The worst thing to say during sex...

[AfterCrescent]

Inspired by THIS COMIC STRIP!

What's the worse thing you have ever said/heard said to you during/directly after climax?

Bobismyrhino bombarded me by making the noises Wall-E makes when it finds something fascinating.

My retaliation a few days later was to whisper in her ear: "You smell like your father."

So yeah, let's hear some of your worst...
PS: This thread was totally her idea... >.>

[DetectiveJabsco]

Baby, I...I...I have AIDS.

It only works once, and is only fun for a few moments, But it can quickly get out of hand.

[AfterCrescent]

Yeah. I meant to say that the standard "I have _____" Where blank is any disease is kind of predictable. Let's shoot for originality.

[BobismyRhino]

PS: This thread was totally her idea... >.>

I see what you did thar!


Also, you forgot the oh, so amusing: *as guy is finishing* Girl exclaims, "Oh! I need to call my mom."  These exclamations are merely moments of clarity.  

And of course, making ewok noises during sex... (This is from my favorite story that my friend told me).

[DetectiveJabsco]

Originality is so...Original.

But...My friends and I have a game where we each call one another when were are about to finish. This is normally bad. We have a point system setup.

1 Point-You make the Call
2 points-She lets you finish
5 Points-She gets on the line
10 Points-She gets on the Line and Says "this ones for _______" where _______ is the guy who shes with name.

This is fun Only one of us has ever gotten 10 points at the same time.

[Sinfire Titan]

"I find the best type of birth control is to point at it and laugh." Junko.


For me? If she starts talking about me growing a beard, for some reason I lose interest.

It isn't that I can't grow one, I just don't like how my own face feels if I don't shave for more than two days. And for some reason I lose my erection whenever my girl mentions it. I think she knows this, and is using it to make me quit wanting sex outright.

[Tshern]

"My secretary so enjoyed this too!"

[SorO_Lost]

Women: "Wait, I need to put my condom on."

[Nox_Noctis]

"Luke, I am your father."

(You didn't say it had to be heterosexual.)

[Tshern]

"Luke, I am your father."

(You didn't say it had to be heterosexual.)

"Look, I am your father" works as well.

[Bozwevial]

"Oh thank God, I was worried this was too soon after last time."

[AndyJames]

"Is it in?"

[Nox_Noctis]

"Wait, what's that?" [As he or she reveals their lower region.]


EDIT: "Oh, I've already got one of those, nevermind."

[AndyJames]

An elderly couple, after dancing around it for months, finally decides to do the dirty. With great effort, the 85 year-old man gets it up and they proceed to have some fun, then as he was grunting on top of her and feeling the onset of orgasm, the woman, who had been staring at the ceiling in what he assumed to be rapture, says, "Green. Yes, we should paint the ceiling green."

[Sunic_Flames]

An elderly couple, after dancing around it for months, finally decides to do the dirty. With great effort, the 85 year-old man gets it up and they proceed to have some fun, then as he was grunting on top of her and feeling the onset of orgasm, the woman, who had been staring at the ceiling in what he assumed to be rapture, says, "Green. Yes, we should paint the ceiling green."

You win one thread. Congratulations.

[CountArioch]

I have one.

My ex knew this dude on WoW.  He was a night elf hunter called Cliche, and he had a tiger pet named Trite.

For some reason, for a period of about two or three weeks, my ex wouldn't shut up about the guy.

One time, she decided to bring it up when we were having sex.  I was close to reaching Shangri-La, when she started it up.

"Yeah, I know this guy who plays a night elf hunter."

"I don't care"

"But he named his character Cliche"

"I know, you've told me"

"But he has a tiger pet"

"Yes, I know, please stop"

"No, his pet is named..."

"GODDAMMIT, HE'S A NIGHT ELF HUNTER WHO'S FUCKING NAME IS CLICHE AND HIT PET IS A TIGER NAMED TRITE!  YOU'VE FUCKING TOLD ME THREE TIMES THIS WEEK, I FUCKING KNOW!"

At that point, I was completely flaccid, so I rolled over, pulled the blanket over my head, and said "Good night"

She bitched at me about how she didn't understand how I could be in the middle of sex then suddenly not want it anymore.

[Sinfire Titan]

[quote author=CountArioch link=topic=1428.msg37945#msg37945 date=1218417884
She bitched at me about how she didn't understand how I could be in the middle of sex then suddenly not want it anymore.
[/quote]

Happened to me before. Its why you are supposed to make out with her while in missionary position.

[CountArioch]

Happened to me before. Its why you are supposed to make out with her while in missionary position.

Actually, I was too busy ruing the day I married the bitch.

[SorO_Lost]

Happened to me before. Its why you are supposed to make out with her while in missionary position.

Actually, I was too busy ruing the day I married the bitch.

Try doggy style, just to shove her face into a pillow if you know what I mean.

***

Have another.
"I think my water just broke."

[CountArioch]

Happened to me before. Its why you are supposed to make out with her while in missionary position.

Actually, I was too busy ruing the day I married the bitch.

Try doggy style, just to shove her face into a pillow if you know what I mean.

That would involve me having sex with her again.  I'd rather eat razor wire, pull it out my ass, anf floss myself to death.