with their Banana Dance while their partners sneak up on their opponents and bash them over the head.