Author Topic: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature  (Read 148377 times)

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bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #180 on: February 26, 2009, 01:29:27 PM »
Dire Tree Kangaroo
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             5d8+10 (32 hp)
Initiative:           +4
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 40 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (-1 Size, +4 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+11
Attack:               Claw +7 melee (1d4+4)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +7 melee (1d4+4)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Pounce from Above!
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Tree Travel
Saves:                Fort +6, Ref +8, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 18, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
Skills:               Balance +13, Climb +14, Hide +2, Jump +25, Listen +5, Move Silently +6, Spot +5
Feats:                Alertness, Stealthy
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     3
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:         
Level Adjustment:     ---

"GIT IT OFF MEEEEEEE...aww it's all cute and fuzzy like...BUT ITS EVIL!! GITITOFFMEEEEEEE"

Dire Tree Kangaroos are fuzzy marsupial critters almost the size of tigers with a sense of humor (they enjoy pouncing on people from out of trees).

Pounce from Above (Ex): When leaping from a tree onto an opponent below the Dire Tree Kangaroo is considered to be doing a Charge Attack and does +2d6 damage as it lands on the opponent.

Tree Travel (Ex): Dire Tree Kangaroos may move through the trees quicker than they can on the ground.  A Dire Tree Kangaroo may move at 40' while leaping through the trees.

Skills: The Dire Tree Kangaroo has a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb and Balance checks, and a +20 Racial Bonus to Jump checks.

Combat: Dire Tree Kangaroos generally aren't all that offensive, but they are sometimes a bit territorial.  Hence they tend to drop from the sky on unsuspecting adventurers every so often.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #181 on: February 27, 2009, 01:53:07 PM »
Dire Tamandua
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             4d8+12 (30 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class:          14 (+4 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+7
Attack:               Claw +7 melee (2d4+4)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +7 melee (2d4+4)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +4, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 10, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
Skills:               Climb +12, Listen +4, Search +3
Feats:                Blind-Fight, Skill Focus (Search)
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          5-8 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Uuuh...Burt...there's a uh...there's a weird critter thingie in the tree starin' at us.."


Dire Tamandua's are large tree climbing anteaters.  Fairly inoffensive, their claws are still quite nasty if they are frightened.

Skills: Tamandua have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb check.

Combat: Dire Tamandua's tend to flail at opponents with their claws i nthe hopes they will run away.  They're too slow to run away themselves.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #182 on: February 28, 2009, 10:28:16 AM »
Dire Poison Arrow Frog
                      Small Animal
Hit Dice:             1d8 (4 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          14 (+1 Size, +3 Dex), touch 14, flat-footed 11
Base Attack/Grapple:  +0/-6
Attack:               Bite +3 melee (1d3-2)
Full Attack:          Bite +3 melee (1d3-2)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Toxic Skin
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +2, Ref +5, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 7, Dex 17, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 2
Skills:               Climb +11, Jump +11, Listen +3, Spot +3, Swim +9
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-5)
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          -
Level Adjustment:     ---

"BURT!! DON'T TOUCH THAT FROG!!"

Dire Poison Arrow Frogs are about the size of baboons. 

Skills: Dire Poison Arrow Frogs have a +8 Racial Bonus on Climb, Jump, and Swim checks.  They may always take 10 on a climb or swim check even if rushed or endangered.  They may use their Dexterity or Strength Bonus for Climb and Jump checks, whichever is better.

Toxic Skin (Ex): The toxins in the Dire Poison Arrow Frogs skin are incredibly poisonous.  Anything touching it with bare skin, grappling, or attacking with an unarmed strike or natural weapon risks being poisoned (Contact, Fortitude Save DC 16, Initial and Secondary Damage 3d6 Constitution).  Save DC is Con based, the Frog has a +6 Racial Bonus to the Save DC.  Anything stupid enough to swallow one whole must make a DC 16 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Con based, the Frog has a +6 Racial Bonus to the Save DC) or violently retch it back up next round taking 1d6 damage in the process.]

Combat: Dire Poison Arrow Frogs rarely initiate combat.  They rely on their markings to warn predators of their nature.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #183 on: March 01, 2009, 12:44:32 PM »
Dire Chameleon
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             5d8+15 (38 hp)
Initiative:           -1
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class:          13 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+11
Attack:               Bite +6 melee (1d8+4) or Tongue +2 Ranged Touch (Grapple)
Full Attack:          Bite +6 melee (1d8+4) or Tongue +2 Ranged Touch (Grapple)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft. (10 ft. with Tongue)
Special Attacks:      Tongue, Swallow Whole
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Camouflage, Hide in Plain Sight, Wide Angle Vision
Saves:                Fort +7, Ref +3, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 18, Dex 8, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 6
Skills:               Climb +12, Hide +11, Search +2, Spot +7
Feats:                Point Blank Shot, Weapon Focus (Tongue)
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:         
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Bawb...Bawb thet bush is lookin' at me...lokkin' at me with big google eyes..."

Dire Chameleons are the size of small alligators.

Tongue: The Dire Chameleon has a very sticky tongue, and if it successfully a ranged touch attack with it, the Chameleon can immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity.  If the Grapple Check is successful it may make a Grapple Check to "reel in" the opponent the next round, and it begins doing bite damage the next round after that (if the opponent is too big to swallow) or uses it's Swallow Whole ability.

Swallow Whole: The Chameleon may Swallow any creature up to 2 Size Classes Smaller than itself with a successful Grapple Check.  The swallowed creature takes 1d8+4 in bludgeoning damage each round and 4 points of acid damage as well. A swallowed creature may attack the gizzard (AC 12), and doing 15 points of damage with a light slashing or piercing weapon. Muscular action immediately closes the hole, and other swallowed creatures must cut their own way out. The gizzard can hold 2 Small, 8 Tiny, 32 Diminutive, or 128 Fine Opponents.

Camouflage: Identical to the Ranger class ability listed on page 48 of the PHB.

Hide in Plain Sight: Identical to the Ranger class ability listed on page 48 of the PHB.

Wide Angle Vision: Dire Chameleons cannot be Flanked, and have a +4 Racial Bonus to Search and Spot checks.

Skills: The Dire Chameleon has a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks, and a +12 Racial Bonus to Hide Checks.  They may always Take 10

Combat:  Dire Chameleons generally Hide, and use their Tongue once a small prey creature gets close, or bites if something larger gets nearby.  If ambush tactics fail, it will try to remain hidden until the opponent leaves.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #184 on: March 04, 2009, 10:04:08 AM »



Dire Naked Mole Rat, Worker
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             2d8+4 (13 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
Armor Class:          14 (+2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/+3
Attack:               Bite +3 melee (1d8+4)
Full Attack:          Bite +3 melee (1d8+4)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Blind, Painless, Survival Adaptations, Scent, Tremorsense 60', Blindsense 30', Acid Resistance 3
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 15, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
Skills:               Listen +3, Search +3
Feats:                Improved Natural Attack (Bite)
Environment:          Underground
Organization:         Solitary, Group (3-6), or Colony (25-50)
Challenge Rating:     1
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          3 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---



Dire Naked Mole Rat, Soldier
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             3d8+12 (25 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
Armor Class:          15 (+2 Dex, +3 natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/+5
Attack:               Bite +5 melee (1d8+6)
Full Attack:          Bite +5 melee (1d8+6)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Listen +4, Search +3
Special Qualities:    Blind, Painless, Survival Adaptations, Scent, Tremorsense 60', Blindsense 30', Acid Resistance 3
Saves:                Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 17, Dex 15, Con 17, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 4
Skills:               Improved Grab
Feats:                Improved Natural Attack (Bite), Improved Toughness
Environment:          Underground
Organization:         Solitary, Group (3-6), or Guard (10-25)
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          4-5 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---


Dire Naked Mole Rat, Queen
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             5d8+25 (47 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
Armor Class:          15 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple:  +3/+12
Attack:               Bite +7 melee (2d6+10)
Full Attack:          Bite +7 melee (2d6+10)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab
Special Qualities:    Blind, Painless, Survival Adaptations, Scent, Tremorsense 90', Blindsense 60', Acid Resistance 5
Saves:                Fort +8, Ref +5, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 20, Dex 12, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 8
Skills:               Listen +6, Search +4
Feats:                Improved Natural Attack (Bite), Improved Toughness
Environment:          Underground
Organization:         Solitary, plus 5 Soldiers and 10 Workers
Challenge Rating:     3
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          6-8 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Burt...Burt I think we got moles...big moles...maybe mutants..."

Dire Naked Mole Rats are similar to their smaller cousins, and just as disturbing.

Improved Grab (Ex): Naked Mole Rat Soldiers and Queens may make a Grapple Check against a creature their own Size Class or Smaller without provoking an attack of opportunity.  They may use their Bite during a Grapple.

Blind (Ex): Naked Mole Rats are effectively Blind, meaning they are immune to any effect requiring eyesight.

Painless (Ex): Naked Mole Rats cannot feel pain as well as other creatures.  They are immune to subdual damage or penalties based solely on pain (i.e. spells like Wrack, Symbol of Pain, etc).

Survival Adaptations (Ex): Naked Mole Rats have a +4 Racial Bonus on all Fortitude Saves made against disease, starvation, dehydration, or suffocation.

Blindsense (Ex): Naked Mole Rats are extremely aware of changes in the air pressure in their confining burrows.  As long as they are within their tunnel system they effectively have Blindsight.

Skills (Ex): Naked Mole Rats have a +4 Racial Bonus on Search checks.

Combat: Naked Mole Rats are extremely xenophobic, killing anything entering their burrows, even mole rats from other groups.  They swarm en masse and bite away or try to block the tunnel by filling it with dirt.
« Last Edit: March 07, 2009, 10:44:18 AM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #185 on: March 05, 2009, 01:14:05 PM »
Any thoughts on the mole rats before I finish up?

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #186 on: March 05, 2009, 03:58:53 PM »
With a Burrow speed to indicate appendages designed to cut through soil, I'm wondering why they don't get at least one Claw attack....
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bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #187 on: March 06, 2009, 02:23:28 PM »
They burrow with their teeth.  Their cheeks seal so they dont ingest the dirt.

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #188 on: March 07, 2009, 11:26:23 AM »
 Dire Spitting Cobra
                      Huge Animal
Hit Dice:             9d8+45 (85 hp)
Initiative:           +6
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft., Swim 30 ft.
Armor Class:          18 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+21
Attack:               Bite +11 melee (1d8+7 plus poison) or Spit +6 ranged touch (Blindness)
Full Attack:          Bite +11 melee (1d8+7 plus poison) or Spit +6 ranged touch (Blindness)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Spit Venom, Poison
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves:                Fort +11, Ref +10, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 24, Dex 15, Con 20, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 2
Skills:               Balance +12, Climb +17, Hide +2, Listen +8, Spot +8, Swim +15
Feats:                Ability Focus (Poison, Spit Venom), Improved Initiative, Lightning Reflexes
Environment:          Warm Forest or Underground
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:    5
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          10-18 HD (Huge), 19-36 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Honey!! Honey git the wand!  Them snakes is back a' spittin' on the cows agin!"

Dire Spitting Cobras are an unfortunate problem in jungles about the world.  Their ability to permanently blind opponents with their venom makes them much worse opponents than the average giant snake.

Spit Venom (Ex): If the Dire Spitting Cobra can hit with a ranged touch attack, it's opponent must make a DC 21 Fortitude Save or be permanently blinded.  If the Cobra succeeds in making a critical hit some of the venom seeps into the victims bloodstream (Contact, Fortitude Save DC 21, Initial and Secondary damage 1d6 Constitution).

Poison (Ex): Injury, Fortitude Save DC 21, Initial and Secondary Damage 2d6 Constitution.  Save DC is Constitution based.

Skills: Dire Spitting Cobras have a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide, Listen and Spot checks, and a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance, Climb and Swim checks.  They may always take 10 on a Climb or Swim check, and may use the Run action while swimming in a straight line.  They may use their Dexterity or Strength Modifier for Climb checks, whichever is better.

Combat: Dire Spitting Cobras usually blind opponents with venom before moving in for the bite.  Usually the poison is enough to finish off most opponents.

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #189 on: March 10, 2009, 01:41:57 AM »
A refreshing look at what is usually the most boring creature type for monsters! bhu's monsters have fun coming out the wazoo! (wich would be a very interesting monster by the way...)  :D

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #190 on: March 11, 2009, 11:07:45 AM »
Any thoughts on this one:

Dire Porcupine
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             8d8+40 (76 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft.
Armor Class:          18 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +8 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+17
Attack:               Quill Slam +12 melee (1d4+7)
Full Attack:          Quill Slam +12 melee (1d4+7)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Quill Slam
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Quill Defense
Saves:                Fort +10, Ref +7, Will +3
Abilities:            Str 24, Dex 13, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 8
Skills:                Climb +16, Listen +6, Spot +6
Feats:                Alertness, Endurance, Improved Toughness
Environment:          Warm or Temperate Desert, Forest, Hills, and Plains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          9-16 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Aw man...Burt I don't think we can save yer dawg now..."

Dire Porcupines are pests with an insatiable desire for munching salt.  They'll even strip paint from buildings to get it.  They shed their deadly quills every where, and some have wiped out herds as all the bulls charge them and die after getting stuck.  Farmers and hunters hate them.  But they're huge, good climbers, and about as powerful as a bear.  A pointy bear.  A pointy bear who likes to lick paint.

Quill Defense (Ex): Anyone striking the Porcupine with an unarmed strike, a natural weapon, or (god forbid you're this stupid) grappling one becomes impaled on it's quills taking piercing damage equal to 1d6 plus the attackers Strength bonus.  For each point of damage taken, 1 quill is embedded in the opponent.  If the opponent is using melee weapons that don't have Reach he must make a DC 18 Reflex Save to avoid the quills (Save DC is Constitution based).  Any round the character spends doing something strenuous (climbing, swimming, running, fighting, etc) they work their way in further causing the opponent to take a -2 penalty to all rolls until 1d6 rounds after he stops doing strenuous activity.  If he spends more than 5 rounds performing strenuous activity he takes 1d6 damage.  Quills can be removed several ways.  They can be yanked out, doing 1 point of damage per quill.  Or they can be removed by a DC 15 Healing check per quill to remove them without doing damage.  If the quills aren't removed within a day, infection may set in and they must daily make Fortitude checks to avoid contacting the Red Ache (See DMG page 292).  Damage done by the Porcupine's Quill Slam embeds 1 quill per point of damage as well.

Skills: Porcupines get a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and may always take 10 on a Climb check.

Combat: Porcupines usually just raise their quills and once an opponent has attacked them they usually decide not to do so again.  If he is stupid enough to try it again the Dire Porcupine will grapple trying to lodge as many quills in the opponent as possible.

« Last Edit: March 13, 2009, 02:37:14 PM by bhu »

Prak, the Mad

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #191 on: March 12, 2009, 12:53:15 AM »
Any thoughts on this one:

um.. I want one to ride? that'd be awesome, plus, hey, free short spears!

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #192 on: March 12, 2009, 04:03:04 AM »
That'd be nasty on your crotch.
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

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I can barely read mine.

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #193 on: March 12, 2009, 04:36:41 PM »
adamantine lined saddle.  ;)

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #194 on: March 13, 2009, 02:50:06 PM »
Dire Shrew
                      Small Animal
Hit Dice:             2d8+4 (13 hp)
Initiative:           +4
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Climb 30 ft., Swim 30 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (+1 Size, +2 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/-2
Attack:               Bite +6 melee (1d4+3 plus poison)
Full Attack:          Bite +6 melee (1d4+3 plus poison)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Poison
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Scent, Hyper Metabolism, Ferocity, Fearless
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 12, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
Skills:               Listen, Search, Survival
Feats:                 Improved Initiative, Track (B), Weapon Finesse (B)
Environment:          Any Temperate or Warm except Aquatic or Underground
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"RUN! It's a big squeaky thang!!"

Dire Shrews are ravenous pests that infest virtually every environment in the known world.  Since they need to eat their own weight in food each day, they're are considered a prime target for farmers whose stock they tend to raid.  Few critters are as damaging to the environment as the Dire Shrew.

Poison (Ex): Injury, DC 13 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based), Initial Damage is 1d6 Constitution, Secondary damage is Paralysis.

Hyper Metabolism (Ex): Dire Shrews have a -2 Racial Penalty made on all Fortitude Saves to avoid starvation, and must begin making rolls after 12 hours if it has not eaten.  But it has a Racial Bonus to attack, damage, and initiative rolls equal to it's Constitution Modifier. 

Ferocity (Ex): The Dire Shrew may fight and act normally from -1 to -9 hit points.

Fearless (Ex): Dire Shrews are immune to Fear effects.

Skills: Shrews have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb and Swim checks, and may always take 10 on a Climb or Swim check.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen Checks.

Combat: Shrews charge and begin biting furiously, trusting in their venom to bring down prey.  They are almost fearless, and will attack even creatures bigger than  themselves.

will return to finish
« Last Edit: March 21, 2009, 12:26:36 PM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #195 on: March 14, 2009, 11:43:19 AM »
Anyone know what kind of poison it is shrews have? Neurotoxin?

Radmelon

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #196 on: March 15, 2009, 10:43:43 PM »
I may not know what kind of poison they use (will look up later), but I do believe you have found the ultimate example of the meme "omnomnomnom". except it eats people.  :evillaugh

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #197 on: March 21, 2009, 12:26:54 PM »
                      Dire Groundhog
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             8d8+32 (68 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares), Burrow 20 ft., Climb 20 ft., Swim 20 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (-1 Large, +2 Dex, +5 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+17
Attack:      Claw +12 melee (1d8+7)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +12 melee (1d8+7) and 1 Bite +10 melee (2d6+3)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      -
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +10, Ref +8, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 24, Dex 15, Con 18, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 6
Skills:               Climb +15, Listen +9, Spot +10, Swim +15
Feats:                Alertness, Endurance, Multiattack
Environment:          Underground or Temperate Plains or Forest
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, or Group (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          9-12 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"THERE'S BEARS IN THE GROUND!!!"

"Bob...bears don't burrow."

"IT SQUEAKED AT ME!!"

"Bob...bears don't squeak."

"THERE'S BEARS IN THE GROUND!!!"

"Sigh...I could spend my entire life having this conversation...Okay one more time, please try to understand before one of us dies..."


Groundhogs are, oddly enough, related to ground squirrels, and accomplished climbers and swimmers.  Which makes Dire Groundhogs an all terrain butt-kicking machine...

Skills: Dire Groundhogs have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb and Swim Checks, and may always Take 10 on a Climb or Swim Check.

Combat: Dire Groundhogs prefer not to fight, but lash out wildly with their teeth and claws if someone presses the issue.
« Last Edit: March 22, 2009, 12:53:36 PM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #198 on: March 22, 2009, 01:05:03 PM »
Dragon Millipede
                      Gargantuan Vermin
Hit Dice:             15d8+45 (112 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 40 ft.
Armor Class:          20 (-4 Size, +2 Dex, +12 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:  +11/+31
Attack:               Bite +14 melee (2d8+7)
Full Attack:          Bite +14 melee (2d8+7)
Space/Reach:          20 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks:      Spit Cyanide
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Vermin traits
Saves:                Fort +12, Ref +7, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 26, Dex 15, Con 16, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 2
Skills:               Climb +15, Spot +5
Feats:                -
Environment:          Warm Forest
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     7
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          16-32 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Yo Mike, there's a huge pink bug critter outside."

"Whut's it a'doin'?"

"Meltin' the goats faces with it's spit."

"I quit."

Dragon Millipedes are bright pink, spiny millipedes almost 60' long that can spit cyanide.  Theoretically it's a form of defense against predators according to Sages (defense? from what?), but it's also pretty good for bringing down munchable prey.

Spit Cyanide (Ex):  The Dragon Millipede can spit Cyanide once every 1d4 rounds in a 120' Line.  Anything in the area of effect has to make a DC 20 Fortitude Save or be poisoned (Contact, Initial and Secondary damage 2d6 Constitution).

Skills: Dragon Millipedes have a +4 Racial Bonus to Spot checks, and a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb Checks.  They may always take 10 on a CLimb Check.

Combat: Dragon Millipedes open up with spitting cyanide, then move in to bite.  Should this somehow fail they will blast their opponents with cyanide again and flee.

« Last Edit: March 23, 2009, 09:21:51 AM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #199 on: March 23, 2009, 09:49:06 AM »



 Dire Bunnies
                      Large Animal
Hit Dice:             6d8+18 (45 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                50 ft. (10 squares), Burrow 20 ft.
Armor Class:          16 (-1 Size, +3 Dex, +4 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 13
Base Attack/Grapple:  +4/+11
Attack:               Claw +6 melee (1d6+3)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +6 melee (1d6+3) and 1 Bite +1 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Rake (1d6+3)
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Immune to Nausea, Magic Tinkering, Scent, Scamper
Saves:                Fort +8, Ref +8, Will +4
Abilities:            Str 16, Dex 16, Con 16, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 10
Skills:               Jump +11, Listen +13, Spot +8
Feats:                Alertness, Fleet of Foot, Run
Environment:          Temperate Forests or Plains
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, Group (4-8), Colony (Several thousand)
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          6-9 HD (Large), 10-18 HD (Huge), 19-36 HD (Gargantuan), 37+ HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Mommie I found a bunny can I keep 'im."

"HOLY ____!!!"

"Mommie you always told we I wasn't 'sposed to use that word..."


Rumor has it that Dire Bunnies began as either a drunken joke, or the result of a mad farming mage who wanted a bigger food source.  If so the joke was on him.  A diet of pure rabbit meat can lead to a condition known as "rabbit starvation", and they mindlessly reproduce much quicker than sheep or cattle.  Some are extwa fwuffy though, so their fur is quite prized.  they aren't as good at burrowing as their rgular sized cousins, but they can still scamper quite fast.

Improved Grab (Ex): If a Dire Rabbit hits with it's Claw Attack, it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it may Rake.

Rakes (Ex): In a Grapple the Dire Rabbit has 2 Rake Attacks +6 to hit doing 1d6+3 damage.

Immune to Nausea (Ex): Due to their odd digestive system, rabbits cannot vomit, and so are immune to Nausea.

Magic Tinkering (Ex): Unlike most Dire Animals, Dire Rabbits come about as a result of magic used to increase their potential (much like Magebred horses in Eberron).  Unfortunately it went awry, and instead Dire Rabbits continue to grow with age.  Maximum size and age are currently unknown.

Scamper (Ex): If it wishes to flee a Dire Rabbit can temporarily increase it's Land Speed to 80 ft for (3+Constitution Modifier) rounds.  Once it Scampers it is Fatigued and may not scamper again until it has rested.

Skills: Dire Rabbits have a +8 Racial Bonus on Jump checks.  They also have a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen checks.

Combat: Bunnies are much like cats in that they prefer to grab hold and rake.





Elder Dire Bunnies
                      Super Deluxe Extra Biggie Sized "Hep Me Jesus" Animal
Hit Dice:             100d8+1500 (1950 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                70 ft. (14 squares)
Armor Class:          34 (-16 Size, +40 Natural), touch 0, flat-footed 34
Base Attack/Grapple:  +75/+115
Attack:               Claw +79 melee (4d6+20)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +79 melee (4d6+20) and 1 Bite +74 melee (4d6+10)
Space/Reach:          100 ft./65 ft.
Special Attacks:      Improved Grab, Rake (1d6+20)
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision, Immune to Nausea, Magic Tinkering, Scent, Scamper, Damage Reduction 20/-, Energy Resistance 20 (Acid, Cold, Electricity, Fire, and Sonic)
Saves:                Fort +67, Ref +52, Will +35
Abilities:            Str 50, Dex 10, Con 40, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 40
Skills:               Jump +40, Listen +40, Spot +40
Feats:                Alertness, Fleet of Foot, Run, 29 more
Environment:          Temperate Forests or Plains
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     17
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          101+ HD (Big)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Lookit it...jsut standin' aout there...wigglin' it's nose...it's EVIL I tells ya!"

" Bob...it's a rabbit...they all do that."

It'll be a'comin' fer our alfalfa fields...Ah knows it...Ah'm psychic that way..."

" Bob...rabbits eat alfalfa."

"Guess it's up to me to stop it!!"

10 minutes later:

"Dude...what the hell is Bob doing?  Is he attacking a 300 foot tall rabbit with a hoe?"

"Yeah.  Good thing the rabbit hasn't even noticed him.  Oh wait I think it just sniffed him..."

BOOM

"Well...guess we won't have to bail Bob out of jail anymore..."

Some Dire Rabbits get old enough to become truly gigantic.  Many an adventurer have been goaded into attacking one to avoid being called a sissy.  Not many of them survive the dare.  Those who do have one really lucky rabbits foot necklace (which requires some sort of magical levitation device to tow around).
« Last Edit: April 07, 2009, 12:55:41 PM by bhu »