Author Topic: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature  (Read 148424 times)

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bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #140 on: January 26, 2009, 01:58:44 PM »
Devilish Attorney
                      Medium Outsider (Evil, Extraplanar, Lawful, Baatezu)
Hit Dice:             8d8+16 (52 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          18 (+2 Dex, +6 Profane), touch 18, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple:  +8/+10
Attack:               Slap +10 melee (1d3+2)
Full Attack:          Slap +10/+5 melee (1d3+2)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      Spell-Like Abilities, Unnerving Gaze
Special Qualities:    Damage Reduction 5/Silver or Good, Dark Vision 60', Spell Resistance 18, Lawyer, Fire Resistance 5, Immune to Poison, Fast Healing 2
Saves:                Fort +8, Ref +8, Will +8
Abilities:            Str 15, Dex 15, Con 15, Int 15, Wis 15, Cha 15
Skills:               Bluff +12, Diplomacy +12, Gather Information +12, Hide +12, Intimidate +12, Knowledge (Local) +12, Listen +12, Move Silently +12, Perform (Oratory) +12, Search +12, Spellcraft +12
Feats:                Irresistible Gaze, Narrowed Gaze, Pervasive Gaze (see Savage Species)
Environment:          Nine Hells of Baator
Organization:         Solitary, Team (2-4), Firm (11-20)
Challenge Rating:     6
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Always Lawful Evil
Advancement:          9-16 HD (Medium)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Yes your honor my client did burn down that orphanage, but we intend to show it was to save those poor orphans from the attentions of the local Cleric of Pelor. He is...a vile man..."

"Yes your honor my client was found naked, on horseback, sitting backwards, screaming obscenities and throwing filth at passers by while going the wrong way down a crowded street. Yes she was found to be drunk and possibly on every drug known to mankind subsequent to her arrest. And yes she did beat one of the arresting officers to death with a severed head. And we can explain this. It was the fault of THAT MAN OVER THERE!!!"

If you find yourself in truly deep legal popie, a Paralegal Imp may not do.  In these cases a full blown Devilish Attorney is needed.  If one of these guys can't get you out of trouble, your only option after that is to hire Asmodeus himself...

Spell-Like Abilities (Sp): At will: Comprehend Languages, Detect Thoughts (DC 14), Suggestion (DC 15), Charm Monster (DC 16)
1/day: Dominate Person (DC 17), Mind Fog (DC 17), Mass Suggestion (DC 18), Teleport
Caster Level 12

Unnerving Gaze (Su): Gaze, 30', Will Save DC 18 negates, Devilish Attorney gains +4 Enhancement Bonus on all Charisma based skill checks against opponent for 1 hour.  Save DC is Charisma Based.

Lawyer (Su): Gaze, 30', Will Save DC 18 negates, Discern Lies. Save DC is Charisma based.

Summon Baatezu (Sp): Once per day the Devilish Attorney can attempt to summon 2d10 Paralegal Imps with a 50% chance of success, or 1 Devilish Attorney with a 35% chance of success. This is the equivalent of a 3rd level spell.

Combat: Devilish Attorneys are fond of saying that they're lovers, not fighters. If there's someone their Spell-Like Abilities wont put down, they'll flee.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #141 on: January 28, 2009, 12:58:47 PM »
Chartreuse Hulk
                      Tiny Aberration (Swarm)
Hit Dice:             8d8+8 (44 hp)
Initiative:           +4
Speed:                20 ft. (4 squares), Climb 20 ft.
Armor Class:          18 (+2 Size, +4 Dex, +2 natural), touch 16, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/-
Attack:               Swarm (2d6)
Full Attack:          Swarm (2d6)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks:      Distraction (DC 17), Force Gaze
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Tremorsense 60', Swarm Traits, Half Damage from Slashing and Piercing
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +8, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 5, Dex 18, Con 12, Int 6, Wis 11, Cha 5
Skills:               Climb +8, Hide +12, Listen +4, Spot +4
Feats:            Great Fortitude, Lightning Reflexes, Ability Focus (Distraction)
Environment:          Warm Marshes
Organization:         Solitary, or Cluster (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     4
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Chaotic Evil
Advancement:          -
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Dude...Dude it's an army of teeny bug monsters.  That's hysterical.  Why are they looking at us and laughing?"


Chartreuse Hulks are small Hulks a little bit smaller than a cat.  Created by professor Mechelina for the contest for no better reason than she was required to enter a minion, and she was really really stoned (Hey, she's a Wizard.  They're weird critters.).  Not having any real idea of what they were or what they did she still went to introduce them the day of the contest only to find out they'd decided to nest in the college's solarium, and weren't leaving for anyone or anything.  Eventually forced to leave after a massive extermination campaign they are now firmly ensconced in a nearby marsh. 

Force Gaze: The Chartreuse Hulks Swarm Attacks do Force damage.

Skills: Chartreuse Hulks have a +8 Racial Bonus to Climb checks, and may always take 10 on a Climb check.

Combat: Chartreuse Hulks are more intelligent than most swarms, which makes them a little more dangerous than the average swarm.  But their tactics are still pretty limited to the traditional swarm attack.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #142 on: January 30, 2009, 01:08:34 PM »
Unfeeling Brute Template

Unfeeling Brute is an Inherited Template that can be added to any living, corporeal creature that is medium or larger.

Size and Type: Unchanged

Hit Dice: Unchanged, remember to add new Con bonus.

Armor Class: Natural Armor Class increases by +4

Speed: Lower base speed of all movement types by 5 feet, to a minimum of 5 feet.

Attacks: All natural attacks increase their damage die as if you were one Size Class larger (see MM page 291). If you have no attacks but unarmed strikes, your unarmed strikes become Slam attacks doing lethal damage. Unarmed strikes also increase 1 die.

Special Qualities: The base creature gains Powerful Build (see Races of Stone page 56), and becomes immune to all mind affecting effects. It also gains DR x/- depending on its Hit Dice. 1-4 HD=DR 1, 5-8 HD=DR 2, 9-12 HD=DR 3, 13-16 HD=DR 4, 17+ HD=DR 5.

Saves: Fortitude Saving Throws gain a +2 Racial Bonus

Abilities: Bonuses for Str, Dex, and Con depend on Size. Int becomes a 3 if it is 4 or higher, a 1 if it's a 2 or 3, and - if it's a 1 (the Base Creature also becomes Mindless in this instance). Wis and Cha are unchanged.

Code: [Select]
[B]Size[/B]    [B]Str[/B]  [B]Dex[/B]  [B]Con[/B]
Medium            +5        -2          +4
Large             +10       -2          +4
Huge              +15       -4          +8
Gargantuan        +20       -4          +8
Colossal          +25       -8          +12

Skills: Gains a +8 Racial bonus to Intimidate checks. Adjust skills due to new Int. It loses all skills other than Racial Bonuses if it becomes Mindless.

Feats: Gains 1 bonus Feat from the following list for every 3 Hit Dice if it meets the prerequisites: Area Attack, Awesome Blow, Brutal Throw, Crush, Cumbrous Fortitude, Diehard, Endurance, Fling Enemy, Great Fortitude, Greater Powerful Charge, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical, Improved Natural Armor, Improved Overrun, Involuntary Rage, Large and in Charge, Mighty Jumping, Pain Mastery, Power Attack, Powerful Charge, Power Critical, Power Throw, Pushback, Roll With It, Stomp, Toughness, and Improved Toughness. It loses all Feats except the Bonus Feats if it becomes Mindless.

Environment: Unchanged

CR: 5 or less HD: =1, 6-10 HD: +2, 11-15 HD: +3, 16+ HD: +4

Alignment: Most Brutes become Neutral unless they are prevented (i.e. Outsiders that are restricted in alignment)

Level Adjustment: +4

"So whaddya call this guy?"

"HE...IS...BISON MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!"

"Ooookaaayyy..."

Unfeeling Brutes are twisted mistakes of nature who are all brawn and little or no brain.  What causes this is unknown, but pollution by mages or alchemists (or teh interference of drunken gods) is often blamed.  They make pretty good cheap muscle.  Just keep them fed and happy.  Or bad times is a'comin'.

                      Bison Man
                      Minotaur, Unfeeling Brute
                      Large Monstrous Humanoid
Hit Dice:             6d8+24
Initiative:           -1
Speed:                25 ft. (5 squares)
Armor Class:          17 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +9 natural), touch 8, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+19
Attack:               Greatclub +14 melee (3d6+9) or Gore +14 melee (2d6+9)
Full Attack:          Greatclub +14/+9 melee (3d6+9) and Gore +9 melee (2d6+4)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Powerful Charge 7d6+13
Special Qualities:    Darkvision 60', natural Cunning, Scent, DR 2/-
Saves:                Fort +10, Ref +4, Will +5
Abilities:            Str 29, Dex 8, Con 19, Int 3, Wis 10, Cha 8
Skills:               Intimidate +9, Listen +6, Search +2, Spot +6
Feats:                Great Fortitude, Power Attack, Track, Greater Powerful Charge (B), Powerful Charge (B)
Environment:          Underground
Organization:         Solitary
Challenge Rating:     6
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Neutral
Advancement:          By Character Class
Level Adjustment:     +6

Bison Man was doubly cursed by the Gods for the actions of his parents.  Not only did he become a Minotaur, he's incredibly dumb.  But to give him a fighting chance, they did make him a bit tougher than usual.  Eventually he was adopted by a kindly old spinster woman at the edge of town named Granny Moses.  And by kindly old spinster we mean lunatic hermit well into both insanity and senility.  She believes that the Bison Man is a superhero who will save the villagers from evil and lead them into a new golden age.  Of course she also sometimes think the local cabbage crop are demons in disguise, and that the local villagers eat cabbage because they are mind controlled into doing so. 
« Last Edit: February 01, 2009, 01:04:03 PM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #143 on: February 01, 2009, 12:26:11 PM »
Fuchsia Hulk
                      Colossal Aberration
Hit Dice:             80d8+880 (1240 hp)
Initiative:           +0
Speed:                50 ft. (10 squares)
Armor Class:          32 (-8 Size, +30 natural), touch 2, flat-footed 32
Base Attack/Grapple:  +60/+96
Attack:               Claw +72 melee (4d6+20/19-20) or Eyebeam +52 Ranged Touch (20d6)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +72 melee (4d6+20/19-20) and 1 Bite +72 melee (6d6+10/19-20) or or Eyebeam +52 Ranged Touch (20d6)
Space/Reach:          30 ft./30 ft.
Special Attacks:      Eyebeam, Trample (4d12+40), Frightful Presence
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 240', Tremorsense 240', Damage Reduction 20/Adamantine, Fast Healing 5
Saves:                Fort +59, Ref +42, Will +26
Abilities:            Str 50, Dex 11, Con 32, Int 5, Wis 11, Cha 30
Skills:               Climb +33, Intimidate +24, Listen +13, Search +12, Spot +15, Survival +13
Feats:                Awesome Blow, Cleave, Combat Reflexes, Devastating Critical (Claws, Bite), Endurance, Epic Fortitude, Great Cleave, Great Fortitude, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Critical (Claw, Bite), Improved Multiattack, Improved Snatch, Large and in Charge, Multiattack, Multisnatch, Overwhelming Critical (Claws, Bite), Power Attack, Power Ciritcal (Claws, Bite), Rend, Snatch, Stamp, Weapon Focus (Claw, Bite)3
Environment:          Any
Organization:         unique
Challenge Rating:     30
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Chaotic Neutral
Advancement:          81+ HD (Collosal)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Abner...that purple hill over there ain't a hill...think we should be runnin' now..."

Professor Baketaten had always thought bigger was better her whole life.  So it was inevitable when given a chance to create an evil minion she would go for a giant.  A purple giant.  A purple giant with a liiiittle teeeny brain.  The Fuschia Hulk is the only known example of it's kind, and the world should thank the gods for it.  He's not particularly bright, and seems to understand common, but has never spoken or made any real attempt at communication.  he was eventually turned loose in the wild because the professors realized he would be dangerous to keep, but couldn't bring themselves to put the big lug down.  The Fuschia Hulk is a chubby purplish Hulk standing roughly 100' tall.

Eyebeam: Once every 1d4 rounds the Fuschia Hulk may unleash an Eyebeam that is a ranged touch attack doing 20d6 fire damage.  Range is 500'.

Trample: DC 70 Reflex Save for half damage.

Frightful Presence (Ex): Whenever the Fuschia Hulk attacks or charges all living beings within 150' must make a DC 60 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Based), or be Frightened for 4d6 rounds if it has less Hit Dice (opponents with equal orr greater Hit Dice are Shaken instead).  If the Save is successful the opponent is immune to the Fuschia Hilk's Frightful Presence ofr 24 hours.

Combat: The Fuschia Hulk rarely initiates combat, and seems lost in thought most of the time.  Or maybe he's just a vegetable.  Either way most opponents get the first shot in assuming they're stupid enough to assault him.  After which they get blasted by his eyeray, and the stragglers get stepped on.

« Last Edit: February 01, 2009, 12:37:39 PM by bhu »

Radmelon

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #144 on: February 03, 2009, 03:38:31 AM »
These all rock, ive been reading for a while but i finally decided to speak up. :clap

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #145 on: February 03, 2009, 11:08:15 AM »
Thank you  :D It's always nice to know people are reading!

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #146 on: February 04, 2009, 02:23:30 PM »
Lavender Hulk
                      Large Aberration
Hit Dice:             8d8+24 (60 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                20 ft. (5 squares), Fly 25 ft. (Clumsy)
Armor Class:          19 (-1 Large, +2 Dex, +8 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+19
Attack:               Claw +10 melee (1d8+5)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +10 melee (1d8+5) and 1 Bite +8 melee (2d8+2)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Paralytic Gaze
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Blindsight 60'
Saves:                Fort +8, Ref +4, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 20, Dex 15, Con 18, Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 15
Skills:               Listen +11, Spot +11
Feats:                Flyby Attack, Hover, Multiattack
Environment:          Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary, or Cluster (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     8
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Chaotic Evil
Advancement:          9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Bert...is that a bee comin' towards us?"

"Gawd ah hope not Abner.  Truly that is the ugliest bee Ah evah did see..."

Professor Huberta had always had a weird obsession with flying critters.  Sp it was obvious what her choice of mutation for her minion would be.  Unfortunately Hulks don't make great flyers.  Even when they've had bee wings added to their frames.  They came across as more amusing than horrifying.  Until they got mad of course and started zapping people with their gaze.  Lavender Hulks are pinkish purple Hulks with wings.  They speak Terran.


Paralyzing Gaze (Su): Gaze, Hold Person, DC 16 Willpower Save negates, Save DC is Charisma Based.

Combat: Lavender Hulks prefer to use Flyby attacks, paralyzing opponents with their gaze before landing to rip into them.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2009, 01:55:27 PM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #147 on: February 05, 2009, 12:53:43 PM »
First Place GitP Monster Contest XVII


Bubba The Headless Chicken
Tiny Undead (Incorporeal)
Hit Dice: 5d12 (32 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: Fly 30 ft (6 squares), Perfect
Armor Class: 17 (+2 Size, +3 Dex, +2 Deflection), touch 17, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/-10
Attack: -
Full Attack: -
Space/Reach: 2 ½ ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: Terrifying Appearance, Malevolence, Chickens Curse, BAWK!
Special Qualities: Undead traits, Dark Vision 60’, Manifestation, Rejuvenation, Turn Resistance +4, Unnatural Aura, Lifesense
Saves: Fort +1, Ref +4, Will +6
Abilities: Str 2, Dex 16, Con -, Int 12, Wis 14, Cha 14
Skills: Bluff +8, Gather Information +8, Hide +11, Intimidate +18, Knowledge (Local) +9, Listen +10, Move Silently +11, Search +11, Sense Motive +10, Spot +10
Feats: Ability Focus (Chickens Curse), Ability Focus (BAWK!)
Environment: Any
Organization: Unique
Challenge Rating: 5
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 6+ HD (Tiny)
Level Adjustment: -----


The setting: The jail of the small farming village of Tater.  In it's only cell sits a lone, surprisingly well-groomed Orc.  A ghostly chicken enters through the wall.

”Hmm..An Orc..and one who doesn't run away screaming just at the sight of me...don't get too many of your kind 'round here.”

"You must be Bubba."

"Ayuh."

"Is it just me or are all the local farmers crazy?"

Naw, tain't you.  They's damn crazy.  You should see the things I've seen.  Would curdle your blood.  Say, why ain't you runnin' in fear anyways?"

"Paladin of St. Cuthbert."

"Yeah, we definitely don't get many of your kind round here."

A farmer enters

"Greetin's ya filtheh Orc scum.  We's gonna test yew fer witchcraft tonight."

"And what does this entail?"

"Whelp, first we's gonna burn ya.  If'n ya don't burn, yer a witch, and then we hang ya.  If'n ya do burn yer just a filthy Orc and ya go to meet Jebus."

"I'm gonna try a wild stab at logic here just for the hell of it: If burning doesn't kill me, what makes you think hanging will?"

"Cuz everyone knows witches magic don't work 'gainst no ropes."

"Riiiiiiighttttt....say have you met Bubba?"

"Bawk."

"AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

The farmer exits the building

"Well that was fun.  Guess I'll work on escaping now..."

"What you doin' in a farming town like this anyway?"

"Your former owner escaped and asked the Church for revenge.  He mentioned you being a ghost and all, but he forgot to mention the locals were all insane.  What did they kill you for?  Witchcraft?

"Naw, they found out I was a transvestite."

"Seriously?"

"Yup.  This here roosters comb is fake.  Or at least it was in life."

"I hesitate to ask this, but does this town have any more surprises I should know about?"

"Well...the sheep are planning a bloody revolution in 2 days.  But beyond that, no things are pretty darn dull 'round here."

Once upon a time there was a poor farming village named Tater.  It was peopled with...well...poor farmers.  Jim Bawb was the best chicken farmer there, and his prize winning chickens won the countries competitions year after year.  Jim and his sons had to go through some pretty interesting times what with all those other chicken farmers trying to sabotage them and all (hence why he still wasn't rich after winning all those competitions).  One year his prize hen Mathilda was kidnapped after rumors that a curse hung over her head.  Jim Bawb never found out the source of these rumors, but he did find Mathilda, now known as Bubba.  It seems somehow during the missing hours Mathilda was gone she became Awakened, and couldn't remember how.  She also knew she wanted to be a rooster.  Talked about it for hours.  To anyone who would listen.  Even convinced someone to make her a rooster costume. 

While Jim Bawb was trying to come to grips with his prize hens apparent lifestyle changes, a mob stormed his farm.  They said he'd committed sins against Jebus.  Jim Bawb knew there was a new cult in town, but he hadn't paid attention since local religions came and went.  Apparently this one had finally taken hold and gotten violent.  They cut Bubba's head off, and Jim Bawb went into hiding with relatives before they burned him for witchcraft.

Before long Bubba came back, floating through the night air.  Sometimes he was headless, sometimes he wasn't.  Sometimes he carried the head under his wing.  For a fairly new ghost he seemed unusually powerful at inspiring fear.  Bubba began to wonder if the curse rumors were true.  He helped Jim Bawb escape by distracting the townsfolk to cover him (he possessed several people who did some very unusual things, and were subsequently punished with very unusual exorcism rites).  Bubba is a little concerned for the townsfolk now.  It isn't their fault they're dumber than monkeys, and whoever started this new religion was taking advantage of the poor folks.  Time to go hire some professionals to fix this...


Terrifying Appearance (Su): Any living being within 60' of Bubba must make a DC 20 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Based with a +6 Racial Bonus) or be Frightened for 2d6 rounds.  If they successfully make their Save they are Shaken for 1 round instead, and are immune to Bubba’s Terrifying Appearance for 24 hours.

Malevolence (Su): Identical to the Ghost ability listed on page 118 of the Monster Manual.

Chicken’s Curse (Su): Once per day Bubba can curse an opponent within 60' as a Standard Action.  This spell is otherwise identical to Bestow Curse in all aspects except it's effect: Once per day at random, the victims pants will fly off and he will spend one round doing his best impression of a chicken laying an egg.  Except he actually will be laying an egg.  If said egg is kept warm and safe for 1 week it will hatch a Cockatrice.  Bubba doesn't use this curse very often, unless he feels the victim is a real scumbag, and he usually warns people to dispose of the eggs, and what will happen if they don't.

BAWK! (Su): Once per day at the stroke of Midnight Bubba can unleash a tremendous Bawk that resounds for miles.  He doesn't do it very often unless someone has ticked him off.  The BAWK! is a standard Action, and can be heard by everything within a 10 mile radius.  Anything within 100' must make a DC 16 Willpower Save (Save DC is Cha Based) or be Shaken for 2d6 rounds.  If they are within 30' they are Frightened instead.  If they are within 10' they are both Frightened and Deafened.   If the Save is successful they are Shaken for 2 rounds regardless of how close to Bubba they are.

Manifestation (Su): Identical to the Ghost ability listed on page 118 of the Monster Manual.

Rejuvenation (Su): Identical to the Ghost ability listed on page 118 of the Monster Manual.  In order to lay Bubba to rest the PC’s must find out the origin of the curse that has created him.  And then convince him to go.  He seems really intent on hanging around actually.

Unnatural Aura (Su): Animals will not come within 100' of anyone possessed by Bubba, and Panic if forced to do so (they remain Panicked so long as Bubba is within Range).

Lifesense (Su): Bubba may automatically sense Living creatures within 100' as thought he had Blindsight. He also automatically knows the strength of their life force as if he had cast Deathwatch.
 
Skills: Bubba gets a +8 Racial Bonus on Hide, Intimidate, Listen, Move Silently,  Search, and Spot checks.

Combat: Bubba rarely involves himself in combat as it’s easier to hide until the big folk go away with all their nasty spitting Cleric types talking about heatherns and damnation and sin and such.  If chased intently he will likely use his Curse or Malevolence abilities to teach them a lesson by harassing them till they stop. 


-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Lore
Characters with ranks in Knowledge (Local) can learn a little about Bubba if they are from Tater. When the character makes a skill check, the following lore is revealed, including the information from lower DCs:

DC|Lore
10|Bubba was a famous local prize winning chicken in a farming village named Tater.
15|Somehow Bubba became aware (i.e. awakened), and dire predictions of a curse upon him were whispered about.  Possibly to prevent his further participation in competitions (Does anyone really believe someone would go through such enormous effort?  I mean really...).
20|Bubba was subsequently executed for crimes against nature (i.e. transvestism) by a crazed mob, and returned more unnatural than before.


Plot Hook
  • Jim Bawb has just barely escaped town after Bubba's death.  He appeals to the PC's for help in getting his farm back, and for enacting a hideous bloodstained revenge on the townsfolk for killing Bob.  He claims the PC's can have a cow made from solid copper if they win the day for him.  The PC's are probably likely to think him insane unless they have enough ranks in Knowledge: Local to recognize Jim Bawb.  He'd also like them to get someone to resurrect Bubba, who seems content with being a ghost.
  • Word has it there's a cult in the small farming village of Tater thats burning people for witchcraft.  They're definition of witchcraft seems a little vague and is usually described as "anything we don't cotton to".  Concerned authorities have asked the PC's to investigate.  Well okay thats a little bit of a fib.  Concerned authorities have actually asked the PC's to "find whichever drunken incest victim started this whole mess and beat him to within an inch of his life".  They'd also like them to look into rumors of a headless ghost chicken.  There's money in sideshow freaks these days.
  • The PC's are approached by a floating dead chicken who (after they stop screaming and calm down) asks them to find out the truth of the circumstances behind his awakening, and the subsequent source of the rumors he was cursed.  Cause being undead he probably was cursed now that he thinks about it.  He'd also like them to find who started the cult now causing trouble in Tater.
  • The Glitter Festival is the premier transvestite/female impersonator/general weirdness showcase of the land, and it's always been Bubba's desire to attend.  He has the minor problem though, that anyone seeing him starts screaming like they've seen a ghost.  Well at least a ghost thats malicious in intent.  He'd like the PC's to fix this problem for him if they could, without resurrecting him.  He kind of likes being dead. Plus he's a scheduled Judge for the Best Orc Transvestite competition, and he's worried people will try to harm him somehow.  The Judges get attacked every year, and Bubba thinks someone will resurrect him, and bump him off a second time in the hopes he won't come back as a ghost this time.

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #148 on: February 06, 2009, 01:09:52 PM »
Dire Monkey
                      Medium Animal
Hit Dice:             3d8+6 (19 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                40 ft. (8 squares), Climb 40 ft.
Armor Class:          14 (+2 Dex, +2 Natural), touch 12, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple:  +2/+3
Attack:               Bite +4 melee (1d6+2) or Poop +4 ranged (see below) or Branch +4 ranged (1d6)
Full Attack:          1 Bite +4 melee (1d6+2) and 2 Slams -1 melee (1d3+1) or Poop +4 ranged (see below) or Branch +4 ranged (1d6)
Space/Reach:          5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks:      We Fling Our Own, Hooting Frenzy
Special Qualities:    Low Light Vision
Saves:                Fort +5, Ref +3, Will +2
Abilities:            Str 14, Dex 15, Con 14, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 7
Skills:               Balance +10, Climb +11, Hide +3, Listen +3, Spot +3
Feats:                Weapon Finesse, Point Blank Shot, Brachiation (B)
Environment:          Warm Forests
Organization:         Solitary, Pair, Troupe (10-40)
Challenge Rating:     2??
Treasure:             None
Alignment:            Usually Neutral
Advancement:          4-6 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"Bert...tell me that ain't poop that just hit the back o' mah head..."

Dire Monkeys are man sized monkeys, with all the prerequisite monkey nastiness you see in zoos multiplied tenfold. 

Skills: Dire Monkeys have a +8 Racial Bonus to Balance and Climb Checks.  They may always take 10 on a Climb Check.  They may use their Strength or Dexterity Modifier for Climb checks, whichever is better.

We Fling Our Own: As a Full Round action a Dire Monkey can poop in it's hand and fling it at an opponent. Considering the grubs, dead things, and god knows what other foulness they eat, this is an excellent defense.  Dire Monkey poop is widely considered to be one of  the most foul substances in the known world, and no one wants it on them. Anyone hit by it must make a DC 13 Fortitude Save or be Nauseated for 2 rounds (along with screaming" What, Oh Lord, have I done to deserve this??").  Save DC is Constitution based.  In addition, if it isn't washed of within 5 minutes, the smell will remain for 1d6 days giving creatures tracking you by scent a +4 circumstance bonus to their rolls.

Hooting Frenzy: When on the attack Dire Monkeys go totally insane, flinging leaves, dirt, twigs, and god knows what else.  They constantly hop around screaming, waving their arms, urinating freely on opponents.  Which is a nice way of saying they're one hell of a distraction.  If a Dire Monkey is in at least 2 adjoining spaces an opponent must make a DC 11 Willpower Save or be Shaken for the remainder of the encounter.  Save DC is Charisma Based, with a +2 Racial Bonus.

Combat: Dire Monkeys usually fling poop, or branches if that doesn't drive someone off.  If the opponent still persists they go into a frenzy and charge en masse in an attempt to scare opponents off or beat them senseless otherwise.

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #149 on: February 06, 2009, 01:19:50 PM »
Periwinkle Hulk
                      Large Aberration
Hit Dice:             8d8+24 (60 hp)
Initiative:           +2
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          19 (-1 Large, +2 Dex, +8 natural), touch 11, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+19
Attack:               Claw +10 melee (1d8+5)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +10 melee (1d8+5) and 1 Bite +5 melee (2d8+2)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Hypnotic Gaze, Flower Addiction
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Tremorsense 60'
Saves:                Fort +10, Ref +4, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 20, Dex 15, Con 18, Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 15
Skills:               Listen +11, Spot +11
Feats:                Endurance, Diehard, Great Fortitude
Environment:          Warm Plains
Organization:         Solitary, or Cluster (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     8?
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Chaotic Neutral
Advancement:          9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---


"ABNER!! Abner there's a giant critter eatin' mah flowers!"

"And?"

"And you need ta do yer husbinly dutees and go whack 'im!"

Professor Lamolle thought the idea of a contest of color coded evil minions was incredibly beneath him.  In defiance he decided to create a colorless Hulk.  And it worked of a sort.  Their skin was colorless, making their organs and such visible.  Until they ate.  Then they absorbed the color of what they ate, possibly permanently if it stained.  Unfortunately the new Hulks had some problems with myrtle flowers.  Specifically they went completely nuts if they ate one, and it permanently dyes them a periwinkle color (hence their name).  As the contest was held outside, the Hulks had ample access to myrtle flowers, and did a surprising 40 thousand gold in property damage before being brought under control.  Periwinkle Hulks speak Terran.

Hypnotic Gaze (Su): Gaze, Mesmerizing Glare (see Spell Compendium), 30', DC 16 Willpower Save negates, Save DC is Charisma based.

Flower Addiction (Ex): If a Periwinkle Hulk eats a Myrtle flower it has to make a DC 20 Willpower Save 1d6 rounds later or it becomes subject to Frenzy.  This is identical to the class ability listed on page 34 of the Complete Warrior except that the Periwinkle Hulks don't attack each other.

Combat: Tactics are pretty similar to regular Umber Hulks, unless there are Myrtle flowers nearby.  If they've eaten any, just run.  There's no talking to them then.

« Last Edit: February 08, 2009, 01:55:47 PM by bhu »

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #150 on: February 07, 2009, 12:45:15 PM »
DIRE THINGIE TEMPLATE

Dire Thingie is an Inherited or Acquired Template that can be added to any living creature with an Intelligence of 2 or less that has had it's Size Class increased to two Size Classes bigger (with a minimum Size Class of Small), and it's Hit Dice Advanced to twice it's normal amount (with a set minimum based on Size). The minimum Hit Dice based on Base Creatures new Size is Small = 3 HD, Medium = 4 HD, Large = 8 HD, Huge = 12 HD, Gargantuan = 20 HD, Colossal = 36 HD. For example if applied to a Porpoise (which is normally 2 Hit Dice) the Porpoise becomes 4 Hit Dice. If applied to a Rat (which is less than 1 Hit Die) it becomes 3 Hit Dice. Recalculate BAB, Saves, Skills, Stats, Armor Class, Feats, Damage, and Save DC's of special attacks due to new Hit Dice and Size. Recalculate CR (See MM page 294 for suggestions), and then apply this template.

Size and Type: Type does not change.

Hit Dice: Unchanged.

Speed: If the creature is Large or larger it's Base Land Speed (if it has one) increases to 40 feet. Otherwise speed remains unchanged.

Armor Class:The Base Creatures Natural Armor Bonus is 1.5 times greater (round down). For example if the Base Creature had a +4 Natural Armor bonus, it now has a +6. If the base creature has heavy natural armor (i.e. a turtle or armadillo shell for example) it doubles instead. There is a minimum Natural AC Bonus based on Size: Small=+3, Medium=+4, Large=+5, Huge=+6, Gargantuan=+7, and Colossal=+8.

Attacks: Unchanged.

Damage: Unchanged.

Special Attacks: Retains all Special Attacks of Base Creature. Range or Area of Effect is 1.5 times bigger (for example if the Base Creature has a Breath Weapon that's a 30' Cone, it's now a 45' Cone).

Special Qualities: Retains all Special Qualities of Base Creature.

Saves: Unchanged.

Abilities: +2 Str, +2 Dex, +2 Con, +4 Cha.

Skills: Unchanged.

Feats: The Base Creature gains Improved Toughness as a Bonus Feat.

Environment: Unchanged

Organization: Usually Solitary

Challenge Rating: +1

Treasure: Unchanged

Alignment: Unchanged

Advancement: Up to double it's base Hit Dice. If that puts it past the minimum for the next size class, it goes up too. For example if the Base Creature is 8 HD, it can go up to 16 HD. It would be 9-11 (Large), 12-16 (Huge).

Level Adjustment: +1

Example of creature using template here:

Dire Lemure
Huge Outsider (Baatezu, Evil, Extraplanar, Lawful)
Hit Dice: 12d8+72 (126 hp)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares)
Armor Class: 20 (-2 Size, -1 Dex, +13 Natural), touch 7, flat-footed 23
Base Attack/Grapple: +12/+29
Attack: Claw +19 melee (1d8+9)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +19 melee (1d8+9)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Damage Reduction 5/Good or Silver, Dark Vision 60', Immunity ot Fire and Poison, Mindless, See in Darkness
Saves: Fort +13, Ref +7, Will +8
Abilities:[/B] Str 28, Dex 8, Con 20, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 9
Skills: -
Feats: Improved Toughness (B)
Environment: Nine Hells of Baator
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating:
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Lawful Evil
Advancement: 13-19 HD (Huge), 20-24 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment: ---


Dire Dire Badger
Huge Animal
Hit Dice: 12d8+111 (165 hp)
Initiative: +3
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares), burrow 10 ft.
Armor Class: 22 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +12 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 20
Base Attack/Grapple: +9/+28
Attack: Claw +18 melee (1d8+11)
Full Attack: 2 Claws +18 melee (1d8+11) and 1 Bite +13 melee (2d6+5)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Rage
Special Qualities: Low Light Vision, Scent
Saves: Fort +16, Ref +10, Will +5
Abilities: Str 32, Dex 15, Con 27, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 14
Skills: Listen +10, Spot +11
Feats: Improved Toughness (B), Track (B), Alertness, Toughness, Power Attack, Cleave
Environment: Temperate Forests
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating:
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 13-19 HD (Huge), 20-24 HD (Gargantuan)
Level Adjustment: ---

Dire Frost Worm
Colossal Magical Beast (Cold)
Hit Dice: 36d8+504 (666 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft. (8 squares), burrow 10 ft.
Armor Class: 30 (-8 Size, +28 Natural), touch 2, flat-footed 38
Base Attack/Grapple: +36/+69
Attack: Bite +45 melee (4d6+25/19-20 plus 1d8 cold)
Full Attack: Bite +45 melee (4d6+25/19-20 plus 1d8 cold)
Space/Reach: 30 ft./20 ft.
Special Attacks: Trill, Cold, Breath Weapon
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60', Death Throes, Immunity to Cold, Low Light Vision, Vulnerability to Fire
Saves: Fort +20, Ref +20, Will +14
Abilities: Str 44, Dex 10, Con 36, Int 2, Wis 11, Cha 15
Skills: Hide +3, Listen +12, Spot +12
Feats: Improved Toughness (B), Ability Focus (Trill, Breath Weapon), Alertness, Cleave, Great Cleave, Improved Critical (Bite), Improved Initiative, Improved Natural Attack (Bite), Iron Will, Large and In Charge, Power Attack, Power Critical (Bite), Weapon Focus (Bite)
Environment: Cold Plains
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating:
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral
Advancement: 37-72 HD (Collosal)
Level Adjustment: ---

Trill (Su): 200' area, Will Save DC 32

Breath Weapon (Su): 60' Cone, Reflex Save DC 36

Death Throes (Su): 100' area, Reflex Save DC 34
« Last Edit: February 08, 2009, 01:51:10 PM by bhu »

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #151 on: February 08, 2009, 01:51:48 PM »
Sepia Hulk
                      Large Aberration (Incorporeal)
Hit Dice:             10d8 (45 hp)
Initiative:           +3
Speed:                Fly 30 ft. (6 squares), Good
Armor Class:          20 (-1 Large, +3 Dex, +8 Deflection), touch 20, flat-footed 17
Base Attack/Grapple:  +7/-
Attack:               Claw +9 melee touch (energy drain)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +9 melee touch (energy drain) and 1 Bite +4 melee touch (energy drain)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Shadow Touch
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Blindsight 60', Incorporeal Shadow
Saves:                Fort +9, Ref +10, Will +4
Abilities:            Str -, Dex 17, Con -, Int 7, Wis 13, Cha 16
Skills:               Hide +16, Listen +6, Move Silently +16, Search +4, Spot +6
Feats:                Great Fortitude
Environment:          Any Cold
Organization:         Solitary or Pack (3-6)
Challenge Rating:     10
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Neutral Evil
Advancement:          11-15 HD (Large), 16-30 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Abner...that shadow just moved..."

Professor Panagiotis also thought the Minion contest wasn't truly serious, and rebelled at the idea of making something so foolish as a color coded Hulk Minion.  So he set about to make a colorless one as well, ending up with a Hulk that was completely black.  But the energies he exposed it too made it a true monster.  Not undead, it shared many of the characteristics of one.  An incorporeal phantom creature that hungered for the living.  And unfortunately for Panagiotis he was living, and available.  The Sepia Hulks have never made any attempt to communicate or shown that they understood any attempt to communicate with them.

Shadow Touch (Su): By making a touch attack the Hulk can bestow 1 Negative level upon it's opponent if it fails a DC 17 Fortitude Save.  the Hulk does not gain any temporary hit points from this as it is how it feeds.  It must drain 1 energy level per week or die.

Incorporeal Shadow (Su): Sepia Hulks are Incorporeal, and have no Strength or Constitution score (despite not being Undead).  They are immune to poison, sleep effects, disease, death effects, paralysis, stunning, critical hits, nonlethal damage, ability drain or damage, energy drain, fatigue, and exhaustion effects.  It does not breathe or sleep.  In total Darkness it is invisible as per the Greater Invisibility spell.

Skills: Sepia Hulks gain a +8 Racial Bonus to Hide and Move Silently Checks.

Combat: Sepia Hulks are an odd bunch.  If they aren't hungry they're content to merely watch hidden from the shadows.  Just to see what intruders are up to.  But if they are hungry, then the go for draining energy levels immediately, and running once they have enough.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #152 on: February 10, 2009, 11:16:21 AM »
Giant Tick
Tiny Vermin
HitDice: 1/2d8+2 (4 hp)
Initiative: + 0
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares), climb 10 ft.
Armor Class: 14 (+2 Size Bonus, +2 Natural armor Bonus), touch 12, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +0/ -12 (+0 if attached)
Attack: Touch +2 melee (Attach)
Full Attack: Touch +2 melee (Attach)
Space/Reach: 2 ½ ‘/ 0 ‘
Special Attacks: Attach, blood drain, Disease
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60’, Scent, Vermin Traits
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +0. Will +0
Abilities: Str 3, Dex 10, Con 14, Int --, Wis 10, Cha 2
Skills: Hide + 16, Spot +4
Feats: -
Environment: Any Temperate or Warm Mountains, Hills, Plains, Marsh, or Forest
Organization: Solitary or Colony (8-16)
Challenge Rating: 1/4
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: ---
Level Adjustment: ---

Small Vermin
Hit Dice: 1d8+2 (6hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 30’ (6 squares), Climb 20’
Armor Class: 14 (+1 Size, +3 Natural), touch 11, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: + 0/ -5 (+7 if attached)
Attack: Touch + 1 melee (Attach)
Full Attack: Touch +1 melee (Attach)
Space/Reach: 5’/ 5’
Special Attacks: Attach, Blood Drain, Disease
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60’, Scent, Vermin Traits
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +0, Will +0
Abilities: Str 9, Dex 10, Con 14, Int --, Wis 10, Cha 2
Skills: Hide + 12, Spot +4
Feats: -
Organization: Solitary, Colony (2-5), or Swarm (6-11)
Challenge Rating: 1/2

Medium Vermin
Hit Dice: 2d8+4 (8 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40’ (8 squares), Climb 20’
Armor Class: 14 (+4 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/+6
Attack: Bite +2 melee (1d6+1)
Full Attack: Bite +2 melee (1d6+1)
Space/Reach: 5’/ 5’
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Blood Drain, Disease
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60’, Scent, Vermin Traits
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +0, Will +0
Abilities: Str 13, Dex 10, Con 14, Int --, Wis 10, Cha 2
Skills: Hide: +4, Spot +4
Feats: -
Organization: Solitary, Colony (2-5), or Swarm (6-11)
Challenge Rating: 1
Advancement: 3 HD (Medium)

Large Vermin
Hit Dice: 4d8
Initiative: +0
Speed: 50’ (10 squares), Climb 30’
Armor Class: 16 (-1 Size, +7 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple: +3/+15
Attack: Bite +5 melee (1d8+4)
Full Attack: Bite +5 melee (1d8+4)
Space/Reach: 10’/ 5’
Special Attacks: Improved Grab, Blood Drain, Disease
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60’, Scent, Vermin Traits
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +1, Will +1
Abilities: Str 19, Dex 10, Con 14, Int --, Wis 10, Cha 2
Skills: Hide +4 , Spot +4
Feats: -
Organization: Solitary, Colony (2-5), or Swarm (6-11)
Challenge Rating: 2
Advancment: 5-7 HD (Large)

Huge Vermin
Hit Dice: 8d8
Initiative: +0
Speed: 50’ (10 squares), Climb 30’
Armor Class: 20 (-2 Size, +12 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 20
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+24
Attack: Bite +10 melee (2d6+6)
Full Attack: Bite +10 melee (2d6+6)
Space/Reach: 15’/ 10’
Special Attacks: Blood Drain, Improved Grab, Disease
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60’, Scent, Vermin Traits
Saves: Fort +9, Ref +2, Will +5
Abilities: Str 23, Dex 10, Con 16, Int --, Wis 10, Cha 2
Skills: Hide +4 , Spot +4
Feats: -
Organization: Solitary, Colony (2-5), or Swarm (6-11)
Challenge Rating: 5
Advancement: 9-16 HD (Huge)

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! GITITOFFMEGITIEOFFMEGITITOFFME!!!!"

I'd add a description here but lets face it you all know what Ticks are.

Skills: Ticks receive a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide and Spot checks. Medium or Larger Ticks have a +4 Racial Bonus to Grapple checks. Tiny or Small Ticks have a +12 Racial Bonus to Grapple checks.

Attach (Ex): Small or smaller Ticks may make a touch attack to attach themselves to an opponent. It loses it's Dexterity bonus to AC, and may be grappled or struck with a weapon. To remove an attached Tick through grappling you must Pin it.

Improved Grapple (Ex): Medium or larger Ticks that successfully hit with a Bite attack may immediately make a Grapple check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity. If it is successful it may use it's blood drain.

Blood Drain (Ex): A Tick does 1d4 temporary Constitution damage per round it is attached (if Small or smaller) or round it successfully maintains a Grapple (if Medium or larger). Once a Tick drains a specific amount of Constitution it drops off and leaves the area. Tiny=4 Con, Small=6 Con, Medium=9 Con, Large=13 Con, Huge=19 Con.

Disease (Ex): Any living creature successfully bitten by the Tick (if medium or bigger), or that it successfully attaches to (if Small or smaller) must make a Fortitude or contract the Red Ache disease (see DMG page 292). Save DC is 12 for Tiny or Small, 13 for Medium, 14 for Large, and 17 for Huge.

Combat: Grapple and suck, pretty much like real life Ticks.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #153 on: February 10, 2009, 11:32:15 AM »
Grey Hulk
                      Large Aberration
Hit Dice:             8d8+32 (68 hp)
Initiative:           +1
Speed:                30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class:          16 (-1 Large, +1 Dex, +6 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 15
Base Attack/Grapple:  +6/+17
Attack:               Claw +12 melee (1d8+7)
Full Attack:          2 Claws +12 melee (1d8+7) and 1 Bite +7 melee (2d8+3)
Space/Reach:          10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks:      Powerful Charge (2d8+3d6+14)
Special Qualities:    Dark Vision 60', Tremorsense 60', Damage Reduction 5/-, Wide Angle Vision
Saves:                Fort +8, Ref +3, Will +6
Abilities:            Str 25, Dex 13, Con 19, Int 11, Wis 11, Cha 13
Skills:               Listen +11, Search +4, Spot +15
Feats:               Greater Powerful Charge, Powerful Charge, Reckless Charge (See the Miniature's Handbook)
Environment:          Warm Desert
Organization:         Solitary, or Herd (5-10)
Challenge Rating:     8
Treasure:             Standard
Alignment:            Usually Neutral Evil
Advancement:          9-12 HD (Large), 13-24 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment:     ---

"Where have I seen this thing before?"

Professor Lambis had been obsessed with Umber Hulks since he was a child and had toys modeled after them.  But upon actually seeing his first Umber Hulk he was massively disappointed.  They were gangly insectoid things as opposed to the hulking humanoid figures he remembered from his youth.  The contest was his perfect chance to remake the Hulk to his vision.  Now they are large humanoid figures with gray, elephant-like hide, and brown bony knobs on the chest and shoulders.  It has large claws and teeth, and shows no signs of it's insectoid heritage.  The Grey Hulks still speak Terran.

Powerful Charge (Ex): The Gray Hulk does 2d8+14 with a successful charge attack, plus the bonus damage from it's Feats.

Wide Angle Vision (Ex): The Gray hulk cannot be Flanked, and has a +4 Racial Bonus to Spot and Search checks.

Combat: Gray Hulks usually open with a charge, and then wail on their opponent.  Given the opportunity they will charge again.


Cookie for anyone who gets what this is...

Radmelon

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #154 on: February 11, 2009, 03:53:14 AM »
Grey Render-ish? :eh  thats what I think.

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #155 on: February 11, 2009, 11:05:22 AM »
Nope :D

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #156 on: February 11, 2009, 12:19:31 PM »
Tick Swarm
Fine Vermin
Hit Dice: 6d8-6 (21 hp)
Initiative: +4
Speed: 20’ (4 squares), climb 20’
Armor Class: 22 (+8 Size, +4 Dex), touch 22, flat-footed 18
Base Attack/ Grapple: +8/ -
Attack: 2d6 plus Blood Drain plus disease
Space/Reach: 10’/ 0’
Special Attacks: Distraction, Anesthetize, Blood Drain, Disease
Special Qualities: Dark Vision 60’, Immune to Weapon Damage, swarm traits, Scent,
Vermin Traits,
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +6, Int +2
Abilities: Str 1, Dex 19, Con 8, Int --, Wis 10, Cha 2
Skills: Hide +20, Spot + 4
Feats: Alertness (B), Endurance (B), Diehard (B)
Environment: Any Warm or Temperate
Organization: Solitary, Tangle (2-4 swarms), or Infestation (7-12 swarms)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: None
Level Adjustment: ---


"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Again, they're Ticks.  No explanation is necessary.

Skills: Ticks receive a +4 Racial Bonus to Hide and Spot checks.

Anesthetize (Ex): A creature attacked by a Tick Swarm must make a Spot check vs it's Hide check to notice it is being attacked if it is in grasses or vegetation higher than half the victims height. Each round of blood drain gains the victim another Spot roll with a cumulative +2 Bonus per round after the first. Creatures attacked by Tick Swarms in open areas or who have some means of detecting them other than sight can see them normally.

Blood Drain (Ex): Any creature damaged by the Tick Swarm loses 1 point of Constitution per round until he exits the Swarm and spends one full round pulling the Ticks off his body.

Disease (Ex): Any creature damaged by the Tick Swarm must make a DC 12 Fort Save or contract the Red Ache disease (see page 292 of the DMG).

Combat: They're Ticks.  No explanation necessary, we all know what the sneaky little monsters do.  Brrr...

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #157 on: February 12, 2009, 01:20:33 PM »
Vampiric Vermin

This is an Acquired Template that can be applied to any Vermin of Medium Size or bigger that has a Bite attack.

Size and Type: Type becomes Undead.

Hit Dice: All current and future Hit Dice become d12's, and hit points are recalculated.

Speed: Unchanged

Armor Class: Base Creatures Natural Armor Bonus increases by +6.

Attacks: Unchanged.

Damage: Unchanged.

Special Attacks: Retains all Special Attacks of base Creature and gains the following:

Blood Drain (Ex): If a Vampiric Vermin pins it's opponent in a Grapple, it does it's Bite damage each round as well as draining 1d4 Con.

Attract Swarms (Su): Swarms of Vermin seem attracted to Vampiric Vermin. There will always be 1d6 Swarms of some kind of vermin near a Vampiric Vermin that attack it's foes. As long as they remain within 60' they share the Vampiric Vermins Immunity to Cold.

Create Spawn (Su): Any Vermin applicable to apply this template to that is killed by a Vampiric Vermin becomes one in 1d4 days.

Energy Drain (Su): Living creatures struck by the Vampiric Vermins Natural Weapons gain 2 negative levels. It can only use this ability once per round.

Special Qualities: Retains any Special Qualities of the Base Creature and gains the following:

Damage Reduction (Su): Vampiric Vermin gain Damage Reduction 10/Silver and Magic

Fast Healing (Ex): Vampiric Vermin gain Fast Healing 5.

Immunities: Vampiric Vermin are Immune to Cold.

Turn Resistance (Ex): Vampiric Vermin have +4 Turn Resistance.

Spider Climb (Ex): Vampiric Vermin can climb surfaces as though with the Spider Climb spell.

Saves: Unchanged

Abilities: +8 Str, +4 Dex, Wis +4, Cha +4

Skills: Vampiric Vermin have a +8 Racial Bonus on Hide, Listen, Move Silently, Search, and Spot checks.

Feats: Vampiric Vermin gain Alertness, Dodge, Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, and Lightning Reflexes.

Environment: Any, usually Unchanged.

Organization: Solitary

Challenge Rating: Same as Base Creature +2

Treasure: None

Alignment: Always Neutral Evil

Advancement: unchanged

Level Adjustment: Same as base Creature +8

Example of creature using template here:

Vampire Tick
Huge Undead
Hit Dice: 8d12 (52 hp)
Initiative: +6
Speed: 50 ft. (10 squares), Climb 30 ft.
Armor Class: 30 (-2 Size, +2 Dex, +20 Natural), touch 10, flat-footed 28
Base Attack/Grapple: +6/+28
Attack: Bite +14 melee (2d6+10 plus disease plus energy drain)
Full Attack: Bite +14 melee (2d6+10 plus disease plus energy drain)
Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Blood Drain, Create Spawn, Energy Drain, Attract Swarms, Improved Grab, Disease
Special Qualities: Scent, Undead Traits, Dark Vision 60 ft., Damage Reduction 10/Silver and Magic, Fast Healing 5, Immune to Cold, Turn Resistance, Spider Climb
Saves: Fort +8, Ref +6, Will +4
Abilities: Str 31, Dex 14, Con -, Int -, Wis 14, Cha 6
Skills: Hide +10, Listen +12, Move Silently +10, Search +8, Spot +12
Feats: Alertness, Dodge, Great Fortitude, Improved Initiative, and Lightning Reflexes.
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary
Challenge Rating: 7
Treasure: None
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Advancement: -
Level Adjustment: ----


"Maw...the giant bug outside says I have to let him eat you..."

Vampiric Vermin are usually created by magical ritual, and are used as shock troops by evil Druids turned Blighter and Wizards.  Sometimes Clerics too.  They aren't usually well controlled, and are left to their own devices to destroy the surrounding countryside in preparations for their masters plan.  Of course their master may then have to put down his creation if he can't bring it to heel.

Radmelon

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #158 on: February 13, 2009, 05:35:25 AM »
Can I have a hint what the grey hulk is? anything core or complete? i'm absolutly stumped!  :shrug

bhu

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Re: Uncle Kitties Guide to Hopefully Humorous Abominations of Nature
« Reply #159 on: February 13, 2009, 11:25:43 AM »
Can I have a hint what the grey hulk is? anything core or complete? i'm absolutly stumped!  :shrug


Professor Lambis had been obsessed with Umber Hulks since he was a child and had toys modeled after them

Focus on this line and it will come to you  :D

or if not Ill just post it.