The worst thing to say during sex...

[CountArioch]

Yeah, something about a several hundred thousand letter alphabet is hard to learn .

Really, I could use any language to satisfy the foreign language requirements, it's just that my only choice is Spanish.  I'd rather learn either Latin, or learn a Germanic language of some sort.  (I heard that Dutch is really close to English in a lot of ways, although German or Swedish would work too.)

Can't wait until I get my gen-ed stuff done and go to a REAL college next year.

[AfterCrescent]

Abstract languages have flexible grammar. Like English. This means that the straightforward, logical mind of the kind Sunic is describing will have conniptions every time it runs into an "acceptable variant" or other such thing. Japanese is one of the most rigid languages in terms of structure I have ever encountered; I'd wager that AC would have a lot more trouble with Chinese, a much more fluid language.

You're right about Japanese. And I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to learn Chinese, too. It doesn't seem too difficult, although my initial forray has been minor at best.

[AndyJames]

With written Chinese you have to memorise all the ideograms, which is a total pain.

[Kuroimaken]

Abstract languages have flexible grammar. Like English. This means that the straightforward, logical mind of the kind Sunic is describing will have conniptions every time it runs into an "acceptable variant" or other such thing. Japanese is one of the most rigid languages in terms of structure I have ever encountered; I'd wager that AC would have a lot more trouble with Chinese, a much more fluid language.

Spelling, yes; grammar, not so much. I actually find a lot more exceptions when it comes to Japanese grammar than I do when it comes to English. Portuguese ain't even worth mentioning for this discussion, as it's a complete nightmare. Three words: compound kanji reading.

Yeah, something about a several hundred thousand letter alphabet is hard to learn .

I assume you refer to Chinese. With Japanese it's just about 3129 characters or so.

[AfterCrescent]

Ignoring the fact that Kanji =/= an alphabet...

Where are you pulling that out of Kuro? Japanese grammar is very structured. There are exceptions, yes, but there are rules for it. English is a giant pile of bull thrown together.

[j0lt]

Spoken Chinese is relatively easy compared to English. Written Chinese, however, is nasty.

Um, spoken Chinese (Mandarin) is one of the hardest languages to speak in the world (aside from that one African languages that includes a clicking sound) .

Spelling, yes; grammar, not so much. I actually find a lot more exceptions when it comes to Japanese grammar than I do when it comes to English. Portuguese ain't even worth mentioning for this discussion, as it's a complete nightmare. Three words: compound kanji reading.

Are you kidding?  English is the language of exceptions!  Japanese grammar is very straightforward.  There are some tricky bits, but in general each grammatical form contains 2 or 4 hard rules and maybe one or two exceptions.  English grammar has its own category for exceptions!

Ignoring the fact that Kanji =/= an alphabet...

Definitely.  The Japanese language already has enough of that as it is!  Hiragana (cursive form writing) contains 47 characters.  Katakana (used primarily for foreign words and advertising) contains a variant form of the same 47 characters.  Each of the characters connects to one of the 47 consonant+vowel sounds (with the exception of "n").  But for kanji, they say about 2000 are necessary for basic literacy.   :-\

[AndyJames]

Um, spoken Chinese (Mandarin) is one of the hardest languages to speak in the world (aside from that one African languages that includes a clicking sound) .

Clicking sound is likely to be Bushman.

Mandarin is easy. It is pretty straightforward to learn. English, however, is such a bastardised language that there is no rhyme or reason for half the stuff it does.

[CountArioch]

Everyone likes to say that their language is the hardest in the world.  Unless you speak Basque, or Cherokee, or Polish, I don't think you have room to claim your language is very hard.  .

[Elennsar]

Regarding the topic supposed to be the one on the thread:

Q: Have you had your period yet?

A: What's a period?

Or, for the reverse:

Statement: I like 'em too young to bleed.

Nonpyschotic, but still wrong:

"Wrong hole, wrong hole!"

"Lay still like your mother, damnit!"

[BobismyRhino]

Reminds me of the time I said a curling iron would make a great sex toy.  Just slide it in her, and plug it in.

I was struck for that one.  I consider it worth it.

Which leads me to:

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

[CountArioch]

"Wrong hole, wrong hole!"

"There ain't nothing wrong about it, baby!"

[AndyJames]

"Wrong hole, wrong hole!"

So there was this sailor who's been at sea for a long time. He comes back to land and immediately goes find a woman of... "negotiable morals". Unfortunately, the only one he could find was on the heavy side. Still, they negotiated and he was finally getting some relief.

Suddenly, she started screaming out, "You're in the wrong hole! You're in the wrong hole!"

The sailor shrugged and shouted back, "Any port in a storm!"

[Kuroimaken]

Ignoring the fact that Kanji =/= an alphabet...

Where are you pulling that out of Kuro? Japanese grammar is very structured. There are exceptions, yes, but there are rules for it. English is a giant pile of bull thrown together.

Um, dude? I study that. You try finding a rule on how to make group I verbs behave. The day you make that happen, you can have my virginity.

As for kanji not being an alphabet, you still can't read a Japanese newspaper without kanji. And I seriously doubt hanzhi fall in that cathegory, too.

Definitely.  The Japanese language already has enough of that as it is!  Hiragana (cursive form writing) contains 47 characters.  Katakana (used primarily for foreign words and advertising) contains a variant form of the same 47 characters.  Each of the characters connects to one of the 47 consonant+vowel sounds (with the exception of "n").  But for kanji, they say about 2000 are necessary for basic literacy.

Lil' explanation on how that works.

Kanji are actual words in and of themselves. Some of them have different meanings despite being the exact same kanji (for example, the kanji for listening and the kanji for asking are the same, and so is the verb). When you join up kanji + hiragana, you have sentences. Now, if you know around 200+ kanji, you should be able to read a newspaper fairly well. Some kanji are actually derivated from others (hiragana and katakana are kanji derivations as well) and others are created by combining them together (for example, the kanji for "sadness" is the same as "sin" plus "heart" stacked on top of each other).

Also, slightly little known fact... most kanji have two readings, called on-yomi and kun-yomi (the latter being the "chinese" reading for a given ideogram while the former is the "japanese" reading for the same). Thankfully, there are plenty of kanji with repeated kun-yomi readings (like "ken", for example, which sounds the same whether the kanji used is the one for fist, sword or province, or "gan", which sounds the same whether you're using the kanji for "rock" or "origin").

The Japanese also have different verbal forms for compound verbs, passive verbs, they don't have the future tense, and kanji have different readings when you combine them with other kanji...

In short, I find Japanese grammar to be more complex than English. Also more full of exceptions on account of "group 1" verbs and adjectives.

[Tshern]

AC and Count: Learn Finnish. Our language is a serious mess, for example you can put words in any order you want!

[Shewolf]

Also add Shewolf making some lupine joke to the list.

What manner of joke were you expecting me to say, exactly? 'Cuse I've got quite a few. Actually, I've got more sheep jokes, for some reason, though I guess those almost count.

Anyhow, the bull semen thing went thusly:
Sam "Mmm, bull semen"
AfterCrescent "You've got to say that to Omar in bed"
Shewolf "Only if I want to get punched in the face."
AfterCrescent "And you do"

Anyhow, why are we talking about language? This thread is about sex!

[bhu]

"So my grandma wants to know if you're into anal fisting..."

[Elennsar]

BEcause all threads are eventually derailed, I forget which law it is.

Okay, on the subject of sex:

"I put it in your -what-?"

[Shewolf]

Folks, I was just informed, as Omar was reading over my shoulder, that if I ever say that, it will be way, way worse than a punch in the face.

Too bad there is no smiley with a black eye.

[Sunic_Flames]

Also add Shewolf making some lupine joke to the list.

What manner of joke were you expecting me to say, exactly? 'Cuse I've got quite a few. Actually, I've got more sheep jokes, for some reason, though I guess those almost count.

Anyhow, the bull semen thing went thusly:
Sam "Mmm, bull semen"
AfterCrescent "You've got to say that to Omar in bed"
Shewolf "Only if I want to get punched in the face."
AfterCrescent "And you do"

Anyhow, why are we talking about language? This thread is about sex!

Get creative. I don't want to scare the normals. It's your opening.

[GawainBS]

Yeah, something about a several hundred thousand letter alphabet is hard to learn .

Really, I could use any language to satisfy the foreign language requirements, it's just that my only choice is Spanish.  I'd rather learn either Latin, or learn a Germanic language of some sort.  (I heard that Dutch is really close to English in a lot of ways, although German or Swedish would work too.)

Can't wait until I get my gen-ed stuff done and go to a REAL college next year.

I can imagine that Dutch is a bitch to learn for an English speaker. (I'm Belgian, and we speak Dutch, don't ask for details.) There are a lot of exception-based verb conjugations and there are more conjugations as a whole. Compared to English, the tenses are harder to form, but easier to use, where as English has not so hard to form tenses and using them correctly, is tricky. Ofcourse, I'm biased, since it's my native tongue. On the other hand, I can speak six languages to a varying degree, so I have some grounds to judge from.