Author Topic: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature  (Read 148441 times)

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bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #160 on: February 13, 2009, 12:59:34 PM »

Hummingbird Swarm
Fine Animal
Hit Dice: 3d8 (13 hp)
Initiative: +9
Speed: Fly 50 ft. ( 10 squares), Perfect
Armor Class: 23 (+8 Size, +5 Dex), touch 23, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/-
Attack: Swarm (1d6)
Full Attack: Swarm (1d6)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Distraction
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Immune to Weapon Damage, Swarm Traits, Evasion
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +8, Will +3
Abilities: Str 1, Dex 20, Con 10, Int 1, Wis 15, Cha 8
Skills: Hide +21, Listen +7, Spot +7
Feats: Alertness, Improved Initiative
Environment: Temperate Forest or Marshes
Organization: Solitary (Hummingbirds only swarm when summoned magically)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: -
Level Adjustment: ---

"Burt...Burt there's a buncha teeny birds lookin' at me.  Lookin' at me like ah don't belong..."

Nothing says AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH like being surrounded by angry Hummingbirds.  Normally Hummingbirds don't swarm unless magically summoned, and they usually get more guffaws than gasps.  At least until the first one puts out someone's eye.

Combat: Hummingbirds peck and run if the opponent can fight back, or just swarm him if he can't.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #161 on: February 16, 2009, 12:52:29 PM »
Superhero Template

Superhero is an Acquired Template that can be applied to any creature.

Size and Type: Unchanged (Animals become Magical Beasts).

Hit Dice: The base creature is raised to 5 Hit Dice. If it has 5 or more Hit Dice it gains 5 Hit Dice.

Speed: Base creature gains Fly 120 ft (Good).

Armor Class: Gains +10 Deflection bonus to Armor Class.

Attacks: Unchanged.

Damage: Unchanged.

Special Attacks: Keeps all Special Attacks of the base Creature and gains the following:

Hard Fists: The Base creatures Unarmed Strikes do not provoke attacks of opportunity and do lethal damage.

Ray Vision (Su): Once every 1d4 rounds the Superhero unleashes an energy ray (choose Cold, Electricity, Fire, Force, or Sonic damage). This is a ranged touch attack with a range of 100 feet. Damage is 2d6 plus 1d6 more for every 3 Hit Dice it has.

Special Qualities: Keeps all Special Qualities of Base Creature and gains the following:

Damage Reduction: Gains DR 5/-.

Immunities: Immune to Fear, Disease, Poison, stunning, sleep effects, nonlethal damage, or critical hits.

Tuff Guy: Gains a Racial bonus to all Saving Throws equal to it's Charisma Bonus (minimum +1)

Enhanced Senses(Ex): The superhero gains a Racial Bonus to all Listen, Search, and Spot rolls equal to it's Charisma Bonus (minimum +1). It also gains this bonus to Survival rolls when tracking by Scent (if it has Scent).

Born Fighter (Ex): The Superhero takes no size penalties to combat maneuvers.

Saves: Unchanged (but see above).

Abilities: +16 Strength, +10 Constitution, Int raises (or lowers) to 10, +4 Charisma.

Skills: Unchanged, remember to add the skill points from the extra Hit Dice.

Feats: Unchanged, remember to add Feats gained because of the extra Hit Dice.

Environment: Any

Organization: Unique

Alignment: Becomes Chaotic Good

Treasure: Unchanged

Challenge Rating: +5?

Advancement: Unchanged (or by Character Class).

Level Adjustment: +6

"Abner...Abner that skwirl has a cape...and I don't think he likes you touching his nuts..."

Superheroes are cape wearing lunatics who believe they fight for the common good. In reality they cause massive amounts of property damage fighting villains, and usually level the small towns they are in the process of saving. They have the same appearance as the base creature, but with a cape or unusual mask or headdress or something. Some got their power from the Gods, some get it from magical experiments, some are just freaks of nature. But they've all had some life altering event that made them very powerful, and fried their brain.

Example: THE IRON SQUIRREL


Diminutive Magical Beast (Augmented)
Hit Dice: 5d10+25 (52 hp)
Initiative: +7
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares), 30 ft. climb, 120 ft Fly (Good)
Armor Class: 27 (+4 Size, +3 Dex, +10 Deflection), touch 27, flat-footed 24
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/+9
Attack: Bite +12 melee (1d3+4)
Full Attack: Bite +12 melee (1d3+4)
Space/Reach: 1 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Ray Vision, Hard Fists
Special Qualities: Damage Reduction 5/-, Immunities, Enhanced Senses, Tuff Guy, Born Fighter
Saves: Fort +10, Ref +8, Will +3
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 17, Con 20, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills: Balance +11, Climb +11, Intimidation +4, Listen +3, Spot +3
Feats: Alertness, Improved Initiative
Environment: Any
Organization: Unique
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: None
Alignment: Chaotic Good
Advancement: By Character Class
Level Adjustment:+6


The Iron Squirrel appears to have been always powerful, he simply got tired of people picking on his nuts one day.  he ferociously defends the local forests nut trees, and may the Gods help anyone trying to raid them.

Skills: Squirrels have a +8 bonus racial bonus on Balance and Climb checks. A squirrel can always choose to take 10 on a Climb check, even if rushed or threatened. A squirrel uses its Dexterity modifier for Climb checks.

Hard Fists: The Iron Squirrels Unarmed Strikes do not provoke attacks of opportunity and do lethal damage.

Ray Vision (Su): Once every 1d4 rounds the Iron Squirrel can shoot a ray from his eyes. The ray is a 100' ranged touch attack doing 3d6 Force damage.

Immunities: Immune to Fear, Disease, Poison, stunning, sleep effects, nonlethal damage, or critical hits.

Tuff Guy: Gains a Racial bonus to all Saving Throws equal to his Charisma Bonus

Enhanced Senses(Ex): The Iron Squirrel gains a Racial Bonus to all Listen, Search, and Spot rolls equal to his Charisma Bonus.

Born Fighter (Ex): The Iron Squirrel takes no size penalties to combat maneuvers.

« Last Edit: February 19, 2009, 01:28:26 PM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #162 on: February 16, 2009, 01:22:54 PM »
Green Hulk
                      Large Aberration
Hit Dice:             12d8+94 (148, 196 Raging)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          18 (-1 Size, +9 natural), touch 9, flat-footed 18
Armor Class Raging:          16 (-2 Rage, -1 Size, +9 natural), touch 7, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple:  +8/+21 (+29 Raging)
Attack:               Smash +16 melee (2d6+9)
Attack Raging:               Smash +24 melee (2d6+17)
Full Attack:          2 Smashes +16 melee (2d6+9)
Full Attack Raging:          2 Smashes +24 melee (2d6+17)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Rage, Powerful Build
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Regeneration 5, Damage Reduction 3/-
Saves:                Fort +13 (+17 Raging), Ref +4, Will +8 (+12 Raging)
Abilities:            Str 28 (36 Raging), Dex 11, Con 24 (32 Raging), Int 8, Wis 11, Cha 15
Skills:               Climb +13 (+21 Raging), Jump +13 (+21 Raging), Listen +4, Spot +3
Feats:                Destructive Rage, Great Fortitude, Improved Toughness, Instantaneous Rage, Mad Foam Rager*
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     9
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Neutral
Advancement:          13-48 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---

*See Complete Warrior and PHB2 for some Feats

"Hey Abner, how da you say Please Don't Kill Us in freaky mutant critter?"

Professor Arturo was a lazy slug.  Always had been.  Always would be.  With no clue as to what to do for the contest he stole Professor Lambis' notes for transforming the Hulks by exposing them to planar energies.  His first two experiments (Alpha and Beta) died.  The third (Gamma) made a strange green, muscular Hulk with anger management issues.  He promptly beat Arturo like a government mule and escaped.  Arturo has made several more with the same results.  He, of course, lost the contest.  And a few brain cells from the multiple concussions.  The Green Hulks appear to speak Common.

Powerful Build: Identical to the ability listed on page 12 of the Expanded Psionics Handbook.

Rage: Identical to the Mighty Rage ability listed on Page 26 of the PHB.  It may be used a number of times per day equal to the Hulks Hit Dice divided by 3.

Combat: Green Hulks tend to fight by going into rage, charging, and repeatedly bashing whatever made them angry with their fists until it no longer needs bashing.

« Last Edit: February 17, 2009, 03:07:26 PM by bhu »

Radmelon

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #163 on: February 17, 2009, 04:07:33 AM »
You just hadda didn't ya... XD 

:drunk

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #164 on: February 17, 2009, 03:07:53 PM »
You just hadda didn't ya... XD 

:drunk

I had a request for it...

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #165 on: February 19, 2009, 01:34:31 PM »
Vampire Baby Swarm
Tiny Undead (Swarm)
Hit Dice: 12d12+15 (93 hp)
Initiative: +7
Speed: 15 ft. (3 squares), Climb 15 ft.
Armor Class: 18 (+2 Size, +3 Dex, +3 Natural), touch 15, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/-
Attack: Swarm (3d6 plus blood drain plus energy drain)
Full Attack: Swarm (3d6 plus blood drain plus energy drain)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Distraction, Blood Drain, Energy Drain, Domination
Special Qualities: Half Damage from Slashing and Piercing, Swarm Traits, Dark Vision 60', +2 Turn Resistance, Damage Reduction 5/Silver, Fast Healing 2, Gaseous Form, Energy Resistance 10 (Cold and Electricity), Spider Climb, Undead Traits, Weaknesses
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +8, Will +9
Abilities: Str 8, Dex 16, Con -, Int 6, Wis 13, Cha 14
Skills: Bluff +6, Hide +24, Listen +8, Move Silently +16, Search +7, Sense Motive +5, Spot +7
Feats: Toughness x5, Alertness (B), Improved Initiative (B), Lightning Reflexes (B)
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 8??
Treasure: Standard
Alignment: Always Evil (any)
Advancement: -
Level Adjustment: ---

"Burt...Burt I don't like me the look o' them babies...I think we should squish 'em and run...screw that let's just run."

The Gods alone know how these swarms come into existence. Who knew vampires could have kids? In litters no less. No wonder women are afraid of them...

Skills: Vampire Baby Swarms have a +4 Racial Bonus to Bluff, Hide, Listen, Move Silently, Search, Sense Motive, and Spot checks.

Blood Drain (Ex): Living creatures hit by the Vampire Babies swarm attack lose 2 points of Constitution due to drain each round.

Energy Drain (Su): Living Creatures hit by the Vampire Babies swarm attack gain one negative level. The Save DC to remove the negative level is 18 (Save is Charisma based).

Gaseous Form (Su): See monster manual page 254.

Spider Climb (Ex): Vampire Babies can climb walls as though with the Spider Climb spell.

Combat: Vampire Babies pretty much act like any other Swarm.  "Oh look victims..FOR THE HORDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
« Last Edit: February 20, 2009, 01:19:06 PM by bhu »

Radmelon

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #166 on: February 20, 2009, 01:48:01 AM »
You forgot the swarm subtype... ya might want to add that!

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #167 on: February 20, 2009, 01:19:31 PM »
You forgot the swarm subtype... ya might want to add that!

Thanks   :D

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #168 on: February 20, 2009, 02:37:35 PM »
Atomic Golem
                      Huge Construct
Hit Dice:             45d10 (490)
Initiative:           +5
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class:          53 (-2 Size, +45 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 53
Base Attack/Grapple:  +33/+58
Attack:               Slam +48 melee (4d8+17 plus radiation)
Full Attack:          2 Slams +48 melee (4d8+17 plus radiation)
Space/Reach:          20 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks:      Radioactive, Atomic Breath, Atomic Smite
Special Qualities:    Spawn of the Atom, Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 15/-, Dark Vision 60', Immunity to Magic, Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +20, Ref +20, Will +21
Abilities:            Str 45, Dex 10, Con -, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 1
Skills:               -
Feats:                -
Environment:          Any
Organization:         Solitary (possibly Unique)
Challenge Rating:     22?
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          46-60 HD (Gargantuan), 61-75 HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"How do we stop that thing Bob?"

"I'm sorry Zeke, I couldn't hear you over the sound of me crapping myself.  Could you repeat that?"

The Atomic Golem is a unique being composed of unknown metals and substances.  it has never been destroyed, but is often imprisoned or somehow sent away (i.e. gated to another plane).  Somehow the damn thing keeps coming back.  It's like a giant, poison Energizer Bunny.  It keeps on going.  The Golem appears to have gone Berserk at some point in it's past and upon awakening or entering a plane it just starts smashing everything in sight.  If it goes for long periods of time with nothing to smash it will go comatose.  What exact circumstances will wake it up are unknown.  The Atomic Golem is a metal figure standing almost 30 feet tall and weighing over 16 tons.  If it can communicate, it does not appear inclined to do so.

Radioactive (Ex): The Atomic Golem is made of radioactive materials.  Anything struck by it's Fists must make a DC 32 Fortitude Save or permanently lose 1d4 Constitution Damage.  Anything grappling or grappled by it must make a DC 32 Fortitude Save or take the same Con damage.  Anything coming within 120' of the Golem must make a DC 32 Fortitude Save the initial round, at 1 minute, and at 10 minutes.  If the opponent fails at 1 round he takes 1d2 permanent Con damage.  If the opponent fails at 1 minute he takes another 1d2 permanent Con damage.  If the opponent fails at 10 minutes it takes 1d4 permanent Constitution damage.  Save DC is Constitution based.  The permanent Con damage can be healed by Greater Restoration or Heal.  Any area in which the Atomic Golem rests for more than 10 minutes (or uses its Atomic Smite/Breath abilities) becomes radioactive itself. This has the following effects: A 30' Radius from where the Golem was resting (or standing when it used its abilities) becomes mildly radioactive for 1d6 centuries. Anything living entering the area must make a DC 12 Fortitude Save or lose 1d4 Con.  It must make this save 1 round after entering, and again each hour it is there.

Atomic Breath (Su): Once per day the Atomic Golem can unleash a blast of Radiation.  This is a 70' Cone.  Anything in it's area of effect must make a DC 32 Fortitude Save or permanently lose 1d6 Constitution.  Save DC is Constitution Based. Damage may be healed by Greater Restoration or heal.

Atomic Smite (Su): Once per day the Atomic Golem can unleash a devastating charge of radiation through its fist.  The Atomic Smite requires the opponent to make a DC 32 Fortitude Save or permanently lose 2d4 Con instead of 1d4.  The attack also gains a +4 Bonus to hit and damage.

Spawn of the Atom (Ex): Due to it's nature the Atomic Golem has maximum hit points per hit die. It also gains a +5 Racial Bonus to all Saving Throws and Initiative checks.  It is immune to Radiation.  Exposure to Severely Irradiated areas actually grants the Golem Fast Healing 10 as long as it stays there.

Immunity to Magic (Ex): The Atomic Golem is immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows
spell resistance. 

Combat:  The Atomic Golem doesn't require much in the way of tactics due to it's radioactivity.  It simply walks towards any opponent and begins flailing at ti with it's fists.  If there are large numbers of opponents it will use it's Atomic Breath, and if one is particularly troublesome it will use it's Atomic Smite.

veekie

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #169 on: February 20, 2009, 06:35:47 PM »
What happens if an Atomic Golem punches another Atomic Golem?
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."

InnaBinder

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #170 on: February 20, 2009, 10:07:30 PM »
Winning an argument on the internet is like winning in the Special Olympics.  You won, but you're still retarded.

I made a Handbook!?

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #171 on: February 21, 2009, 01:53:34 AM »
What happens if an Atomic Golem punches another Atomic Golem?

Curently I believe there's only one of them.

veekie

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #172 on: February 21, 2009, 02:26:38 AM »
Arrangements can be made to duplicate it. :D
The mind transcends the body.
It's also a little cold because of that.
Please get it a blanket.

I wish I could read your mind,
I can barely read mine.

"Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. At 2:15, it begins rolling up characters."

[spoiler]
"Just what do you think the moon up in the sky is? Everyone sees that big, round shiny thing and thinks there must be something round up there, right? That's just silly. The truth is much more awesome than that. You can almost never see the real Moon, and its appearance is death to humans. You can only see the Moon when it's reflected in things. And the things it reflects in, like water or glass, can all be broken, right? Since the moon you see in the sky is just being reflected in the heavens, if you tear open the heavens it's easy to break it~"
-Ibuki Suika, on overkill

To sumbolaion diakoneto moi, basilisk ouranionon.
Epigenentheto, apoleia keraune hos timeis pteirei.
Hekatonkatis kai khiliakis astrapsato.
Khiliarkhou Astrape!
[/spoiler]

There is no higher price than 'free'.

"I won't die. I've been ordered not to die."

InnaBinder

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #173 on: February 21, 2009, 03:34:05 AM »
What happens if an Atomic Golem punches another Atomic Golem?

Curently I believe there's only one of them.
I hear the Soviets are working on Joe-1 in Siberia.....
Winning an argument on the internet is like winning in the Special Olympics.  You won, but you're still retarded.

I made a Handbook!?

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #174 on: February 21, 2009, 10:40:08 AM »
Chiropterid
                      Huge Animal
Hit Dice:             18d8+144 (225 hp)
Initiative:           -1
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class:          19 (-2 Size, -1 Dex, +12 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 19
Base Attack/Grapple:  +13/+31
Attack:               Claw +21 melee (2d6+10)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +21 melee (2d6+10) and 1 Bite +16 melee (3d6+5)
Space/Reach:          15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Sonic Pulse, Swat
Special Qualities:    Blindsight 240', Scent, Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +20, Ref +10, Will +8
Abilities:            Str 30, Dex 9, Con 25, Int 2, Wis 15, Cha 10
Skills:                Listen +15, Search +6, Spot +9, Survival +7
Feats:                Alertness, Awesome Blow, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Toughness, Power Attack, Track
Environment:          Warm Forests
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     10
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          19-36 HD (huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"As you look up from the jungle floor to the walls of the cliffsides above, you see soemthing stirring in the giant caves running down their lengths.  Emerging from them are enormous wingless bat creatures.  The Chiropterids are awake for their nightly hunt."

The great Druidess Devi Hyooman tired of the endless swarms of gigantic mosquitoes infesting the rain forest she lived in.  The Dire Bats she had imported were too big to maneuver through the trees to catch them.  So she began a very selective breeding program over the years.  Eventually the Dire Bats became so big they lost the power of flight, their forelimbs now long front legs on their semi-erect quadrupedal forms.  They were massively barrel chested, and their sonar apparatus much more powerful, able to stun the mosquitoes long enough to be swatted from the air.  Even after she has passed on they continue living in the cliffs overlooking their jungle homes.

Sonic Pulse (Ex): As a Full Round Action the Chiropterid may unleash a nasty pulse of sound at it's opponents (usually giant mosquitoes).  This has the effect of an 80' Cone, and anything in the area must make a DC 26 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Constitution based), or be Stunned for 1d6 rounds.  If hte save is successful it is Dazed for 1 round.

Swat (Ex): If the Chiropterid successfully Stuns an opponent with it's Sonic Pulse it may make a Claw Attack as an immediate action.  This attack may use the Awesome Blow Feat without taking the -4 penalty to hit.  Flying opponents are knocked from the sky if hit successfully.

Skills: Chiropterids have a +4 Racial Bonus on Listen and Search checks.

Combat: Chiropterids usually open up with their Pulse and begin swatting until there's nothing left to fight, or they aren't hungry anymore.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #175 on: February 21, 2009, 10:53:21 AM »
Answer to the previous trivia question: The Gray Hulk is based on the appearance of teh old Umber Hulk toy from the 80's


Orange Hulk
                      Large Aberration (Cold)
Hit Dice:             8d8+32 (68 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                20' ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class:          18 (-1 Size, +1 Dex, +8 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+16
Attack:               Claw +11 melee (2d4+6)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +11 melee (2d4+6) and 1 Bite +6 melee (2d8+3)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Static Cling, Improved Grapple
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Obscuring Hair
Saves:                Fort +6, Ref +3, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 23, Dex 13, Con 19, Int 9, Wis 11, Cha 15
Skills:               Listen +3, Search +2, Spot +3, Survival +2
Feats:               Ability Focus (Static Cling), Diehard, Endurance
Environment:          Any Cold
Organization:         Solitary or Group (3-6)
Challenge Rating:  8
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Neutral Evil
Advancement:          9-16 HD (Large), 17-43 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Burt...Burt there's a huge pile o' hair out in the snow moving towards the cabin.."

Following Professor Lambis' cue, Professor Zamfirescu wanted to be different.  He also stole a copy of Lambis' notes.  His Hulks are among the oddest of the bunch, appearing as huge mounds of orange hair.  The wool on them is so thick making out their features is difficult at a distance.  They appear to speak Sylvan, which is odd because no one at the school speaks Sylvan and they have no idea who they picked it up from.

Improved Grapple (Ex): If the Orange Hulk successfully hits with it's Claw Attack, it can make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without Provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful it does it's Claw damage +1d6 electricity damage (due to the constant movement necessitated by Grappling the Orange Hulk does +1d6 electricity damage with a successful Grapple Check).

Static Cling (Ex)  The thick hair of the Orange Hulk builds up huge charges of static electricity as it moves.  Any round that the Hulk moves and attacks it does +1d6 electricity damage with any attacks (+2d6 if it charges).  As a Full Round Action the Hulk may shuffle it's feet back and forth to build up a massive charge.  It's next hit does +4d6 electricity damage.  Any time the Hulk successfully criticals with an electrified attack it's opponent must make a DC 18 Fortitude Save or be Stunned 1 round (Save DC is Charisma Based).

Obscuring Hair (Ex): Opponents of the Orange Hulk take a -4 Circumstance Penalty on all Critical Confirmation rolls as the thick hair on their bodies obscures them. 

Combat: Orange Hulks charge into the fray, blasting their opponents with their electrical claw attack.  After that they usually just Grapple or rip away.

Prak, the Mad

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #176 on: February 21, 2009, 01:02:32 PM »
Chiropterid
I like this, but, well, without wings, they aren't bats... nor chiropterids... but that's just my nitpicking. I like these, and the mental image I got while reading the description. Very Cool.

BowenSilverclaw

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #177 on: February 21, 2009, 01:48:33 PM »
The Orange Hulk reminds me from that hairy monster from those old Bugs Bunny cartoons :)

Just add sneakers :D


EDIT: This one: http://brilliantgameologists.com/boards/index.php?topic=3301.msg104377#msg104377

« Last Edit: February 21, 2009, 01:50:15 PM by BowenSilverclaw »
"Weakness? Come test thy mettle against me, hairless ape, and we shall know who is weak!"

Quote from: J0lt
You caught a fish.  It was awesome.   :lol

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #178 on: February 24, 2009, 12:18:51 PM »
"Holy Shit is that a Mosquito?"
                      Medium Vermin
Hit Dice:             2d8+2 (11 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                10 ft. (2 squares), Fly 80 ft., Good
Armor Class:          15 (+3 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 13, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +1/+5
Attack:               Proboscis +4 melee (1d6 plus disease)
Full Attack:          Proboscis +4 melee (1d6 plus disease)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Blood Drain, Improved grab, Anesthesia, Disease
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60'. Vermin traits, Improved Scent
Saves:                Fort +4, Ref +3, Will +1
Abilities:            Str 11, Dex 16, Con 12, Int -, Wis 12, Cha 2
Skills:               Spot +4, Survival +4 (+6 track by scent)
Feats:                Weapon Finesse
Environment:         Any Warm or Temperate
Organization:         Solitary or Swarm (3-10)
Challenge Rating:     2
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          3-4 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     --


"Bert...wake up Bert...it's on mah face...I need hep dammit..."[/B]

All jungles have mosquitoes.  Some of them have reeeeally big mosquitoes.

Blood Drain (Ex): Each round the Mosquito has a victim Pinned in a Grapple it does 1 point of temporary Constitution damage.  it will leave after it has drained 8 Constitution and become full.

Improved Grab (Ex): If the Mosquito succeeds with it's Proboscis attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity.  Mosquitoes gain a +4 Racial Bonus to Grapple Checks.

Anesthesia (Ex): If the Mosquito attacks a sleeping or unaware victim (flat-footed) they must make a DC 12 Fortitude Save to realize the attack is happening due to the numbing effect of the Mosquitoes bite.  Save DC is Constitution Based.

Disease (Ex): West Nile virus—bite. Fortitude save (DC 12) negates; incubation period 1d4 days; initial damage 1 Dex and 1 Con; secondary damage 1d2 Dex (temporary) and 1d2 Con (temporary or permanent).

Improved Scent (Ex): As the Scent ability listed on page 314 of the Monster Manual, but the Mosquito can smell blood up to 1 mile away.

Skills (Ex): Mosquitoes gain a +4 Racial Bonus to Track and Survival checks.

Combat: Mosquitoes end to fly straight up, grapple, suck, and fly away as fast as they can.  Then come back in a few hours if they're still hungry.  Damn skeeters...

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #179 on: February 25, 2009, 12:32:24 PM »
Dire Armadillo
                      Gargantuan Animal
Hit Dice:             36d8+324 (486 hp)
Initiative:           -1
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Burrow 30 ft.
Armor Class:          35 (-4 Size, -1 Dex, +30 Natural), touch 1, flat-footed 35
Base Attack/Grapple:  +27/+41
Attack:               Claw +41 melee (4d6+12/19-20)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +41 melee (4d6+12/19-20)
Space/Reach:          20 ft./15 ft.
Special Attacks:     Sticky Tongue
Special Qualities:   Scent, Low Light Vision, Rollup, Damage Reduction 10/-
Saves:                Fort +34, Ref +19, Will +14
Abilities:            Str 35, Dex 8, Con 26, Int 2, Wis 14, Cha 12
Skills:               Climb +20, Listen +10, Search +4, Spot +10, Survival +9
Feats:                Awesome Blow, Cleave, Devastating Critical, Epic Fortitude, Great Cleave, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical, Improved Toughness, Overwhelming Critical, Power Attack, Power Critical, Weapon Focus (Claws)
Environment:          Warm Forests
Organization:         Solitary, Pair
Challenge Rating:   
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Always Neutral
Advancement:          37-54 HD (Gargantuan), 55-72 HD (Colossal)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Bob...Bob that's not a hill..."

Dire Armadillos are armored tanks the size of small houses that feed on giant ants.  They pretty much ignore everything else, but they are skittish, and spooking them isn't wise.  They let out a sound like steam escaping and pound everything in the area to dust if frightened.

Sticky Tongue (Ex): This is a Ranged Touch Attack with a Range of 15'.  If used on an opponent at least 3 Size classes smaller than the Armadillo (and it hits successfully) he Armadillo immediately gets a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an Attack of Opportunity.  If successful, it may reel that opponent in the next round, and Swallow him the round after if the Grapple is maintained.

Swallow Whole (Ex): The Dire Armadillo may Swallow any creature 3 sizes smaller than itself with a successful Grapple check.  The Swallowed Creature takes 3d6+12 points of bludgeoning damage and 12 points of acid damage each round it is inside the Dire Armadillo's stomach.  A swallowed creature may cut it's way out by doing 35 points of damage to the stomach (AC 25) with a light slashing or piercing weapon.  Once it exits muscular action closes the hole, and other swallowed opponents must cut their own way out.

Rollup (Ex): As a standard action a Dire Armadillo can rollup.  It is immobile in this form and can take no action, but it gains a +5 Circumstance Bonus to AC and Fortitude Saves.  In addition it is immune to Swarm damage in this form, and it may substitute it's Fortitude Save for it's Reflex Save when attacked by Area of Effect spells, abilities, or effects.

Combat: Dire Armadillo's are more interested in food than fighting, but they spook easily.  Anything surprising them provokes an assault, as well as anything stupid enough to run at it with a sword (and you'd be surprised how many people do it). 
« Last Edit: February 26, 2009, 01:25:07 PM by bhu »