Boobs: The leading cause of suprise rounds

[Inufandom]

So yes, boobs. I understand some campaigns involve the Book of Erotic Fantasy among the books open to the players. Mine does not, thank god. However, that didn't stop my players from accomplishing getting a surprise round.

So, in my campaign they are going through the Dead Throne adventure in Sandstorm, and entering into the King's house. They notice the many guards I stationed in the courtyard area. And while I was being serious, two of my players decided to cook up a scheme. The enemy rolled poorly, and so one was able to sneak along the domed ceiling, and then dropped down into the middle of them. She then proceeded to remove her top, and cried "Party!"  And went running through the enemies flashing her boobs. Running out of the room, the character screamed "We're going streaking!" Needless to say, the PCs got a surprise round for sheer stupidity.

My players don't need the damn BoEF to mess with the DM...

[RobbyPants]

Just wait for them to come up with creative uses for the Perform skill.

[Inufandom]

One of my players is a member here. Let's not give them any ideas... 

[weenog]

Clever players.  Easy way to avoid that kind of thing, though, it's not being a pervert.  I don't mean by this that you should smack your players down for involving sexual or silly (or both) content in the game.  What I mean is that it's very abnormal to be sexually interested in a different species.  (This doesn't work so well with humans as they can and do crossbreed with virtually anything up to and including humans, suggesting that humans are the base species and everything they're interfertile with is a subspecies of human, but I digress.)  So, include some NPCs that aren't perverts, sometimes.  It doesn't matter how pretty nor charismatic the elf or halfling or whatever is, the dwarf or hobgoblin or other incompatible race guard who is a sensible and well-adjusted person will respond anywhere from "meh" to "yuck" to mild, non-incapacitating surprise, and do his job.

Just like you might if you saw a baboon displaying its gigantic ass in your direction.  (Assuming, of course, that you frequent a region in which the mere presence of a baboon isn't a shock on its own.)

[bhu]

Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

[Inufandom]

Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

Tottaly going to use that next time... but I'll make it oh so precious.... by having it be an undead that says it lol

[AtomicKitKat]

Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

This made me clench in empathy. Unless you have some acid/fire-based(or one not bypassed by it) form of regeneration, I'm not sure either the catcher or pitcher will be enjoying it.

[Inufandom]

That's priceless 

[RobbyPants]

Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

This made me clench in empathy. Unless you have some acid/fire-based(or one not bypassed by it) form of regeneration, I'm not sure either the catcher or pitcher will be enjoying it.

Just don't be a mammal. I guess birds can eat peppers because they don't react to the chemical that makes them spicy. This is because birds are better at spreading the seeds. It's just we humans have developed a taste for such pain things. I'm not sure if this is that only  mammals are affected or only birds aren't, so I don't know about things like reptiles. Undead would probably work.

[InnaBinder]

Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

This made me clench in empathy. Unless you have some acid/fire-based(or one not bypassed by it) form of regeneration, I'm not sure either the catcher or pitcher will be enjoying it.

Just don't be a mammal. I guess birds can eat peppers because they don't react to the chemical that makes them spicy. This is because birds are better at spreading the seeds. It's just we humans have developed a taste for such pain things. I'm not sure if this is that only  mammals are affected or only birds aren't, so I don't know about things like reptiles. Undead would probably work.

Did you just advocate for undead buttsecks, Robby?

[RobbyPants]

Did you just advocate for undead buttsecks, Robby?

Only as an option for alleviating unnecessary pain. It almost sounds altruistic if you think about it like that. 


Oh. I also advocated reptilian buttsecks. 

[bhu]

Optionally you can also shock them by having the guards be perverts.  "Thog..Thog toss me the hot sauce I need some butt lube for this elf."

This made me clench in empathy. Unless you have some acid/fire-based(or one not bypassed by it) form of regeneration, I'm not sure either the catcher or pitcher will be enjoying it.

Just don't be a mammal. I guess birds can eat peppers because they don't react to the chemical that makes them spicy. This is because birds are better at spreading the seeds. It's just we humans have developed a taste for such pain things. I'm not sure if this is that only  mammals are affected or only birds aren't, so I don't know about things like reptiles. Undead would probably work.

We developed a taste for chilis it is estimated for several reasons:

The majority of populations heavily enjoying spicy foods are in areas of tropical heat.   Chilis make you sweat, keeping you cooler in such climes.  Also since food preservation s difficult, and your meat may be a little iffy, they come in handy as they have mild antibacterial properties.

Plus bad guy just needs a condom or a strapon.  Problem solved for pitcher.

[InnaBinder]

Brilliant Gameologists: The only place where you can find out how to optimize hot-pepper buttsecks.   

[SneeR]

I once played a character who was selfish in every way. She escaped from the middle of a cult where her friends were trapped with the heavy implication that she would perform sexual favors for them later, as a fellow cultists, of course...
Man, I love Bluff.

[AriasDerros]

Hmmm... If humans have to worry about spice, but birds don't, then where do raptorians fall?

Also, I agree with weenog, as in my campaign a character (who was a doppleganger) tried to bluff his way past a guard by telling the guard that there was a bunch of prostitutes at the main guard post. His bluff worked, but the guard wasn't going to risk losing his job, or his wife, for that. Player is having to learn that just because you can make them believe the lie, doesn't mean they care.

However, I think the point was the undead were stunned by the randomness and stupidity of it, and not because of college-boy staring. Just to clarify that the baboon thing is not equivocal, the baboon doesn't fall from the ceiling and scream stuff in english.

Also, if you had wanted to, instead of having the undead be gawking at the stupidity, or start looking for hot-sauce for lube, have them do the gnoll/troll thing. ie. want to eat the human.

....and given the gender involved, I don't mean to eat her in the good way.

[zugschef]

The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness. The spice must flow.

[RobbyPants]

Hmmm... If humans have to worry about spice, but birds don't, then where do raptorians fall?

I'm not sure. The highly scientific Cracked article that I got my information from didn't go into raptorians. It's just lazy of them, really.

[AriasDerros]

The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness. The spice must flow.

absolute, unadulterated win.

[bhu]

I havent had the last 3 peppers on that cracked list...I has a new mission!

[zugschef]

The spice extends life. The spice expands consciousness. The spice must flow.

absolute, unadulterated win.

thanks. i just love that story.