Author Topic: The worst thing to say during sex...  (Read 165175 times)

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Johannixx

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #40 on: August 12, 2008, 02:59:13 AM »
My friends and I had a contest to see who could come up with the best line to throw out at the moment of orgasm.  The winner was:

"Cleanup on aisle twelve!"

bhu

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #41 on: August 12, 2008, 08:15:50 AM »
"Y'know I've never noticed before this but your sweat smells like popcorn butter..."

Dictum Mortuum

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #42 on: August 12, 2008, 01:20:39 PM »
"Didn't i put a condom on?"

:p

As a matter of fact, i had. But when i finished it wasn't there anymore :P We searched the sheets and the bed, the condom was nowhere to be found. I looked at her and she looked me back. She starting hitting me and threw me out of the room until she found it :P
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PhaedrusXY

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #43 on: August 12, 2008, 01:51:45 PM »
"Didn't i put a condom on?"

:p

As a matter of fact, i had. But when i finished it wasn't there anymore :P We searched the sheets and the bed, the condom was nowhere to be found. I looked at her and she looked me back. She starting hitting me and threw me out of the room until she found it :P
Yeah, I've had that happen before. It's worse when you pull out and only find half the condom still on you.
[spoiler]
A couple of water benders, a dike, a flaming arrow, and a few barrels of blasting jelly?

Sounds like the makings of a gay porn film.
...thanks
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GawainBS

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #44 on: August 13, 2008, 08:49:48 PM »
Some background first: My ex was from an extreme prudish catholic family.

My ex-girlfriend and I were making out, and we're about to get it on, when I ask her "Didn't you say you wanted to use a condom?" (She was taking the pill.) So, she gets up, takes a condom, tosses it in my lap, and goes over to the PC to check her mail... I was... dumbfounded, and got dressed again. After a while, she asks completely unaware of anything "Is it on yet?"

Another time, we were having foreplay, and suddenly, she takes a tissue and wipes between her legs. I asked what was the matter and she said "I was getting too wet."

Last anecdote: Making love, she sits on top. Suddenly, she says "I can't keep this up, this position presses to hard on my clitoris and I'm going to cum. Let's stop." ...I mean, isn't that the whole point?  :looloo

PhaedrusXY

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #45 on: August 13, 2008, 08:52:04 PM »
Last anecdote: Making love, she sits on top. Suddenly, she says "I can't keep this up, this position presses to hard on my clitoris and I'm going to cum. Let's stop." ...I mean, isn't that the whole point?  :looloo
Yeah, this calls for one of those witty "You're doing it wrong" pictures... but I'm too lazy to dig one up.
[spoiler]
A couple of water benders, a dike, a flaming arrow, and a few barrels of blasting jelly?

Sounds like the makings of a gay porn film.
...thanks
[/spoiler]

Nox_Noctis

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #46 on: August 13, 2008, 08:54:33 PM »
Well, I think I understand why she's an ex-.  :lol
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Tshern

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #47 on: August 13, 2008, 08:56:33 PM »
For PhaedrusXY:

Handy Links

GawainBS

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #48 on: August 13, 2008, 08:59:11 PM »
She had some other strange habbits. Going down on her was "Too much fun" and "shouldn't be done anyway, a girl having fun (from sex)."

Those were some pretty wrong things to say.

Oh, on a brighter note: I went to bed earlier, and I put my bokto (or bokuto, a wooden training sword) beside me under the sheets. I tend to dote on it, just for laughs because she was more or less opposed to me practising Iaido.
She gets in bed, feels the bokto, looks at my quizically and I start "Look, I still love you, but what you feel is for the bokto and..."
After a few minutes, she could laugh with it.

AndyJames

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #49 on: August 13, 2008, 09:00:51 PM »
Bokken is the word I use for a wooden training sword. Probably a different sword, though.

GawainBS

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #50 on: August 13, 2008, 09:06:19 PM »
I think it's the same thing. My trainers have referred to it as a bokken, sometimes. Personally, I think a bokken is slightly longer... Maybe that why she was so pissed! I should have brought a bokken to the sheets!

Nox_Noctis

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #51 on: August 13, 2008, 09:44:34 PM »
No, that would've given her too much pleasure, and then you'd have to stop. :P
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GawainBS

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #52 on: August 14, 2008, 05:22:13 AM »
No, that would've given her too much pleasure, and then you'd have to stop. :P

Right, rub it in. :p

awaken DM golem

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #53 on: August 14, 2008, 05:59:46 PM »
" Is that your belly button ... (spooge) "

Cyrocloud

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #54 on: August 15, 2008, 12:26:24 AM »
I've heard this before and it might of been on the one of gleemax forums so sorry if I can't give credit.


guy tells  says "can I put my thumb in your belly button"
Looks quizically and says "okaaaayyy"
seconds later
girl says "thats not my belly button"
guy says"that sure as hell is not my thumb either"


Nox_Noctis

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #55 on: August 15, 2008, 01:19:58 AM »
I've heard this before and it might of been on the one of gleemax forums so sorry if I can't give credit.


guy tells  says "can I put my thumb in your belly button"
Looks quizically and says "okaaaayyy"
seconds later
girl says "thats not my belly button"
guy says"that sure as hell is not my thumb either"




"If you know what I'm talking about. And I think you know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about my penis."
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Johannixx

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #56 on: August 15, 2008, 01:54:22 AM »
"What's young, dumb, and full of cum?"

Nox_Noctis

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #57 on: August 15, 2008, 02:01:31 AM »
A: Any generic young male.
B: Any generic young female having sex.

;)
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AndyJames

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #58 on: August 15, 2008, 02:03:20 AM »
"What's young, dumb, and full of cum?"
One of my acquiantances use that line as his MSN handle. I very much believe that it is an empty boast...

BobismyRhino

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Re: The worst thing to say during sex...
« Reply #59 on: August 19, 2008, 07:59:30 AM »
"Come here and give me something to chew on!" ~said by one of my friends to her boyfriend. Clearly, he lost "it."

People usually think that I've lost my mind. I haven't lost it, I know exactly where it is: the gutter.

My body is a temple. That is why I make chocolate sacrifices in it every day.